"Ralph, you've got one second to explain why Felix and I aren't at home watching The Proposal as he feeds me caramel corn."
"Think of it this way sweetheart, we don't have to waste time trying to look for something new to watch or eat tomorrow night." Felix sat beside his wife and fed her a spoon of whipped cream straight from the bucket
Ralph, who was sitting across from the couple with his own spoon of whipped cream rolled his eyes "Uh... because you two pressured me to adopt a child at the age of thirty six."
"Yeah so?" Calhoun raised a brow at the construction worker "It's not like we did the paper work or sign your name or grew attached to the kid. If you didn't want to adopt Vanellope, you shouldn't have acted like it."
"So... Vanellope is sixteen now and is secretly dating her scumbag middle school bully." Ralph hissed back
Felix let out a gasp "Vanellope is dating Francis?" Calhoun let a out a chortle "The kid obsessed with peanut butter is what you consider a scumbag Wreck it?"
"No!" Ralph pouted "She's dating that lollipop sucking brat with stupid bangs."
Calhoun leant on husband's shoulder as she failed to hold back her laughter.
After a second of silence between Ralph and Felix, Calhoun wiped away her tears of laughter "I'm sorry that Vanellope is dating Taffyta but what do you want us to do about it?"
"What do you mean what do I want you to do about it?!" Ralph flung a scoop of whipped cream at Calhoun "I want you to go and tell that brat to keep her hands off of Vanellope!"
"Oh no" Felix hopped off his stool "Tam, you stay here, I'll go get you some paper towels and-"
"You need to calm down asshat!" Calhoun slammed the bucket of whipped cream on Ralph's head and caught Felix's arm "If you don't do that, we're leaving and you get to wait for Vanellope to come out and tell you she's taking Taffyta's last name when they marry, got it?"
Ralph let out a sigh as he took the bucket off his head and cleared his throat "Got it."