Toni slings an overstuffed backpack on her shoulder with all her belongings. Her hair is pulled back in a tight ponytail, and she has a split lip, which is starting to bruise on her mouth.
She stuffs one last Hopewell Lake Basketball t-shirt into a drawstring bag, chewing the inside of her mouth, holding back any sort of emotion.
A foster care agent stands in the now-empty bedroom.
Toni rolls her shoulders back, her face hardening and she walks out of the room with her two bags of everything she owns. At 17, the bags shouldn't be this small, but she's lost too many items in between foster homes that she stopped getting anything new.
She walks out of the house and right into the arms of Martha.
Marty. Her best friend.
Her best friend that she's leaving.
She feels Martha's tight squeeze on her shoulders, and hears her small whimpers. Toni sniffs, knowing Martha's crying will set her off.
"I'm so sorry, Marty." Toni apologizes, almost embarrassed.
Marty shakes her head, "No, this is better for you."
"Not for us," Toni says, her walls going back up, trying to protect her from the hurt she's feeling.
"Fort Travis is only an hour away," Martha says, trying to cheer both of them up.
Toni scoffs. Marty and her were inseparable at their high school together. But ever since the new placement, Toni's been pulling back. Trying to soften the blow to Martha. Knowing one day it would end like this.
Martha's family isn't rich, and there's no way they are driving two hours roundtrip to say hi. They just can't afford it. Martha's mom is a nurse pulling double shifts all the time. Martha also gets carsick if the ride is too long.
"Well…" Martha tries to cover, "maybe my mom can get transferred?"
Toni pulls her into another tight hug. She hears the footsteps of the agent, and she nuzzles her head into Martha's shoulder, almost as if she's trying to hide.
Martha steps back first, knowing Toni, for once, won't have the strength. Their hands still interlocked.
Toni takes a deep, but shaky breath.
"It's time, Toni," the agent whispers.
Toni doesn't look at the agent, won't break her eye contact with Martha.
"Thank you." Toni chokes out. Knowing how good of a friend Martha has been to her, always there to calm her down, tell a funny, but oh-so-corny joke, or late night movies with double chocolate chip ice cream.
She knows its ending.
"Not goodbye. Just see ya later," Martha offers.
Toni nods, looks down at her feet and turns on her heels. She shoves her two bags into the backseat and slams the car door. Hard.
In the car, Toni's knee bounces with nervous energy. They drive away, and she watches Martha wave in the side view mirror. Probably the last time she'll see her. Everyone pulls away, eventually.
She aggressively scrolls through her feed, not really even paying attention to any of the pictures, until she passes a post of Martha with her dogs.
The agent looks over at Toni, checking in. She notices how her leg stopped moving.
"The Goodkinds are a first-time foster family—"
This gets Toni's attention, breaking her train of thought of Martha. She looks over to the agent and raises her eyebrow.
"And they got me? We should bring condolence flowers or something."
"They picked you." the agent responds.
Toni's knee resumes bouncing. That's worse, she thinks. She thinks of all the expectations she now has to meet. If they wanted her, there's something wrong with them. There has to be something wrong with them? Or, there's something they want from her.
She ponders on that for a while, the car goes across many highways. Townhouses flash by, and the neighborhood seems to get better. Richer, as time passes.
After an hour, the agent turns onto a residential street, the houses are so big there's only 5 that fit on the block. The car slows, and Toni sees it. In the front yard.
An all-blonde family stands outside an elegant, two-story house waiting to greet Toni. The yard doesn't have a white-picket fence, but that's because Dave Goodkind doesn't believe in borders.
To Toni, the house is like a suburban castle. There are more windows than she can count, a four car garage, a basketball hoop, a trampoline in the backyard, and its accompanied by their own swing set.
The family of five stands in their pastel colors, Dave and Jobeth hand in hand in blue and pink, respectively, a little girl in pigtails with lavender overalls, an older boy in a green polo and khakis, and a blonde teenager with straight, long hair, a face full of makeup—not that it's a bad look on her, because it is absolutely not—wearing a yellow floral summer dress.
They all wave as the car pulls in, their smiles are bright white, and it's a little unsettling. Toni takes a deep breath.
"This is the best family we've had on our docket," the agent reveals. Although, Toni's not sure if that's a compliment or a complaint, as they're wasting it on someone like her.
Toni pops the door open and squints, the sun bearing down, it's almost blinding. She grabs her bags from the backseat and hauls them over her shoulder, but not for long as the younger boy almost races to her, asking to take her bags.
"Excuse me, Antonia, I can take those for you." Spencer insists.
"Toni." She responds. "It's Toni."
Dave laughs, and Toni can't tell if it's welcoming or concerning, as he walks up to her.
"Toni it is. It is a real pleasure to meet you and invite you into our family. I'm Dave, and this here is my beautiful wife Jobeth, who makes a mean meatball sandwich," he leans in as he speaks. "Spencer is very eager to impress, as you can tell. Melody… well, she's just happy to be anywhere."
Dave and Toni look over at Melody who is just doing cartwheels in the yard. Then her eyes shift to the teenager who is waiting nearby, but knowing not to intrude and overwhelm.
"And I can't say she's my favorite, because God wants me to love all my children equally, but this…" He holds his arm out, like he's showing off his prized possession, "This is my Shelby." Shelby comes towards them, and with a wide smile, and an outstretched, manicured hand.
Toni looks at it like a foreign object.
"Handshake?" Shelby offers. Toni's eyes flick up to meet Shelby's for the first time. She blinks hard twice, grounding herself back into reality and shakes Shelby's hand. Their hands touch, and Shelby's eyes look back up at her, Toni sucks in a quick breath and then drops Shelby's hand.
"Sorry, I've just never had a welcoming committee like this," Toni says, immediately regretting it. She doesn't want them to know about her past. To mess this up. She looks over at the agent who nods her head in approval.
"And what a wonderful first impression this is, Mr. Goodkind." the agent covers, Toni offers her a small smile.
Dave's eyes fall onto Toni's split lip, and it's accompanying purple bruise.
Toni opens her mouth, trying to think of what to say, but he cuts her off.
"We don't need to know." He smiles.
Toni looks down at her feet, nodding.
"But it won't happen again." He finishes, she looks back up at him. Toni thinks she sees the smile almost falter, almost.
The agent steps in, "I've already inspected their home, Toni, and I think you're really going to like your room."
Shelby beams, "I totally agree, even though I don't know what you like, but I think you're really going to like this." She grabs Toni's hand and it happens again, a feeling of a small shock. Toni looks down, sees the hand with pink nails holding onto hers and Shelby leads Toni into the house, full of excitement.
Toni looks back at Dave who is starting a new conversation with the agent. Her face falls for a moment, until there's a stronger tug on her arm. She turns back to an expectant, but happy Shelby, who is leading her through the front door.
Spencer runs up the stairs with Toni's bags—flies up there, really—and yells from the top, "Your bags are really light!"
Toni tries to return a smile to him, clearly understanding that he's trying to tell her how strong he is, but she knows that her bags are light. That her entire life can fit into something so small.
Shelby seems to take note of the moment, and let's go of her arm, "Stop showin' off, Spencer,'' she yells up the stairs. But he is long gone, and probably didn't hear her.
"Little brothers, right?" Shelby smiles, trying to ease the tension. Toni just nods.
"This is our foyer, I know it's pretty big, but we have these small motorized helicopters that our dad lets us fly on special occasions, so it's also very useful," Shelby raises her arms as if she's the presenter on a gameshow.
Toni can't believe that she really has won the best house of her life. The foyer is spacious, the stairs windup to the top, with rod irons. A complex-looking chandelier, with a lot of light bulbs and crystals, hangs from the ceiling.
"Bet those are hard to avoid with the helicopters." Toni says.
"I'm a good pilot," Shelby jokes.
There are crosses in every room, Toni discovers. She takes a mental note of this. Tread carefully, she thinks. They tour the dining room, which has a sprawling table with 3 chairs on one side, a cushioned bench on the other, and a master-of-house style chair with arms at one end. Clearly, Dave would sit at that one.
Toni tries to think about seating arrangements, about who sits where. She assumes the kids sit on the bench side and that Shelby and her mother sit at the chairs. The remaining chair is an obvious message that there's a place for her.
Toni shakes her head, this is not a place for me, she thinks.
"This is the TV room, now most people might say it's a living room, but we have a separate one," Shelby continues, not noticing Toni's eyes staying at the dining room table. "Living and watching TV are two very different things, my father believes, and they each get their own space. So, if you're in the living room, you are most certainly not watching TV. Which is both an invitation and warning, sometimes he can be strict with our phones."
Toni can only respond, "Oh."
Nervous, Shelby starts rambling, "He's not like invasive of privacy or anythin', he just has house rules. I don't mean to worry you."
"Nah, it's fine, Shelby." Toni says, with her raspy voice. She offers her a small smile, and Shelby blinks, stunned to hear her name from Toni's mouth. She quickly turns to the kitchen.
"And this here is my favorite place, we've got all the juices, fruits, and meals right here."
Toni looks at the counters, not a speck of dust on it. The refrigerator has its own water dispenser, and she smiles to herself. Never having used one before.
Shelby follows Toni's eyes and looks to the fridge, "Thirsty? Here, let me get you a glass of water."
Shelby goes on her tiptoes to grab a glass. She walks to the fridge until Toni steps in front of her.
"Can I do it?" Toni asks, smiling like a little kid.
"Uh, sure," she hands Toni the glass, "Yeah, of course."
Shelby presses a button before Toni puts the glass underneath, and a few ice cubes come out. Toni startles, jumping a little.
"Oh, sorry, Toni, I just figured it's real hot outside, and you'd want-"
"This is great. I didn't know it could do that." Toni stares at the glass, enamored.
Shelby smiles to herself, watching Toni have so much fun with something so normal. Toni tips the glass under again, and water spews out, she tries to repress a giggle, but fails. Shelby joins her in laughing, this might work, Toni thinks.
Once the glass is filled, Toni takes a long swig. Shelby was right, Toni didn't realize how dehydrated she was.
"Let's go see your room," Dave Goodkind says, walking in, startling Shelby and Toni, who feels a drip of water on her chin from the sudden movement.
Shelby leads the way up the stairs, Toni follows, and Dave stalks up the steps behind them. Toni can feel his presence, not sure if it's a good one or bad one, yet.
"Alright, Toni, so this is my room-"
Dave Goodkind walks right past her.
"This is about Toni, Shelby," he says, passing by, clearly going to Toni's room.
Shelby's smile gets a little smaller, "Of course, Daddy."
Toni looks in between the two and follows Dave, trying to read Shelby's face.
"I had a nice conversation with your foster care representative, she's a nice woman," he announces in the hallway.
Toni slows, trying to decipher what he's really trying to say. Did she give him her file? How much does he know?
Toni shoves her hands in her pockets, and offers a small, "Yeah, she's been good to me."
She enters her room, which isn't even the right word, it's more like a suite. It's got a bed, and a desk and a chair, and even a mini mattress by the window. A bathroom is right next door, so it's like almost a whole apartment. She's never had this much space all to herself.
The walls are pink, but like hell, if Toni cares. She looks at the bed, and then looks at Dave, almost for permission.
"Go ahead, try it out," he affirms.
Toni falls back onto the bed, more like into it, into a bundle of clouds. The bed has more pillows than any human needs, but it's so nice. So very nice. And it's hers.
"Wow, yeah, this is-wow." Toni stammers, not able to be descriptive of how incredible of an experience this is. She sits up, one leg under the other.
"He buys the best, that's for sure," Shelby says, standing, smiling at her dad.
"Thank you, sir, thank you so much," Toni says, starting to feel good about this.
"Alright, Toni, I'd like you to open your bags, so I can go through them. Make sure we're all on the same page." Dave asks, without posing it as a question.
Toni freezes.
AN: Hi besties! Please let me know your thoughts, and where you think it's headed! Thank you for reading! Posting this story on here, but it's also on AO3 and Wattpad!