Song to listen to: Bella's theme.
Rain patters against the windowsill but i don't even see it. All I feel is pain, pain, pain. But the worst, is the pulling I feel, like a piece, a rather large piece is missing and I am incomplete. It pulls at me and it makes me sick.
Uncle Charlie is pouding up the stairs, looking inside the small spareroom I've made my home ion the past weeks. I was so excited at first. When I came back to Forks to visit Bella before her wedding. Bella had been my best friend during our childhood and so when she got married, I came back to Forks.
I still am not convinced about her boyfriend Edward, he makes me uncomfortable in a way I can't explain. I just don't feel completely at ease with him around.
-" Luce?" Uncle Charlie is still standing in the doorway but what he sees is exactly the same as yesterday. A girl with brown eyes and brown hair laying on her bed watching the walls of her room in endless staring.
I used to hate when they compared me to Bella. My hair is but slightly lighter than hers,but we had the telltale pale skin and brown eyes Swan women are known for. Whereas Bella was however seen as the girl next door they told me I had something innocent about my beauty, something pure, and sometimes, something vulnerable.
Was that perhaps that had made him come? I frown and close my eyes, tears coming back up. Charlie sighs, closes the door and then turns, back down the stairs.
-" I'm sorry, Sam, but Luce is not feeling well." My heart stutters at the name uttered by my uncle. Of course I would have guessed he would come. After he's blown up my phone and the landline of Charlie, how could he not ?
There seems to be a small struggle downstairs, a clearly spoken " Sorry charlie." and then new persons running up the stairs. I can hear the indignant " Hey!" from my uncle before the people stop at my door. I can almost feel them.
The door flies open and I tremble slightly as I look up. Sam stands in the doorway, surrounded by his friends, Paul, Quill, Embry, Jared, Jacob, they're all here.
-" Damn Luce." Paul swears. -" You look like someone has died." Sam turns and looks angrily at him but Paul just shrugs.
-" I don't want to speak to you, any of you." I whisper, tears already pooling in my eyes. I turn away, facing my wall, my back to the men standing in the doorway.
-" Luce." Someone tries, but I don't react to their cries. -" Luce,!" It's Sam's angry voice, and I can feel those around him flinch away.
-" Sam, she doesn't want to speak to us." Jared says, his voice slightly pained. I've had enough of it. -" Please.." I whisper, my voice soft and broken. " Please, I...Just leave."
-" I think you heard her." Uncle Charlie says. -" You've done enough, Sam. I think it's best if you leave." Sam is having none of it. -" With all my respect Charlie, I'm not leaving until she speaks to me." I am tired and I am getting angry.
-" Oh, for fucks sake!" I screech, throwing my much loved books across the room and nearly hitting Embry and Jacob in the face. -" What don't you get in : I don't want to see you. You've played me long enough! It was very funny, haha, now go!"
-" Will you for once, just damn listen!" My mouth shuts from it's own accord, my eyes turning wide. Everyone around Sam, including Charlie back away slightly. Clearly this is the first time they have seen him this angry since a long time.
-" Sam. " The voice that comes from behind him is soft, gentle. -" Let me speak to her.'' The man in question is still breathing heavily, angrily, eyes dark with rage. Then a russet-coloured hand, wearing a huge ring descends on Sams shoulder. Beside him appears a young woman.
She must be around his age, perhaps a little younger. She is – even though she had scars on her face - very beautiful. I have an inkling of who she is but I am not looking forward to her revelations. -" Luce, I am Emily."
My lip trembles and tears start pouring over my cheeks like waterfalls. I squeeze my eyes shut and loose myself in memories.
Me, hugging Bella and congratulating her with her wedding. Me, meeting Edward and feeling uncomfortable with him. Me meeting Jacob and his gang.
But most off all.. Me on the beach in La Push, looking through a book of greenery and scenery. A man, dominant, strong, scary, about 25, looking at me with such intensity I hid behind my hair. Said man approaching surely, interrupting the game of football they were playing to introduce himself as Sam Uley.
Meeting Sam in the grocery store, helping me unpack, Sam and Paul following me as I hike through the woods and I spot a large grey wolf, trying to take a picture.
Me slipping down, nearly on my face and Sam catching me, hand on my back.
A beautiful clearing with sunlight, the light twinkling and me taking hours to find the perfect shot for a picture. Embry whining n the background while Sam silenced them with one look and waite while I took my pictures.
A bonfire, with everyone. Laughter, games.. Feeling like a lovesick child and lauhing at myself in my bed at night while I whispered his name.
Realizing I was in love but not saying anything for fear of spoiling it.
A small fire made of but a few branches. A glass in my hands and Sam Uley's eyes flickering like liquid earth. A single breathe and warm arms around me, a press of lips, insistent and warm. Hands folding in my hair and holding while the glass in my hands falls to pieces.
And then painful, insistant memories. Me, walking along the road to first beach with a silly grin on my face, then seeing Sam Uley and a gorgeous blackhaired woman laughing and holding each other and then holding her face and peppering kisses everywhere before kissing her really long and deep; nothing like the kiss I shared. Mine was hurried, warm. Hers is loving ,gentle, deep and passionate .
One of my friends telling me that the girl is his fiancée and my heart breaking into a million pieces.
Sitting on a small log at the beginning of the woods and watching nothing as my phone keeps buzzing, blowing up with texts and calls. Sam's voice behind me, demanding why I didn't show up. Angry, worried and I start snarling back. He doesn't understand.
He tries to calm me down, holds onto my wrist. -" Calm down!" He nearly snarls but I am gone and I'm crying. " Liar! Liar! Liar!" I scream, tears starting to pour down my cheeks. -" You're engaged! Liar! You played me!"
The others behind him flinch, but he does not, he only stands and tries to speak over my voice. -" Luce, let me explain."
- " No! " I'm screaming, getting angrier and angrier.
-" What's this?" Charlie's voice, angry. " Let go of her this instant." Uncle Charlie stepping up to Sam as he lets go and I sit on my knees, crying.
-" Go!" Uncle Charlie spits. " I don't want to see any of you here again." And i cry and I cry and I stay in my room, ignoring the call of everyone, ignoring Sam's texts. But it is a void inside I cannot get over.
But apparently fate has a shitty way of dealing with me, because even now, they can't leave me.
Sam and Charlie are by now trading insults. -" Sam!" Emily snaps and turns to the man who shuts up immediately. -" All of you out, now. " They look at her dumbfounded but she is up and about and slams the door in their face.
I wait for a hit, a snarl, an insult, her calling me a whore, but she doesn't. Instead I flinch when her hand, cold but soft, touches my cheek.
-" My, you really are as beautiful, like Sam aid." She whispers. I am stupified. Here I thought that she would hit me, insult me, anything, but she's being really kind. -" Don't you hate me?" I ask, tears drying now.-" I... kissed your fiancee. How can you not hate me? How can you not when I hate myself so much for it."
-"Oh, sweetie." Emily says. " you think I didn't know he kissed you?" I nearly get whiplash by how quickly my head turns up. -" Sam told me after the night was done. He told me all about your dates too."
" D...Date? We went on date?" I frown now, stupified.
-" You really tihnk he would spend hours with you in the woods, bring you drinks and food if it was not a date?" I look at her, her beautiful face and realise to my utter dismay I feel attracted to this woman. In more ways then one. I push it down harshly, . " You're not angry?"
Emily sighs. -"Angry that he did not tell me before ,yes. Angry he kept you in the dark, yes. Angry that he kissed you? No. You see, though me and Sam are exclusive, we talked about a sitution. You know, it's not the frist time that someone shares a wife/husband or a woman/man. Some of our chiefs had several wives at the same time.
It is even said that in some cases the wives loved each other same way as they did their husband. And in this case, I think it should not be seen as a punishment, but a gift.
Sam came to me immediately when he first met you. He..he felt so much towards you from your first meeting, that we agreed to try and see if it worked out. ''
-''You love him, don't you?" she says. And I can't help but nod. " Well,then, why should you give up what you want? Sam has always talked about the possibility of falling in love with another and I don't mind because I know he loves infinitely. It is unexpected, this situation, but not unwelcome. And with fate willing, perhaps you will come to like me as much as I already am liking you. "
Emily smiles. -" I must admit ,you're very endearing and they're is an attraction there from my side. But I would like to know what you feel.'' I sigh. -" It's definitely there, an attraction to you as well.'' I say .
-" Well then." Emily smiles. " That's solved than. I will tell Sam to back off so you have time to think. Think about my offer and when you have decided you're welcome.'' And with that, she's gone.
She opens te door, faces the pack of wolves as if she's just not shut the door in their face. " We're leaving.'' And they all do.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
Time passes, and I'm not sure what to think of the conversation I have. Though Emily said Sam would back off - they have not been to visit me - I can't help but feel as if I'm beign watched.
Even poor uncle Charlie gets angry with my moping. So when I have turned over every thought in my head five or six times and can find no reason to not consider it, I decide to take action.
I push my hair up into a messy bun, put on a pair of loose dark jeans, a sweater and a short coat. On my feet are thick fluffy socks and slippes with open toe and fake fur , the kind you wear inside the ohuse. My beat up car sputters as I urge it to drive faster, away from Forks and to La Push.
My car stands still outside the house, yet I don't dare to move. My hands grip the steering wheel before I sigh and step out, marching up to the porch. I knock on the door, not surprised when it's Quil who opens.
-" Oh, Luce! How are you ?" I feel my heart getting erratic so I breathe deep before I lose my nerve. -" I..I need to speak to Sam and Emily." I ground out. -" Erhm...'' Quill is clearly searching what to say and then an apologetic look crosses his face. -'' We're kind of in the middle of something? " His voice is not unkind but I understand i'm not welcome.
-" You're right." I say, feeling my courage dwindle. -" I should not have come uninvited. So stupid of me. I'm sorry. Forget what I said, please don't tell them I was here." I can feel my courage retreating and I know I will not be back a second time. I will not allow myself. I am after all to much of a scaredy cat to attempt anything.
Quil opens his mouth to say something else but I'm alread turning away. -" Quil." Sam's voice makes me feel warm all over. He's standing beside Quil when his eyes focus on me. -" Luce." He seems slightly surprised.
-''I'm sorry.'' I ramble. " Quil told me you were busy and like always I came uninvited. I'm sorry, just, please forget I was here, I don't want to.."
But he merely shakes his head and steps aside. -" Come in." I nod, clear my throat and enter into the house. I'm greeted with a cheer of hello's, so I wave back.
When Emily sees me she seems also slightly surprised but in a good way. '-'You want to sit with me? Sam is nearly done with the boys.''
I nod and sit at their table. About 15 minutes later there is movement in the living room and the pack is cleared out in no time.
Both Emily and Sam sit down in front of me, next to each other, not hugging or hanging on to each other, but eyes both trained on me.
I squeeze the mug in my hands tight and then speak up. - " You gave me time to think." I begin. Emily nods. -" And I can't tell you how grateful I am for respecting my need of space. I know I probably overreacted, but...it's the first time something like this happened to me.''
-" The thing is.." I start.
" I like you Emily, I'm in love with you, Sam, that I won't deny." I say, looking up at both of them.
Where I'm from, these kind of situations are frowned upon. But I am not home, and I doubt I will stay where I currently live long. so I am willing to try and figure out where this goes, but at a pace that fits everyone."
-" A reasonable request.'' Sam says. Emily looks up at me. '' what about we not label what we feel already as a relationship, but first see where it goes? Once we are certain, we can make it official. It would give us time to get to know each other better and to go on dates with the three of us and each alone so that we learn every aspect of each other.'' I smile happily.
-'' For me that's okay, I would like to try like that.'' Sam gives his assent as well. '' Good.'' Emily says, than points at my cup. " Now drink your coffee.'' Sam nods and pats my arm.
I smile, obliging happily, warmth from not only the coffee filling me.
A/N: Some of the history of the tribes stories will be slightly altered for my story. Some of this info will not be canon.