January
look, listen
I like the way you look
I like the way you smell
I like the way you talk
I think we'd get along well
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
The ungodly hour of the night displayed on the right-hand side of her monitor went unnoticed by Brittany, who loudly yelled her commentary. Tired eyes glanced over at the time. 3:37 a.m., she knew that she would be getting an earful from Mr. Clarke across the hall about the noise. It's not like she could help it; this game was pissing her off. She'd just lost again on her 4th hour of nonstop Valorant gameplay, and her aim had gotten shittier as the night went on. Because it was the crack of dawn, she only had about 11 viewers on her twitch stream, and she knew if she didn't get off soon, she'd start dozing on her livestream.
Brittany streamed. She streamed Valorant, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto. She streamed Minecraft, The Walking Dead, Red Dead Redemption. She streamed, she streamed, she streamed. She usually had fun doing it too, and she better have; she dropped out of college for it.
In her freshman year of college, Brittany planned to be a business major, which was fine, but she didn't know what she wanted to do with that degree. She enrolled in university because she felt that it was the only option. It was what her high school teachers grilled her about, what her parents had savings accounts for, and what all of her friends were doing. She didn't want to be left behind. So, she applied for San Francisco State University.
That endeavor obviously didn't last.
"Alright guys, I'm going to bed. Thanks for hanging with me" She smiled into her webcam. As soon as the stream shut off, her smile dropped into a tired sigh. She closed out all of her tabs and proceeded to exhaustedly belly flop into her bed.
As she shuffled underneath the covers, she wished she'd turned off the ceiling fan. The chilly winter air raised goosebumps on her skin and caused her to shiver as thoughts swirled around her head, eyes staring into the darkness of her room.
For Brittany, winter was... hard. An underlying misery followed her like a shadow during the colder months. She didn't know if it was seasonal depression or merely "winter blues." Still, she did know that her motivation and liveliness plummeted from late November to January every year.
She also knew that into the early hours of dawn, it was now technically New Year's Eve, and she had hope that she'd get back to the typical bubbly Brittany in no time. She was usually a ball of happiness and energy, and she knew that she couldn't be all sulky for long. She'd find herself again in the new year. Maybe she'd even find something new and extraordinary.
"It's almost over." She whispered into the blackness, squeezing her eyes tightly. "A few more weeks, then I'm back."
As she drifted into morning consciousness, Brittany heard muffled voices from the other side of her bedroom door. She could tell from the choppy and awkward leprechauny dialect that one of the voices belonged to her Irish roommate, Rory. She perked her ears, trying to make out who the other voice belonged to when her door burst open.
"Goodmorning, Britt!" a loud voice squeaked from the doorway, piercing into Brittany's eardrums.
Since her freshman year of college, Sugar Motta, an eccentric trust fund baby, had been one of Brittany's closest friends. She'd been there for Brittany for years, and Brittany loved her for it, but she could only take the louder, smaller brunette in small doses.
Preferably not morning doses.
"Sugar," Brittany groaned into her pillow. She knew her much-needed sleep would be over if the high-pitched voice heard from the doorway really was Sugar and not a figment of her imagination. "I'm not ready to be alive yet. Try again in a couple hours, please?"
"No, silly!" Sugar laughed as she crossed the room to the side of Brittany's bed. She slowly grabbed a fistful of Brittany's comforter, ready to yank it off of her. "Don't you know what day it is?"
"Ye-"
"It's New Year's Eve!" Sugar shrieked as she snatched the covers off of Brittany, ripping away her warm sanctuary of blanket.
"It's New Year's Eve," Brittany grumbled quietly, chills prickling her skin from being exposed to the air. "which does not explain why you're waking me up at the early hour of-"
With a glance at the clock, Brittany fell silent as she realized that it was, in fact, already noon.
"It's 12:06, you hermit crab, now let's go get lunch, then we can talk about our big plans for tonight and about what we're going to wear!" Sugar exclaimed, her ample bracelets jangling loudly with her movement.
Brittany should have seen this coming. Of course, Sugar had plans to drag her out to some hot-spot club or party. Sugar tried to get Brittany out of the house while she was in her winter slump often, whether it be to concerts and kickboxing classes to a stroll to the coffee shop down the street. Sugar did anything to get the girl out of the house.
"What big plans are you talking about now, Sug?"
"Well," Sugar grinned, "There's this club on Mission Street called 'The Monarch,' it's supposed to be crazy for the new year. We have to be there, Britt. Everyone will be there. I'm pretty sure Snoop Dogg is even supposed to make an appearance."
Brittany had to admit that it sounded fun. She liked going out. Sure, she didn't get out as much in her winter slump, but it didn't stop her from enjoying herself when she did. Brittany was known to be somewhat of a partier. She loved to dance, loved to get buzzed, to get more than buzzed, and likely woke up the next morning in someone else's bed when she did.
"Always trying to get me into something" Brittany feigned annoyance but couldn't stop the slight smile forming on her face.
"Don't even act like it won't be me dragging you off of the dance floor by the end of the night. Unless you find a hottie to take home, that is," Sugar grinned hopefully. "So, what do you say?"
"Well… you had me at Snoop Dogg."
Santana rolled her eyes as yet another doofus with a smirk and a pretentious haircut walked up to her. She wasn't attracted to guys, but even if she was, she wouldn't be into the conceited assholes that seemed to flock to her like moths to a lamp in this club right now. She was really starting to regret letting Quinn drag her and Kurt to this place instead of spending New Year's Eve at a gay bar. It wasn't fair. Quinn was the only straight one; she should be the one declining advances from the undesired gender all night.
She had to admit, though, that the place really was jumping. The strobing lights, booming music, and the alcoholic buzz that Santana was riding supplied a satisfying mood to her night. There was even talk of Snoop Dogg showing up later. She'd really been enjoying it, aside from the douchey guys trying to get into her pants.
"Keep walking Great Value Justin Beiber. I'm not interested." Santana snickered to the man approaching her.
GVJB scoffed and turned to walk away, muttering something that sounded like "rude bitch". Satisfied, Santana turned back to her drink. It's not like she could blame the guy; she looked hot. She wore a simple, sexy, little black dress that highlighted her smooth bronze skin, paired with heeled boots.
Being a fashion major at the Fashion Institute of San Fransisco came with looking good wherever Santana went. Still, she had been doing that before ever applying to the institution.
"Alright, enough shooting down guys who look like they have to get up early tomorrow for a golf tournament; we dragged you out of the house to have fun. Let's go dance." Kurt said from beside her.
"Yeah, and you've been sulking over she-who-will-not-be-named for far too long now. Let's go get you back out there." Quinn agreed as she stood up from her stool.
Rolling her eyes, Santana downed the rest of her drink and followed Kurt and Quinn to the dance floor. She guessed she could start looking for a rebound hookup. It had been creeping up on a month of brooding over her breakup. Being cheated on had to be worse than getting stranded in space or being trampled by rhinos. Santana was sick of being sad about it.
The trio danced for a bit in the sea of people, getting lost in the music. It was sweaty, and there wasn't much space between bodies. Still, Santana's tipsy-bordering-drunken state prevented her from dwelling on it too much. She sang along loudly, moving with the beat when the DJ remixed "Drop it Like It's Hot" into the song playing. Santana wondered if Snoop had actually shown up.
Scanning the crowd, she did not find the famous rapper, but her eyes did stop on something else.
Someone else.
A tall, gorgeous blonde staring right back at her.
Santana instantly shivered at Mystery Blonde's relentless stare; blue eyes grazed over her face, legs, breasts, and whole body. Santana composed herself from the unexpected attention and smirked back. If Blonde would be so open about her leering, Santana decided she should be too.
She was not disappointed in the absolute hotness that she found. Killer body with legs that never seemed to end and one of the most alluring faces she'd ever seen. Her high cheekbones and thin pink lips were all very appealing, but what really drew Santana in were her eyes. Cattish, striking blue, and intensely boring right back into her own.
"Jesus Christ…" Santana muttered under her breath. Her quiet words were lost in the noise of the nightlife, but her dancing slowing to a stop caught Kurt and Quinn's attention anyway.
"She's a stunner." Kurt commented with a smirk, following Santana's gaze, his voice breaking her out of her lust-ridden haze. "You should go talk to her."
Finally breaking her eyes away from The Seductress, Santana turned to Kurt and quickly nodded. "You know what? I will." she replied.
Santana could faintly hear Quinn whooping at her over the roaring music as she took purposeful strides toward Miss Kissable. She didn't know exactly what she planned to say. She hadn't tried talking to a girl like this since… her, but she usually got by just fine winging these types of things.
As she got closer and closer, Blonde noticed Santana approaching and offered her a dazzling smile. Santana reached Smiley Blonde's personal space bubble and paused.
"Hey." Blonde spoke with a light blush. Santana found it amusing that she was being cutesy-shy now after she basically just eye-fucked her from across the room.
"You're cute." Santana chuckled. Stunner Blonde tilted her head and furrowed her brows, illustrating that she couldn't hear the dark-haired girl over the bass-heavy music. Emboldened by the alcohol, Santana leaned in closer, stretching to reach the taller girl's ear.
"Your eyes are so sexy, Blondie." Santana whispered in her ear, her raspy voice lowering.
Blonde pulled her in closer by the shoulder, bringing her lips to Santana's own ear. "It's Brittany." She smiled into Santana's ear, her light breath inciting a rush of tingles in the back of the brunette's neck.
Brittany's heartbeat accelerated as she took the gorgeous Latina's hand and began dancing with her. She was starting to thank her lucky stars that Sugar had found this place, now. Speaking of Sugar, she hadn't seen her since she went off with some guy 20 minutes ago. But that didn't matter now. Brittany was concerned with feeling the Latina's ass grinding into her front.
They danced for half an hour at least, wordlessly moving with each other in tandem. Their movement was heavily charged, and Brittany was so lost in the feeling that she realized she didn't even know the other girl's name.
"What's your name?" She asked curiously. Santana turned in her arms so that they were facing each other, getting lost again in those precious blue eyes, and answered.
"It's Santana."
"Santana," Brittany repeated back slowly, testing the syllables deliciously, tasting them on her tongue. She had never heard of this name before; it was lovely and fitting. "Such a beautiful name."
Santana had never heard anyone say her name like that before.
She simply smiled her thanks. Santana was sure that if her skin held a lighter complexion, a strong blush would bloom her cheeks. She broke eye contact for the first time since she turned around to face Brittany. Her eyes nervously flitted around, seeking to look anywhere else. Santana wasn't sure what about this woman that made her feel so… fluttery.
The music paused as the DJ started to speak into his microphone. "The Ball drops in 15 minutes, people, so let's really enjoy these last moments of 2021!"
The crowd got rowdier as everyone cheered, and as bodies bumped into Brittany, she realized how cramped the dance floor was. She had developed a mild fear of crowds when she got separated from her parents at a St. Patrick's parade at age five. Since then, she could not do crowded areas unless she had some alcohol. As feet stepped on her heels, she started to feel sober up quickly.
Santana noticed the change in Brittany's demeanor, but before she could address it, the blonde was asking her rushedly, "Can I buy you a drink?"
Santana nodded and boldly took Brittany by the hand, leading her to the bar. Feeling anchored by Santana's hand in hers, Brittany managed to compose herself without panicking. The pair arrived at the bar and somehow snatched two empty stools.
"Hey, are you okay?" Santana asked concernedly as they sat down.
Brittany nodded quickly, not wanting to unsettle Santana. "Of course, just got a little overwhelmed. It was nothing, really." Brittany smiled through the half-lie.
Her answer was less than satisfying to Santana, but she decided to drop it since she didn't know the girl. It wasn't her business. She found herself wanting to get to know her. Why she got anxious just then, where she was from, who told her that she could walk around in public so strikingly because that should be a safety hazard.
When they got their drinks, it was Santana who spoke first.
"So, you aren't like, here with anyone, are you?" Santana figured it was a good place to start. She was not about to be someone's side piece action; cheating was a bit of a sore spot for her right now.
"Nope," Brittany assured. "Just with my friend Sugar, who… should be around here somewhere." She said with a halfhearted scan around to look for her.
Santana raised her drink and took a long sip to hide her smirk. "I see." Setting her drink down, the brunette brought her leg up to cross them. Her calf deliberately brushed against Brittany's, earning her a slow smile from the blue-eyed girl.
"And you?" Brittany asked with a slight tilt of her head.
"I'm just here with a couple friends too."
Brittany licked her lips and nodded. She shifted closer and twirled some of Santana's hair in her fingers. It was so soft and dark, and a subtle sweet fragrance wafted from it, invading her senses.
The blonde wasn't sure how much longer her arousal could stay at an acceptable level for being in public. She continued to play with the strand of dark hair, and Santana watched through dizzy eyes.
Finally shifting her attention away from dark curls and up to the large digital clock on the club's ceiling, Brittany noticed that there were now just a couple minutes until midnight.
"Seven minutes." She thought out loud. "What's your big New Year goal, Santana?"
Flustered, again, at the way her name dripped from Brittany's lips, Santana hummed and thought about it. What did she want from the new year? If it had been anyone else asking, she would have given her textbook answer: to graduate and get a successful job to start her career in fashion, but something about Brittany compelled Santana to give a more personal answer.
"I don't want to need anybody next year. My goal is to be completely self-sustaining in 2022." Santana nodded unsteadily, her head heavier in her drunken state.
"Santana!" Brittany laughed. "Everyone needs somebody. If we didn't, we'd be that robot who went to Mars."
Confused by the statement, Santana ignored it and opted to return the question.
"Well, what's your goal then?"
"Hmm. I think I want my goal to be… to be happy." She revealed with a giant, toothy grin.
"Well, you look pretty happy right now." Santana chuckled. Brittany's smile was so infectious, she couldn't help but return it.
"FIVE MINUTES UNTIL WE BREAK IN THE NEW YEAR. I WANT EVERYBODY UP FOR THIS!" The DJ's voice boomed through the club. Screams and woops bounced off of the walls, the atmosphere buzzing with excitement to bring in a new year, excitement to leave one behind.
Brittany and Santana laughed at a wasted pudgy man ripping off his shirt, hollering "2022" to anyone listening. After their laughter died down, they sat quietly, and people watched, sipping on champagne. They listened to utter chaos around them, watched as people laughed and cried, some celebrating wildly, some mild and dizzy from a substance, and none of them Snoop Dogg.
They chanted along with the 30-second countdown cheerfully, absorbed in the moment as midnight crept closer with each tick of the clock.
5
Santana makes eye contact, being consumed by bright blues as her lips part in awe
4
Brittany offers a small smile, her blues flickering to Santana's plump lips
3
Santana places her palm on a pale cheek, her eyes never departing blue
2
Brittany shifts forward, their faces now inches apart
1
They meet, basking in the warmth and softness of their kiss. Brittany's hand goes up to the back of Santana's neck to pull her in closer. Both girl's insides flutter as they press against each other, suddenly oblivious to their surroundings.
When they finally broke apart, Brittany's heart skipped a beat as she settled back into her seat.
"You're like, a really good kisser." Brittany admitted easily, sporting a lopsided smile.
"You're not so bad yourself," Santana winked. Although she kept her smooth appearance outside, her stomach was still doing somersaults moments after the kiss.
Brittany was about to say something else when she heard a familiar shriek of excitement from behind her. Turning her head, she discovered a very wasted Sugar stumbling around and laughing loudly to herself.
"Britt!" She exclaimed happily before her eyes went wide and face abruptly paled.
Santana thought that the loud, overly accessorized girl looked like she was going to be sick- like right then. "Uh, is your friend gonna be alri-"
Her question was interrupted by Sugar throwing up everywhere, everyone around them moving to dodge her vomit.
"Oh my god, Sugar!" The prominent smell of vomit sobered Brittany up fairly quickly, and she jumped out of her chair and dragged Sugar to the bathroom, sending Santana an apologetic look.
Santana watched as they disappeared through the bathroom door. What the fuck? Did Brittany's friend just cockblock her via upchuck? The universe must have been acting against her because… what the actual fuck. Not wanting to linger around the pile of puke on the floor, she went to go find Kurt and Quinn.
Finding them sitting in a booth, munching on fries, She slid in next to Kurt and let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Uh oh, didn't work out with Blondie?" Kurt asked.
"Oh, it was working out perfectly, until her friend decided to toss her cookies everywhere." She frowned.
"That's disgusting," Quinn said as she pushed away the basket of fries, which Kurt readily accepted. "Suddenly, I'm not so hungry anymore."
"Yeah, well…" Santana sighed, her brows furrowed. Brittany might be gone by now. Maybe it was a sign from the universe. It was too soon to get into anything new anyways.
"You must have really liked her if that sad pout on your face says anything." Kurt comments around bites of his food.
"I do not have a sad pout on my face." Santana scoffs.
"You do," He laughs. "What, you didn't get her number before she left with Barfy?"
"That wasn't exactly a priority at the moment, so no." She snapped shortly. "They were gone to the bathroom before I could say anything."
"Well, no need to get huffy. Why don't you go over and see if they left yet? Can't hurt to check."
Santana hesitated. Why was she so upset over it anyway? She didn't even know the girl. But something in her gut told her to go check.
When Sugar was as clean as she was going to get, Brittany sighed and threw away the nasty paper towels. This definitely wasn't how she imagined starting off her new year.
"Come on, let's get you home." She muttered. Sugar would never hear the end of this once she regained full sobriety. Dragging Sugar by the arm out of the bathroom, Brittany thought of Santana. She looked over to where she left her at the bar, finding that another group had occupied their seats. She guessed she wouldn't be seeing the brunette for a while.
Right as she started to pull the club door open, she recognized a raspy voice.
"Leaving already?"
Brittany turned to Santana quickly, not bothering to hide her pleased smile.
"Let me get your number, maybe we can pick up where we left off later?" Santana continues, fiddling with her fingers.
"Of course." Brittany smiles. Score! Sugar's disaster was going to be salvageable after all.
Their fingers brushed as Santana handed over her phone, the feeling not going unnoticed by either girl. Santana's goal of the night was to find a decent rebound; finding Brittany was even better than what she had in mind. Even if they hadn't actually done anything, she enjoyed her company more than she'd ever expected.
"Hope I'll be hearing from you soon." Brittany shyly commented while handing the phone back.
"You will." Santana promised candidly.
Santana lied. Almost two weeks had passed since New Year's, and Brittany hadn't heard anything. She'd even picked up all of the 'Scam Likely' calls just in case it was Santana trying to reach her. She was starting to feel like the call just wasn't coming.
It sucked because Brittany felt that they had really clicked, but she was obviously wrong if the girl still hadn't given enough thought to call.
She was sitting in her living room, eating ramen and watching cartoons when her phone rang from the coffee table. She quickly fumbled to answer, but she realized it was just Rory when she looked at the screen.
"What, Rory?" she huffed into the speaker after pressing the green button.
"Sorry, I was just wondering if you could let me in. I left my key in my room." He explained through his thick accent.
Brittany hung up and walked to the door with her arms crossed. "You couldn't have just knocked, you had to call my phone?" Brittany sighed, opening and closing the door after him.
"Well, I figured it was more reasonable to call in case you were gaming, you never can hear with those headphones on." He joked awkwardly.
Rory moved to California from Ireland for work last year, and in all the time he'd been Brittany's roommate, he'd never gotten past the weird acquaintance phase with her. Brittany didn't mind. It meant she didn't have to worry about him getting bold enough to take a pass at her. That was something she was most definitely not interested in.
And besides, she isn't sure that he's gotten past that phase with anyone.
"It's fine Rory, just try to remember it next time please?"
"Will do." He saluted with a dopey smile as he walked backwards into his room. Brittany just shook her head and started for her own room. She figured she should start her Friday night stream soon. Friday night stream was her favorite, she played Call of Duty, and it was a tradition that she had to troll every player she came across.
As she opened Twitch, her marimba ringtone invaded her earshot, jolting her into reaching for her phone hurriedly. Without checking the caller ID, she answered.
"Hello?" She chirped expectantly. Was this it? Did Santana finally call?
"Britt! I got home from the mall and my eye makeup was smudged! Oh god, what if it was like that all day? What if someone took a picture or was filming a music video and me and my smudged eyeshadow make a background appearance?"
Sugar. Freaking Sugar. Calling about blotted eyeshadow no less.
"Sugar, really? I thought it was Santana finally calling." Brittany pouted.
"Santana? Ohh you mean New Year's Girl. She still hasn't called?" Sugar questioned. At Brittany's silence, she continued. "Well if she hasn't called by now…"
"Yeah, I know," Brittany sighed. "Guess I should just stop waiting around huh?" Brittany asked sadly.
"Look Britt, if she couldn't see that you're worth a call back, she must be crazy. You're better off without her."
"I guess you're right."
"Now, onto more pressing issues, my makeup! Promise me that if you see a picture of me online somewhere with raccoon eyes, you'll tell me who posted it! I'm gonna get my daddy to sue those bitches out of everything they own!"
The phone hung up abruptly and Brittany set it on the desk, used to the girl's dramatic exits. Sugar was right, she shouldn't be getting worked up over someone who didn't want her.
Once she set up her stream and went live, she pushed away all her sad thoughts so she could have a happy stream. Her regular viewers started to trickle into the chat and she greeted them kindly.
"Hey chat, how are you guys today?"
[tippyduck0453]: good :) how r u
[Nozzlemaster]: what are yu playing today :0
[kbg99]: gay
She loved interacting with her viewers, it was one of her favorite things about streaming. As she streamed, her mood started to lighten. Messing with randoms on Call of Duty always made her laugh, and the chat was extra funny. After playing for a while, she got into a groove and forgot what was troubling her.
"Oh my god," Brittany laughed hysterically. "That guy was so pissed, I think he's really going to go check on his grandma to see if I actually kidnapped her and forced her to make me his favorite cookies."
She had started to accumulate more viewers than her normal streams got, she had 253 people watching live.
"I actually did kidnap his grandma by the way. She's in the closet." Brittany deadpanned to the camera.
[tippyduck0453]: LMAOOO
[StewR7]: did she actually ?
[ghostiekaylin]: no its tru i was the kidnapper van
After playing for hours into the night, laughing, chatting, and teasing unsuspecting CoD players, she ended the livestream at around 1:30 A.M. Satisfied with a successful stream, she showered and went to bed feeling content.
It had been two weeks. Two weeks since New Year's Day, January 1st. Two weeks since Santana's abuela passed away.
Anyone who'd asked her how she was holding up got the same answer: she was fine. She'd tell them that it was fine, that she wasn't that close with her grandmother anyway, but there were two people in her life that saw right through her act. Kurt and her mother, Maribel.
They watched as she closed herself in her room for two weeks straight, claiming that she was in there so often because she needed to work on a project for school. They found that hard to believe since she skipped class and only left her room to eat, but they could only give her space to grieve.
So while she claimed she was fine, she was maybe not so fine. It was hard though, hard to be okay when the family who disowned her didn't even call when Abuela got sick. When she wasn't allowed at the funeral per Abuela's wishes. When she was left behind for good.
Her own father didn't even tell her that his mother died, she had to hear it from Maribel over the phone while recovering from her New Year's hangover.
"Santanita."
Her mother hadn't used that nickname since she was in grade school, Santana knew something was wrong.
"What is it, Mami?"
"It's your abuela," Maribel paused. "She passed away a couple hours ago, she had gotten sick last week. Your father just called me, I-I'm so sorry mija."
"What…" Santana choked out, tears already brimming her eyes.
"I know, mija, i'm on the way over now, i'm ten minutes away." Maribel said, her voice wavering.
"She's- she's gone?" Santana cried. "I didn't- I couldn't even say goodbye?"
Santana heard a light sniffle come from the other end of the phone. She didn't want to make her mother cry so she attempted to compose herself and be strong for her.
"Uhh", Santana mumbled while wiping her tears. Her head pounded from the combined distress and hangover. "When is the funeral? We'll have to get our plane tickets-"
"Santanita…"
Maribel didn't have to finish her thought for Santana to know that they didn't want her there. Abuela didn't want her there. She couldn't hold in her dam of emotions any longer and broke down in strained sobs.
"Ya voy, mija, okay? Te amo, Santana, I'm almost there."
Instead of responding, Santana set down the phone and cried harder.
So, two weeks later, she was still holed up in her room. She mostly slept, but when she wasn't sleeping, she really was working on a project. It wasn't assigned in school though, it was a project of her own. She was designing a gown, drawing and drafting for hours. Somewhere along in the process, she started to dedicate it to her Abuela. She'd think of her Abuela and add a detail that resembled the memories she held of her. Even though she couldn't be there to send her off, she could grieve in her own way.
Just as she was finishing up the final details of the final sketch, she heard a knock on the bedroom door.
"Come in." She called softly.
The door creaked open and Kurt and Maribel stood smiling mischievously wide at her. She could immediately smell her mother's delicious cooking wafting in.
"Hi, Mami." Santana greeted, standing up from her desk to wrap her in a warm hug. Her mother's hugs always brought her great comfort.
"Hi, Mija. I made dinner, why don't the three of us go eat?"
Santana nodded as she released her mother, and the trio served themselves and sat at the kitchen island stools to eat.
"So," Kurt started. "How's work, Maribel?"
"Good, real estate is always slow this time of year, but that'll change quickly in a couple months." She said with a glance at Santana, who was pushing her food around her plate mindlessly. "How is school?"
"Good so far, classes just started back up and luckily all my professors seem promising. Well except my ancient History professor spent 45 minutes trying to get the projector to work. I can tell it's going to be a loooong semester." He dragged out, and Santana could tell that he was trying to get a reaction out of her. She always had a jab to add when he (or anyone) made fun of someone.
When she stayed silent, he sighed and shared a look with Maribel.
"Look, mija, we're worried about you."
"Well you shouldn't be, I'm fine, Ma." Santana sighed.
"Oh really? When was the last time you left this apartment?" Maribel challenged, slipping into her no-nonsense voice.
"Yesterday." She replied quickly. Too quickly.
"That's actually false." Kurt mumbled under his breath, earning a kick in the shin from Santana.
"Ow!" He whined. "Look as your roommate and best friend, I've noticed that well… you literally haven't done anything in two weeks."
"So you decided to what, tell my mom on me?" She felt herself getting angry. It was none of his business what she did or didn't do.
"We just want you to think about getting out of the house, Santana. At least start going to class, maybe catch up with some friends." Maribel suggested.
"I was gonna start going to class and I already do have plans." Santana boasted, crossing her arms.
"Oh, really?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow.
"Yup." Santana lied through her teeth, popping the "p" loudly. She was sick of them acting like she was incapable of taking care of herself.
"What are these plans then?" Maribel asked.
Shit. She hadn't gotten that far in her lie. "It's uh… OH, it's a date."
"Wait," Kurt said, straightening up in his seat. "You mean with Blondie from New Year's Eve?"
Right… Blondie from New Year's Eve! Maribel looked at Santana expectantly.
"Yes, of course." Santana said smoothly. "I met this girl on New Year's Eve and I'm taking her out tomorrow night."
Maribel shot her a pleased smile. "Wow, Honey, that's great! What's her name?"
Luckily Santana didn't have to make up a lie for this one. She remembered the gorgeous Blonde's name all too well, and she'd be lying if she said that the woman hadn't crossed her mind often since that night.
"Her name is Brittany."
After dinner, Maribel went home and Kurt went to "Study Group" (Which Santana was 97% sure code for a Grindr hookup), and Santana decided to actually give Brittany a call. She really did need to get out of the house, and she did promise the girl that she'd hear back from her.
After hovering above the "call" button under Brittany's blank contact photo for a few minutes, Santana finally scrounged up the lady balls to press the button. After two rings, the call picked up and a chirpy voice rang through the phone speakers.
"Hello?"
"Hey," Santana started, her stomach dropping. "Brittany? It's Santana, from The Monarch."
"Oh, hi, Santana!" Brittany said, sounding surprised. "I thought you had lost my number or something."
Santana started feeling a little guilty for not calling sooner. For some reason, she really didn't want to disappoint her.
"I'm so sorry about that, I had a family emergency, I swear I didn't make you wait on purpose." She rushed out into the speaker.
"Oh," Brittany breathed out, feeling relieved. "Well I hope everything's okay."
"It's fine now." She halfheartedly assured, picking at her fingernail. After a beat of silence, she realized that she called for a reason and that she should be talking.
"So-"
"I-"
They both let out breaths of laughter at talking over each other, breaking the ice.
"You go first." Brittany giggled. It was possibly the cutest giggle to grace Santana's ears. Telling herself to refocus, she got to the point.
"Okay, well, I- I guess I was wondering if you would wanna maybe go have dinner with me?" God, Santana thought after she voiced her question. You sound like a blubbering mess, get it together, Lopez!
"I would love to maybe go have dinner with you." Brittany teased with delight.
"Okay great, how does tomorrow sound?" Santana asked, smiling and flopping down onto the couch.
"Perfect."
Breadstix… The capital of mouth-watering Americanized Italian food sent from heaven. Santana pulled into the parking lot getting excited for both seeing Brittany and the chance to get her stix on.
Getting there a couple minutes early, she walked in and got a table and waters for Brittany and herself. She was playing around on her phone for a few minutes when she heard a familiar voice from above her.
"Hey, Santana." Brittany smiled down at her.
Sitting up straight, suddenly conscious of her posture, Santana returned the smile easily. The blonde looked just as stunning as she remembered. Stripped from the heavy club makeup, Brittany didn't lose any of her allure, and Santana would go as far to think that she looked better like this. The restaurant's bright lighting allowed her to trace out Brittany's appearance more clearly than in the darkened club. She looked beautiful, and it made Santana smile wider.
"Hi, Brittany, you look great." Santana replied, following Brittany's movements as she took her seat across from her. When brown eyes finally met blue ones, Santana's breath hitched as she took in the way this girl's irises seemingly held the universe.
Keeping her gaze, Brittany starts the conversation with a shy smile, her face tinted pink from Santana's neglected comment. "Breadstix, huh? I always drive past this place but I've never tried it before."
That tidbit of information broke Santana out of her eye trance, and she abruptly leaned forward in her seat.
"Wait- you've never had Breadstix?" She demanded loudly. Actually, very loudly based on all the heads in the restaurant turning to see what the commotion was. Jesus, Lopez, Santana thought to herself, rein it in! Luckily, her mini outburst only caused Brittany to giggle at her antics and shake her head no.
"Sorry," Santana continued sheepishly. "It's just that I can't believe you've never been here, it's basically heaven on earth."
"Well I guess I'll have to let you order for me then wont I?" Brittany couldn't help her amusement at Santana's sudden enthusiasm. It made her want to know all of Santana's passions, what else made her eyes light up like they did while gushing over her favorite restaurant.
"Breadsticks must be your favorite food, huh?" The blonde asked, trying not to smile too widely.
Her favorite food… Ever since she could remember, her favorite food had been her abuela's sopita de fideo. She remembered begging her to make it in the summertime, coming in sweaty from playing outside with the neighborhood kids and eating it for lunch. Santana wasn't about to get into that though, so she responded with a simple nod of her head.
Though she tried masking the heartache, a small frown marred her face as memories of warm soup invaded her mind. Brittany noticed, and steered the conversation in a different direction sensing she somehow struck a nerve with the simple question.
"So what do you do, Santana?"
Attempting to erase all remnants of her pout, Santana answered.
"I actually go to school for fashion. I graduate from Fashion Institute of San Fransisco this spring." Santana stated with a prideful smile. Brittany beamed at her confidence, and it made sense, both times she'd seen the girl she was dressed immaculately.
"Wow, that's really cool! What kind of fashion do you like to do best? Like styling or…?" Brittany asked, immersing every ounce of her attention into the brunette.
"I like to design, mostly ball gowns and wedding dresses," Santana replied, gesturing with her hands. "I guess you could say I'm like a young Mexican, Vera Wang." She chuckled.
Brittany laughed. She was already charmed by Santana's wit and her sweeping hand gestures and her cute little nose and dark wavy hair that she just wants to run her fingers through- But through the apparent passion she held for her work, she still sensed an underlying sadness under her expressions. The faraway looks she fell into between sentences told Brittany that something was weighing on her. Still, Brittany wasn't sure how to address it.
She was yanked out of her thoughts with a start as the waiter approached and asked if they were ready to order.
"You don't have any allergies do you?" Santana asked, turning to the blonde. When she shook her head no, her face became slightly blushed from Santana's mindfulness.
"Well," Santana continued with a subtle smirk. Her ability to affect Brittany washed her in confidence. "We'll have one Chicken Alfredo and one Classic Spaghetti n' Meatballs." She finished as she handed the waiter their folded menus.
"I love spaghetti and meatballs, how'd you know? Wait– are you a mind reader?" Brittany asked with a straight face.
"No…" Santana tried to stifle her amusement, but she knew her smile was beginning to sneak through. Thinking for a moment, she continued earnestly. "Although, I am known for my Mexican third eye."
Brittany flashed a smile bigger than any that Santana had witnessed yet. Usually, when Brittany would ask the outlandish questions and thoughts that popped up in her head, she'd get weird looks or hear whispers and taunts behind her back. Santana was happy to oblige if it resulted in the megawatt smile she was receiving.
"What about you, Brittany? What do you do?"
"I'm a video game streamer," Brittany stated, sussing out Santana's reaction. People had many different reactions when she told them what she did, so she prepared herself for the worst.
"Wait, so you like, make money by people watching you play video games?" She asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah, I love it," Brittany replied, wiping her palms on the tops of her thighs under the table.
"That's kinda cool. I didn't take you for a nerd, though." Santana teased playfully.
Brittany rolled her eyes, but her pleased smile crept through. Santana didn't make her feel ridiculed or stupid, even through her lighthearted taunt. Santana's presence was comforting.
They talked and ate and laughed until evening became night. Brittany almost choked on her water, laughing. Santana ate more than one too many breadsticks, but neither of them minded. They didn't want the night to end, so they agreed to share a slice of cheesecake for dessert. While they waited for their sweets, Brittany debated bringing up the wistful look that still hadn't disappeared completely. When she noticed her eyes unfocusing again, she decided to speak up.
"Hey, are you ok? Not that you haven't been great company tonight, but you seem kinda sad." Brittany punctuated with a pout.
"Oh, no, yeah, I'm fine." Santana rushed out, embarrassed that her gloomy mood was visible. "I just sort of had a family emergency a couple weeks ago. It's why I took so long to call."
"Is everything ok? I know we don't really know each other, but I'm here if you wanna talk about it."
Santana wasn't planning on sharing any of the fucked up events of her life tonight, but she felt like if she didn't voice it to someone soon, she'd explode. It was a hefty burden for one lone girl to carry. Still, she hesitated. She hadn't even expressed her feelings to her mother or best friend, let alone a girl she met 2 weeks ago.
Sensing her hesitation, Brittany reached for her hand across the table and smiled softly at Santana. "I'm kinda known for being a good listener. My cat Lord Tubbington described me as an 'essential dependant' to his therapist."
Not being able to help her smile, Santana let it grow slowly as she pushed out a breath of laughter. She guessed she could unpack the gist of what happened. How could she not when such an angelic being requested?
Taking a deep breath, she began, her hand still tucked warmly in Brittany's. "Well… my grandmother passed away on the first."
Brittany kept her eyes locked to Santana's, her gentle expression unwavering.
"I'm sorry that happened, Santana." She whispered, rubbing slow circles on the back of a tan hand with her thumb.
"It's alright. She lived a full life. She was 87 years old with a giant horde of kids and grandkids to show for it." Santana spoke with a reminiscent smile. "I know she was surrounded by family when she passed, so…."
"But not you?" Brittany breathed into the pause.
"Not me." She disclosed. "I hadn't spoken to her in almost 5 years. She disowned me my senior year of high school for being gay."
Brittany clasped her other hand around Santana's one and squeezed lightly. Santana had never spoken that to anyone besides Kurt.
"I remember the last thing she said to me like it was yesterday." Tears began to collect in the corners of Santana's big brown eyes. Brittany just squeezed tighter. "She said to me, 'If you chose not to meet me in heaven, I chose not to acknowledge you now.' After that, she told the rest of my family on my dad's side that I was a lesbian and advised them to avoid me as well. Some of them agreed but even the ones who didn't… it just wasn't the same anymore you know?"
Brittany nodded and opened her palm to allow Santana to play with her fingers, an action that Santana didn't realize she was doing.
"When I graduated, I moved from Texas to here, and I've never looked back. I still talk to a handful of my cousins, but I haven't heard a word from most of them. My tias and tios, my great aunt, my own dad," She continued, a quick tear falling down her face. "All gone. I've had them all my life, and now all of them hate me."
"And ever since I heard that I was banned from the funeral, I can't stop replaying her last words to me. She hated me so much, and now she's gone forever." She choked out.
Brittany stood up and slid into Santana's side of the booth, wrapping her in a tight embrace. She couldn't imagine her own family leaving her behind. They always encouraged her to be who she was, not punish her for it.
She didn't have any words for Santana. She simply held her close and rubbed slow circles on her back, hoping that her presence could provide any comfort to the girl. The brunette sank into the embrace and wiped the remaining tears away. She didn't mean to reveal so much information, but she couldn't stop once she started.
"Sorry to dump that on you. It was kind of a lot." She said after she pulled away from Brittany and collected herself.
"Don't apologize," The blonde commanded softly. "I'm just grateful that you trusted me enough to confide in me. Thank you."
They shared a smile, and the waiter came over with dessert. While they ate, Santana's thoughts didn't steer from her admission. She hadn't even told her ex, who she dated for half a year, any details of her family estrangement.
They ended the night on a lighter note and talked about Brittany's family. Stories of her kooky parents and her angsty teenage sister left them laughing over full bellies. After Santana insisted on taking the bill, "but I asked you out, that means It's the law that I have to pay," She walked Brittany to her car.
When they arrived at Brittany's blue Mini Cooper, which Santana couldn't help commenting on, They were left to say goodnight.
"I really had an amazing time tonight," Brittany stated, watching a stray piece of Santana's hair being tossed by the nighttime wind.
"Me too. I guess you're kinda cool, Blondie, even if you are a nerd." She grinned.
Rolling her eyes, she tucked the drifting lock of hair behind Santana's ear. It felt like silk in her hand, and the skin of her cheek was even softer. Brittany rested her hand on the brunette's cheek and leaned in. Santana gravitated toward her until they met with a sweet kiss, Santana's hands going to the taller girl's waist.
They broke apart, grinning like idiots, and Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany for a parting hug. Brittany returned it happily and sighed into her date's ear.
"I want you to be happy, Santana." She whispered. "You deserve to be happy."
Not wanting to cry again, Santana nodded her head against Brittany's and muttered a faint "thank you."
They bid each other goodnight, and Brittany watched as Santana crossed the parking lot to her car. The whole drive back to the apartment was spent mulling over thoughts of Santana. Her laugh, the way her hair smelled, even the somewhat concerning amount of bread she consumed made Brittany want to be with her again.