A Dramatic Ridonculous Race

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

With Chris McLean rotting in prison, it seems like the era of Total Drama has come to an end. However, numerous contestants flock to other shows, and some find themselves in yet another race around the world, and they'll make some new friends along the way. Some of them may even find love.

1. None Down, 18 to Go, Part 1

(None Down, 18 to Go, Part 1)

A new race around the world was about to start, as the host of the race in question appeared to sign onto the show "We'll be starting things off in Toronto, the capital of North America, the birthplace of funk where the albino panther is known to roam free. Beneath my manly size-13 brogues is where 18 teams of two are going to be arriving at a certain historic train station, ready to embark on a race around the world. I'm your host Don, and this is… the Ridonculous Race!"

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One intro sequence later…

"First off, let me welcome all of you to the Ridonculous Race." once the intro was over, Don made his way down in front of the train station to start the race "Right now, 18 teams of two from across the country are preparing themselves to embark on a race to the death- Wait hold that thought for a second." he tapped his earpiece "Wait, so not to the death? I could've sworn- Nevermind, I'll fix it and they'll probably edit it out. Anyway, it's time for us to meet the 18 teams of two that won't be racing to the death." though the suspicious wink he gave said otherwise.

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"The first team we have here is Carrie and Devin, lifelong Best Friends."

"Devin and I met in the sandbox when we were little, and the two of us haven't spent a single day apart since then." Carrie explained "If there's anyone that has what it takes to win this race, then it has to be us."

"Yeah, I know Carrie so well that it's like the two of us are meant for each other." Devin glanced over at Carrie, and the two of them locked eyes as she started blushing, until he quickly broke the awkward silence "So uh, you doing another one of those lint checks again?"

"What? Oh yeah, win the race!"

"Yeah!"

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"Our second team consists of Kelly and Taylor, our mother & daughter team."

"Well of course we're going to win." Taylor let out a scoff "So first of all, I'm like really hot and stuff in case that wasn't obvious enough, and second, I'm the best there is at what I do, which is pretty much everything, so unless my mom goes ahead and screws it up, we're totally gonna win this whole race."

"Not to mention that Taylor and her friends when I hang out with them." Kelly added "They call me the cool mom, and we're so close that people usually mistake us for sisters."

"...Wait what?"

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"Our third team consists of Emma and Kitty, the actual sisters."

"I'm actually studying international law at university." Emma's almost permanent frown grew a little bit deeper as she turned towards the camera "I think that's going to give the two of us a real edge in this competition, which is good because we're here to win."

"And we're here so the two of us can see the world." Kitty pointed out "Not to mention take the chance to meet hot guys and have a ton of fun."

"Yeah sure, if there's time for that sort of thing, which there definitely won't be, so we're gonna be focused on winning okay?" she was met with a sigh "Okay good."

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"Our fourth team consists of Crimson and Ennui, these two are exceptionally pale goth teens that are in this race for reasons unknown."

An ominous lightning suddenly flashed overhead of the two of them, all the while neither of them spoke a single word, which made it even more unnerving.

"...Okay, that's just unnerving as all hell. Moving on!"

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"Team 5 consists of Owen and Noah, a pair of seasoned reality TV participants."

"Oh yeah this is awesome!" Owen held up a hand to Noah "Don't leave me hanging."

"No." was all Noah said.

"Okay then. Anyway, Noah and I met back when we were on Total Drama, and the two of us have been on tons of other reality shows since then. All sorts of things like Meltdown Kitchen and Scare Tractor, and we even went on Fashionista Flip Flop."

"I still have no idea how he got on that one."

"Yeah well, I'm just so psyched to be reunited with my little buddy! Come here!" he promptly pulled Noah into a literally bone-crushing hug, earning a squeal of pain and a series of sickening cracks "Hey Noah you okay? I'm pretty sure your face is supposed to turn blue."

"Lacking… oxygen…"

"Do you need mouth to mouth? Okay, I guess I gotta pucker up-"
"NO!"

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"Our sixth team consists of Mickey and Jay, a set of identical twins who are used to overcoming adversity in many forms, many of which no one has ever heard of. For the record, Mickey is the one in the helmet, I feel like that's important to point out."

"The two of us have definitely been through a lot, but we're not cursed." Mickey's tone was firm and unwavering "We're whatever comes right before being cursed, that describes the two of us to a T."

"Yeah, like this one time when I was six." Jay pointed out "I fell into the nest of a burrowing owl and one of the owls flew into my hear, and to this day everything I hear on that side sounds like an owl hooting."

"In any case, the two of us are constantly fighting adversity, and we're overcoming it."

"Oh sorry, you're gonna have to switch sides. All I hear is the hooting noises over and over again over here." and then the luggage compartment above them opened up and all of the luggage fell out, causing it to spill all over them.

"Ow."

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"Team 7 consists of Cameron and Lightning. One of them has brains, the other one has brawn, and they claim that the two of them together will go all the way. Whether that claim is true or not, I suppose only time will tell."

"Competing in a race around the world does seem to be very advantageous." Cameron glanced over at the camera "Lightning and I met on the fourth season of Total Drama, and the two of us had actually competed against each other in the finale as well."

"And Lightning so would've won that, but the last match was rigged and he ended up losing to the smart guy over there." Lightning scowled and pointed at Cameron, which caused him to shy away from him somewhat "That million dollars should've been mine!"

"I did give you a portion of the prize money before we parted ways."

"Yeah and Lightning admits that was pretty cool of ya, but Lightning still say that the challenge was rigged. Lightning only agreed to do this race with smart guy so that he could prove that he can win it all himself, without anyone cheating and without anyone's help!" and then he promptly walked off, anger still radiating off of him.

"Yes, well…" Cameron cringed as he watched Lightning walk away "I do feel rather sympathetic towards him, given how I know he had some stakes in the finale and felt a significant amount of shame when he lost, and since then I noticed how he's become rather bitter over it, so I approached him and suggested that the two of us combine our capabilities, and together we can claim victory in this race, or at least get far enough that he lets go of this resentment he's holding onto."

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"Team 8 consists of Josee and Jacques, a pair of professional Ice Dancers."

"We already know how to claim the gold in this race." Josee's tone was rather smug, which was contrasted by the creepy smiles that she and Jacques wore "We've already won gold everywhere after all, at least everywhere except for the Olympics. We almost had it, but Jacques ended up dropping me and we only won the silver-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" and then Jacques ran away crying.

"Jacques wait! Silver is his least favorite color."

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"Team 9 consist of Geoff and Bridgette, a pair of summercamp sweethearts and resident surfer couple."

"Oh yeah, going around the world on someone else's dime is totally sweet!" Geoff gave a wide grin as he put an arm around Bridgette's waist "And there's no one else I'd rather do it with than the coolest girl I've ever met?"

"I'm with you all the way babe!" Bridgette gave a smile as she kissed him on the cheek, then turned towards the camera "Geoff and I met back on Total Drama Island, and we even got to host the Aftermath in Action and World Tour, which had its… ups and downs."

"But it was still a ton of fun."

"Oh yeah definitely, but the thing is that neither of us really got a solid chance to compete on a show like this since Total Drama Island, and since the opportunity presented itself, I figured it would be a lot of fun. Plus my sister is actually on one of the other teams, so I figured that would be another plus too."

"Like I said, nobody I'd rather do this with than my best girl here. Plus my bros Duncan and DJ both had stuff going on, but either way it's G and B for the W-I-N, and you guys know what that spells right? Victory!"

"...Geoff?"

"Yeah?"

"That spells win, not victory."

"Oh. Well we're going to the top either way!" and then they started making out.

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"Also competing in the rase is Team 10, consisting of Dwayne and Dwayne Jr, our Father and Son team."

"I usually have to spend a lot of time at the old office." Dwayne gave a shrug "So I figured that getting the chance to do this race might be a perfect chance for Junior and me to squeeze in a little bit of father and son bonding time, am I right kiddo?"

"Uh yeah sure, whatever you say dad." Junior rolled his eyes and glanced around "Hey by the way, are there gonna be any other kids my age in this thing?"

"Oh, uh… I have no idea."

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"Our eleventh team consists of Trent and Leshawna, two designated and well known performers and self-proclaimed masters of their crafts. See, stuff like this is why letting the teams write their own cards is a bad idea."

"What's up yall, Leshawna's in the house." Leshawna gave a smirk as she glanced over at the camera "This ain't the first reality show I've been on, I did three seasons of Total Drama and it's how I met a bunch of others, like my girl Gwen and my sugar baby Harold."

"Yeah, I did a few seasons of Total Drama myself…" Trent cringed at the memories of it, but then he gave a smile "Granted I had my ups and downs, but all in all I did enjoy my time on the show, and I got to meet a lot of cool people. It's been awhile since I had a solid chance to compete on a show like this, and I thought it might be fun. I'm kind of surprised Leshawna came to me to be her partner in the race though."

"I figured I kind of owed you." Leshawna gave a shrug "Truth be told, it was kind of my fault that you got kicked off back on the island. Plus Harold said that his mad skills were needed somewhere more important and that he had faith in my mad skills to win it all." she let out a sigh "Yeah, that's my sugar baby alright."

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"Team 12 consists of Lorenzo and Chet, two new stepbrothers who hate each other with a burning passion."

"My dad went and married his mom last year, but the two of us still hate each other like we hate Teen Titans Go." Lorenzo let out a snarl "So now the two of them are making us do this stupid race because they think we're gonna learn to get along, those bunch of jerks."

"Hey watch it!" Chet shoved him away "Don't call my mom a jerk you jerk!"

"Why don't you do the world a favor and shut your wordhole ya jerk!" and then the two of them started beating the crap out of each other.

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"Team 13 consists of Tom and Jen, a pair of highly attractive fashion bloggers with taste that's so impeccable, it shouldn't even be physically possible. Again, letting the teams write their own cards is a bad idea."

"Hey hey!" Jen waved at the camera "We're giving a big shoutout to all of the people out there that follow our blog, so be sure to follow the race and wish the two of us luck."

"I made this bet with Jen that we could totally win this race." Tom gave a shrug "But I didn't think that she would actually take me up on it."

"That's just the way I am, I put my mind to something and then it happens."

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"Team 14 consists of Rock and Spud, the self-proclaimed Rockers from some band that they called Devil Frog, whatever the heck that means."

"Truth be told, I wasn't sure we were gonna be here." Rock gave a shrug "Spud wasn't really sure about going through with this race, seeing how he's not super fit or smart or really good at much of anything except for rocking out like it's hot. But I told the guy not to worry, and that he could just go ahead and rock it out like we always do, and I'd carry him all the way." and then the two of them started rocking out, despite there not being any music.

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"Team 15 consists of Laurie and Miles, two of the most granola loving hippy dippy friends that you'll ever meet in this country or any other."

"We have good reasons for wanting to win." Laurie turned to face the camera "Once we win, we're going to to donate the prize to our favorite charities."

"Those would include saving the hunchback walrus, supporting the goat milking eco warriors, people for the ethical treatment of ants…" Miles listed off and let out a sigh "There are so many great causes to choose from."

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"Team 16 consists of Ellody and Mary, a pair of scientific geniuses who claim that they're going to use their winnings to support the scientific community."

"Astrophysics is notoriously underfunded." Ellody was quick to elaborate "Reality television is also notorious for offering monetary prizes, and therefore our conundrum will be solved once we achieve victory."

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"Team 17 consists of Leonard and Tammy, two very dedicated LARPers, or Live Action Role Players, whatever the hell that means."

"We have been training for when this momentous day would come." Leonard adjusted the hood and fake beard he was wearing "Therefore with Tammy by my side and the new spells she keeps in her arsenal, huzza! The time has come for us to claim the Dragon's Eye, and that's dwarvish for 1 million dollars for those of you who don't understand our craft." he received a reply in the form of Tammy playing her ocarina.

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"Our eighteenth and final team in this race consists of Gerry and Pete, a pair of retired pro tennis players and friendly rivals."

"The two of us are both very competitive, but for half a million each…" Gerry gave a shrug "Well I'd have to say game on for something like that."

"Yeah and who knows, maybe we'll get some new sponsorships." Pete let out a chuckle "If there's anyone out there that needs a pitchman for those senior laxative commercials…"

"Go ahead and call his agent." the two of them let out a chuckle, and then both of them started snickering.

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Several team introductions later…

"Right this way teams, over here for the start of the race." once the introductions were finally out of the way, Don gathered the 18 teams at the starting line in front of the train station "First off, allow me to welcome all of you to the Ridonculous Race. This train station serves as the starting line for your 26-part race around the world. Each leg of the race will be ending at what we refer to as a Chill Zone, and you'd better get there fast because the last team to stand on the Carpet of Completion may very well be cut from the competition. But the first team to stand on the carpet of the final chill zone will win our grand prize, which just so happens to be one million dollars!" he was met with a series of cheers from everyone present, the only exceptions to this being Noah and the Goths "Now if you'll take a look over here." he gestured to a small box that looked exactly like him "This is our Ridonculous Tip Box, which is also known as the Don Box. When you find one of these, you'll have to press the red button on top to get the travel tips that will lead you through this race around the world. Ready teams?"

"Ready." the 18 teams got into running positions.

"On your marks… get set… RACE! Wait no no no, not the face, not the hair!" Don was forced to try and protect himself as the teams took off running past him, leaving him to almost be trampled by them as a result.

Trent and Leshawna were the first ones to reach the Don Box and grab a tip "It says here that we have to race on foot to the CN tower and then find the Don Box to get the next tip."

"You read the tip white boy, now let's move!" in a burst of strength, Leshawna slung Trent over her shoulder as she took off running, with several other teams following behind them "I can see the tower plain as day up ahead."

"And just wait, here comes the competition." Jacques and Josee were quick to catch up with them and try to make a move for the lead.

"Wait what, where?" Dwayne glanced back as they were running, only to end up tripping on a trash can in front of them, which caused it to fly through the air and land on the Ice Dancers, which left them stuck in it "Oh sorry, that's totally my bad!"

"Oh, that looks rather uncomfortable." Cameron stopped to check on the Ice Dancers, along with the Surfers, much to the clear annoyance of Lightning "Are you two okay?"

"But of course, we are Champions after all." the Ice Dancers promptly lifted the trash can off and threw it into the air as they gracefully took off, leaving it to fall on Lightning instead.

"Lightning are okay?"

"Lightning's going to the Superbowl! SHABAM!" Lighning promptly took off running with the trash can still on his head.

"...This is going to be a long race." Cameron shared a look with Geoff and Bridgette, and then he let out a sigh as he took off after Lightning.

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At the CN tower…

"There's the Don Box!" once they reached the tower, Bridgette and Geoff were the first ones to reach a Don Box and grab a tip, with the Ice Dancers following close behind, the same with Father and Son "It says we have to do something called an Either Or."

"What does that mean-" Geoff was cut off when Lightning suddenly bolted onto the scene and slammed into a nearby pole "Uh… so what's an Either Or?"

"It's giving us a choice about which one to do."

"Cool, so what do we go for?"

"Let's see here…"

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"If the name of the challenge is any indication, an Either Or provides teams with the choice of having to complete one of two different challenges in order to advance. In this case, they will either have to climb up 144 flights of stairs to reach the tallest observation deck in the world, which is just under 1 billion stairs, or they can pick the Scares option, in which they can take the elevator up to the observation deck, but then they have to get the scare of a lifetime by doing a skywalk all the way around the outside of the tower. Not to worry though, we are going to be proving them with helmets, and as an extra precaution, we had a safety rail installed. It broke though, so I wouldn't put all my hopes on that. The teams will have to finish either task and then find the local guide to receive their next tip."

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With the 18 teams…

"144 flights of stairs or walking around the outside of a tower?" Trent shuddered at the thought and glanced over at Leshawna "Yeah, I'm thinking the stairs."

"You seem pretty freaked out." Leshawna raised an eyebrow "You okay white boy?"

"You remember back at Wawanakwa during that extreme sports challenge? When I had to go up on that plane with DJ and jump out of it?"

"Yep, why?" and then she remembered every detail of that day "Oh… right."

"Yeah, I hit the ground and broke every bone in my body. I haven't been the best with heights ever since."

"You jumped out of a plane back during World Tour."

"And screamed like a 5 year old girl all the way down. Bottom line is, I pick stairs."

"Alright white boy, but I'm not carrying you this time."

"I'd rather you didn't anyway." and so they took off into the tower.

"Scares, we're doing scares." the Fashion Bloggers and the Stepbrothers both picked the Scares option, though the latter team began fighting over the tip.

"Lightning ain't afraid of no scares, Lightning says we do the stairs!" Lightning lifted the trash can off his head, only to end up crashing into the pole again.

"I suppose that means we'll be doing the stairs." Cameron let out a sigh, then glanced over at the Adversity Twins "What about the two of you?"

"We honestly have to do the stairs." Jay told him "You see, Mickey tends to get nosebleeds when he goes up too high too fast, and that makes it pretty tough to take flights of any kind or go up really tall towers. He's also prone to papercuts, so I have to hold the tips. All in all, the two of us are pretty fragile."

"I understand that feeling, I spent 16 years growing up in a bubble. I would prefer to do the scares due to my lack of athletic capabilities, but given my partner's stubborn nature…" they glanced over to where Lightning was trying to force his way through a wall "Along with other factors, I don't have much of a choice myself."

"So you know our pain?"

"To a certain extent."

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Meanwhile, with the Father & Son team…

"Alright, we're the first ones in! Way to go Junior, give me a high five!" once they were inside the elevator, Dwayne reached to give Junior a high five, only to stumble and end up hitting the button panel instead, causing it to spark and activate all of the buttons "Uh… Oops. You know for such a skinny tower, it definitely has a lot of floors."

"Whatever dad, let's just switch to stairs." Junior rolled his eyes as he and Dwayne made their way out of the elevator, right before the Surfers, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers and Fashion Bloggers bolted into it.

"Hey what gives, who pushed all the buttons?" Geoff was the first one to notice the big problem with the buttons.

"Or we could just wait, this will probably still be faster." Jen pointed out, only for the other teams to bolt out of the elevator, leaving only her and Tom remaining "Like I said, it's probably still gonna be faster."

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Meanwhile, on the stairs…

"If anyone asks then we chose stairs, it was always stairs and we never set one foot inside of the elevator." by this point, Dwayne and Junior had taken to climbing the stairs, with the Adversity Twins following right behind him.

"Time to see Lightning strike you suckers faster than you can blink, SHABAM!" Lightning on the other hand was bolting past them into the lead, with Cameron clinging onto his back as tightly as he could, and Trent and Leshawna following the rest of them.

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"While Father & Son, the Adversity Twins, Brains & Brawn and the Performers all commit to making the climb up the unconscionable number of stairs, many of the other teams have already chosen the Scares challenge, but they're gonna be in for a long wait until the elevator comes back down. Well, all of them except for the Fashion Bloggers anyway. Case and point…"

"Hey hey, here's a shoutout to all our fashion blog followers." Jen and Tom turned to face the camera inside the elevator "We'd like to take a chance to talk about the fashion faux-pas for today, which is… You wanna take this one Tom?"

"Overalls." Tom gagged at the mention of it, though neither of them notice the janitor glaring at them as the elevator door opened "Those things are so nasty."

"I know right, like they'd better get with today."

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One elevator ride lader…

To make a long story short, by the time they reached the observation deck, Jen was wearing a bucket and Tom was wearing a mop, courtesy of a pissed off janitor, but then she looked around and realized something "I don't see any other teams around here."

"OMG, I think that means we're in first place!" Tom let out a squeal "I guess the only thing left to do is hit the Skywalk and strut our stuff all the way to the winner's circle."

"We are so totally the team to beat." they smugly made their way towards the beginning of the skywalk, but their grins were quickly wiped away when they saw what awaited them "Wait, so you mean we have to walk out here?!"

"Oh you'd better believe you do. The Ridonculous Race will return right after this."

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"The teams that abandoned the elevator after the hijinks of Father & Son, those being the Surfers, Ice Dancers and Stepbrothers, are going to be in for a painful climb, and frankly I think that's going to be a lot more fun to watch."

"Well on the upside, we're definitely not in last place." Mickey and Jay shared a look and grinned, but then their faces fell "But on the downside, that probably won't be true for long."

"You shouldn't be so doubtful of yourselves." Cameron leapt off of Lightning's back and started to run alongside the two of them "I had similar doubts when I first went onto Total Drama Revenge of the Island because, as I mentioned previously, I spent 16 years living in a bubble, but once I was on the island I was able to do and see so many amazing things, and I even managed to make it all the way to the final two and win a million dollars."

"Oh yeah, we both watched Total Drama."

"I see that many people have. The point I'm trying to make is, if I can overcome all of my doubts, insecurities and physical capabilities and win, then the two of you can do the same."

"You really think so?" asked Mickey.

"Absoluely. After all, the two of you are known for overcoming adversity right? Then you should be willing and able to live up to your team name." and so Cameron took off after Lightning, which left the twins to ponder what he said.

"Huh. He seemed pretty nice."

"Maybe but don't forget, we agreed on no alliances. Keep in mind that the two of us are like soft meat, very soft meat."

"I know, but if we do want to really overcome adversity, maybe some help would really come in handy, right?"

"...We'll think about it."

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Meanwhile, down on the bottom floor…

"You've gotta be freaking kidding me!" by this point, Taylor and Kelly had reached the inside of the tower, only to find everyone else still waiting "Thanks for being so slow, now we're stuck in a race for last place with the rest of these losers. Word to the wise mom, when we get home you had better hire yourself a personal trainer."

"Um…" Kelly looked around rather nerovusly "You know, that's a great idea sweetie."

"Of course it was, I'm the one who thought of it, and that's why I thought of it."

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Meanwhile, with the Performers…

"Oh god… oh god…" as they continued climbing the stair,s Leshawna came to a stop on one of the landings and bent over the railing as her face turned sickly green "Leshawna's about to blow chunks… and legs are on fire…"

"Yeah, these kinds of things take a lot of getting used to." Trent patted Leshawna on the shoulder, then suddenly took her onto his back and continued running.

"How the hell are you not about to start spewing chunks?"

"I've done a lot of running over the past few years, mainly since I started Total Drama. Putting aside how the challenges can be crazy as hell, you'd be surprised how much of a workout you can get form having to outrun armies of rabid fangirls a bunch of times a week."

"...Fair enough."

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"As most of the teams continue to climb the stairs or wait for the elevator to come back down, and I mean a lot of waiting, the Fashion Bloggers are the first team to reach the observation deck at the top of the tower, but the scare might prove to be too much for them. Case and point…"

"Are you out of your freaking mind?!" sure enough, Tom and Jen were clearly hesitant to go out on the skywalk, and had resorted to clinging to each other in terror "There's no way in hell we can go out on that death walk! I'll have you know that I am fashionably stout, the wind will blow me away faster than the ratings of Doctor Who!"

"You've gotta be kidding me…" the guide just rolled his eyes "I definitely don't get paid enough for this crap. So you guys gonna take a helmet or what?"

"Take one of those helmets, are you crazy? Do you want us to ruin our hair? No way, I did not sign up for anything like that."

"Plus I'll tell you now, aubergine really isn't my color." Jen told him firmly.

"It's not, take my word for it."

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"Now that the elevator has returned from its ridiculously long round, the competition has finally started to heat up. Some manage to make it on, but many of the others will still have to wait for it to come back down. Again."

"Oh well, no sense in griping about it." Owen gave a shrug as he watched the elevator doors close, and then he went over to the LARPers "Wow, that's a really nice robe."

"It has powers of cloaking myself to the eyes of untrained mortals. Observe: Disappearicus convincicas!" Leonard spread out his arms, but nothing happened "You can't see me anymore now can you?"

"Um… You know what, I'm gonna go over there." and so he promptly walked to the other side of the room.

"I told you they were freaks." Noah told him dryly without looking up from his book.

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Meanwhile, with the stairs…

"Holy crap babe, this is gonna be amazing!" Geoff and Bridgette continued running up the numerous flights of stairs "Our calves are gonna be so toned after this, we're gonna look like a pair of greek god and goddess from the waist down. You're the only goddess for me though babe, Greek or anything else."

"And I'll take you over a Greek god any day." Bridgette gave him a smile, but then stopped him as he attempted to lean in for a kiss "Believe me sweetie, that's tempting but remember what the two of us agreed on."

"Right, not until we finish so we don't get too distracted. But after we finish?"

"Then we're going all out, no hesitation." and so the two of them continued running up the stairs, though as they did Bridgette glanced over at the camera "The last time Geoff and I got an actual solid chance to compete together was during Total Drama Action, but we were so caught up in making out with each other that I guess the others got sick of it, mostly Duncan as far as I'm concerned though, and we got kicked off. We did get to host the Aftermath though." she cringed when she noticed Geoff visibly flinch at the mention of it "Which had its ups and downs. But in any case, when we decided to sign up for this race we both agreed that we'd have to show what we didn't back then: Self control. We agreed to wait until each leg of the race was finished before we started making out."

"But once each leg of the race is over, we can start going at it like a pack of wild monkeys! Oh hell yeah!" Geoff gave a wide grin as he burst forward.

"...Not the analogy I would've used, but yeah that's pretty much it."

"Hello to all our fans!" the Ice Dancers on the other hand, they stopped on one of the landings behind Geoff and Bridgette, and started waving at the cameras with wide creepy grins plastered across their faces "We love you!"

"And speaking of showing some self control…" Bridgette and Geoff shared a look, but then both of them just shrugged as they continued running.

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"After spending a solid hour climbing the stairs, some of our contestants are really starting to lose that fire they had in their eyes at the start of it."

"Oh god… oh god…" the prime example of this was Chet and Lorenzo, who were now left panting and sweating as they staggered onwards "You know… if we come in last, then I'm so gonna blame you… dumbass…"

"Yeah well… hurry up and climb faster… dipshit…" Lorenzo let out a gasp.

"Stop getting your gross hot breath on my back… you sweaty pig…"

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Meanwhile, with Brains & Brawn…

"Sha wow…" Lightning let out a sigh as he wiped some of the sweat off his forehead and kept running up the stairs, Cameron once again clinging tightly to his back "I must be gaining muscle mass again, all this running up the stairs is making me almost kind of winded."

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Meanwhile, with the first elevator group…

"There's the skywalk, let's move it homie!" once the elevator finally made its way up to the top floor, Devin and Carrie were the first one to grab a helmet from the guide and make their way out towards the skywalk. The rest of the teams however, were not so lucky, primarily for one big reason.

"Sorry folks, the rest of you are gonna have to wait." as it turns out, Tom and Jen were still being incredibly picky about their choice of helmets "I need to make sure that my helmet is disinfected before we do this."

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Meanwhile, with the Best Friends…

"Holy mother of god!" Devin and Carrie made their way out onto the skywalk, though the former was quickly taken aback by how high up they were "And suddenly climbing so many stairs that we end up puking doesn't seem like that bad of an idea."

"Well it could be a lot worse." Carrie glanced over at him and tried to act reassuring "You always have wanted to conquer your fear of heights right?"

"Correction, I'm not scared of heights so much as scared of falling. There's a pretty big difference between the two of them."

"Hey think of it this way, it's just a TV competition, so there's no way that they'd actually put us in danger right?" Carrie was immediately proven wrong when she saw a bird land on the safety net, causing it to fall "Nevermind!"

"Oh hell yeah, now we're in the lead!" this was when the Tennis Rivals bolted past them and out onto the skywalk "Way to sleep on that one suckers!"

"Okay they're ahead, but that doesn't matter. You can do this Devin, I believe in you!"

"That makes one of us!" Devin glanced down the tower, but once he felt Carrie grip his hand reassuringly, he breathed a sigh and started walking, with her by his side, and the two of them exchanged a small smile.

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Meanwhile, with the second elevator group…

"Hey the elevator's back!" once the elevator returned to the ground, Owen and Noah were quick to make a beeline for it "Make way you guys, we've got two more coming in!"

"Sorry there's no more room, and I really don't care." Taylor rolled her eyes and pressed the button to close the elevator door, only for Owen to end up getting caught in the doorway.

"Ow ow ow! Aw man, it's like gym class all over again!" and yet despite this, he was able to get into the elevator before the doors closed and it started upwards, only for lots of creaking and groaning to be heard.

"God, this elevator sounds awful."

"Uh… I don't think that's the elevator." Owen then let out a fart, resulting in the elevator being flooded with noxious fumes, much to the disgust of everyone present, with one exception.

Noah, the exception in question, just stared forward as his expression dulled "Try spending two seasons with him on Total Drama, then you've got the right to gag."

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Meanwhile, up on the skywalk…

"Okay that's it Devin, take it easy!" Carrie continued leading Devin along the skywalk as she watched Gerry and Pete get blown away by the strong winds "Just keep putting one foot in front of the other! I'm so proud of you Devin!"

"I couldn't have done it without you homie, you're like my everything!" Devin gave her a smile that caused her to blush, though he quickly went back to freaking out "I'm going to die now, I'm going to freaking die now."

"We get it you're gonna die, now move it!" Emma let out a growl as she followed behind them, only to quickly take notice of something "Kitty where the heck are you?"

"Holy crap, this is so cool!" as it turns out, Kitty was standing on the edge of the skywalk taking a selfie.

"You need to focus, keep in mind that this is life or death."

"Oh come, just look around at what we're doing right now. This is incredible, I can't remember the last time I felt so alive!"

"Yeah I'm sure you do, and I'll make sure that they put that quote on your gravestone." Emma then grabbed Kitty by the arm and started pulling her forward.

"I promise you, I'll never never let go!" Tom and Jen continued slowly moving forward as the former held onto the latter tightly "Can you believe that there are people out there that actually pay to do stuff like this?"

"We're doing this for you Mother Earth, we won't let you down!" Laurie and Miles continued their own slow trek along the skywalk "Please don't kill us!"

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Meanwhile, inside the tower…

"The last elevator has finally reached the top floor, along with a cloud of noxious fumes courtesy of the Reality TV Pros, but while those teams still have to take the dreaded skywalk, the teams that took the stairs are literally leaping into the lead."

"Shabam, that's Lightning going for the gold!" Lightning bolted out of the door and screeched to a halt, panting and sweating slightly but his confidence wasn't wavering "Now bring on the glory and good stuff!"

"We have to collect our tip for the next part of the challenge." Cameron climbed off Lightning's back, much to his surprise since he hadn't noticed him, and received a tip from the guide "It says that we have to catch our flight with a zip, and ride the line to our tip. I'm not sure I understand what this means."

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"What it means is that the 18 teams will have to take a flimsy zipline from the observation deck of the CN tower and ride it over Lake Ontario to the island airpot on the other side, and they have to snag their next travel tip along the way. The line was tested this morning by our intern Andrew, and we wish to take the chance to once again offer condolences to his family."

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Meanwhile, with the start of the zip line…

"The gold is ours to claim!" Jacques and Josee started the zip line, the latter gracefully catching the tip as they soared across the lake "Go team Canada!"

"More like go us, that gold belongs to us alone!" Josee's smirk turned rather malicious, which didn't go unnoticed by Jacques.

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Meanwhile, with the end of the sky walk…

"Oh thank the great god above!" Devin let out a sigh as he and Carrie reached the end of the skywalk and rushed back inside the tower.

"You two ain't getting ahead of us that easy!" Pete and Gerry bolted back into the tower, only for a loud crack to be heard as the former dropped to his knees "Oh god dammit, my artificial knee just gave out!"

"I call that Karma for that weekend in Cancun back in 84." Gerry let out a chuckle "I gotta say though, the two of us agreeing to go on this show was a great idea."

"Oh yeah totally, despite the burning pain in my leg, but the two of us have been through a bunch of way tougher battles than any of these kids. So what if they have more zing?"

"Or more ambition?"

"Or more blind optimism…"

"More youthful energy and all their original body parts…"

"...Yeah, this show was a terrible idea."

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Meanwhile, with the zipliners…

"Oh thank the great god above!" Trent burst through the door, Leshawna still being carried on his back, and he subsequently set her down on the ground and fell to his knees, panting and sweating from pure exhaustion "Good at running… yes… upper body strength… not so much…"

"Yeah, that better be why you're on the ground white boy." Leshawna told him dryly "Don't think that means I'm gonna carry you though."

"I already got that pamphlet Harold made, that's an honor reserved for him and not a single other man in all of Canada."

"And don't you forget it." so she promtpyl walked off to get the tip from the guide.

"...Yeah, this is gonna be a long race."

"So we're going on a zipline?" Carrie and Devin looked at their tip, and their faces both lit up with excitement "I've always wanted to do that, it sounds amazing!"

"At least some of them are having fun with this."

"So we're going on a zipline?" Gerry and Pete looked at their tip, and their faces both lit up with sheer terror "I've never wanted to do that, it sounds terrible!"

"Some being the key word here."

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Meanwhile, at the island airport…

"SHABAM!" Lightning leapt off the zipline, only for him and Cameron to end up crashing into a tree at the end of the runway "Sha-ow…"

"Oh boy…" Don cringed at the sight of the crash "Good thing for insurance and them not being able to sue us."

"And a good thing for victory!" Jacques and Josee both reached the end of the zipline and then gracefully landed on the ground as they started waving "Thank you, thank you, merci!"

"What the- Who are you waving to? There's no one here."

"Who else, we're waving to our fans. They're the ones that give us all of the love and energy we could ever need to perform under extreme pressure. After all, if it wasn't for them and all that they do for us, then my partner Jacques would never be able to overcome his MANY faults."

"Um, why do you say many like that?" Jacques shot her a raised eyebrow.

"You know exactly why." she then handed him the tip "What does it say?"

"It says that we have to book two seats on the next flight to Morocco."

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"Like Jacques mentioned, Morocco is the first international location we're going to be visiting for this race, and there are three flights heading there, each one departing 30 minutes apart from each other. The teams that make it onto the first flight have the distinct advantage of arriving in Morocco first. The teams on the last flight should probably question why they even decided to enter in this race to begin with because, I mean seriously?"

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(Confessional)

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna go home that soon." Noah stated firmly "Every single reality show I've been on I've lost for one reason or another, not just Total Drama either. I put my all into Total Drama World Tour to try and take out that slimy eel Alejandro, and I ended up facing my own downfall in the final five."

"I thought you told Cody and everyone else to vote for you." Owen pointed out.

"Yeah, but I did that for two reasons. One, I figured that if I was gonna go out on some point, I might as well go out on my terms rather than give the eel the satisfaction of being the one to take me out like one of his pathetic pawns. Two, as nice as it would've been to win, it would've been a lot nicer to make sure that Alejandro went down."

"Oh."

"Yep. I was fine with it then, but not this time. This time there isn't gonna be any excuses, and no distractions. Now I've got my eye on the cheddar."

"And we get to taste all sorts of amazing foods." Owen gave a wide grin, only to be met with a typical deadpan look from Noah "I mean… winning, whoo hoo!"

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Meanwhile, on the zip line…

"Come on, just a little further up and YES!" as they rode down the zip line, Devin couldn't help but cheer as Carrie grabbed the tip "You're absolutely amazing, there's no other way for me to describe it!"

"Oh come on…" Carrie started blushing and looked away "You're just saying that…"

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(Confessional)

"There's no way I'm just saying that, it's only because it's true." Devin glanced over at the camera and gave a grin "I had to do the race with Carrie. She's smart, she's fast, she's determined, there's nobody in the world I trust more than her."

"Aw, Devin…" Carrie started blushing again and staring at him with a dreamy look spreading across her face.

"Plus my girlfriend Shelley flat out said no." and that was enough to kill the mood.

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Meanwhile, with the Tennis Rivals…

"Hey you need a hand you jackass?" Gerry gave a wide grin as he pushed Pete off the zipline, sending him falling into the sea below "That was for Wimbledon back in 77! Now to get this tip all to myself!" and so he grabbed the tip with both hands, realizing too late that he had let go of the t-bar as well "Gotcha now you little- Aw crapbaskets!" and then he fell into the water too.

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Meanwhile, on the skywalk…

"Okay, easy now…" Owen and Noah, along with the rest of the remaining teams, slowly made their way out onto the skywalk "You know little buddy, you really should try and put on a few pounds."

"Yeah, like buffing up like one of those roided out freaks is gonna get me so much further in the hell that is my life." Noah rolled his eyes as he stepped out onto the skywalk, only to end up almost immediately being blown away by the strong winds, leaving Owen to hold onto him for dear life and keep him from flying off "DO NOT LET GO!"

"I'll never let go little buddy, never!"

"DOING THIS SHOW WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!"

"Hey Spud, go ahead and check this out!" Rock suddenly spat out into the wind, only for it to blow it directly into Spud's face "Oh crap, sorry dude, but you gotta admit that was totally freaking awesome! I mean did you see the way the wind was howling like woosh, and then the thing just went in your face like that!"

"Truly, that one is the epitome of having an advanced vocabulary and the ability to articulate it in a way that demonstrates above average intellect." Noah rolled his eyes, but then gave a smirk "But on the other hand, it is kind of relieving to know that my sarcasm can endure even in the face of imminent death!"

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Meanwhile, with the Performers…

"You might have been right about the scares." Leshawna glanced over at the other teams making their way along the skywalk as she strapped on her helmet "Going around something like that and getting blown away by that little turkey? No way, ain't nobody that tough."

"And I don't plan on dying like that, not one a show like this anyway." Trent's expression dulled slightly as he strapped on his own helmet, but then a thought occurred to him "Wait hold on a second. Did you just call Noah a turkey?"

"Yeah, so?"

"...Nevermind, let's just go get the tip."

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Meanwhile, inside the observation deck…

"Sheyah, we totally did it!" Geoff and Bridgette burst through the door at the top of the stairs and made their way into the observation deck, only for the former to suddenly fall to the ground and start screaming in pain.

"Geoff!" Bridgette was quick to kneel down by his side "It's okay sweetie, just take some deep breaths and stay calm for me okay?"

"It hurts, oh god my calves hurt!"

"Just stay with me babe."

"Oh god… let's go son…" Dwayne and Junior rushed past them, the former panting and sweating heavily as the latter grabbed the tip.

"Okay, I think it's just a leg cramp, so just try not to put too much pressure on your legs until it lets up and you should be alright." Bridgette gently helped him to his feet, and the two of them carried on "I think we just need to get some potassium in your system to help with the cramps, maybe they have a concession stand somewhere around here."

"WHOO HOO!" other teams on the other hand, were reaching the end of the skywalk, the first of which were Owen and Noah.

"Well that was illuminating." Ellody and Mary were the next ones to make it out, albeit they were both covered in a certain green substance "Based on the splatter, I calculated that the velocity of the wind was 45 knots, so 20 more and the two of us would be splattered."

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Meanwhile, at the island airport…

"Come on homie, down we go!" Devin and Carrie reached the end of the zipline, and they hit the ground they read their tip "We're going to Morocco? Holy crap that's awesome!" and so the two of them bolted off.

"Come in hot!" Trent and Leshawna reached the end of the zipline, but ended up crashing into a tree as well "Ow…"

"Yeah, the Best Friends are so gonna hook up before the race is over." Don glanced over at the camera to do some narration "As more and more teams reach the tarmac and manage to secure seats on the first two flights to Morocco, the race to not come in last grows more and more intense by the second."

"Back up asshole, I snagged it so I get to read it!" Lorenzo and Chet hit the tarmach and crashed to the ground with a loud thud, leaving them both sprawled out in a heap.

"Look out below!" Bridgette and Geoff reached the tarmac themselves and ended up accidentally landing on top of the Stepbrothers "Oh my god I'm so sorry!"

"Forget it… just get me away from him…" they both weakly pointed at each other.

"Uh… Oh look, we gotta go and book a flight to Morocco. Cool." and so Bridgette helped Geoff get to his feet and took off towards the airport.

"Great, now to-"

"Look out!" Jay and Mickey promptly landed on top of the Stepbrothers "Wow, I can't believe that we actually did it- Oh, sorry about that. Anyway, it says we have to take one of the flights heading to Morocco. Come on, let's go!" and so they took off "I know, flying sucks but…"

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"The 18 teams have all arrived at the island airport, and their flights have been booked. The first flight will be carrying Father & Son, the Best Friends, Brains & Brawn, the Fashion Bloggers, the Ice Dancers and the Reality TV Pros. The second flight will be carrying the Sisters, the Vegans, the Fashion Bloggers, the Surfers, the Performers and the Rockers. The third and final flight will be carrying Mother & Daughter, the Tennis Rivals, the LARPers, the Stepbrothers, the Goths and the Adversity Twins. The flights have all been booked but the question still remains, which of these 18 teams is going to be the one to win the first leg of our race around the world? You'll just have to tune in next time to find out, because the Ridonculous Race is to be continued!"

A/N:

Here it is everyone, one of the two stories that you guys have been waiting for, one of the two sequels to A BFG's World Tour. Before I go any further, I have to make it clear that this is a sequel to that story, so it's highly recommended that you read it before this one, or else a lot of stuff isn't going to make sense. But one other point that I should mention here is that, in this universe, the Ridonculous Race chronologially takes place after Revenge of the Island, but before All Stars, so it's during the year that Chris is in prison.

Anyway, for those of you who didn't read it, I'm going to reiterate a point I made when I announced this story: Whichever Total Drama characters appear in this story will not be competing in All Stars. This might seem somewhat risky given some of the characters I've chosen to include in this story, but big risks mean big payoffs, which I hope you guys will agree with.

As you guys have noticed, I took out a few of the original teams from canon and then replaced with with Total Drama characters, examples including the Daters and the Police Cadets. I know this might earn some backlash, but frankly they kind of got on my nerves after awhile, and I wanted to give some more TD characters a chance to shine in the spotlight, as explain below.

Surfer Couple: This one was pretty much a no brainer. I don't realy have anything against Brody, but I thought that not having Bridgette and Geoff compete here was a major missed opportunity, and since I've made the point that Bridgette is one of the characters that got screwed over the most, I decided to fix that in this fic. Oh, and just throwing this out there, I'm going off the headcanon that Bridgette and Carrie are sisters. I don't know if that's canon or not, but in this fic they are.

Performers: Like I said, I know the Police Cadets are fan favorites, but they kind of got old after awhile, and since Leshawna is another character most people think got screwed over, especially in Island, so I figured why not give her a chance to make up for that. The real hard part was deciding on her partner, especially when I was considering how far I wanted her to go. I ruled out Gwen (since she's gonna be in my All Stars fic), and I thought Harold would be too obvious, so in the end I just decided to go with Tyler. I was a bit reluctant to go through with this one, since there is another Ridonculous Race fic with those two as a team (Ultimate Ridonculous Race by TDI Charlie Brown), and then it hit me: What about Trent? If there's any other Total Drama character that deserves another chance to compete and show what he's capable of, it would have to be Trent. Besides, with him being Gwen's ex-boyfriend and Leshawna being one of Gwen's closest friends, I figured that the two of them could have a pretty interesting dynamic. The only problem was coming up with a name for their team. I figured I'd go with Performers since Trent plays guitar and was a member of the Drama Brothers, and Leshawna because of her (shudders in a comical fashion) dancing skills.

Brains & Brawn: Now this pairing is what I meant when I said that the choices were a bit risky, but here we go. One complatin I've often heard about the Ridonculous Race is that there weren't any second generation Total Drama characters among the teams, so I decided to change that. Cameron and Lightning, the two finalists from Revenge of the Island. I thought that since they fought so fiercely against each other, how well could they do when they put their brains and brawn together? Well we're about to find out. The only downside is, with them competing here, that means I can't include them in my All Stars fic, which means two different characters will be taking their spot. As for who that is, you'll have to read that fic to find out. But on the plus side, I get to show them interacting with some of the other characters, the first example of which being Cameron interacting with the Adversity Twins, which is especially interesting since they're actually recycled from Cameron's original character designs.