Due to finely honed reflexes and a keen innate sense of danger the god known as Shiraori nearly made it out of her house before she was easily caught by her mother/boss/tormentor the evil god known only as D, when she wasn't called the Nameless God, God of the End, Death God, Evil God or a hundred other titles spoken in fearful whispers throughout the multiverse. Yes even among the other Evil Gods this Evil God is by far the worst.

"Well you're not wrong," D said as she easily immobilised her. "That's still very rude though."

Wasn't it ruder to twist somebody's arm behind their back and then force them to the floor though? I'm just asking for a friend D.

"It's not rude to affectionately prevent your kin from running off unreasonably," D said as if plucking the thoughts right out of her mind. "Besides you've been avoiding me for the last half a year and I thought it was time for us to chat again."

Well to be entirely fair I couldn't hide from D if I tried; besides she had spent that period of time being forced to actually do her job. I hadn't actually gone looking for her though. I had actually spent that time eating, sleeping and playing the various video games that I had collected during that time. Well, collected basically means stole from D, but I had permission so it wasn't really stealing. Yes I had definitely not stolen anything from D.

"Long time no see," I said trying to play the whole situation cool. Whatever D wanted from me would never be good but there wasn't anywhere I could really run from her. Even my Home was in no way off limits from this god whose abilities far outstripped my own.

"Yes I have been very busy doing work," D stated. "Then all of a sudden I remembered that I have a younger relative who was sitting in a house that I bought her mooching off my generosity."

Well that was true. She did buy her a house in an incredible fit of generosity, but she placed it just a street away from her own residence so she could pop in any time that she wanted to. Not that she couldn't easily travel across the planet and track her down if she felt the slightest inclination. And D would do it just to screw with her. That was the pettiness of this Evil God.

"Divine punish_" D started causing her to flinch. "No I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that. After all there's no way my adorable younger sister would have been thinking insulting things about me."

"Sisters since when," I spoke up wondering about the sudden upgrade in our relationship.

"Yes, a sister doesn't have that ring to it," D mused to herself. "I'll find a relationship box to put you in sooner or later. But before I do that I have to find you a job. We can't have you becoming a NEET."

"I don't want to hear that from you," I said to the expressionless slacker in front of me. Just the fact that she was here implied that she had escaped from Meido already who was likely trying to track her down at this moment.

"Exactly," D said. "Because I can't get away with being a NEET you can't either. We've been looking for somebody to run Limbo for a while now and the whole place has been in…well in limbo for centuries now. Can you imagine the paperwork that has built up?"

"That is a very tempting offer," I said playing along before I activated a secret weapon. Devised as a result of long arduous research into creating a perfect escape magic, it was the ultimate result of my greatest talent applied to the sole goal of escaping from D. In an instant the world blurred as I fell through the cracks of reality slipping through the much more powerful god's fingers and I took a breath of relief as I stood up in a safe house in a place beyond D's immediate reach.

Feeling the sudden loss of pressure from D I stretched out only for my hand to hit what looked like empty space in front of me. Curious I pressed against the space only for what looked like a box made of cardboard to disintegrate around me revealing the room I had just teleported from with D standing in the same position and myself on the opposite end of the room. Despite the bad situation I clapped out of appreciation of the excellent display of power and D took a short bow in response before…

"So, ready for me to send you to limbo?" D said. "Or…" she said with the tone of voice she used when she was prepared to offer a deal with the devil, "would you like me to give you another offer."

xxx

"Damn you D." My deepest feelings were put forth in a prayer that no god would ever dare answer except maybe Meido. For a brief moment I contemplated informing her before my well-developed common sense cut that thought out of my head.

D would exact painful retribution.

Meido would likely send me to Limbo anyway.

I wasn't they type of spider to snitch.

And hey what was that about doubting my common sense. I'm telling you I have an overdeveloped common sense for a spider. Even a million spiders placed together couldn't overcome my common sense…and speaking of a million spiders.

Dozens of pale white spiders scuttled out from under her robes into the frosty woody environment. She would just send out her spiders to gather information and sit back in her Home until the mission was completed. Yes there was definitely no way she would get herself caught up in the politics of running an army again. Yes, this time Team White would consist of Shiraori and her clones all coming to glorious harmony to achieve her goals. Let's all work together to complete this quest and get back to lunch. D had assured me that there were no gods in this world in the first place.

What do you mean there is no way that D would make it so easy to complete? A spider can dream right. I can dream that this job is easy and I can go home in time before the Christmas food comes out. Actually this place might have its own delicacies. Well wherever the best delicacies would be it wasn't here. There was nothing around except a vast canopy of trees, snow and the occasional black and white creature that lurked around.

Yes other than those totally normal surroundings there was nothing here. There especially wasn't an ojisan in some cosplay outfit who was on the verge of bleeding out. On a closer look, maybe the guy who didn't exist wasn't cosplaying; after all those ears looked remarkably attached to his skull. He might be some variant of humanity, like Demons were, that was mutated by whatever environmental factors existed on this world.

"Hey, human," the voice of the wounded old guy said struggling to his feet. "Did they send you to finish me off?" He slammed down a massive sword with jawed teeth that looked like it should be wielded by a certain black swordsman. Are you sure that's okay to do that Ojisan. That can't be good for the weapon durability. Not that a spider would know anything about maintaining a weapon.

"Well human, are you going to respond?" the mutated human said. No, Ojisan I wasn't going to respond. Who is this person you could be talking to Ojisan. It is surely not this innocent spider. In the first place you don't actually exist Ojisan so I couldn't be hearing you in the first place. La, la, la, nothing you say will reach these pristine spider ears. It serves you right for being so pushy; fear the wrath of the socially awkward.

"Well human if you're not going to finish me off, I guess we'll both go down to the Grimm," the mutant human said raising his sword off the ground with great effort as dozens of sabre-tooth tigers that wore their bones outside their body started to emerge from the treeline. On closer examination the creatures seemed less like fully corporeal beings and more like a smoothie of MA Energy and some mediocre darkness magic.

Well to be fair my frame of reference for darkness magic was D which set the bar unreasonably high. In fact these creatures were closer to the level of skill and expertise that I possessed when creating my clones. Maybe I could create a bunch of spiders to try and compete against these Grimm creatures. That sounds like a wonderful idea…Not. If I did that I might accidentally break the ecosystem again and while I wouldn't claim to care about this world I wouldn't exactly go ahead and behave like a dragon now.

Oh, I hadn't been paying attention and now one of the Grimm was leaping towards me at a speed not out of the realm of an actual non-enhanced animal. Still despite its power being weak to the point of irrelevance she wouldn't go easy on anybody who attacked her. Just as she was about to casually tear its head from its shoulders and eat it the Ojisan from before jumped in front of me cleaving the magic creature in two causing it to dissipate into energy and return to the planet.

Wow that was so cool Ojisan. If I was a young maiden I might have my heart flutter at the sight. Unfortunately the image was ruined by the fact that your side is leaking blood Ojisan. If you really keep doing that you're going to die Ojisan. Another Grimm leapt towards me showing remarkably poor judgement and the Ojisan intercepted that Grimm as well catching its lunge on his forearm before cutting through it just as easily.

Wait what was that? Just when the creature impacted a film of energy drawn directly from the soul covered the arm of the older man. Now that was exceptionally far beyond everything that I could do or even dream of performing. It would take me at least a year to even reproduce a basic attempt but even with my utter lack of knowledge I could recognize some of the broad strokes of the work. On the other hand there were two easy great big buttons in the formula inscribed onto the soul for turning on the force field and for refuelling so it looked like D hadn't installed an administrator this time.

It looked like Ojisan's fuel was almost running dry by this point leaving less than five percent left for use. Still the Ojisan continued to fight as the reserves ticked lower and lower cutting through the creatures as they came. The weak creatures died in droves but mostly kept charging mindlessly towards the two of them giving me flashbacks to a hell of a lot of monkeys.

The last sliver of energy left the Ojisan just as one of the Grimm creatures bit into his arm tearing into flesh and muscle. That looked pretty painful but I wasn't the type of person to infringe on another person's fight and damage their pride. Swordsmen like that have a lot of pride and they might even find it preferable to die if I were to help them right now. I will just silently cheer you on Ojisan. I believe in you.

Oh wow that looked painful Ojisan. Well I know how painful it is to lose an arm but at least you took him down at the same time. There's only one left, you can do it. Ahh, he's kneeling on the floor clutching his stump. Can you even see the last Grimm over here? The Grimm isn't coming for him though. It's prowling towards me. Are you sure you want to do that pal? Don't you feel like your confidence is just a bit too much? Look at that guy over there that's been stabbing your comrades. Don't you feel any need to take vengeance on him? Well if you really insist.

LV 100 God VS LV 5 Grimm Saber-Tooth Tiger

Ha, you didn't see that coming did you. I may be a spider but I'm also a god you know. Itadakimasu I should say, but I already ate him. Gochisousama I will say then. The Grimm tasted terrible but it wasn't the worst thing I've ever eaten and it had that filling aftertaste of MA energy that I always felt guilty eating too much off.

Ojisan is still down so I walk up to him. He mostly won the battle I suppose. I won't tell him about the one he missed because it might hurt his manly pride. Actually he looks like he will die soon. Oh well it was nice knowing you, say hi to D for me.

What did you expect me to do? Heal him. There's no need for me to heal him is there. Maybe he has loved one's he hopes to go to. Wouldn't healing him be going against his wishes? Besides people die all the time. Maybe it was just his time to go. Alright, I suppose I should heal him. He did try to help me after all. Maybe he can buy me local food in repayment.

Don't worry Ojisan Doctor White is here to fix you up; even the legendary Black Jack would envy this spider's skills. Now I have the arm so I just stick it on the body and fix it up with some magic and then patch his side up with some magic and do some magic on his organs. Seriously it's harder than it sounds. Healing magic is seriously, seriously, seriously difficult. Thankfully I've operated on enough humans that I don't make mistakes and he's pretty much the same as humans underneath.

As a free service when trying out Shiraori Medical Services I topped up his energy using the intuitive refuel function. In just a few seconds the Ojisan was as good as new and I stood back to admire my work. Yes the resale price on this mutated human Ojisan would go right up after that bit of fixing up, which was more that I could say for this planet.

To my many eyes it seemed that the whole planet was enwrapped in some incredibly large scale magecraft. The creatures would die and return the energy in their bodies to the core of the planet and more of them would be spawned by the MA energy. Unless the magecraft was broken, which was quite likely beyond her at the moment, the planet would keep spewing forth these creatures indefinitely. It was quite an efficient way of recycling actually, although it looked like it made the MA energy of the planet a bit screwy.

"I'm alive. Did you heal me," Ojisan said as he stood up without reading the mood. Damn Ojisan now you've made this whole situation awkward. How do I respond? I can try the cool way 'you will not die before I allow you' the shounen way 'I couldn't let somebody die before my eyes' or the romantic option…we're not doing the romantic option.

"I assume you healed me," Ojisan said after a while causing me to jerk from my thoughts. I had gotten distracted but in that time I had come up with the perfect response. Slowly and clearly I nodded my head indicating quite clearly that his present health was as a result of my actions.

"I see," Ojisan said. "Thank you then. You're quite good for a human. I owe you a great debt then." Those were the words that I wanted to hear. Debt acknowledged. Now I just have to leverage this into getting me an ample supply of the local delicacies.

"Food please," I said staring at the older man who visibly reacted to my voice.

"So you can speak," Ojisan said. "You surprised me. If you can talk then why didn't you say anything before?" Hey I don't mock your poor fighting skills so don't mock my poor speaking skills. I specced into a high intelligence and dexterity build, charisma is my dump stat, all right. "What type of food do you want? We're both trapped in a frozen wasteland and the nearest village is half a day's walk from where we are. I will try to contact my boss when we get to the village and we'll pay for your meal is that okay?"

I nodded again.

"How is your aura," Ojisan said losing another chunk of relationship points due to the incessant questions again. "Did you use it all when you used your semblance?"

I nodded again.

"Okay then we will have to go slower," the talkative Ojisan said. "Do you need me to carry you?" He froze at that moment as I opened my eyes before trembling slightly as eight pupils stared him down. My eyes could be a bit scary to others so I tried to keep them closed most of the time. I didn't activate them of course. Ojisan still owes me food.

"So you were also a faunus," Ojisan said before he bowed his head. "In that case I apologize for calling you a human. In that case…" he cut himself off. "Maybe this isn't the best place to discuss important matters, but we are going to a place where you don't have to hide your eyes from the humans." I feel like he got some weird misunderstanding about me. "It's a place where they would really appreciate a semblance that can heal people as well." Now I do not really understand the situation." Let's try nodding again, it seems to work.

It worked as the push Ojisan continued to talk and I continued to ignore him while dreaming of Christmas roast. I wondered if they celebrate Christmas over here or if some other famous person was born who created a holiday. If that was the case then I would have to earn money to pay for the traditional party. Maybe I could open up a stylish fashion line. I like the sound of White Industries. If I make enough money then maybe I can even pay somebody to dye it for me.

A beam of moonlight breaking through the canopy and I looked upwards before I slowly opened my eyes.

Okay who fucked up the moon? Was it you D? No, that didn't sound like something that the Evil God would do? It wouldn't be amusing for her to just cause destruction. But then who could be_

Shiro's journal

Evidence

Evidence Found #1

Screwed up the MA Energy.

Evidence Found #2

Caused massive damage to the planet (moon).

Evidence Found #3

Abandoned this world

Titan-X Angel-X Demon-X Dragon

Curse you dragons; you've made me work again. Let's kill every dragon I meet from now on. Well technically I've already killed 100% of all the dragons that I've met before. And that actually sounds like a lot of work now looking at it. No I've changed my mind. Let's just finish this job and go back to my gaming.

Author Note: Kumo Desu Ga was one of my favorite web novels and the first season of the anime is almost finished. It's kind of mediocre so I'm slightly bummed. This is kind of a tribute. Any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.