Chapter 1: Dear Kagome

I could remember it all. It was replaying in my mind at full speed. Starting with the first day that I had met him in the coffee shop. I'd just left my mother's funeral. I had walked from the cemetery back into the city. I didn't want to go home... I couldn't. I couldn't be faced with all those memories of my mother so soon. It was pouring and I was soaking wet. I looked like a mess. My hair was dripping, my makeup was running. I looked like a wet dog. It was one of the worst days of my life. But then he came in and made it worse, before making it better. He had taken one look at me and laughed. Not a chuckle not a giggle, but a full-on full-bellied laugh. It made me seethe. It was the last straw. I completely blew up in his face. Yelling at him about things that weren't even his fault. I just continued to scream and cry. Unaware of the other eyes watching me, but he just stood there with a small smile on his lips. His ruby eyes never leaving mine. Taking the verbal lashing I had given him. I stood there, teary-eyed; my hands balled into fists at my sides. My chest was heaving, trying to catch my breath. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Wiping away my tears and mascara smudges. The small gesture had confused me.

"Do you feel better now?" he asked.

I sniffled. "Not in the slightest."

My voice was hoarse from yelling at him; that and crying.

He held out his hand to me. "Naraku Mori, and you are?"

That was the day that everything had changed. I went from having no one, to having the most important person to me. I had no family after my mother died. I had no friends because I was always too busy working. Once my mother had passed. I was all alone, but by the grace of the Gods, I was given Naraku. He was sweet, kind, intelligent; introduced me to his friends. He had brought me into his world. Everything was better with him around. It sounded stupid. To think someone was your everything; to put them on such a high pedestal, but I loved him. I was in love with him. I loved everything about him. He made sure that I wanted for nothing. He spoke all my love languages. Cared for me; loved me every minute of every day. In every way possible. When he had proposed I was overjoyed. I would stare at the ring on my finger, watching it sparkle in the light. He was something straight out of a fairytale. A man women could only dream of. But that was the thing. I wasn't living a fairytale anymore. This was a nightmare. Just a few months ago I was the happiest woman on earth. Now I was watching the only man that I had ever loved. Wither away in a hospital bed. He didn't look recognizable. His eyes had sunken in... replaced by deep dark circles. His skin paperwhite.

He looked so fragile that if you touched his skin with the slightest pressure it would tear. It broke my heart to see him like this. He was dying... and there was nothing that we could do to save him. He was a demon they were supposed to be strong... even if he was only half. Didn't that count for something? Biologically his human side had been his downfall. I bit the inside of my cheek. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I'd been crying for the last five months. It felt like I couldn't do it anymore. The only important thing to me was being ripped away. The doctors said he wasn't going to last the week. That was three days ago. I could feel it... he was slipping away. I gingerly rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb. Fingering his wedding band that hung around my neck. He'd lost so much weight laying in the hospital bed, so he couldn't wear it anymore. I hunched over, pressing my head against his bed. I felt so empty. Worse than the day that I had lost my mother. I turned my head. Looking over at him. He must be so uncomfortable, in so much pain. Hooked up to all these tubes. I saw his finger twitched. I snapped upward, watching his eyes open slightly. I gasped trying to catch my breath. He had been conscious for over a month. His appearance had changed, but his eyes. They stayed the same. They were the same as the first day that I'd met him. Filled with so much emotion. He looked at me with so much love and it made my heart burst. I held his hand in mine. I could tell there was so much that he wanted to say but couldn't. So, I spoke instead.

"Naraku, I love you. So much. You came into my life at a time when I needed someone desperately. You loved me even at my ugliest of moments. I will always be grateful for every single moment that we have spent together. You've held on this long for my sake, haven't you?

He squeezed my hand with what little energy he had left.

I bit my lip. I was struggling to find the words. It felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I felt something splash on my hand. I touch my cheek... I was crying. It had been a while since I had done this. At that moment he looked at me with such sadness. He wasn't afraid of death, but of leaving me alone. I tried my best to hold back my tears. To put on a brave face just for his sake. I owed him that and so much more.

"It's okay. You can rest now... you don't have to hold on anymore. I'll be fine… I promise." I said in between sobs.

What was that look in his eyes? I had never seen it before. I could feel his hold on my hand slipping... his eyes were closing.

I see. He was saying goodbye.

It felt like time had stopped. The machine was no longer the rhythm of his heartbeat, but just a flat line. I put his arm down, covering him with the sheet. As the nurses and doctor came rushing in. All I could do was stare at his lifeless body. The continuous monotone beep ringing in my ears.

"Ms. Higurashi?" I heard from behind me.

"He's gone," I whispered.

Three days, that's how long I had to wait for them to cremate him. I'd spent those three days shut inside. Bawling, cursing the gods. Screaming at the top of my lungs, asking them why they'd taken him from me. Begging them to give him back to me over and over. As if anyone was really listening to me. It was stupid, but I couldn't help myself. I clung to the box of his belongings and... his ashes. While I sat in the back of the taxi. I stared at my hand, trying my hardest to remember what his hand felt like. It felt as though a piece of me was missing. How was it at this moment I felt nothing? I was just, empty. I wonder how long this empty feeling would last until I broke down again. I held the box a bit tighter. This was all I had left of him, mementos, and memories. I would never be able to see him or hold him again. I just sat there in the back of the taxi, hunched over this box feeling so lost.

"Miss, we're here." The taxi driver said.

I sat up slowly, seeing I was outside of our- … my house

"Oh," I mumbled hoarsely.

I handed him the money, getting out, I headed over to the front door. Pushing it open I saw scattered envelopes of what seemed to be letters on the floor. I set the box gently on the counter, kicking the door closed behind me. I had sunk to the floor, trying to scoop up the envelopes. Instantly stopping once I'd seen who they were from.

From,

Naraku.

Was this supposed to be a sick joke? I could feel the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I plucked one from the floor, numbers written in the corner that seemed to be dated. The one in my hand. Was dated for tomorrow. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tore it open. My eyes setting on the first two words.

"Dear Kagome,"