Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.
This is my take on the show. Please, excuse any grammar errors.
"Do you understand why you are here, Zim?" the Almighty Tallest Purple, who Zim did not consider to be almighty at all, asked. He spat Zim's name as if it were something foul-tasting.
"Is it too much to hope that I am receiving an honorary medal for my services?" Zim smiled, knowing he had not been summoned to this meeting for a reward of any sort. He would be lucky if he was dismissed with both arms still attached to his being.
The "Almighty" Tallest Red slammed his fist against the table separating him from Zim. "Imbecile!" he yelled.
"Do not say such things about yourself," said Zim with an impudent grin.
Red held his green fingers up and slightly curled them as if he were imagining wrapping them around Zim's neck. Purple patted his back comfortingly. "Blink rapidly."
It was common knowledge that blinking at a quick rate helped Irkens calm themselves in stressful situations, which was why Irkens often blinked slowly or not at all in front of their superiors and comrades. It was a sign of composure and confidence.
After blinking quite a few times, Red began speaking again. "We are here to discuss your rebellious engagements."
"Such as?"
"We were informed of your flyers," he said, handing Zim one of the thousands of flyers he had created. It read:
INTELLIGENCE COMES FROM THE HEAD, NOT THE HEIGHT
Zim was impressed with himself for the memorable slogan. No doubt fellow Irkens would be shouting its truth all across the planet. Beneath the clever words was a drawing of two Irkens, one short and the other tall. A Transparent Ray—as in a ray gun that turned any items in its path transparent, not a ray gun that was actually transparent—was pointed in the direction of their heads, so their brains could be seen. It was shown that the shorter Irken's brain was large and thriving while the taller Irken's brain was inferiorly small and shriveled up.
Zim designed the flyer and made a mountain of copies. Afterwards he traveled around the area, leaving the flyers everywhere he could. Bathrooms, work stations. . .he even folded one up nicely and slipped into Purple's green slug sandwich.
"What seems to be the issue with them? I find them creative."
"The issue is that it completely defies our way of life!" Red exclaimed. "Every Irken is taught that the tallest hold superior intelligence."
"Exactly. They are taught that."
Purple frowned deeply. "What is it you dare imply? Research has already proved height increases the intelligence of the Irken."
"I do not deny that, Sir. However, I believe shorter Irkens can gain the same intelligence, if not greater, through work ethic."
Red chuckled in amusement. "Of course. As the shortest Irken on planet Irk, I am certain that fantasy helps boost your self-esteem."
It was true that Zim was the shortest Irken in Irk but only by three milliirkenmeters.
"Why not reserve your dreams for your own enjoyment? We do not need Irkens rebelling over a hierarchy that has been implemented in our society since the beginning of its formation."
"Sir, I am not even convinced that Irk has always been run by this current social system."
Purple laughed. "He is entertaining if nothing else."
Zim was growing impatient with these two. "I am not joking. I find myself to be quite intelligent, more intelligent than many of my superiors. Yet, I am not allowed to rise in position because of my height. Furthermore, us Service Drones are treated like dirt because of genetics we cannot control." Service Drones was the role given to the shorter Irkens, including Zim. They are burdened with demeaning tasks, hard labor, and little money. "Does this not present itself as unreasonable to you?"
"Zim, here on Irk, you are born powerful or powerless. And your height decides which you are. It is what gives you intelligence. You know this. We are prime examples of this truth," Purple explained, gesturing to himself and Red. "We are the tallest of the Irkens and coincidentally the most intelligent."
"If you two are the most intelligent, then. . ."
. . .then our planet is overrun with idiots.
". . .we are in great hands."
Zim bit back the insult in favor of a complement. He had only recently returned from probation on the planet Foodcourtia after "accidentally" tripping an Irken soldier. The soldier deserved it. The moron hit a Service Drone simply because he knew he would not be given punishment for it. The point was that Zim wanted to avoid more trouble than he had already made for himself.
"Zim," said Red, a serious tone to his voice, "this is your tenth violation. You have crossed the line far too many times. And nothing we do seems to effect you."
Purple chimed in. "Besides probation, we have arrested you on multiple occasions, had you fight in our arena for the entertainment of our soldiers, had you publicly humiliated in a variety of methods, and ordered other Irkens to treat you as an outcast, though we really did not have to do much to persuade them. It seems you are rather unpopular."
"I never noticed," Zim replied sarcastically.
"Therefore, we have decided on harsher punishment."
"But you have no proof that these flyers are mine."
Red scoffed. "That does not matter. We already know based on your antics in the past."
It appeared the Tallests were void of patience. He would have to be more discreet about his projects in the future.
Zim awaited the ruling in anticipation. Irkens were rarely executed, and his stunts were not severe enough for capital punishment. So he would walk away alive. However, he did not know what to expect.
Finally, Red spoke up. "Zim, you are exiled."
Zim coughed on his own spit. "I am sorry. I must have misheard."
"Then, allow me to repeat myself. You. Are. Exiled." He spoke slowly with a space in between each chilling word. The satisfied grin across his face annoyed Zim.
"Exiled? I have not caused a ruckus worthy of being exiled over."
"The little ruckus you do cause disrupts our way of life," argued Purple.
"Your entire existence disrupts our way of life," agreed Red. "You are useless to us, Zim. You have no purpose here."
"Do not think this is harsh?" asked Zim.
"What part of 'harsh punishment' did you not understand?"
Zim scrambled for an escape. "Wait! I can be a useful soldier. I am very capable of invading a planet. On my own even."
The Tallests stared at Zim, glanced at each other, then returned their eyes to the short Irken. They suddenly began bursting with loud, obnoxious laughter. Zim shook his head at their reaction. These were the Irkens in charge? It was no wonder why their economic stability and military victories had been plummeting.
"You!? An invader," squealed Purple.
"Invader Zim!" Red mocked. "A Service Drone an Invader. Have you ever heard such idiocy before? Hilarious! You of all Irkens invade a planet? Of your own accord? Ha!"
"I could!" insisted Zim. "Just give me the opportunity, and I could invade any planet you wanted!"
"I think we should accept his challenge," said Purple. "It sounds amusing enough. Very well. We are sending you to a dreary, dull planet called Earth. If you invade it successfully, we will give you the rank of your choice. If you fail, you remain on Earth forever. Stepping foot onto Irk will mean execution since you are no longer considered an Irken to us."
"Any rank of my choice?" questioned Zim. "What about the Tallests?"
The two Tallests stopped their grinning for a moment, but Red eventually began smiling once again. "Why not? It is not as though you will truly invade Earth anyway."
Zim would prove them wrong. He would prove every Irken wrong. Even if he was short, that did nothing to diminish his intelligence. And they would finally know it.
Planet Earth, prepare yourself. Because I will invade you.
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.
More coming soon.