Chapter 1

"Stephanie, will you marry me. Be my wife and partner?"

I sat back in my chair looking from the small blue box that had been set onto the table in front of me, then back to the man sat watching me. Me, Stephanie Plum, was being asked the one question that I somehow knew was coming, yet I still dreaded hearing it. Maybe two years ago I might have felt differently but too much had happened between us and somehow, I wasn't the same person for the answer to be what he expected. I looked at the man sat there, his face, that a moment ago had looked so full of expectation was slowly changing to that of a worried man. This was going to be difficult, for both of us, because I already knew the answer.

I shook my head as I looked down at the box, a mix of emotions running through me as I tried to give my answer with as little pain as possible, for both of us. I knew though that talking around the subject would only cause misunderstanding and I needed to be very clear with my answer.

"I do love you, but not enough to marry you"

I saw the confusion cross his face and was prepared for the arguments that he would use to try and get me to change my mind.

"What do you mean. We love each other, so why are you saying no?"

I took a deep breath, knowing that what I was going to say would be difficult, but I also knew that it had to be said.

"The relationship that we have, it isn't a solid base for marriage, it isn't working. We've tried living together and it doesn't work. You want a woman to stay at home and bring up kids and I'm not that woman"

"What's wrong with that?"

For anyone other than me, there was nothing wrong with that, but for me it was like a death sentence. I hated the idea of doing housework, preparing meals and being stuck with what everyone would expect of me. Don't get me wrong I did do housework where I lived but the idea of cleaning up after someone else, no thank you. As for cooking, it wasn't that I didn't like it, I just couldn't do it without creating a mess or burning something.

"That's what you want. It isn't what I want. I enjoy the job that I do, you hate it. I like the friends that I have, you don't. I do things spontaneously not because of a routine that I'm locked into"

I watched as he sat back in his chair. To be honest this was probably hurting me as much as it was hurting him. I'd spent time over the last few days contemplating this very scene. I wasn't sure if what we had was love or some sort of dependency or habit that we had going. Like a comfort blanket a toddler would reach for when they were in need of soothing.

"Joe we both want different things, a different future and maybe it would be better if we just stayed friends"

"Is this because of Manoso? You know he'll never see you as anything other than someone he helps out"

I could tell by the way that he looked at me and the sarcasm in his voice that he really wanted to say more. Maybe he was worried that if he did then that would definitely start us arguing and that would definitely have me breaking up with him. His remark did hit home though but no way was Joe going to know that he was probably right.

"No. He was out of town for a while, but I haven't seen Ranger recently. This has nothing to do with him Joe, this is about you and me"

Well, that was what I was telling myself. Carlos Manoso, also known as Ranger, was CEO of a successful security company but he also did jobs for the government and was a badass bounty hunter. Did this have anything to do with Ranger? Maybe it did, because I'd come to realize that what I felt for Ranger far exceeded my feelings for Joe. On the other hand, Ranger had never offered me more than friendship, some unforgettable nights together and an understanding that there could never be anything more between us. Why did Joe have to mention Ranger, possibly because he thought he knew that there was something between Ranger and me when in reality there wasn't.

"So you're being serious then?"

I was brought out of my musings by Joe asking the question that I knew was coming. I suppose I should have known that Joe wouldn't make this easy.

"Yes Joe. We use each other because neither of us has the guts to put ourselves out there in case we never find that one person that completes us. It's time for both of us to move on"

I was crossing my fingers under the table because that little speech had been one that I'd picked up off the internet under the heading "Ten ways to finish with a long term boyfriend" The problem was that I knew I was right in finishing with Joe now. That feeling that used to come over me whenever I saw Joe just wasn't there anymore, there were no flutters in my heart when I saw him or when we had sex. Any love that I thought I'd had for him I put down to his good looks and charming smile.

I watched as Joe replaced the box back into his pocket and finished the wine in his glass. Yeah, he was a good looking man and had a house and a steady job, all the things that most women would see as a good reason to marry, but it wasn't enough for me. We'd had a nice meal in a nice restaurant, but it was definitely time to leave now. I'd said what I needed to say and didn't want to prolong the anguish that we were both feeling.

"Joe, we can still be friends, you know maybe meet up at Pinos or watch a game"

Joe was looking at the wine glass as he set it down on the table. Oh god, he looked absolutely miserable, and I was responsible for that.

"I need a bit of time Steph, to get my head around what you've just said. Maybe we both need some time apart, you never know, you might even change your mind"

I almost groaned out loud as he said that. I knew that Joe and I had gone through many times when we'd put our relationship on hold only to get back together. I really needed for Joe to understand that it wouldn't be happening again but refrained from commenting not wanting to start an argument with him.

An hour later I'd changed from the dress that I'd been wearing and was sat in a comfy pair of PJs on the couch in my apartment. I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I scooped out the last spoonful of my Ben and Jerrys chocolate and cookie ice cream. I kept going through in my head the evening with Joe and whether or not I'd made the right decision. I knew that Joe loved me so had I pushed away the one man who would ever love me? Was my mother right when she'd said that he was my last hope to settle down? That had me thinking of what my mother was always saying to me, that I wasn't getting any younger. Maybe that was true, but did that mean that I should stop looking? Should I forfeit what I wanted, what made me happy, when Joe would never give an inch? Should I be the one who had to make the changes to my life?

Joe hated the job that I did as a bounty hunter. Okay maybe I wasn't brilliant at it, but I always got the person that I was looking for. I mean since when did anyone want to go court when it was possible that they might get a fine or even sent to prison? They did whatever they could to avoid that from happening and maybe it involved me being tricked, having food or anything they could lay their hands on being thrown my way. Sometimes they got violent but usually I was devious enough to get them in the end.

I was never sure with Joe whether he hated that I got myself into some unusual situations or he hated that it caused him so much embarrassment. Never once had he ever offered to help me out, unless of course it happened to cross with a case that he was on, then he'd be all too happy to encourage me to share what I knew. Not once had he suggested or offered to help improve my skills, maybe he thought that would just encourage me with my job. Thinking about it the two men who had the most influence on my life behaved totally differently toward me.

Ranger, I didn't know what to think about that man. He'd been a part of my life since I'd become a bounty hunter. He'd been my mentor, my friend and then my lover and that was what had mudded the water for me. Thinking about Ranger didn't make me feel any better, but at least he cared enough to help me with some of my difficult skips and always comforted me when things went wrong, unlike Joe who usually shouted and belittled me. Ranger had been the one who had tried to get me to train but it had been me who had made the excuses. He was always there for me when I was in trouble or when I needed help and those times could be intense. The problem was that in between those times I rarely saw him, like now, I was telling Joe the truth when I'd said that. We helped each other out, trusted each other but that was as far as a relationship with him went. I knew that I wanted more but he was out of bounds. A man of mystery who didn't do relationships because his life didn't lend itself to doing something so stupid.

I knew that he was way out of my league and maybe he just kept me around for the fun of it, well he had said that I was entertainment. Yeah, the white girl from the Burg trying to play with the big guys, the professionals, it was laughable really. Was I so miserable because I would never have Ranger or because I knew that Joe just wasn't the right man for me?

I had no idea and to be honest I wasn't up to dwelling on it now. Joe may think that I would change my mind, but I was determined that this time it wouldn't be happening. I'd gone back to him too many times in the past to repeat the whole merry go round over and over again. It was time to get off the ride.

I woke with a start, feeling slightly disorientated but looking around I realized that I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I was still wondering what had woken me up when I heard my phone ringing. Looking at the id I answered knowing that Lula wouldn't stop calling me until I spoke to her.

"Open the door white girl. I'm here with sustenance"

I'm sure that I rolled my eyes because I knew that what she'd said was an excuse to grill me about the night before. Getting up I dropped the empty ice cream carton in the garbage bin and pulled back the bolt on my door. True to her word Lula was stood there, her arms full of bags from McDonalds. Having let her in I closed the door and telling her that I wouldn't be a minute headed into the bathroom. Once I'd used the toilet, I took a good look at the reflection in the mirror as I ran some warm water. My hair wasn't at its best, but a tie subdued most of my curls into a ponytail. Next, I splashed water over my face to get rid of the marks left from crying the night before. A touch of foundation and I thought that I looked good enough and to be honest felt good as well. I just hoped that Lula wasn't going to start asking me too many questions that I wasn't prepared to answer.

As I opened the door the smell from the food had me realizing that maybe I was hungry enough to eat, there were definitely fries, and maybe cheese. Lula was already sat on the couch with the bags open in front of her, so I took a seat in the chair opposite her.

"Cheeseburger, chicken wings and them nacho cheeses wedges"

I reckoned Lula had bought two of everything so started by picking up the nachos.

"Word is that you got engaged last night"

I turned and looked at Lula with a nacho part way to my mouth. How the hell did anyone know what had happened?

"Girl, you was seen. Some busybody got a shot off with the two of you sat at a table and a blue jewelry box between you"

I'm sure that I groaned at hearing that. Why did it always happen to me, why couldn't people keep themselves out of my life? I'd agreed to meet with Joe at that restaurant because it was out of the Burg, hopeful that no one would recognize us.

"What's the damage Lula?"

Knowing from the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'd be the talk of the town.

"Viral. So, what's the story. You really gonna marry the man?"

Once again, I was looking at Lula, at this rate I wasn't going to get to eat anything.

"No. When Connie told me that Joe had been seen at the jewelry shop it made me realize that I didn't want that. I've spent some sleepless nights thinking it through"

"So what, officer hottie aint good enough for you?"

I considered what Lula had said, officer hottie was her name for Joe Morelli, a detective at the Trenton Police Department, and I suppose he was a good looking guy. He looked after his body and had a tight arse so along with the way that he looked at me with those softened brown eyes I could see that he was a good catch. A good catch for what though?

"It's not like that, Lula. He hates the job that I do and would start pestering me to quit. Can you see me keeping house and having kids? That's what he wants but that's not for me. I told him that it was over between us"

That had Lula sat looking at me with a chicken wing partly in her mouth, so I took advantage and started on the fries. We ate in silence until all of the food was gone, me worrying how far the rumors had spread. Shit if my mother thought that I was engaged to Joe she'd already have the wedding planned. I needed to do some damage control, so I probably scared Lula to death when I suddenly got to my feet.

"I need to go and see my mother"

It was probably a good job that we'd finished eating because Lula dropped one of her food bags on the floor and was staring at me like I was mad.

"You sure, she'll be at church thanking the Lord that her daughter has finally done something right"

I rolled my eyes because Lula was probably right. In my mother's eyes I should be happy at having the opportunity to marry and settle down. To her that was what young women in the Burg aspired to do. She just couldn't understand that doing that would kill something inside me. If my mother was at church then maybe my father would be at home, so I could talk to him first, yeah, divide and conquer was definitely the way to approach this. Standing up I picked up all of the rubbish and threw it in the bin watching as Lula stayed where she was. The TV came on so I knew that Lula would be happy flicking through the channels while I showered and got dressed. Thirty minutes later I was ready to face the world. I'd dressed in a denim skirt, black leather knee high boots and a blue sweater. My hair was fastened back in a ponytail, and I had on minimum makeup with a couple of coats of mascara for courage.

When I walked back into the lounge the TV was still blaring out, but Lula was fast asleep on the couch. I didn't have the heart to wake her up and judging from the snoring wasn't sure that I could. Feeling very guilty I dropped some hamster food in the tank for Rex and filled up his water then watched as the straw moved in the soup can.

"Wish me luck Rex"

I left a note for Lula for when she woke and was soon walking out of the door. I took the stairs, maybe thinking it would take more time and the longer I could put off this visit to my parents the better. I spied Lula's Firebird in the parking lot before walking to the back where my old Nova was parked. This car had done me well, lasting longer than my usual cars. It started first time, though I wasn't sure what I'd do when the cold weather came because the driver's window didn't close properly, and the heater had never worked. I drove on autopilot to the Burg, a journey that I had driven hundreds of times before but today I was feeling more nervous than usual.