Warning: Abuse

The writing first appeared when he turned eight years old. He remembered in class, learning about what that meant. When you turned eight, you could start communicating with your soulmate. So even if you didn't live in the same town, or even country, you could still talk to them.

Sometimes, someone wouldn't have a soulmate, and even if they wrote on their arms, no one would ever write back. It rarely happened, but it was a depressing thought, that he could have no soulmate.

He did have one, however. Two, actually, and it seemed they already knew each other, had already been communicating for a while. Kageyama took this to mean they were probably older than him.

When his parents first saw the marks on his arms, an odd expression crossed their faces, unlike one he'd ever seen before. He didn't know why, but his heart started hammering inside his chest at those looks. "Tobio, have you been writing on yourself to connect with your soulmate?"

"No." Kageyama said, shaking his head. His parents had already discussed this with him. When he turned eight, he wasn't supposed to talk to his soulmates at all. His parents said that sometimes, you were paired with the wrong person as your soulmate, and they wanted to protect him just in case. So he wasn't supposed to reach out, even if they tried to contact him.

"Then what's all that writing on your arm?" his mother asked, that odd expression still on her face.

"I think I might have two soulmates." Kageyama said. "They're talking to each other." He didn't want to admit that he had been reading their conversations for an hour or two now, just watching his soulmates interact silently.

"Go put on a long-sleeved shirt."

"But papa, it's hot—"

"Do as I say!"

Kageyama flinched back in surprise. His parents had never spoken to him that way, never yelled at him like that. They didn't have to. Tobio made mistakes, but he'd never intentionally disobeyed them, so there wasn't a need to yell at him.

Kageyama nodded, and ran upstairs to do what his father said. He stripped out of his shirt and grabbed a new one. It was a sweater that he could slide over his shirt, and had three buttons that he left undone.

Hesitant to go downstairs, he sat in his room for several minutes. What if his parents were still angry with him? He was almost afraid to ask why they were mad. He'd never seen that expression on their faces before, not even when he'd broken his mothers favorite vase. He hadn't done anything wrong, to his knowledge. He'd only woken up and come downstairs. Sure there had been the writing of his soulmates on display but he'd not written anything to them, just as his parents had told him. He couldn't stop his other two soulmates from communicating, however, and he didn't understand how his parents could blame him for that.

Eventually he stood on shaky legs and opened his bedroom door. Glancing longingly at the room he wanted to hide in until his parents came to apologize for yelling, he slowly shut the door behind him.

When he got downstairs, his parents were already sitting at the table, and their heads snapped toward him when he walked in. "What took you so long?" His father asked.

"I just had a hard time finding a good sweater."

He hoped his parents accepted that explanation.

They seemed to because his mother just tilted her head and gestured for him to sit down. Once he was settled they began to eat.

"Tobio," his mother was the one that spoke this time.

"Yes?"

"You're to wear long sleeves from now on. You aren't to let anyone see the writing, ever. And of course you are to never contact your soulmates either. That rule still stands."

"Okay, mama." He didn't want to argue this time because of the way his father had reacted.

They finished the rest of dinner in complete silence. After, Tobio did his homework and went to sleep.

He didn't understand why his parents had reacted the way they did, but both of them had always been a little overprotective. That was probably it. Just in case his soulmates were the bad ones, they didn't want him to see the kinds of things they discussed.

He came to realize, however, that it was nearly impossible not to stare at his arms and watch their conversations unfold over the span of days, months, years. He became intoxicated, and soon he couldn't get enough. He knew he was spying on them, and he knew he was disobeying his parents. Both of those things were wrong. But he couldn't help the urge to stare, couldn't help the wanting to speak with them, wanting them to speak with him too.

But he felt he didn't belong. He felt like he was intruding on something special, on something that didn't and never would belong to him. He was intruding, in a way, spying. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about his soulmates when they had no idea he even existed. He shouldn't be sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

He always wore long sleeved shirts because of that day in the kitchen. He knew better than to disobey his elders, especially his parents.

When he was alone, however, he would look at his arms. Sometimes the messages were long, or sometimes they were simple good morning messages. Often the conversations would be about classes, homework, volleyball. They seemed to have a lot in common.

He decided that if both his soulmates played volleyball, maybe he should try it out too. He knew he was a little young and he knew that it was probably too late in the year to play at his school, if his school even offered volleyball. But he figured that he would at least ask his parents for a ball. He could start practicing, researching it, getting fitter.

He did ask them one Saturday evening during dinner. "Mama, I was wondering if you could maybe please buy me a volleyball?"

"Why do you need that?" his father asked.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe when I start middle school next year, I could get on a team." Kageyama answered meekly.

"My dear, you need to focus on your studies. Not some silly sport." His mother shook her head.

"I just want to try it. I promise I won't let it affect my grades." He tried to convince them.

"Gym is enough for you, you don't need another club like volleyball. Join something that will be more helpful when you graduate and go to college. A literature club perhaps, a foreign language. Anything would be better than some stupid sports club." His father rolled his eyes and took a bite of his meal.

Kageyama wasn't sure how to keep arguing with them, he couldn't tell them his real reason for wanting to join as it related to soulmates. "I just thought… um, that maybe it would help me focus on school better. I have a lot of energy after school, maybe if I did some volleyball I could come home and sit down to do my homework?"

"But wouldn't you be exhausted, darling?"

"No, I would probably feel more awake. And working out is supposed to make you happy." That was what he'd read on the internet anyway when he was preparing for this conversation.

His mother turned to his father, "He only wants to try it. He might not even like it." She reasoned.

His father was silent for a long time, unwittingly making it harder for Tobio to breathe properly. What would his answer be? He knew his father would have the last say when it came to any matter that had to do with his education, which was somewhat unfortunate since his mother was easier to persuade.

"Alright," he said finally. "However you are to come home straight after, and don't you dare talk about soulmates or share your markings."

Kageyama nodded. He already knew that. His parents made it very clear on where they stood with soulmates and if either of them caught him staring at his arm he would be in trouble. If either found him they would grab his arm and drag him to the coat closet and lock him in until he learned his lesson.

When his father found him, his grip was so tight, it left faint finger like bruises on his wrists. And when his mother found him her nails would dig in so deeply he would sometimes bleed. They had explained to him that it was unintentional but that if it happened he deserved it.

He was never sure how long he was locked in the closet for. The majority of the time behind that door was spent laying on the ground feeling like the walls were going to crush him, convincing himself that there was no oxygen, screaming until his throat was raw, and crying himself to sleep.

Ever since his first night in that closet he did everything he could to avoid tight spaces, and the dark.

His parents allowed him volleyball, one step closer to feeling connected with his soulmates. He was overjoyed, practiced every day even though he couldn't be on a team yet. He'd decided by the time he entered junior high that he was going to be a setter. A setter had the most contact with a ball and a spiker couldn't spike anything without them.

When he joined the team at Kitagawa Daichi, he met a third year setter, Oikawa Tooru. Kageyama instantly admired him for his skills as a setter, not to mention his height, his sharp jawline. For some reason, Tobio was mesmerized by him. Him and his other friend, Iwaizumi. Another third year, a spiker. He had short, spiky hair and his arms were toned for a middle schooler. He was shorter than Oikawa and had impressive power behind his spikes.

Kageyama admired them both.

"Oikawa-san, can you please teach me how to serve?"

Oikawa turned to look at him with an expression he once again, couldn't read, but one that looked much like his parents when they saw the writings on his arms.

"No, Tobio-chan, I am completely incapable." Oikawa said, his lip curling up into a cruel expression. "Go bother some other poor soul."

Kageyama made a whine sound in the back of his throat to which Oikawa rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean to bother you Oikawa-san." Was all he said and stood completely still while Oikawa walked off.

It hurt. Kageyama felt a pain inside his chest, quickly amplifying each time his efforts were wasted. "Oikawa-san, why won't you teach me?"

They were alone in the gym, Oikawa finishing cleaning and Tobio standing off to the side, clutching his volleyball tightly towards his chest. He knew he was supposed to go home right away, but this was important and he figured if he ran he could make it home in plenty of time.

"Why?" Oikawa drawled and wouldn't even turn to look at him.

Kageyama knew it was a bit rude but he stepped closer and tugged at the hem of Oikawa's jacket, "Yes." He said, bottom lip almost trembling.

Oikawa glared at him and shoved him off so hard Kageyama stumbled and fell to the ground. "Because you're annoying, Tobio-chan. Do you want to see exactly what I think of you?" Oikawa stripped off his jacket and it fell to the floor in a heap. The older boy showed his arms to Kageyama, arms that were almost completely covered in conversation. Self-consciously, Kageyama tugged down on his own sleeves. "Why don't you read exactly what Iwa-chan and I have to say about you, hm?"

Kageyama read over the words etched into Oikawa's arms, covered in phrases.

I hate him Iwa-chan.

He's just a kid, Tooru. He can be annoying but seriously let it go.

I'm not going to let it go, Iwa-chan. He creeps me out too. He's always staring at me, I even see him doing it from the corner of my eyes!

He probably just admires you, Shittykawa.

No, it's something else. I get the feeling he likes me even though we aren't soulmates. It's pretty disgusting.

He's just a kid…

You aren't disagreeing.

Kageyama couldn't make out the rest of the conversation because his eyes were blurring too much. He did catch a few words however, 'annoying', 'creepy', 'weird', 'unloveable', and a few others. He didn't know if the conversation was still about him or something else, but the words carved themselves into his memory.

"See, Tobio-chan." Oikawa said, sliding his jacket back on, over his shoulders. "So stop bothering me, and stop bothering Iwa-chan. We'll graduate soon anyway and I won't have to see your stupid face anymore." Oikawa wrinkled his nose. "Now come on, it's getting late. I don't have all night."

"Okay." Maybe he should've been feeling something, devastation, anger, sadness, but he didn't feel anything. He felt numb all of a sudden he barely even registered Oikawa pulling him up from the ground when normally that would've made him feel incredibly happy.

"Do you have a ride home, Tobio-chan?"

For one of the first times in his entire life he lied, nodding. He didn't even know why, he just wanted to be alone. "Yes, my parents will be here soon." No one was coming. "Don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried." Oikawa scoffed. "But I'll wait until they come."

"You don't have to. It's dark out, you should get home."

"And leave my kohai in an abandoned gym while it's dark outside? You should know that's an accident waiting to happen."

Feeling coming back to him now, the first thing Kageyama felt was annoyance. Actual irritation like something he'd never felt before. "Fine, Oikawa-san, you win! No one is coming, now can you just leave so I can walk home!"

"Why do I have to leave?"

"Then I'll go!" Kageyama knew how childish he sounded, but he couldn't stop the whine and frustration in his tone. He felt even worse when Oikawa just smirked at him.

He gritted his teeth together and stomped out of the gym, the cool night air hitting him in the face. Outside the gym it was so dark, only faint twinkles of light were in the sky and he could hardly see anything in front of him. How late was it?

Oikawa headed out after him, shutting the lights off.

That sealed everything in complete darkness, black washing over everything, no longer even a shadow for him to see. "Um, Oikawa-san I don't…" Kageyama had no phone, and he didn't know the way back home well enough yet to do it in darkness, not that he even wanted to move he was so terrified.

"You don't what?" Oikawa asked mockingly.

"I don't have a phone… or anything. I don't know how to get home."

"Sounds like a you problem unless that's your way of asking for my help."

Help? No, Kageyama didn't need his help. Especially not after everything else that had happened tonight. "No, that won't be necessary, Oikawa-san. I don't need your help."

"Alright, well then I won't help you."

"Fine." Kageyama muttered.

They started walking off school grounds into the pitch black, one step at a time. Tobio jumped at every little noise and when he thought he saw something or even when his and Oikawa's arms brushed.

"Jumpy, huh?"

Kageyama couldn't even see him but he could hear the mock tone in his voice.

"I'm not that jumpy." Kageyama grumbled.

"Of course not, Tobio-chan." He could tell Oikawa was smirking.

He heard a sudden noise from a side street like something falling and nearly jumped out of his skin. "Afraid of the dark?" there was still that mocking tone.

"No!" yes he was. But he couldn't let Oikawa know that.

As they walked, it somehow got even darker and Tobio was becoming even more afraid. He wanted to ask Oikawa why he was still following him, but didn't want to risk the other leaving because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to put one foot in front of the other without him.

"Oikawa-san… why are you still following me?"

"I live down this way too, Tobio-chan. Geez, you really are a dense idiot."

Kageyama felt his cheeks grow hot because of the insult and he couldn't help but bite his lip.

"Um, Oikawa-san."

"Hm?"

"I don't know where I'm going."

Oikawa groaned, "See mother, this is why I need a phone." He heard Oikawa slap his forehead and groan. "I can't see shit."

"Maybe we can find a flashlight in a store?"

"Do you have any money?" Oikawa asked.

"No…"

"Then that means no flashlight I guess."

This was all Kageyama's fault, he just wanted to cry and curl up in a bed, never come out. "Do you recognize anything?"

"No." Kageyama managed to squeak out.

"Are you sure? Look around, Tobio."

Kageyama didn't want to look around. He could imagine things hiding in the dark, a pair of glowing eyes peering at him, sharp teeth being bared at him.

Kageyama did it though, looked around at the streetlamp a bit aways from them that lit up the space in front of him.

"Tobio?"

"I'm looking!" Kageyama snapped still gazing around the streets until he saw a bakery he recognized. A small one run by a lady trying to sell bread. He remembered it because she'd asked him if he wanted some. "Wait, I recognize that bakery over there. It's close to my house Oikawa-san!"

"Then let's go that way." Oikawa said and they practically ran towards the bakery, from there winding in and out of neighborhoods until Tobio came upon his house, all the lights still on, and he knew his parents were inside waiting for him.

"Thank you for walking me, Oikawa-san!"

"I already told you I live around here, idiot Tobio-chan."

"Oh, right! Sorry… um, will you get home okay?"

"I'll be fine, I'm just a couple blocks down, don't worry about me, Tobio-chan." Finally able to see Oikawa's face when he opened the door, the older boy had a fake grin on his face.

"Alright then, bye Oikawa-san!"

Oikawa didn't even wave and started off further down the block. Kageyama shut the door behind him and locked it, taking off his shoes before walking towards the kitchen.

His mother was cleaning and his father was sitting at the table, they both turned to stare at him when he came in.

Feeling pressured, he bowed nearly ninety degrees. "I'm sorry I'm late!"

His mother turned to him with a small smile, "Don't worry about it, dear, I assume you'll be home on time tomorrow?"

"Yes I will, I promise!"

"I know, you're a good boy, Tobio. Would you like dinner?"

"Um… yes please."

His mother took out some food from the refrigerator and reheated it. "How was your first day of practice?"

"It was good, mama."

"Remember, Tobio, don't just go up talking to strange kids, okay? You need to bring them home first and we will tell you if they're good for you."

Kageyama nodded. He remembered. The only thing was that no one had ever been good enough for them.

His father said nothing as he ate his meal, he didn't say anything to Kageyama all night long until it was time for him to go to bed.

"Goodnight, sweetie." His mother said, smiling politely.

"Goodnight." His father said, the one word he'd spoken all night long.

"Goodnight, mama, papa." Kageyama said and then went upstairs.

He brushed his teeth and then went in his room, stripping off his long-sleeved shirt. He hadn't looked at his arms for a couple days and now that he could see them, he saw them completely covered in writing.

It wasn't that, however, that made him pause. It was the words written on them.

I hate him Iwa-chan.

With those words, Kageyama couldn't help the tears that started to run down his cheeks.

He knew who his soulmates were.

And they didn't want him.

A/N What'd you think? Reviews and feedback welcomed!