I've wanted to post EO fanfic for so long and I finally decided to write one a post it. Please review and tell me what you think.
TW: Mentions of assault.
soon to be M rated.
One second could have changed everything that happened in ten years. One second to just pick up the phone and call her. His eyes began to burn red and his heart beat starts to jump abnormally. His throat began to feel as thought barbed wire was constricting around it as his vision became blurry from the salty tears that were milliseconds away from crashing down. One hand left the steering wheel rubbing the tears away not needing anymore accident to happens anytime soon. His mind ran frantically because he knew what he could've prevented. He knew he would be able to save her and yet he wasn't there to, he couldn't. Small tremors prevented his body from remaining calm and still, every movement more shaky than the last.
SVU DETECTIVE CAPTURED BY SERIAL RAPIST
He physically felt the pain in his heart when he read the words. Unsteady breaths left his mouth as he tried so desperately to refrain himself from sobbing. He began to wonder if she even wanted to see him right now. A few nights before he'd been to her house drugged, befuddled and decided to tell her the truth. That he didn't write the letter but it was his deceased wife. He was barely able to hold a conversation or keep him self up. He remembers reaching for her that night but nothing much after. But he thought she probably didn't want to hear much after or deal with the consequences the next morning seeing that he woke up at his sergeant's house. Amongst other things it's almost eleven at night and she has a kid now. Regardless of how he thought she wouldn't want to see him he had too.
It was too much to just wait for the right time or another day. He's also taking a big risk coming to see her. He's still undercover and if he's seen it can mean big trouble. He doesn't care. It can put her in danger as well. Maybe it's selfish that it doesn't stop him. He parks some feet away from her building. He walks the street up right wearing a dark hoodie that hopefully doesn't seem suspicious. When he reaches the glass doors with bright lights coming on from the inside he pulls the hoodie off of his head and keeps a normal composure this time. Seeing that last time he was here the receptionist was hesitant to let him up. Luckily he was able to form a proper sentence. The man let's him into the elevator and he's on his way to see her. Then he feels it again but this time it's anger. He's not even sure who he is mad at. Himself, Lewis, Cragen or her squad that took so long to notice something wrong and to mention Cassidy. He better not run into him. He try's to hold himself together as he repeatedly reads the name on the door in his head. He takes off the hoodie and folds it over his arm then knocks on her door. A lot less harsh this time.
When he sees her it feel as though everything in him just stops.
"Elliot, you can't keep doing this-" She stops what she's saying at the sight of him.
He has tears running down his cheeks that are bright in color. All of this but his face is straight and serious. With her in the front of him it almost calms him all the way down because she's here and alive.
There is still silence between them as she motions him to come inside. She locks the door behind him and as soon as she turns to him he is pulling her in a protective solicitous hug. Like she has always been she is brought back by the sudden affection he's showing her. It takes her a minutes but her arms reach around his back moving up and down and she's able to feel his hot heaving breath on her neck. She can feel the anxiety start to build inside of her at the thought of what is making him act this way. He pulls away and for a few seconds he stares at her directly in her eyes and leads them to her sofa to have a seat. She doesn't question him or resist she just follows him. When she sits next to him he pulls her hand into his and it makes her more worried. His eyes are down casted to their hands.
"Liv I'm sorry Olivia." He hates himself because he has heard himself say those exact same words before.
"What is going on Elliot." Her eyes are search his and she thinks she can almost feel the pain they portray.
"I know what happened liv, I know what that monster did to you."
Hearing those words her hands grips his tighter and it's involuntary. She doesn't want to have a panic attack in the front of him so she shuts her eyes and just breaths.
"I should've been there. I would've saved you , I would've killed him."
He looks at her and her eyes are still closed but neither of them pull away.
"Ho- how did y-you find out?"
Her voice is barely a whisper as her words become broken but he still hears every words she says.
How he found out isn't the best way when he could've just came and spoke to her himself but it's beyond the situation at this point.
"I wanted to know what I missed while I was gone so I typed in you name on my office computer after checking in with bell and it was one of the first things I saw."
She remains quiet and listens to him.
"I began reading the article and liv I just couldn't, I couldn't and I didn't want to believe it happened. I had to come see you."
Her silence starts to get to him and he almost stops because he doesn't know what it is doing to her hearing this all again.
"Please talk to me."
And she does.
"It happened about two years after you left. The two years you left without answering my calls or texts."
Although it hurts him to hear her say that he doesn't interrupt because he knows it's what she needs.
"We we're interviewing a perp. William Lewis and he was convinced I had some sick thing for him or a vendetta, whatever the hell it was. We found out about his past what he did to girls that he kidnapped….. some didn't make it out alive. He was taken into custody but somehow escaped after faking his suicide then escaping the hospital and not to long after he broke into my apartment."
His eye catches how her right leg is bouncing uncontrollably as she speaks to him so he places his free hand on her legs soothing over her knee in an attempt to calm her some and it works a little.
"Cragen sent me home for two days even though I didn't want to. When I went home that night h-he was there and he pointed a gun at me. He gave me sleeping pills and alcohol that keep me unconscious while he burn and branded me."
He watched in pain as her hands traced over parts of her body as she spoke indicating where he burned and branded her.
Her voice began to run off into a whisper but tears were yet to fall.
He knew she was holding it all in trying to be the strong captain everyone sees her as but he wants her to know that she doesn't have to with him. He gives her hand a squeeze as she continued.
"He called Cassidy with my cell phone and it hurt me so much to hear him say he wouldn't be able to come home that night because he was working. I was terrified El." She's squeezing his hand ever tighter as if she's holding on for dear life.
She doesn't know that he already knows that they were together at the time but that's how he leaves it. He wants nothing more than to pull her into him and hold her all night and let her know that he's here for her but he needs to let her finish. More tears cascade down his face as he can't help but imagine the pain she went through.
"He carried me to this beach house where he tied me up. He killed and hurt so much people on his way there. When I was able to break free from the bed post I nearly beat the guy to death. Weeks later he got me again because I wanted to save this little girl. I told him to rape me instead of her but when he saw I wasn't putting up a fight he forced me to play Russian roulette with him and that's when he killed himself… . . ."
He saw how every word she spoke she started to break down even more and it began to tear him apart.
"Before I nearly beat him to death I told him that you would've came for me, my old partner. You probably would've killed him for me but you didn't because you weren't there." She says with a broken smile and he doesn't know if it's for him.
With his hand on her he still wasn't able to keep her anxiety and panic under control as her leg began bouncing again and he felt the trembling throughout her body.
"I really needed you El. I thought I was going to die." That was when she finally broke before him.
Sobs began coming uncontrollably and her face was completely wet in seconds.
"Liv, I am so sorry, come here."
She threw her arms around him and held on like he would disappear if she lets him go and honestly that's what she thought.
One hand held her back and the other on the back of her head holding her into his chest because her cry's were almost too loud and he didn't want Noah to wake up and meet his mom in a panic.
He hears her try to say something but it's inaudible because she just gets choked up and cry's even harder.
He hugs her even tighter and try's to soothe her.
"Shhh it's okay Liv, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Don't worry I'm hear I won't let anyone hurt you again. I'm not going anywhere."
He whispers to her and runs his hands through her hair. He continued to whisper encouraging and reassuring words to her as her breathing from her frantic crying became normal.
He took the time to appreciate how close they were and realize somehow it felt normal. This was how they were suppose to be a long time ago. She too valued how she felt so safe tucked into his chest with his strong arms wrapped around her body. It was so intimate, intimacy that would only grow more from here.
"What time is it?" She asked her voice dry and scratchy from crying so hard.
He picked up the phone from her coffee table which obviously wasn't his.
"11:57" He glanced quickly at her wallpaper of her and Noah. That boy really brought her so much love and joy.
"We should get you some water then to bed."
She lets him up then he assists her off the sofa and into the kitchen when he goes through her cupboards and pours her water himself. She admires how everything between them seems as though they've been doing it for years. I was like not time between them had really pass. As if they still knew everything about each other and he never left.
She whispers thank you and drinks the water then passes the empty glass to him placing it in the sink. He walks her to her hallway where he pauses. He doesn't want to walk into the wrong room by accident so he lets her lead him through. She walks in the front of him and she looks so comfortable walking him through her home. She's already dressed for bed and he knows she'll still be tired in the morning since she's going to bed so late to get up so early.
The room is dark but she finds her way and before he can tell her good night and leave she speaks.
"Please stay."
He knows he'll be in problems with Ayanna tomorrow but he doesn't care.
She moves over for him and he takes that to be where she wants him. He's comfortable in sweat pants and a tee shirt so he lays there and he's happy he doesn't have to pull her into him, him self. As soon as he's down she rests her head on his chest and listens to his rhythmic heart beat.
"Good night Olivia. I'm not going anywhere." She believes him.
He doesn't know if he should but he still does press his lips against her forehead and throws his left arm around her body.
She drifts off first. He watches her as she sleeps admiring how beautiful she still is until her follows after.