Blinding Shadows. The 78th Games.
I. A Rude Awakening.
Hostage smile on presidents
Freedom scribbled in the subway
It's like night night and day
Threatened by all things
God of cruelty
Drawn to all things
God of delight
Mythical god of the everlasting laws
Governing day day and night
Empira Montussy. 19.
Victor of the 77th Games.
✦✦✦
Empira Montussy is in a bit of messy situation. As Panem's most recent victor, the District One girl has the duty to mentor two new Tributes in next year's Games, yet she finds herself unable to find the willpower to do such a thing. There's many things that Empira doesn't have the willpower to do in fact, so she spends her days sitting around her apartment with a mug of tea and watching television. It's not even really all that interesting, but it's something that she can sink into for some semblance of comfort.
After several minutes of this, she begins thinking about what could be on television that would take away her boredom and leave her feeling somewhat more energized than she was only minutes ago, but there seems to be nothing on at the moment. The channel she normally would've settled on just shows nothing but an old sitcom that seems pretty harmless to watch. So she settles her attention elsewhere, trying to think of other things to keep her mind occupied, but she can't seem to think of anything good enough to make her feel less bored. After a couple of minutes of fruitless searching for something else to focus on, she gives up and turns off the television. She lets out another sigh as she sits back down on her couch, letting her body fall onto it, making sure to avoid falling asleep and causing any damage to her new couch.
After a few minutes pass, Empira begins to hear some odd noises coming from outside her apartment. Some sort of loud thumping noise or something. She furrows her brows together slightly; these sounds weren't exactly familiar, nor did they sound very threatening, but she couldn't place them either.
"What the hell?" Empira mutters aloud to herself. Her ears still hadn't grown accustomed to hearing so much noise when one is inside their home alone. She continues to sit in silence for a few moments longer until she decides that she should probably investigate if whatever's making that noise is dangerous. With that thought, she gets up from her couch, and makes her way towards the front door where she opens it slowly and peeks her head out of the doorway. She stares at the scene before her in confusion for a few moments, until something moves in front of her face. She jumps back at the sudden movement and looks to her left, hoping to see whoever it was before her who had been in front of her, but there wasn't anyone standing right in front of her.
"That was freaky," she mumbles under her breath to herself. "But maybe they were just playing." With that, she closes the door behind herself and walks over to the kitchen where she grabs her phone from where she placed it when she left earlier in the day. As she dials her mother, she starts to get the feeling that there's more going on out here, but what?
"Hello?" her mother answers the phone after only three rings of it. Empira can tell by the tone of her voice that something is wrong and there's concern lacing her words.
"Yeah, hi mum. I'm sorry to bother you, but are you still at work?" She asks her mother quietly. Her mom lets out a quiet sigh.
"Yeah, I am. Is everything alright, darling?" Her mother asks back, sounding concerned for her daughter. Empira nods her head softly.
"Yes, no. It's uh... I'm... Not too sure. Um..." Empira trails off, not wanting to bring up the situation at hand because the last thing she wants to talk about is the reason why she called her mum.
"Is it your boyfriend?" Empira flinches slightly at the mention of her ex.
"No, mom." She shakes her head slightly to show her mother that he isn't the cause of this problem.
"Then, what is it?" Her mother asked, now sounding worried and also more curious. Empira bites her lip.
"Um... Well, actually, it's kind of stupid. But..." She let out a shaky breath and exhales loudly. "I got this call, like thirty minutes ago, telling me that two people I haven't seen in years are being held captive in one of the Capitol prisons, and I can't go see them without getting caught, and that's if I want to see them again at all, which means they're both dead, and I don't know how long we have before they come for us, and I don't know how to fix it, so I'm wondering if you know anything?"
Her mother falls silent. She doesn't say a word and Empira begins to worry a little. Finally, her mother speaks.
"Em, honey, breathe." Empira takes a breath.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. And yes I do know something." Her mother responds after she takes a few seconds of silence. Empira lets out a relieved sigh.
"So what is it? What do you know?" Empira questions, her voice still nervous, despite how her body language was already relaxed.
"Well, I'm not entirely sure, Em... But I think you better ask yourself that first, hm?" Empira frowns slightly at her mom's words and raises an eyebrow.
"Why?"
"Because... You need to know what this is all about, sweetheart." Her mother says slowly. "And you may have forgotten about it, or you might even think it's crazy, but this might explain some stuff." She pauses again.
"Mommy?" Empira's voice is soft and filled with anxiety as she hears her mother hesitate on answering.
"Listen, Em... These people, these kids, they're special. They're special and... And we aren't supposed to know about them. Ever. We're told that their existence is forbidden, that they are not meant to ever be found out."
"...Mom? Why does that make sense?" She wonders aloud.
"I'm not quite sure, Em, but trust me when I tell you it's important. This is important, Em."
"... Mom, I'm scared. I don't like this." Empira's voice cracks as she lets out a nervous chuckle.
"Okay. Okay." Empira's mother replies in an almost calming manner as though she had anticipated the fear that Empira felt. "Just promise me that when I say you need to do something, you'll listen to me."
"You're the boss. Whatever you say, mom." Empira chuckles lightly.
"Good. Now I have to go, Em, my shift's gonna start soon. Remember to lock the doors to the store, okay?" Empira's mother tells her.
"Oh yeah. Okay. Sure." She responds as she hangs up the phone. After hanging it up, she lets her hand hang limply off the receiver, then she brings it back down again and places it beside her on the couch. She then stands up and starts walking around aimlessly, her feet moving in the direction of her bedroom. Once she gets inside the room and shuts the door behind her, she slumps down on her bed and puts her hands in her hair as she leans her head against the wall behind her.
She lets out another heavy sigh as she feels tears sting at the corners of her eyes. She quickly rubs the tears away as her body shakes violently. She tries desperately to suppress her sniffles, as she continues crying silently onto the covers covering her body as she attempts to calm herself down. She knows what will happen when she gets her tears under control. That happens often enough, and every time, she'll end up being upset, angry, and frustrated. She hates it. She hates it so much. She hates it so much that she wishes she could just stop crying. She wishes she could just stop feeling so sad. She wishes she could just stop feeling so helpless. She wishes she could just stop feeling so useless. She wishes she could just stop feeling so worthless. But she cannot stop.
Empira sits curled up on her bed for what feels like hours later, unable to calm down, unable to sleep, unable to stop thinking, unable to do anything. Every part of her wants nothing more than to just lay on the floor and never move again, but she knows that won't work. She doesn't want to waste her energy that way when she has other things to think about that require her to be conscious. She doesn't want to risk hurting herself by sleeping again, not when the only person who can help her now is gone, not when she has no idea if they're going to be coming for her anytime soon and not when she is surrounded by people who want nothing to do with her.
She is sitting in complete despair as her tears fall onto the sheets beneath her. A constant stream of salty liquid streams down Empira's face, and as she continues to cry into her mattress, it doesn't seem to stop. It only seems to add to her sorrow, and her anguish. Empira is not sure how long she lays in her own misery before finally falling asleep.
All of her exhaustion has taken its toll on her as well.
The next morning, after a good night's rest, Empira is back in the same position she was in the night before. She is lying on the floor with her back leaning against her bed' side, with her arms draped over her face and knees bent up towards her chest in front of her. She is still crying quietly, with a slight tremble running through her entire body. Her face feels numb, but she knows that once she touches it it will feel hot, and she doesn' t want to feel hot. She wants to feel cold. It would make her less afraid. It would make everything go away. It wouldn't make her feel any less alone or useless. It would just mean less pain and pain, more hurt. She hopes that it hurts less this time. She really hopes that it does. She closes her eyes tightly and holds onto her legs tighter.
It must've been another hour or so, after she has fallen asleep on the floor of the living room where she was laying the previous night. The sun has risen since then, but she hasn't moved an inch in that short amount of time she has laid there motionless. She stays like that until the sky brightens, and she is brought back into reality when she realizes she must've fallen asleep. She blinks her eyes open and lifts her head up to see that it is bright outside. She looks around her apartment to find it is empty except for herself. She looks at the clock.
8:30 am
She has slept for almost twelve hours straight.
She groans quietly and pushes herself off of the ground, stretching her arms above her head as her legs drop down from underneath her so that her feet land softly against the hardwood floor of her apartment. She walks back to her bedroom as she stretches her arms higher up and yawns widely and loudly. She stops right before she goes into her bedroom to remove her shirt, because it smells disgusting. So she just leaves it there, then walks into her bedroom and lies in her bed once again. As she lies down, she closes her eyes and hugs herself tightly.
Empira is shaking uncontrollably. She feels cold all over and wet, all over, and all over, and it burns, and it feels like fire, and it burns. She feels as though she's going to suffocate. Her heart pounds in her ears. The burning aches throughout her entire body, and she knows it will never stop. The feeling is indescribable. She tries to keep her breathing level as best she can. She can hardly bear it, but she wills herself to breathe, to keep calm, to ignore the fire, to ignore the heat, to ignore the pain. She struggles to stay afloat.
It takes a while for her to get over her initial panic attack and calm herself down. But once she does, she manages to relax enough for her to finally start crying silently, but quietly as possible. Tears leak out of her eyes. Her breaths start getting shallower as her body becomes colder. Empira curls up into a ball and begins trying to hold herself together as tightly as possible, hoping that it would somehow protect her from the pain. But it does little to help her. She keeps shivering and crying, she cries until she is dry heaving, she cries until her body feels completely drained of moisture. She cries until her mind finally gives up on her thoughts for the moment and allows itself to forget entirely about those awful images. For that one, precious minute of reprieve, Empira's mind is blissfully silent. She is free from the nightmares for a second. No longer has she to hear that horrible shrieking sound or smell the sickening scent of blood.
When Empira opens her eyes, she finds herself staring at the ceiling. She blinks a few times, then turns her head slightly to look at the clock on her bedside table. It reads 8:45 am. She stares at the clock for a few seconds, then she turns her head back to stare at the ceiling. She blinks a few times. Then she turns her head back to stare at the clock for several more moments. The light from the clock's fluorescent lights shine directly into her eyes so intensely, Empira squeezes them shut and covers her eyes tightly so that she can try to block them out, which isn't working very well considering the light.
After a while, Empira feels tired of trying to avoid looking at the clock, so, reluctantly, she decides that maybe it would be best if she were to actually wake up, regardless of whether she wanted to or not. She sits up in her bed with a groan, then reaches out to turn the switch, which flips on the lights in the room, and she immediately flinches from the sudden brightness, but then she slowly moves forward towards the switch to lower the brightness until the light is at a reasonable level.
When she finally succeeds, she pulls up the covers from her bed and gets out of bed. She makes her way into the bathroom, then closes the door behind her. She enters the room and closes the door. She turns on the faucet as she steps closer to it. The water comes up to the point where the faucet can no longer hold it back. She lowers her head and splashes some water onto her face. She then raises her head and places her hand on the edge of the sink. She uses both of her hands to tilt her head backwards and splash her face. As she is doing so, she starts to feel something. It's kind of tickling the top of her nose. It seems to tickle the skin under her nose a little bit too much. She lifts her head slightly up, and suddenly drops her head downwards and brings her hand to the edge of the sink with a loud gasp.
Oh god. She thinks to herself as her face fills with disgust. What the hell?
Her stomach twists uncomfortably, and her throat starts tightening with the fear of it all beginning to hit her at once. She quickly wipes her face with some paper towel so that she won't have to look at it anymore, then puts her head back up and turns the shower on. She grabs some shampoo and conditioner and starts scrubbing vigorously at her hair until it falls limply into her face. When she finally turns it off, she throws the used soap into the garbage and rinses the shampoo out, washing her hair roughly in order to get as much of it out as she possibly can. She dries herself off with the towel and stands perfectly still for a moment before stepping carefully onto her feet, her eyes wide as she stares at the mirror above her washbasin, waiting for the shock to pass.
When it does, she sighs deeply, and lets her body droop as she stares at herself in the mirror. She looks exhausted. She looks pale. She looks scared. She looks sad. She looks broken. She looks lost. She looks hopeless. She looks defeated. She looks broken. She looks helpless. She looks weak. She looks pathetic. She looks worthless. She looks like a failure. She looks like a monster. She looks like a freak. She looks like nothingness itself. She is all alone in the world, and she looks miserable. She hates herself.
"Hey." A quiet voice speaks softly beside her. Empira jumps as she is startled by the voice and drops the razor into the tub of steaming warm water. She quickly retrieves it and picks it back up again.
"You alright, kid?" He asks her calmly, his brow furrowing in concern as he watches Empira. He sees that her face is covered in tears and snot mixed with sweat. His eyes widen. "Shit, are you okay?" He rushes over to her side to stand next to her, putting his arm over her shoulder to comfort her.
She sniffles quietly and nods slowly, holding up the blade of the razor as evidence of how she feels.
He lets his arm fall away as he examines the blade in his hand.
They stand in silence again.
"Where's Alphys?" He asks eventually.
"Gone." She replies simply. "Don't wanna talk about it." She replies bluntly. She doesn't want to talk about him anymore either. Or rather, she doesn't want to think about him anymore. She wants to forget him, and she doesn't even know how.
"Alright," he answers, "alright, i'll leave you to your own devices, kid, just don't take too long."
And with that he turned around and began making his way towards the exit of the living room. Empira stood there motionless. She didn't move at all after hearing those words and listening to him leaving. He looked at her as he left with a concerned expression. He couldn't read her at all.
"Em." She hears him say. She slowly lifts her gaze up to look at him, as he is standing across from her now. He frowns at her. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks her.
She nods slowly.
"I'm sorry." He says.
She shakes her head.
"No, I'm sorry." He says.
She shakes her head again.
"I shouldn't have said what I did." He tells her. "I should've known better than to go off on you like that and make things worse."
She shrugs, not saying anything, and that's the last thing she remembers before abyssal black compromises her sight.
Shadows and Light - Joni Mitchell
Hello, and welcome to my very first SYOT. I'm a longtime member of this community who's been lurking for ages, but I'm just know able to write my own story. In this prologue, we met Empira Montussy from District One, Panem's most recent victor who appears to be having an interesting time to say the least. Whether or not she's currently alive... well we'll have to see but I'd love to know what you think of this prologue.
The submission form for the story are on my profile so please do submit if you have the chance. I'm unsure if I'll be taking all 24 Tributes, so we'll just see, I suppose.
Cheers,
Harley