AN: This is not a kiss order! A short break for today on kisses, this is a bday present for an amazing person, DarkenedHrt101! I pitched this forever ago to her and she loved it so now it's your present! The concept of Mamoru's placement at the beginning of this, inside the cauldron, comes from Master-Ray's After the Cauldron series. The imagery comes from Nebelflecke's art that she showed me once and also used to fashion some fan art for Master-Ray's fic. I thought both were so beautiful; I wanted to honor them. So that is where my 'inside the cauldron' comes from!

Prologue

Inside the Cauldron

"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I was surrounded by shifting clouds of nothingness. They held color and shape, which was more than I could say about myself.

I was dead.

Of that much, I was sure while the rest of my… existence was unclear. When my plane was attacked, I was on my way to America for school, the last bad guy taken care of, and no other reason to stay. She took my heart, the woman that attacked. I may not have a medical degree, but that's basic knowledge; you can't live without your heart.

At first, I thought this nothingness was heaven. Then I thought it was hell. Now, I'm not so sure. I keep hearing voices. Some call out names I've never heard before, while others are just pained agony. A few are joyful, happy, and thankful. I could only assume that some of us were with loved ones while others, like me, were alone.

It didn't bother me; I was always alone. I grew up that way. That didn't mean I wanted to die that way. I had hoped, in death, I would meet my parents. That was assuming there was an afterlife and I was good enough of a person to be returned to them.

As it stood, I didn't know if I qualified to meet them again.

Time was irrelevant, but it felt eternal. Like I had been here all my life and not at the same time. It stretched on, my personal purgatory, as I floated in a shapeless form. The light around me was dewy, pleasant, but not intense. I was dancing through the clouds of pink and purple mist that were dotted with halos of gold.

It was why, when bright white light pierced the clouds, I noticed.

Along with my hands, I had hands again. And a head… feet, and legs that I could feel nothing in, but it didn't frighten me in the slightest. What did was that this appeared to be the actual end. Whatever I had been waiting for, this was it. Heaven, Hell, Rebirth, or blinking completely from existence, I would find out in a few moments.

My heart was pounding, which made my hands shake as I hadn't had a heart in what felt like forever. Now it had been returned and was pulling me towards the light.

The fear I had melted. Because this light was warm and sweet, it was familiar. It didn't make sense, but I knew this light. This light was friendly.

Now I was running, swimming, and grasping at air, moving as fast as possible. I wanted to be in the light, covered by it, enveloped in it. It no longer mattered where it was taking me because it was safe, and it was leading me out of this fluffy hell.

Closing my eyes to the onslaught of pure brightness, I allowed my soul to lead me, pulling me in the right direction. The bubble popped, the air whipping past my face and filling my ears for a singular second that left my once deaf ears now fully functioning. There wasn't much noise, but after nothing for so long, it all sounded so loud. Birds chirping, tires on the road far away, leaves shuffling in the breeze. I opened my eyes, not to the pearly paradise of heaven or the frigid emptiness of hell.

I was in the land of the living.

Had I been reborn? It wouldn't be the first time, and I doubted the last. But, glancing around, I found I wasn't alone. Faces I recognized of the people I never really knew. Warriors that fought alongside me for years. We saved one another from time to time without hesitation while not knowing a damn thing about one another. And my heart jumped into my throat when one warrior, one very important warrior, was missing.

Scrambling all other thoughts, I searched below for her. Then above.

Like the angel she was, Sailor Moon floated above us. Downy wings held her high over us, and she smiled with unrivaled beauty down at all of us. Of course, it was her; if anything could bring my ass back from death, it was her. She had done it more times than I could count.

By the looks on their faces, I had to assume she had done it for the others around me. I didn't know about the four faces below, absolute strangers to me. And with their very revealing outfits, black bikini tops, and black shorts.

The other warriors swelled around her, tackling the angel as we all gently floated down to the solid ground. I reveled in the feeling of a solid foundation under my feet, pressing my weight solidly into my legs for the first time in such a long time. It had nostalgia swelling in my chest and making it feel tight.

The crowd of warriors split. It was my turn.

Sailor Moon already had tears on her rosy cheeks, but more flooded her cerulean crystals when our eyes met. "Tuxedo Kamen…"

The amount of joy on her face always made me shiver; she was always so damn happy to see me. It was shameful how much I enjoyed that, looked forward to it, watched as she bounced into my arms. I held her tight without regret or worry. Sailor Moon initiated this; no one would stop us today.

My nose firmly planted in her hair, I breathed in deep for the first time since my feet touched the ground. I waited to breathe, wanting her to be the first thing I smelt in this life. Maybe that was a little messed up, but it wasn't the first time, and I regretted her not being my first everything when my life was renewed.

She had her face in my neck, tears streaking down my skin and wetting the collar of my 'uniform'. I was still in my tuxedo from my last fight, but things felt far from average. It didn't feel like the last time, only a few hours after my death before I was brought back—Sailor Moon held me a little too tight for it to be that simple.

"How long was I gone?"

She sniffled, her nails digging into my chest as she tightened her hold on my shirt. "A year."

"Shit!..." Sailor Moon cringed, and I regretted my reaction, knowing it was far worse for her than it was for me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long."

She giggled, a bodily reaction to intense euphoria. "It was my fault…."

I cut her off with a hard squeeze. "Shut up. You can't take the blame. Not this time. Not ever."

Slowly, but before I was ready, she began to pull away, and I allowed it in my arms and nowhere else. Not taking my eyes off her, I watched as she wiped her face clean, flat hands like window wipers across her cheeks that peeled away liquid. Sailor Moon huffed out a laugh, looking around at all that surrounded her. It was a full house. Sailors Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus hugged Moon again tight, blubbering about missing one another while Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, and Saturn stood back out of the way.

I felt little hands grab my pant leg, pulling a little hard, and I found my favorite little warrior holding on to me tight. "Chibi Moon."

The small girl was a mystery to us all, but we couldn't just leave her to herself with her powers. Disappearing and reappearing at random, I had to assume she vanished with the rest of us, for whatever reason that was. The woman that took my heart must have taken hers as well. That made me pull the pink-haired child in my arms and hold her tight, feeling responsible for failing her. I wasn't here to protect her or Sailor Moon.

I had fucked up.

"I'm so sorry little one."

Just like Sailor Moon had moments ago, she nuzzled my neck, wiping tears on my skin. "It wasn't your fault."

But it was because I tried to leave. If I had stayed put, I wouldn't have been ambushed. I would have been here to help with the fight. So these were things that, although they wouldn't give anything away, I still couldn't tell anyone. Not even the child in my arms. "I'm still sorry for not being there for you."

Sailor Moon caught sight of the Chibi Moon and carefully pulled her from me. I relented, as I had no right to the kid or to protest when Sailor Moon had been alone all that time. Chibi Moon leaped from me to her, holding on tight to the angel while Sailor Moon stroked her hair.

"I've missed you, Chibi Moon," the pinkette huffed, the two never really getting along all that well, "I wanted to tell you, I met someone like you while you were gone!" The child lifted her head and stared at the blonde. "She had hair like yours too. I think maybe you two are from the same place…I know you won't tell me if I'm right, and that's okay; I still love you."

Fresh tears welled up in the small one's eyes, the main argument the two always had, where Chibi Moon appeared and disappeared to, was finally resolved. It was clear the two were glad to have all bad blood between them gone, giggling as they hugged and cried. It was enough to make my calm heart burn with a warmth I didn't pretend to understand—just that it was familiar.

Sailor Moon set Chibi Moon down, then stumbled a bit. I reached out, catching her, but she was taken from me as her strength began to fade. "Sailor Moon, you've done so much. Time to go home and rest."

Mercury was brushing the angel's cheek lovingly. Regardless of what they thought about me, I always trusted them to take care of Sailor Moon. And home sounded excellent right now, even if it was empty.

"That's my cue."

Stepping back, Sailor Moon held up a weak arm in hopes of catching me. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I would never leave her again. I would be right by her side the next fight, whenever that was.

The soft smile on her face told me she heard my silent thoughts, conveyed through my touch, and let me go.

It was blissful, the rooftops under my feet. The pulsing of my thighs as I pushed them against solid things. The slight pain in my toes as I bent them back to thrust myself upwards. The cramp in my lower back from use. The smack to my heels as I landed back on the Earth. I was tempted to keep running, jumping, fleeing from what waited for me when I returned to my regular self.

But it had been a year; it was time to go home—to go back to reality.

The last of the sun's summer rays were bleeding in through my balcony window. A year -at least- since I had been inside my place. I ignored the layer of dust for now and glanced around for clues of a date. My things were probably in the Boston Logan's International Airport's lost and found. Meaning I only had what I wore to the airport and spares that I left here.

Making my way to the utility closet, I silently thanked Motoki for not only making me buy a spare for emergencies but that I left it here. My cape got tangled in it as I worked it out of the cramped space but soon had it unfolded and ready, slapping the brakes on the wheels into place.

Sitting, I left my feet on the ground for the second remaining before my transformation dropped. Power drained from me, turning back into Mamoru, and numbness flowed down, starting at my hips and going to my toes. I tried once, out of sheer stubbornness, to make my legs lift themselves but gave up quickly.

"Somethings never change," I told myself as I lifted my legs with my hands and dropped my feet into the footrests of my wheelchair.