"Dad," she screams despairingly, the sound of her own voice waking her. Tam, lying beside her, stirs but does not wake.
###
Chapter 1
One evening
"Seriously, he's lucky he's so beautiful and has such a hot body," Christian sighs, as he reads Syed's latest text.
"What does he want now?" Roxy groans.
"He wants to know where I am, again."
"Turn off your phone," she advises.
"We're supposed to be going to the Masoods for dinner," Christian complains. "To think I used to dream of being accepted into that family. But it soon got boring, believe me. I never realised how dry they were. Sometimes I feel like shouting out the word 'penis' in the middle of dinner, just to see how they'll react," he giggles.
You know, they think they can just accept me into the family now and I'll forget all they've done to me in the past; no apologies, nothing," he adds, with a revealing note of bitterness. "Not that they've really accepted me; I'll never get the same kind of respect they give Afia. She didn't have to save Masood's life to get approval; all she had to do was be female."
"Didn't you tell me that Zainab told you she was sorry?" Roxy remembers.
"Why are we even talking about them?" Christian demands, his voice getting progressively louder.
"Exactly. They're not worth stressing about," she agrees, "let's get another drink."
"More drinks, yes, definitely. Shots, let's do some shots. Tracey," he calls loudly across the bar.
Ronny makes her way over. "I think you've had enough for one night," she advises. "Rox, take him home."
"Kill joy," Christian calls over his shoulder as he and Roxy stagger out the door.
###
"Where's Christian?" Zainab demands, as soon as Syed walks into the kitchen.
"He had to go to see a client," her son weakly excuses.
"At this time of night?" she responds sceptically. She'd always assumed Syed and Christian had a very strong, unshakeable relationship; but now she knows better.
"Your father has brought a friend from Mo*que home for dinner; go and meet him."
"Syed, come and meet Nazir." Masood calls him over as soon as he enters the sitting room. "This is my eldest son, Syed," he introduces.
"Hi," Syed says with a friendly smile.
"Nice to meet you," the handsome stranger responds, shaking his hand.
"Nazir's new in town; he's only recently arrived from Pak*stan," Masood explains.
"Really, which part?" Syed asks, immediately interested.
"Kar*chi."
"I travelled there earlier this year; it's a fascinating place. I visited the Tooba Mosque and the Mohatta Palace Museum, the Mazar-e-Quaid; and the food markets were amazing. We flew to Mohenjo-Daro to walk through the archaeological site ..." he hesitates, sensing he's getting carried away.
Nazim's smile is polite, but also ever so slightly demeaning.
"I'm sorry ...," Syed automatically begins to apologise.
"I'm pleased you had an enjoyable visit," he interrupts. "Kar*chi is my home and I love it, but the way of life here suits me very well for now; there is so much to do and see. And you have so much more freedom here, to go where you will, do as you please." As he says this, his eyes look directly into Syed's for just a second or two longer than politeness would have required.
"London is a great city," Masood agrees with what he thinks is being said. "I always say that we don't take the time to explore properly. The tourists could probably give us pointers."
"Syed, you must be my guide to the city; I'm sure you've been to some places the average local would know nothing about." A slightly mocking look accompanies this comment.
"That's a great idea. Syed knows the area very well, he's been around ..."
"So I've been told," Nazim remarks, his head turned slightly towards Syed and his voice low enough for only Syed to pick up his true meaning.
"... most of London during his time as a student and later working as an Estate Agent, before he joined the family business." Masood does his best to talk up his son, sensing his discomfort without understanding the reason for it.
"Mas," Zainab sharply summons from the kitchen.
"Yes, my little turtle dove," her husband sweetly responds.
"Would you mind helping me with something?" she asks, modifying her tone and request as she remembers they have a guest.
"I can go," Syed attempts.
"Nonsense, you must keep our guest company." Masood walks away, leaving an awkward silence.
"Masood told me all about his wonderful family; he is very proud of you all," Nazir says, as it becomes clear that Syed is not going to speak.
"Why are you here?" he hisses. "Have you been sent by someone at Mosque?"
Your boyfriend, he won't be joining us?"
"I asked you a question."
"You and Christian have been together for a few years, I believe. Your marriage broke up because you couldn't resist his ... charms."
"My life is none of your business; my father should have realised that."
"Your father wouldn't have wanted me to know something so shameful about his family."
Syed can feel the heat rising in his cheeks. "Who have you been talking to?" he demands.
"I know all your dirty little secrets, Syed Masood," Nazir lets him know, his tone softly threatening.
The intense look in his eyes, the way they darken almost to black as they trap and hold his gaze has Syed hastily backing away. "If you'll excuse me …" he turns and rushes off to the safety of the kitchen.
"What just happened?" he wonders, as he walks around the table automatically picking up and moving plates around and stirring sauces ... "What sort of game is he playing?"
"Syed, leave those alone," Zainab barks from right behind him, almost giving him a heart attack. "Everything on that table is ready to go."
"Um ... sorry mum ..."
"What are you doing out here, anyway? You've left our guest with only Tam and Afia to talk to; what off any interest will they be able to say to him?" she dismisses.
"I …"
"Fine, fine. Stir this," she commands, handing him a ladle and pointing to the pot bubbling on the cooker. "I've got to go and change for dinner."
#
Dinner is a lively affair, with Zainab being the perfect hostess, Masood dropping amusing comments every now and then, and their guest being just about as charming as someone can be on a first visit. Without really knowing how she can benefit from it, not having a daughter nearby, Zainab is nevertheless impressed to find out that Nazir is a doctor and temporarily covering for Dr Fonseca, the local GP, who had to leave unexpectedly when it was discovered that he had been selling prescriptions.
Syed says very little throughout the meal; he has the seemingly absurd idea that he won't feel safe until this man has left their house.
"Which M*sque do you attend?" Nazir asks him directly at one point.
"He goes to the Limehouse M*sque," Zainab answers for him. "Because of, well ..., he can't attend M*sque with us."
"That must be difficult," Nazir once more addresses Syed.
"Unfortunately, not everyone is as open minded as you," Masood responds, somewhat hypocritically.
At this point, Syed's phone rings.
"I need to take this." Quickly getting up from the table, he leaves the room.
"If it's Christian, tell him I'm not happy; he'll know what I mean," Zainab calls after him.
"I've never had PPI," Syed says quietly, once he has the sitting room door closed behind him. He cuts off the caller before they can pester him any further, and slips out the back door before anyone decides to come looking for him.
#
He rushes down the street, thoughts twirling around in his head. "What was that about? Why did he single me out in such a way? It doesn't matter, none of it matters because I won't be seeing him again. Dad never brings people home from M*sque. Even before I came out, he never ... Is it because I'm gay? Am I being targeted ...?" Syed is so preoccupied, he fails to see the black cab until it screeches to a halt inches from where he is walking.
"Watch where you're going, you muppet," the driver shouts.
"Sorry" he apologises with a friendly waive; he gets none in return.
Arriving back at the flat, he is relieved to find it empty.
"Forget all about Nazir, he hasn't got the power to hurt you," he reassures himself. He turns on the TV and sits on the sofa to watch a TV programme which is not going to hold his attention. "Of course he can't hurt me; why would I even consider ...? After all this time, the M*sque will have forgotten me. As long as I don't show my face ..."
His phone beeps with a message from his mum, "Be at restaurant at noon tomorrow. Have told Nazir you'll show him around." As Syed stares at the message, he has a feeling of foreboding. "This is bad," he whispers, without really knowing why he is so sure of it.