Chapter 1

Sitting in that crowded bus, Jess couldn't really focus on what he was reading. Putting down the book wasn't an option, because if he did, his mind would replay yesterday's yelling match with Luke again. Even if he managed to push that down, the harrowing thoughts Luke had planted in his mind about the future were stuck.

'What's your life now? Walmart, full time?' Luke had scoffed at him, 'That's your great future? Gonna take the plunge and buy yourself a second blue vest?'

He winced as he pushed the yelling in his head down. He realized he'd lost his place in the book again. It was probably a bad idea to read Dickens at a time like this anyway. Maybe he can stop at a bookstore or something along the way. Way to where though? Not that Liz hadn't kicked him out before, but back then he was always sure it was temporary or that he had a place to sleep while she calmed down. With Luke, it felt different, more definitive and real. He'd have to get a job and find a permanent place to stay. If he didn't find a job, how long would his savings get him? He'd always planned on leaving Stars Hollow and he knew he should be feeling exhilarated at starting life on his own terms, but instead, all he felt was dread as the image of him sleeping next to a dumpster materialized in his head. He looked out the window, trying to find any mundane distraction. As he looked around, his eyes widened as they met Rory's by the bus door.

He sighed as she came over to the back of the bus. He had so much he knew he should say to her, but his mind went completely blank, as it so often did around her. He'd made up conversations in his head to try and say goodbye; sometimes they ended with her slapping his face, other times with her walking away, but worst of all, sometimes the Rory in his head gave him the same disappointed look she'd given him in real life, at Kyle's party.

'So what's been going on?' He heard himself say, hoping he sounded nonchalant. He'd tried to avoid meeting her today, had carefully checked the bus schedules and deliberately taken a later bus, but now that she was here, he realized how much he'd missed her.

'Nothing much. Fran died. I went to her funeral yesterday.' Rory said.

He tried to keep the conversation going. He wanted to hear her talking, and it gave him an excuse to memorize her face one last time. 'Luke went, too.'

'Yeah, I saw him there.'

'Yeah?'

'He was in the back.'

Jess nodded slowly, hoping to find something else to say. He realized he was staring at her for a moment too long, taking in her ocean-blue eyes, the blush in her cheeks, her lips… He looked away at his hands again. Should he say goodbye? Sorry? Nothing seemed right to him and he knew words never came out the way he wanted them anyway. He couldn't bear to stay silent, so he just said, as evenly as he could, 'I can't go to the prom.'

She looked up at him, not surprised, nor angry. She looked like she'd expected it and the extent of her low expectations stung him.

'I couldn't get tickets.' He said lamely.

'Oh,' was all she said, though he didn't think she really believed that, or maybe she just didn't care.

'Sorry.' He said hesitantly, wishing he could say something more elaborate. He had a lot more to apologize for, but after the way he'd yelled at her at Kyle's party and after the fight with Dean, she probably thought he was a lost cause anyway.

She was looking out the window, away from him. Maybe she'd already gotten over him and stopped caring at all. Maybe it's for the best she hadn't spotted his duffel bag, so at least that was something. His mind was still racing for something to say, anything that might argue he wasn't the screwup he was proving to be, but his thoughts became a whirlwind of senseless buzzing. All too soon, the bus slowed as she announced, 'This is my stop.'

He nodded, 'okay.' His heart was beating in his throat. This is the end of them. She'll leave now and he won't see her again. Maybe not ever.

As she got up to leave, she looked at him one last time and asked, 'You'll call me?'

Jess felt the tiniest spark in his gut, and responded, 'Yeah, I'll call you.'

As she made her way out of the bus, away from him, his heart was beating too loudly, too erratically. Before he could fully comprehend it, an irrational thought took hold of him. Jess wasn't the guy who ever knew what to say or when to say it. He was the silent glare guy, the monosyllable guy, the runaway-first-then-think kind of guy. But this was Rory and at that moment, he could see her back in her bedroom the very first time they'd met, saying, 'don't I look trustworthy?'

The irrational thought won and took control, as he blurted, 'Rory, wait.'

He got up and grabbed her arm, making her jerk away unexpectedly. He leaned in closer and whispered, 'Stay… Stay with me. Please.'

Her blue eyes were wide, so much like the first time they'd met. His favorite shade of blue, the bluest blue he'd ever seen. She was looking at him, her eyes searching his face and fleeting to the bus door. He closed his eyes as the bus doors started to shut, sure she wasn't going to be there when he opened them. He wasn't even breathing anymore. Maybe it was for the best, clean break, no drama, minimum damage.

The bus started moving again with a loud whir that jerked him back. As he exhaled, he realized his hand was still clutching Rory's arm. And she was still very much there. Unsmiling, maybe even scowling, but she'd stayed.

AN: This is a first attempt at a story. I've been rewatching the show and had some strong feelings about the way Jess left. Please let me know what you think!