Have I become an author who has a bunch of stories started but not finished... yeah, I guess I have. But I'm not stopping "Firsts" and "I'll Never Stop Loving You", so don't worry.

This story takes place RIGHT AFTER "The Christmas Episode." Kind of what I think the show is going towards for EO's relationship. A slow and steady climb. Will be from Liv's POV and will include the Wheatley arch and the few snippets from what we've seen for our upcoming January episode.

It's my first time doing a story like this because as you know, EO usually jumps into bed rather quickly but that's not what this story is about, well not yet anyway. Let me know what you think about this AND it would be great if maybe you guys decided which story I update next. Think I'm going to start some type of poll on my twitter or if you guys want to let me know in the comments.

AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT. Love y'all, always.

I'm nervous. Fuck, I'm more than nervous. So nervous, that I swear this is the fifth outfit I've tried on in the last hour, probably the tenth I've tried on since last night and God, why is this so difficult right now. I don't want to look like I tried to hard but I also don't want to look like I didn't try enough and yeah, this is what Elliot Stabler does to me now.

A friendship. That's what I had called it. A friendship for now. I know I want him. I've always wanted him and with the way he's been looking at me I know he wants me too. But we have so much history, so much shit to get through before we can take the next step. And I'm open, I'm open to working through it, as long as he works through it with me.

It's crazy for me to even be considering the possibility of being with Elliot in a romantic way. After so many years of him being off limits, so many years of him being gone, now to have a single him, a him that is no longer my partner, it's unbelievable. A year ago he was a memory that lived in the back of my mind, that came forward when I needed the blue of his eyes to keep me steady and now he's here. I can touch him, feel him, speak to him and if this progresses I may actually get to kiss him and more than that I may actually get to have sex with him. Jesus Christ. I may, finally, get to have sex with him and that thought alone causes my body to tingle.

I'm older, pushing 60 and with my hormones... my body just isn't the same anymore. Orgasms have become harder to achieve and before Burton, it had been SO long, that I hadn't realized how hard it had become. God, I hate that man and I kind of hate myself for falling for his games but as much as I hate him, he had made sure I come, even if it took forever.

But the way I feel around Elliot, the way my body feels warm and moist without him hardly even touching me, makes me think that maybe my hormones aren't as fucked as I think they are. Maybe, at my age, my body just wants the one person it's always wanted. And God, I've always wanted him.

"MOOOOOMMMM! Are you ready yet? I thought you said dinner was at 5? It's 4 already."

Shit! It's four already? Where the hell has the time gone? We're going to be late, for sure. Guess what I'm wearing now is going to have to do. Although I'm still not one hundred percent sold on the dark jeans, white sweater and tan boots, I'm going for it, I guess.

"Okay! Let's go!"

On the way to the car, Noah tells me I look pretty and what would I do without this child of mine. "Thanks, baby."

I swear he's never met any of the Stablers, while I've met them all minus the grandchildren, and I'm more nervous than he is. My hands are almost shaking while I drive and Jesus, I need to get it together.

When we pull up, I see Bell walking out of his front door and by the look on her face, I know that whatever she was in there for, was not good news. I get out fast enough to catch her, glancing back at Noah to ensure that he his safely getting out of the car, "What's wrong?"

"Wheatley was released."

"What?!" My voice is hushed, the last thing I need is to worry Noah. "I thought there was going to be a retrial."

"Yeah, well I guess there wasn't enough evidence the first time around and they didn't see a point bringing it forward again."

"Jesus." Kathy will never get justice. The Stablers will never get justice. Maybe now isn't the time for Noah and I to intrude. I'm not sure why I feel a pang of disappointment with that. As nervous as I am, I was kind of looking forward to Noah and Elliot meeting.

"I'm ready, mom," Noah says and I glance down at him, glance back at Bell and when she nods and begins to walk away, I take a deep breath.

"You know, baby. Right now might not be the best..."

"Liv!"

Elliot. My eyes snap up at the sound of his voice and there he is, in his nice red button down shirt and tie, already walking towards us. Okay, well I guess we're not going anywhere.

"Is that Elliot?" Noah asks.

"Yes, it is. Come on."

We meet him halfway, my hand draped over Noah's shoulders. "Hey, thanks for coming." He's smiling but it's a sad smile and I want to ask him if we should go. It's Christmas and Noah, I, was really looking forward to laughing all night. But before I can say anything, he's kneeling down to Noah's level. "Hi, I'm Elliot."

Noah accepts his extended hand quickly, "Hi! I'm Noah."

"It's really nice to meet you."

"You too. Mom told me you used to be her partner. Back when she was a detective."

"I was and she was the best detective I've ever known. Best Captain too."

"Yeah, she's pretty awesome."

"She is."

I feel the blush in my cheeks. These two gloating over me is not something I'm used to.

"So, what do you say? Ready to meet the rest of the Stabler clan?" Elliot asks Noah and I can't help my smile when Noah nods enthusiastically.

My boy leads the way to the door and I take the small moment to touch basis with the man next to me. My hand reaches out to touch his arm because this is what we do now. We touch. "Are you okay? The kids? Bell told me..."

He takes a deep breath and when he stops the movement of his feet, I stop mine. "Umm, it's hard for all of us. I just want justice for Kathy, you know?"

"I know."

"But it's Christmas and everyone is here and I want today to be joyful. So do the kids. We all know I'm not going to stop. I just need you, the kids, safe. You know what Wheatley is capable of."

That I do know. That I really know. And the thought scares me some. At this point Richard Wheatley probably knows I have a son. "I do. But we just have to make sure we keep them safe, that we keep one another safe."

He smiles at that. Yes, El, I will still protect you with my life, just like I know you will protect me with yours. "We will."

"Should we go? Noah and I? I don't want to..."

"Mom! Elliot!"

I look up at him and smile slightly. He's waiting patiently by the door for us and God, he's going to be so upset if the Stablers would rather not have us here today.

But then I hear Elliot, "No, of course not. Everyone is looking forward to seeing you and meeting Noah."

Okay. As much as I don't think it's the best idea, I follow him to the door, fix one of Noah's curls on the way through, earning me that look of disapproval he gives me when I still treat him like a baby, and walk into the house after Elliot.

Everyone is sad, I can tell. But Elliot has two four year old grandchildren, twin boys, and everyone is trying to keep a happy look on their face. Bernie is the first to see us and instead of coming straight towards me like I think she's going to, she goes straight towards Noah.

"Oh my goodness! Look at you. Those eyes!"

I smile. Yeah, he's a cutie. I know.

"I'm Noah," Noah says and when he holds his hand out for Bernie to take, the woman wraps her arms around his body instead. He seems surprised at first, but he eventually wraps his arms around her as well.

"We're family here, Noah. We give hugs." Family. My eyes drop to my feet and the feeling of Elliot's hand on the small of my back makes my eyes drift to his quickly. "I'm Bernie. Elliot's mom."

"It's nice to meet you."

"You too, Noah. You too."

She still hasn't released him and Elliot shakes his head lightly at his mother. I'm glad she's around them now. Around this. Being surrounded by family is exactly what she needs.

"Okay, grandma. There's still a whole crew back here," Kathleen says.

She laughs, "Right, sorry dear."

She lets him go with one more pat to his back and as soon as she's up straight, all the other Stablers are lining up to greet him. And then Bernie's arms are around me and I accept the hug gratefully. Something about being here, in this moment, with Noah and all of the Stablers has my eyes glossing over. I never thought this was going to happen, ever.

"I'm glad you guys could make it."

"Me too, Bernie."

And then she's stepping back from me, not far, but enough to run her eyes along my whole posture. "You're still so beautiful, you know that?"

Okay. I was definitely not expecting that. I'm about to speak, about to say thank you but...

"Isn't she still so beautiful, Elliot?"

Jesus Christ. Leave it to the woman to create the first awkward situation. I hear him chuckle nervously beside me and with the way things are progressing between us, it kind of irritates me. It's not a crime to compliment me, unless he doesn't think...

"Yeah, she is."

Well, I definitely need to slow my fucking thoughts down before the man even has time to answer. I feel my blush once more and son of a bitch. The first time the man calls me beautiful and he's going to do it in front of his whole family. I look at him sideways; almost smirk at the nervous smile on his face and say, "Thank you."

The rest of the clan greets me much in the same way, with hugs. The older Stabler kids know me. They remember me. They understand, some, the dynamics of their father and I's relationship. Eli, not so much and I can feel the distance he is trying to put between us. I don't blame him, for any a boy who just lost his mother, a new woman hanging around is not going to be his favorite idea. So when he doesn't go in for a hug, I reach out and rub his arm lightly. "Hey."

"Hi." Short but he doesn't step away from me.

"How you doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

I nod. "Your father will never stop fighting for her."

"I know."

I offer him one last smile, one more rub of his arm before he steps away from me. And then I'm kneeling down to the eye level of the two young boys I have yet to meet. Maureen's sons, Elliot and Kathy's grandchildren. "Christopher and Samuel," Maureen says, pointing to each boy as she says their names.

"Hi, Christopher and Samuel. I'm Olivia. It's nice to meet you."

"Are you a cop too?" Samuel asks.

"I am."

"Olivia is a Captain," Maureen follows.

"What does that mean?" Christopher asks, his eyes solid on mine.

I smile, "Means I outrank your Grandpa." Even though I'm pretty sure the boys don't understand that either, everyone else laughs, including Elliot. "It means I run a whole unit. I have a whole crew of detectives under my watch. Like how grandpa is a detective?" They nod. "I'm the boss."

"So, your Grandpa's boss?"

"Sort of. Grandpa works under another Captain though. So I'm not directly his boss."

"Ohhh, well can you tell him stop throwing the ball in the house? He keeps breaking our building."

I laugh and stand back up to look Elliot in his eyes, "Stop throwing the ball in the house, detective."

The humor in his eyes is nice to see and I love that he's as fond of kids as I am, of course he is, he has five of them, "Will do, Captain."

I wink at the two young boys and when they say thank you and run back to their magnetic building I laugh once more.

"Mom. Can I play too?"

"Yeah, have fun." I watch Noah walk up to the younger boys, watch him ask if he can build too, watch him sit next to them and God, my heart is so full right now. I'm so consumed in watching the boys play that I jump slightly when Elliot's hand lands on my shoulder.

"Sorry," he offers, sliding the strap of my purse off my shoulder. I let him take it, don't question him when he does the same with my coat and turn my body to watch him hang them both on the hook next to the front door. "You want a glass of wine?" He asks me as he makes his way towards me again.

"Please." Bernie and Kathleen are busy setting the table, Elizabeth is pulling a ham out of the oven, and this is what the holidays look like with a big family. He side steps around the girls, grabs two glasses out of the cupboard, a bottle of wine out of the fridge and then comes to stand at the counter closest to me. I step closer to him and accept the glass of wine he hands to me. "Thank you."

He nods, "To friends."

I almost laugh. Almost. "For now." Because there's no denying this anymore.

He grins like a teenager and that causes me to laugh, "For now."

Kathleen chooses this time to announce that dinner is ready and I glance at the big table set. I'm not sure where Noah and I are supposed to sit.

"Come on. You can sit next to me and Noah will sit next to you."

This man. Still always knows what I'm thinking. "Okay," I whisper.

Dinner is full of laughter and stories from everyone. From Elliot's childhood, to pieces of our partnership that the kids remember, to Maureen's birth story of the boys, to Noah's upcoming dance recital. And it's nice, so nice. To be accepted fully by them. Even though they just lost the most important woman in their lives, that the man responsible has been released, they still accept Noah and I wholeheartedly and when dinner is done, everyone begins to migrate outside to play soccer.

We all know with my ankle, I am not playing soccer, so I offer to stay behind with Bernie to help clean up. Although she tries to deny my help, I insist anyways and once we're alone, both of us gathering dishes off the table, she speaks, "He still feels the same way he always has about you, you know."

Oh Jesus. Here we go. "Bernie..."

"I'm just saying, he's never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. That look, it's reserved for you, Olivia."

That look. The same look he gave me when I was lying on the ground in that bus terminal, when he asked me about my dating history, when he asked me over for dinner. The look that gives me butterflies in my tummy, makes my breathing quicken, makes that warmth spread throughout my body. I'm about to deny it but I really don't want to. I don't want to deny this thing between us anymore. I'm not saying I'm going to jump into bed with him tomorrow, probably not even within the next couple months because this, us, needs work. Needs major work for me to really trust him again. But I can acknowledge, for the first time, that I may eventually fall into bed with him.

"I like that look," I whisper. Because, I do. I always have.

"Of course you do, honey. Any woman would."

My eyes lift to glance out the big windows to the terrace and I smile widely when I see him lift Noah in the air to bypass the block of Eli's body to get to the ball. His eyes find mine and God, that look.

"You guys are going to make a beautiful couple," Bernie says.

My eyes find hers, "Bernie..."

"When you guys are ready, of course. I'm just saying, you're his person, Olivia. And if I'm right, he is yours."

I nod because if I speak, I may actually cry. And there is no way I'm risking Elliot seeing me crying right now.

He chooses that moment to walk back into the house and like clockwork; Bernie chooses that moment to walk out. This woman. She's either going to be our savior or going to kill us. There's absolutely no in between.

Elliot eyes her suspiciously on the way out and when he looks at me with question, I shrug my shoulders and turn my attention back to the dishes in the sink.

"You don't have to do those, we'll take care of them," he says as he grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Well, I can't very well be playing soccer. I'm bound to break my ankle again."

"You don't have to play. You can sit out there and watch."

"I will. Just let me do some of these. Help your mom out some."

He seems to accept that and leans against the counter opposite of me. Stares out the window to the group of kids and adults playing soccer. "So, where's his dad?"

I turn abruptly then, my hands still wet from the sink water, "Really? Another interrogation about my dating history?"

He laughs, much like he did at the hospital, "It's not an interrogation, it's a question. But I did want to apologize about the courthouse incident."

I raise my eyebrows at him. Please continue your apology, Elliot Stabler. Trust me, I am listening.

"You asked me about Angela and I dodged it, told you it wasn't your business and then asked who you had dated."

"Yeah, you're an asshole like that sometimes." A big asshole.

He nods. "I am. Angela, she didn't, she doesn't, mean anything. She was just someone who I felt shared my pain."

"And what? You fell in love with her in the process?" Because she had said she fell in love with him.

His eyes are harsh on mine with that question, "I did not fall in love with her. I never even came close to feeling anything deep for that woman."

I nod because he's telling me the truth. I know he's telling me the truth. I always know when he's telling me the truth. "And Flur? Flutura?" God, what a stupid fucking name.

His eyes drop from mine then and my shoulders slump some but he's quick to raise them back to mine, "I did what I had to do to get what I needed. But I didn't fall in love with her either, if that's what you're really asking me."

Is that what I'm really asking him? I take a deep breath, glance out the window to Noah showing Kathleen one of his dance moves and smile, "He's adopted. I found him in a drawer on a case. I just knew, knew he belonged to me. Knew I loved him and the judge knew too. Gave me a chance to foster. Had a few hiccups in the adoption process but I got him in the end."

"That's amazing, Liv. He definitely belongs with you. He's a great kid."

"He is, isn't he?" My eyes leave my curly haired boy, to find his blue eyes once more, "He's more than I ever dreamed for."

He smiles at that, steps closer to me and places both of his hands on my biceps, "You're any amazing mother. I always knew you would be."

Fuck these goddamn emotions right now because when his thumb catches that pesky tear that falls out of my right eye, I laugh lightly. "Thank you."

"You still set on doing those dishes."

I roll my eyes, "Yes, I am."

"Okay, if you say so." I think he's going to walk outside once more, so I start to turn my body back towards the dishes, but then, "Is there anything else? Anything else that happened while I was gone that I should know about?"

"Elliot..." There is. Of course there is. But I'm not ready to talk about it and he's definitely not ready to hear it. So that conversation needs to be saved for a specific time, when we're both ready to have it. "We'll get there, El."

I know he wants to object, I know he wants to know but he seems to respect the answer. The answer that someday, I will tell him. "Okay, Liv."

And then he gives me that look, a smile, waits until I smile back and heads back out the terrace door. I laugh at him attempting to do the twirl that Noah just did and Jesus, this is

just the beginning. Because for now we're friends but only for now.