"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Master/Servant Conversation"

Noble Phantasm/Norito

Chapter 1: Aliens, Humans…and a daemon.

Sahashi Takiami was having a somewhat stressful day.

First of all there had been a break out at the lab, Zero-Seven had escaped and no one could seem to find her. Ordinarily she would have been straight into MBI headquarters and start ringing people for answers.

However her plans to waylay someone's career had been halted when she received a call about a couple of recent passengers who had somehow entered the airport and managed to bypass the MBI identification system that they had installed. If she couldn't ruin some clowns day at MBI, should could ruin some clowns day elsewhere.

Bringing along Karasuba was simply because the woman wanted to cut up some hapless oaf.

She picked up the file that had been sent about the two who had been detained. Emiya Shirou, Age: 20, Height: 180cm, Nationality: Japanese.

She looked at the second one… then did a double take, her mouth curling into a disbelieving frown "What the hell kind of name is that!?"

Emiya Shirou was having a not good, very bad, horrible day.

He'd been on this world nearly a week.

Another of Zelretch's 'Wanna be a Hero? Go help some people in this random world somewhere!' scenarios.

Ordinarily, and due to past experience, Shirou would have had very little problems with this. More often than not the Wizard Marshall would provide him with a brief rundown, where to go and who to save and that would be it.

This time though things had been weird.

All the Wizard Marshall had said was 'You've got experience with this sort of thing.' then sent him off with an identity card and some money.

There was very little out of the ordinary… except for one.

"Hey, I told you we'd get stopped."

Little…

"I mean, its kinda obvious really."

Thing.

"You do look like a terrorist. Maybe its your dopey face or those nasty eyes you got." His travelling partner chimed in, continuing to throw insults at him and make the situation worse.

The only reason Shirou hadn't killed the thing next to him was because it would likely boil down to a fight which would involve a great deal of civilians. That and the Wizard Marshall had said he would re-summon the person as many times as necessary… also he would turn Shirou into a newt. He didn't know if he could do that but he didn't want to risk it.

Eventually Shirou's patience began to snap "Can't you be quiet for a few minutes." Less a request and more a demand, this only seemed to birth a wide grin on his travelling partner.

"Ah!" He cackled "He speaks!" then cracked his neck a multitude of times which would have been unnatural for a human "But I'm so bored here! You're bored too aren't you? Cooped up in this room, not saving anyone! Its a real tragedy… in fact it gets me right here." he mockingly put a fist over his heart.

"You just had to tell them your name, didn't you?" Shirou scowled and looked away, the moment that the identification had failed they had been asked to recite the basic information that one would expect to give when asked to confirm their identity at an Airport.

He initially had no idea why Zelretch dropped him off in Iran, gave him an old iron chain and told him to summon someone...until he actually summoned them and the two very nearly killed eachother until the old vampire reappeared and chastised the pair of them.

The pair received their new passports, told to get on a plane and fly to Shinto Teito, apparently it was this version of Japan's Tokyo, and that their mission was there. His partner completely couldn't be bothered but tagged along because he 'thought it would be funny to watch the Hero of Justice fail to save anyone.'

"Isn't that what you're meant to do though?" His Servant gave him a mocking smirk "Its not my fault the guy didn't believe me."

"You said, to his face, that you were an evil God from Zoroastrianism!"

"But I am!" Angra Maniyu whined "He asked me to be truthful!"

"He meant for you to read the name on your card… in fact what is the name on your card?" Shirou hadn't actually asked that, the airport in Iran didn't question it although Avenger seemed to sour his face when he brought it up.

"Emiya Kuro." He answered. Shirou felt his own face sour, and his lips curled in disgust. At this point his face was a perfect match for the Servant sitting just to his left, in both appearance and emotion.

"I'm not calling you that."

"Good. I'm not calling you 'Onii-chan' either...prick."

"Asshole."

The two sneered at each other then turned away in a huff. They had been detained and forced to wait for nearly an hour.

When the door to the room finally opened the pair turned to see two women enter, a somewhat short white haired woman in an MBI uniform and a slightly taller grey haired woman with a somewhat lazy expression trailing behind her.

Although what set both Shirou and Avenger off was what she was carrying… a sheathed sword. Shirou instantly had to reaffirm his senses. The woman absolutely wreaked of blood, quite a disgusting amount which had forced Shirou to mask his features at to avoid gagging.

"Fucking hell." Avenger gasped out beside Shirou "You're a real piece of work aren't you?" he chuckled "You got those nasty eyes that say you want to gut me like a fish just for breathing the same air as you."

Shirou palmed his face, the woman in the MBI coat stared at Avenger with something akin to shock and confusion. The creature in the corner simply blinked before raising an amused eyebrow.

Shirou decided to clear his throat to try and divert the conversation away from whatever direction it was heading "I assume you're here about the mechanical error?"

The woman blinked a few times then sent Shirou a rather pointed scowl "Yeah." she scoffed "'Mechanical error' cut the crap, of all the company spies I've seen you have got to be the worst ever."

"...Eh?" Avenger blinked and stared at the woman "Shit, I'm being accused of things I haven't even done. Must be one of those days."

Shirou frowned, and sent Avenger a pointed glare to which the Servant smirked and rolled his eyes, before turning back to the woman "I believe there had been a misunderstanding." he gestured to himself and his companion "We're simply here to visit, not spy on anyone." he answered as truthfully as he could, he hadn't even been in this world long enough to get employed.

"Sure…." The woman made sure to draw out the 'r's, she sent a quick glance to the creature in the corner, whose hand now travelled down to her sword "How about we start getting truthful here, either you tell me why you're really here or…" there was a clink as a blade was beginning to be pulled from a sheath "You tell my associate here."

Shirou gave a quick glance between the two, the thing clearly wasn't human and he had no ideal if it was as strong as an average ghoul or a full fledged dead apostle. Avenger would be no help, that asshole would rather see Shirou die before he lifted a finger to save his life.

"Sahashi-san!" The group were interrupted when a rather frazzled man burst into the room "Sahas-EK!" he then paled and sputtered when he came face to face with the as of yet unidentified creature.

The name named Sahashi sighed before she turned to the guy "What?" the man seemed to compose himself, albeit slightly, before turning to her.

"I-Its a mistake on the system, Haruto-san spilt coffee on the machine, that's why their identity didn't go through…" You could hear a pin drop after his announcement, Sahashi looked like she wanted to vaporise the man with her eyes, the creature was doing her best not to laugh.

"Pfffft." Something Avenger was failing miserably at, much to Shirou's irritation, "Y-you...hahahaha! You nearly killed us over a spilled cup of coffee! Hahahaha!"

Shirou pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, when the woman turned her gaze back on the pair all Shirou could manage was an awkward smile and a shrug of the shoulders.

"No hard feelings from us?"

"I take everything back, Master." Avenger still cackled, even after they had long left the Airport "Best trip ever, lets go again."

"That woman in there…" Shirou ignored him and frowned in thought, Avenger stopped laughing and gave a lazy smile.

"Yeah…" He replied "Don't know what she was but she wasn't human, weren't exactly a Servant but definitely weren't human. Maybe she was an alien…"

"Don't joke about that." Shirou sent a glare his way, the 'TYPE's were nothing to scoff at and were horrifying to deal with even with the most experienced of magi.

"Fine, fine…" Avenger lazily waved him off "Think this is why gramps sent us here?"

Shirou shrugged as the pair walked down the street, it had been nearly a half hour after they left the Airport and Avenger had only just stopped laughing about their near death encounter. It was about as much as Shirou could expect from the Servant, however his attempts at blending in were…

Less than ideal…

"As good a guess as any as to why we're here, also how long are you gonna wear that?"

"Huh?" Avenger blinked at him, then looked at his outfit "Why? What's wrong with it?"

Shirou raised an eyebrow, a plain pair of trousers and a T-shirt that said 'No tears please, its a waste of good suffering' wasn't exactly blending in along with his tan skin and black tattoos and red bandana. Shirou scowled "You know exactly what's wrong with it."

"I like it." Avenger shrugged "Its a good quote."

"You would think so, wouldn't you." He shook his head "We need to find a place to stay, a job and then whatever is so important in this city that Zel-" he was cut off when a girl in a shrine outfit went speeding past the pair at inhuman speeds while dragging a boy behind them.

The pair stared in confusion for a few moments before Angra delicately surmised the situation "What the fuck?" before Shirou could answer, a pair of twins went running past while wearing the most risqué outfits Shirou had ever seen since, leather which barely concealed anything, while throwing bolts of lighting at the feeling girl and boy.

"Hey, Master." Angra chimed in "I think we found the problem."

"Shut up." Shirou shook his head "We're following them."

"Do we have to? It was a very long flight, my feet are sore." Avenger whined, Shirou ignored him and followed after the group. If one of those stray bolts hit someone they'd probably be seriously injured or die, Shirou was not about to let lives be put at risk over this, whatever it was.

"You're pretty slow, aren't you?" Shirou turned to see Avenger had caught up to him and was doing the equivalent of a brisk jog compared to Shirous full fledged run "Seriously, how many are gonna die because you couldn't spend a few more hours on a treadmill or somethin. Pretty shitty hero, ain't ya?"

"You're free to help." Shirou retorted, still navigating his way through the crowds. A feat which was far easier given the people were quite literally diving out of the way to avoid the flying electricity.

"I mean, yeah… but my feet." He lazily gestured to his feet while he was still running alongside Shirou. It quickly became obvious that receiving help from this guy was going to be absolutely useless "Besides, I'm the weakest Servant… what do you want me to do?"

"You're still at least ten times stronger than the average human being!" Shirou blurted out while scowling "And a lot faster than I am, at least stall them for me!"

"I mean… I could, but I feel like your version of stalling them is different to mine." Avenger coolly retorted "Mine is more akin to dismemberment."

Shirou sighed "Fine. Just… just follow and track them and report back to me." he began to slow down, Avenger stopped next to him and gave a smirk and an exaggerated salute.

"Yes, sir. Master, sir!" he waddled off into an alleyway and went into his spiritual form. Shirou hated that guy.

"Awww… I hate you too, Master." He heard Avengers voice in his head and realised his thoughts weren't as private as he intended them to be.

"I'm looking over the note Zelretch left us." He replied back to him "I'll let you know what it says. Track them, let me know what happens but don't intervene!"

"Sure, sure… I know how to be a good little dog." Shirou felt the connection cut as he reached into his wallet, he withdrew a small folded up note addressed to him.

He briefly gave it a once over, then raised an eyebrow,

"Izumo Inn?" He muttered to himself, why did Zelretch recommend staying there? He sighed and shook his head, this place was weird and his only available ally was the absolute bane of his life but also responsible for it in a twisted way.

Archer was right.

He really did have E rank luck.

Avenger was incorporeal as he followed the twins pursuit of the boy and the girl, however the speeds they were travelling were quite impressive. Even compared to his A-rank speed he was having to accelerate quite a bit to keep up with the girl in the shrine gear. Not a lot, but far more than if he were chasing a human.

He turned around and noticed the lightning twins had been lost by the pair, Avenger still kept pace with them though. He needed info, or rather his Master needed info. Angra was still fine with co-operating for the time being though.

He'd never killed aliens before, and dammit it all, he bet they were aliens!

Maybe the opportunity would arise.

'Oh?' He thought to himself, the boy and the girl disappearing into a housing estate 'Guess someone is excited…'

"Master, the groups have split off. Why do I follow?"

"...The boy and the girl."

"Thats good, because I lost track of the twins."

"How did you manage that?" His Masters voice sounded resigned, good. He hated that guy as much as that guy hated him.

"I was following the other pair."

"Great…"

Shirou followed the directions he had been given they led him to a house in a the urban side of the city. Reading a sign out on the front saying 'Izumo Inn' he then looked at the rent.

He scratched his head, it wasn't too bad and Zelretch had given him enough money to live for at least a month, although he would need a job.

Perhaps some repair work, he was good at that.

"Um, excuse me?" Shirou blinked as he realised someone was talking to him, he turned and immediately narrowed his eyes. Blood. The woman in front of him smelt of it in waves, a pungent smell he hadn't encountered since that thing at the airport "Can I help you with something?"

Shirou realised he hadn't been paying attention, he smiled and nodded his head "I was curious, I'm a recent arrival to the city and don't have anywhere to stay." he gestured to the sign "You don't happen to be in need of new tenants do you?"

"Oh, of course." The thing in front of him gave a welcoming smile "My name is Asama Miya, I am the owner of the Inn. My husband was never one to turn away those in need of help."

Shirou smiled in response "He sounds like a good man."

"He was." Her smile became wistful, Shirou immediately realised his mistake.

"My condolences." She waved him off.

"Think nothing of it, it happened years ago." She shook her head and refocused her attention on him "Would you like to come in? We can sort out the details later."

"Of course." He nodded, still tense about the creature in front of him, however he knew Zelretch, despite all his personality gimmicks, wouldn't send him to his death so easily. "Avenger, I want you to make your way to where I am. Found the Inn and another of the creatures."

"Sure, sure. I'll be there in a jiffy… try not to die? I want to be there when you eventually keel over."

"Bastard."

"Loser."

Shirou followed the woman into the Inn, they walked through to a main room at which point Miya gestured for Shirou to take a seat on the floor.

"How long do you believe you will be staying?" She began as she seated herself opposite him.

"Hopefully not longer than a few months." Shirou replied "Myself and my travelling companion recently moved here and are without work, I only intend to remain for as long as is necessary."

Miya nodded "Where is your companion?"

"I sent him a message earlier, he should arrive soon."

"I see. Before I consider allowing you to stay, I need to know if you are capable of paying this weeks rent, or are able to find a job."

Shirou nodded "I will be able to pay for the next few weeks of rent, as far as jobs go I intend to begin a search as soon as possible."

"That's good." She nodded, a small smile on her face "I will also go over the expected rules of the Izumo Household."

"Naturally."

"There is no violence, no lewd acts to be allowed and use of payment via MBI allocated money is prohibited."

"Sounds fair to me." Shirou hummed in thought, that last one sounded slightly personal but he wouldn't pry into it. "I'll make sure to let my companion know."

"Excellent." She smiled then blinked in realisation "I haven't asked for your name yet, have I?"

"No. My name is Emiya Shirou, my companion is…" Shirou did his best to avoid gritting his teeth, it was the name written on his legal identification "Emiya...Kuro."

"I see, I trust I need not remind you about lewd acts?"

Shirou blinked in confusion.

Then in realisation.

Then grimaced in a level of disgust which caught Miya off-guard.

"We're not like that. It is a relation that neither of us are pleased with." There was a knock at the door, Shirou and Miya turned their heads towards the far end of the house "That'll probably be him now."

Miya nodded "Please wait here, I'll get him."

Angra stood by the front door, this place was quaint enough. Looked big. He kept tapping his foot, Emiya had told him to knock on the door to be polite to their new landlord.

Angra couldn't give a damn, but he knew Emiya would kick up a fuss, and that ass was just looking for an excuse to try and cut him up. Pissing him off without ending up dead was fine though, it was kind of funny.

The door opened and Angra came face to face with the presumed landlord. A light skinned woman, slightly shorter than him with long purple hair, a rather generous chest, and wearing the outfit of a Miko. That made Angra blink.

"I haven't stumbled onto a Shrine by mistake or somethin have I?" He asked the woman, a slightly raised eyebrow and an amused smile were his response "Because my spiritual karma or whatever crap you guys dabble in is pretty terrible."

"Emiya Kuro, I presume?" She said with a smile, then widened her eyes in surprise as Avenger's face morphed into an identical look of disgust which Shirou had worn.

"I see he's here then…" He muttered "Also… don't call me that, seriously, please, I'm begging you, don't."

"Kuro-san then." Avenger clicked his tongue.

"Yeah, that'll do. Or Angra Mainyu! That's a better one!" He grinned as he said that last bit, the woman remained motionless as she stared at him.

"Come on in, Kuro-san."

"Dammit!" He whined as he stepped into the house "It's my name, no one ever uses my real name! It's a conspiracy I tell you!"

"Shut up, Angra." Shirou's voice echoed down the hallway.

"Why is it the only one who calls me my name is you?"

"Because the idea of sharing the same name as you absolutely disgusts me."

"Damn… If I had a heart it would probably be broken…"

"I was explaining to your companion, Kuro-san…" Miya brought the attention of Avenger to her "...But I must tell you that there is no violence allowed in the Izumo household...I trust there will be no issues with this?" she closed her eyes and smiled at him.

"Yeah, yeah…" Angra nonchalantly waved her off "I won't be starting nothing…"

"Yo! Miya?" Another voice echoed throughout the house from the second floor "Am I hearing new voices or something?"

Angra turned to the stair case, another woman came walking down the stairs in nothing but her lingerie.

Avenger blinked, then shouted down the hallway to Shirou "I told you I didn't need to wear these clothes!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Shirou replied, frowning as he reappeared and was walking towards Angra.

"I mean…" He gestured to the girl on the staircase "No one else is!"

"What do you-eeep!" Shirou blushed an immediately turned away from the girl, his back now firmly directed towards the trio "Wha-what happened to no lewdness, Asama-san?"

"Please, call me Miya." The woman replied, before frowning and turning to the girl on the staircase "Uzume...I believe I have told you about decency before. You are setting a poor example for our new tenants."

"Eh? It's fine though, isn't it?" Uzme shrugged "I'm not completely naked, besides we're gonna be living with these guys anyway."

"Meh." Angra shrugged "I won't complain abou-Oi!" he winced as Shirou struck the back of his head, it wasn't a reinforced fist however it was more the shock of actually being struck.

"U-zu-me." Miya punctuated, the girl sighed and disappeared back up the stairs.

Shirou shook his head and turned back to Miya "Are there any other tenants we should be made aware of?"

"Kagari-san is also living here, however he is at work at the moment." Miya smiled "I suspect he might find relief in no longer being the only male in the house."

Shirou raised a mental eyebrow, his nose was telling him that there was someone else in this household, a smell that vaguely reminded him of copper wires or electrical goods. Rather peculiar but if Miya didn't want to elaborate then he wouldn't pry just yet.

"I will show you two to your rooms." Miya turned away "Please follow me."

Shirou and Avenger trailed after her as she led them through the houses first floor "Room's one-zero-three and room one-zero-four" she gestured to them. Shirou and Anrga entered their respective rooms and had a brief look around.

They were rather spartan in design, very little in the way of furniture outside a futon on the floor.

"I trust there are no complaints?" Miya asked.

"Well, to be honest with y-" Angra was cut off when Shirou placed a rather firm hand on his shoulder "Nope, got nothing to say. Great rooms!" he said rather over enthusiastically.

"Thank you." Shirou nodded to them woman "I… I don't suppose you need any help around the house?"

"Here we go…" Angra muttered under his breath.

"I wouldn't want to impose upon you." Miya frowned, Shirou shook his head.

"It's no concern. To be honest I feel strange if I'm not actually doing anything, I used to do the housework at home…"

"Well…" Miya hummed in thought "If you insist, I could do with a hand when it comes to cleaning."

"Thank you, very much." Shirou smiled at her.

"I'll take my leave of you." Miya smiled and walked away, Shirou and Avenger watched her leave before Shirou gestured for the Servant to join him in his room.

"Seriously, such a goody-two-shoes aren't you?" Angra smirked at the guy "I'm supposed to be the Servant yet you seem more at home doing menial tasks… guess you are an idiot."

Shirou scowled "Be quiet. You're going out tomorrow while I search for a job."

Angra blinked "I am?"

"Yes." Shirou scowled "You need to keep an eye on that kid you were following. You know where he is and right now I'm not too sure he's safe."

"Why don't you do it then?" Avenger grimaced "I don't give a shit about the kid."

"I can't sneak around like you can." Shirou crossed his arms and frowned "Besides. I need to find myself a job, unless you'd rather do something that involves daily interaction with people?"

"Fine, fine… I'll find the kid tomorrow… what do I do if he's getting attacked again?"

"If he's in serious danger then intervene… no killing though, I don't need you starting massacres in the streets."

"You make me sound like some kind of bloodthirsty psycho."

"...I'm not going to dignify that with an answer." Shirou frowned at him and turned away "I also expect you to maintain a level of rationality when interacting with the other tenants of the house."

Avenger put up his hands in mock surrender "Don't need to worry about me, chief! I am the very personification of friendliness…"

"I'm being serious."

"So am I. I won't be starting fights with them if they don't start fights with me." Avenger smirked "I know how much you hate violence when it isn't directed at me."

"Just… Just get out already."

"Yeah, yeah." Angra waved him off as he left the room "Your wish is my command, 'Master'."

Shirou pinched the bridge of his nose.

He really hated that guy.

AN: Well…

Noticed that there aren't too many fics of Shirou and Angra Mainyu… So I figured… Hey! Lets have them work together!

Also… yeah… Sekirei…

I'm in for it now…

As far as upload schedule goes?

I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you.