One Month Later…
Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin were seated at the guild hall, each with a mug in front of them. Kazuma had brought along the latest product from Satou Industries LLC.
"So, I bought some land in Axel, part of what was leveled by the Destroyer, and I've got dwarves building a factory for me."
"What's a factory?" Darkness asked.
"It's a place dedicated to the manufacture of products. I'm moving all the printing presses I've bought there, that's where I'll have all the paper and ink delivered and where all the cards will be printed from now on. It'll also serve as a warehouse prior to distribution. Samuel's agreed to be the factory manager for me."
"What about his smithy?"
"Well, he actually stopped working as a blacksmith a few months ago. The print shop was making a lot more money for him. He agreed to sell me his printing press and close down in exchange for me giving him a really generous contract with lots of bonuses."
"You must be very generous to convince him to give up his own business."
"Hey, I know I can trust him and there aren't a lot of people with his knowledge about printing presses. It's worth it to me since he's pretty much irreplaceable. Oh, and I'm going to have all my other products manufactured there to, especially the action figures. As soon as it's up and running the thirty seamstresses I have working for me will work there. I'll form an assembly line that will make production run way faster and smoother."
"What's an assembly line?"
"It's a manufacture process where each worker focuses on a single task and passes the product down the line to the following task until the product is complete."
Darkness frowned. "That's not how it's done. I don't know much about business, but I do know that every tailor or seamstress makes an article of clothing from cloth in their own home or shop."
"Well, the assembly line method is way more efficient and will allow for faster production and lower manufacture cost per unit. Not to mention all the added efficiency of having the whole process taking place in one central location. I've even hired Wiz to use teleportation to send goods to my international locations. That is going to cut transport costs by at least-"
Megumin let out a long groan. There was a glazed look in her eyes. "Can we please stop talking about this? It's sooooooo boring! We get it already! You're rich and making a lot of eris. No one wants to hear about it."
Kazuma frowned at her. "Oh really? Well, I was planning on giving you and Darkness free samples of my new product line. There's already a ten thousand unit back order, so it's going to be months before they're even available to the general public. But hey, if you don't want one that's fine."
"What?!" Megumin said in a panic. "That's not fair! You gave them out to Luna and all the waitresses!"
Kazuma shrugged. "They all let me stare at their boobs."
"They do that for everybody!"
"Such a beast," Darkness sighed.
"Don't start," Kazuma grunted. "Anyway, here. The newest and most popular product from Satou Industries LLC, the Princess Iris Belzerg Stylish Sword Action Figure."
He handed over the six-inch figure. It was an exact replica of the princess and quite adorable. Iris was extremely popular not only in Belzerg but in the neighboring countries as well. As soon as Kazuma had announced his company was producing this product there'd been demand from pretty much every noble, merchant, shop owner, or craftsman with a daughter under the age of fifteen. He had thousands of them already on order (at the low low price of only one thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine eris each) before the first one had even been stitched together. Needless to say, he already had plans to come out with the Homemaker Iris Action Figure, Dragonslayer, Teacher, Nurse, and Bridal models. Of course, she would also be a very special and ultra-rare HeroMon card that would be sold in individual bonus packs.
If all that weren't good enough, Kazuma could now market his cards and other products as 'Under the patronage of Princess Iris of Belzerg.' Any artist that received royal patronage was automatically viewed as being exceptional. It gave all his merchandise a boost in sales and a reputation of being high quality. As Kazuma had expected, getting Iris as a patron had been a license to print money.
Darkness smiled at the little Iris she was holding. "You turned me into a card and the princess into a doll. You truly do come up with the strangest ideas."
"I'm just trying to make my customers happy. Now," he held up the second action figure. "I wonder what I should do with this one? You think Sena would like it?"
"Oh, come on!" Megumin was starting to squirm. "I already told all the other female adventurers you were giving me one! We're members of the same party! I live in your home! We've shared amazing adventures together! You have to give me one!"
Kazuma looked at the figure in his hands, then to Megumin, then back to the figure. After drawing the moment, and Megumin's agony, out for a bit he finally nodded and held it out. "Okay, I guess you can have the action figure."
"Yes!" She reached out to grab the doll.
Kazuma snatched it away. "But you have to beg."
Megumin glared at him.
"And it has to be as a cat."
"W… What?"
"Cats don't say what. They say meow meow." He raised his hand to get the attention of a waitress. "I'm going to need a bowl of milk, please."
"…"
"So cruel," Darkness sighed happily.
XXX
It was an hour later and the three of them were still in the guild hall. A half empty bowl of milk was sitting on the table and Megumin had tied her new doll onto her staff where everyone could see it. Darkness was sitting close to Kazuma. Since they'd started 'dating' she made it a point to sit near him in public. They also walked hand in hand or arm in arm in public. When they were out on adventures they reverted to normal.
Megumin was the only other person who knew the truth about them. As the three of them lived together it would have been exhausting to keep the act going 24/7 so they'd told her. As Megumin liked Darkness she agreed to play along. And sadly for her, threats of exposing them didn't amount to much as Kazuma did not care and Darkness said she'd never forgive the pint size witch if she did. Everyone else in the city was convinced that Kazuma and Darkness were a couple and lovers. This of course could not possibly cause any sort of trouble or misunderstandings in the future.
The three of them were sitting there, sipping their ale and chatting when a group of five adventurers returned from a mission. Four were members of the same party. The fifth was a freelancer who'd agreed to join them for a flat fee. The instant she spotted Kazuma she stormed up to his table.
"Kazuma, its been long enough!" Aqua complained. "You need to let me into your party already! And you need to let me live in your mansion too! It's not right for a useless NEET like you to be living better than a goddess like me!"
He took a long deliberate sip of his ale before answering. "No chance you goddess of misfortune and debt."
"Why not? I've started working as a freelancer even though it's way below my dignity. And its barely worth it since seventy percent of what I'm supposed to make gets confiscated by the kingdom! I'm amazingly useful! Ask anybody!"
"That so? Hey Dust!" Kazuma called out to a member of the party she'd just returned with. "How was working with Aqua?"
Dust stood there a moment and thought it over. "Well, Taylor and Rin both had minor injuries and she healed them right up. She also gave all of us blessings that definitely helped with taking that ogre down. She was useful for sure. If it weren't for-"
"There you see?" Aqua interrupted him with an aggressive shout. "He couldn't even manage without me! You should be glad I'm even willing to join you after all the trouble you've caused me."
Kazuma narrowed his eyes. "Trouble I've caused you? Care to be a little more specific? What exactly have I ever done to you?"
"Everything! The whole reason I'm down here is because of you! If it weren't for you being such a selfish jerk I'd still be up in heaven where I belong and not stuck down here with ignorant mortals who can't even appreciate having a goddess among them!"
As Aqua rambled on everyone, including Darkness and Megumin, looked uncomfortable with her talk of heaven and being a goddess. They all saw it as her being delusional and more than a little crazy. Kazuma actually enjoyed egging her on and making her look insane.
"Oh yeah? If you're really a goddess, why couldn't you bring Mitsurugi back?"
"I already told you! That dumb blonde Rista was covering for Eris and wouldn't let me because of a stupid rule about people originally from Earth only being allowed to reincarnate here once!"
"Really? So, it's all the fault of some goddess no one on this world has ever heard of?"
"Exactly! And that means you need to hurry up and let me join your party do we can beat the Devil King so I can go home, and you can get a wish granted!"
"Because the only way you can go back to your job up in heaven is by helping me to beat the Devil King. Otherwise, you'll be stuck here forever, right?"
"Yes! I'm glad you finally get it!"
Aqua was completely oblivious to the looks she was getting. Kazuma just smiled. "Yo, Dust. Since she's a goddess why don't you ask her to join your party?"
"I'll pass," he said. "If she did, we'd lose seventy percent of everything we earn. She's a great healer but not worth that kind of penalty. Besides, she talks too much and annoys everyone."
"WHAT?" Aqua snapped.
Dust wisely ducked his head and headed to the claims window to collect his share of the rewards.
"I think that sums everything up," Kazuma said. "If we ever have a job where we need an expert healer or to remove a curse we'll be in touch. But we'll hire you as a freelancer. On the day I decide to go after the Devil King and only then I'll let you join the party. As for me letting you live with me?" He laughed.
"I can't believe how ungrateful you are after all the things I did for you!"
"Yeah, no one can puke on my shoes or hog a blanket like you."
The blue haired goddess let out a loud, 'hmph' and stomped over to the counter to collect her pay and then went to the bar.
Kazuma and his party hung out a little while longer before finally heading home. As they were leaving Kazuma noted a couple strangers he'd never seen before entering the guild. They didn't trigger his Detect Enemy ability, but something about them made him suspicious. He thought about going back inside to keep an eye on them but quickly tossed the notion aside. Not every adventurer is a saint. It's not my problem.
XXX
Early the next morning there was a guild messenger pounding on his front door. He told him there was an emergency and he and his party were needed at the guild hall as soon as possible. Kazuma and company wasted no time and were down there as the sun was still rising over the horizon. Luna was the one to meet them and deliver the shocking news.
"Kazuma, it looks like Aqua's been kidnapped."
"What?"
"It's true," Luna confirmed. "We got an eyewitness report that two men were spotted with her tied up and gagged and riding out of town."
"I see," Kazuma said. "Then there's only one thing to do." He then turned to the handful of customers in the hall. "Drinks are on me!"
Luna stared at him slack jawed as everyone else cheered.