A/N: Okay, this oneshot is my contribution for Makoto's Birthday, taking place before "Kiki Naegi's First Valentine's Day!" Please read, review, and enjoy!
The Ultimate Detective and The Ultimate Hope Gaiden: Birthday Before Graduation!
"Nyeh…Kokichi, why did you call us out here?" Himiko twisted her pinky in her ear as she, Tenko, Kiyo, and Angie stood in an empty classroom.
"Just a sec, Himiko. First, Tenko, Kiyo, push the teacher's desk in front of the door so nobody can walk in on us."
Kiyo and Tenko narrowed their eyes suspiciously before the aspiring anthropologist questioned "And why do you want us to do that? Just what is so secret that we have to barricade the door?"
"I bet it's something really suspicious! You probably just want to get us all in trouble, you…you…degenerate troublemaker!"
Kokichi's eyes watered as he sniffled. "B-but…I just needed your help to do something nice for someone. But now you're all accusing me of being up to no good…I thought you were my f-friends…WAAAAHHHH!"
Tenko scowled as tears flooded from Kokichi's eyes. "Nice try! Do you think we'd fall for such an obvious lie after spending nearly three years in the same class?!"
"…Wait…" Tenko turned to Kiyo who reluctantly mused "It…may not be a lie this time…"
Tenko's jaw practically fell to the floor in shock. "NANI?! But this is Kokichi we're talking about! He lies every single day!"
"Yes, I will not deny that Oma is a compulsive liar…but like you said, his lies are usually obvious. It's as though his beautiful aura exudes deceit."
Tenko, Angie, and Himiko sweatdropped before Angie asked "And…you think that he's not radiating deceit this time?"
Kiyo nodded. "Quite, it's lacking the right malice, which makes me think that, as strange as it sounds, he might actually be telling the truth this time."
"Nyeh…maybe we should hear him out."
"HIMIKO?!" Tenko exclaimed in shock before Angie nodded, closing her eyes and smiling.
"Atua has spoken. He says we should give Kokichi the benefit of the doubt."
"Really…?!" Kokichi sniffled in disbelief, wiping his eyes as he sniffled.
Outnumbered, Tenko groaned and slammed her palm against her face in frustration. "Fine…I'll hear him out. But if this is a trick…I'll use you as a practice dummy for a brand new Neo-Aikido move!"
Kokichi grinned. "Nee hee hee, don't worry, I'm being a hundred percent honest right now! So, you and Kiyo go move that desk!"
"Let's go, Tenko." Kiyo sighed. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can hear what Kokichi has to say."
Tenko grumbled, but nonetheless approached the desk and helped Kiyo push it in front of the door. Once they were done, they dusted off their hands and walked back to the others.
"There, we did what you wanted. Now what did you want to say?" Tenko demanded before Kokichi grinned.
"So…you all know it's Headmaster Naegi's birthday next week…riiight…?"
"Oh, yeah!" Angie's eyes widened in realization. "The vice-headmistress does tend to make a big deal out of it, if I remember correctly."
"Indeed." Kiyo nodded, smiling underneath his face mask. "She's always in a particularly good mood whenever his birthday comes us." He eyed Kokichi as he remarked "In fact, I think she's let slide some of your pranks when they've occurred on the headmaster's birthday."
"That's right! And…given it's our last year at Hope's Peak Academy…I think we should take the opportunity to wish him a happy birthday too. You know, to show how much we appreciate him."
Tenko narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I'm not sure if I believe you. You've always made their lives more difficult at every turn, you degenerate troublemaker!"
"Nee hee hee! But I do appreciate them!" Kokichi insisted, grinning cunningly. "They've made high school way more fun! Most teachers would just throw their hands in the air and give up on trying to deal with me. But not the Naegis! No matter how much I make them want to rip their hair out, they've never given up on me!"
Kokichi's starstruck eyes narrowed in determination as he practically scowled and pointed at Tenko. The Neo-Aikido practitioner's eyes widened, the girl startled by Kokichi's uncharacteristic seriousness.
"And that's why I want to pay them back! I want to make sure Headmaster Naegi's last birthday with us is one he'll remember! That's the vow of Kokichi Oma, Supreme Leader of D.I.C.E.!"
"Hmm…" Angie hummed, closing her eyes before her lips tugged into a smile. "Atua has spoken." As her eyes opened, she advised "He says that for once, Kokichi is telling the truth! We should all follow his lead." As Tenko opened her mouth to refute, Angie interjected "You want to repay the headmaster for everything he and the vice-headmistress have done for you too, right?"
Tenko faltered, her lips tugging into a frown before she sighed and conceded defeat. "…That's right. They…they helped me to see the error of my master's teachings. Headmaster Naegi helped me to see that not all men are degenerates, and that I shouldn't be so violent with men who try to talk to me. Thanks to him…I can actually be civil with guys."
"Kehehe…" Kiyo chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Yes…I too am in the headmaster's debt. I know full well that my mannerisms can make me appear creepy to others. I still have a ways to go, but I've at least taken the first steps to correcting my behavior in front of others. I've become much more palatable to the rest of our classmates, and I owe it all to Headmaster Naegi!"
"Nyeh…Headmaster Naegi's always supported my magic. Even when nobody came to my magic shows…he and Kiki always came. And after he started showing up regularly…my audiences got bigger and bigger! Putting on my magic shows stopped being a pain thanks to him!"
"Ahaha, so divine!" Angie agreed. "Headmaster Naegi has been a welcome advisor whenever Atua has been napping. And he's helped me learn how to recruit more disciples! By not trying to force Atua on to them, they've been coming to me like flies! Atua has been so happy from the influx of offerings over the past couple of years."
"So, we're all in agreement?" Kokichi asked knowingly. "We all want to pay Headmaster Naegi back for everything he's done for us?"
"Nyahaha!" Angie squealed. "Atua and I are in full agreement!"
"To show our appreciation to the headmaster for making our lives here a fruitful three years…" Kiyo spread out his arms as he nearly moaned "It's so beautiful! I'd be happy to help with such a beautiful plan!"
"Nyeh…I guess it won't be a pain…" Himiko muttered, nodding in agreement.
Tenko bit her lip in hesitation before she sighed "Alright…if Himiko…I mean, everyone's in agreement…then I guess I'm in too."
As Kokichi grinned victoriously, Kiyo turned to the self-declared supreme leader. "Since you brought this up, I suppose you have a plan in mind?"
"Nee hee hee! You know me too well! Alright, gather round, for with what I have planned, Headmaster Naegi is sure to remember this birthday!"
Kyoko smiled as she and her husband walked through the halls. "Happy Birthday, Makoto."
Makoto chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "I heard you the first time, Kyoko…and at breakfast when you and Kiki made me those pancakes."
Kyoko blushed, smiling bashfully as she retorted "Can't a girl want her special someone to know how much she appreciates their birth?"
Makoto laughed as they turned a corner. Unbeknownst to them, Kokichi and Tenko were peering just around the corner.
"Okay, Tenko, you're up!"
Tenko groaned as Kokichi elbowed her. "Why do I have to be the one to distract her?"
"Because, if I try and lead her away from the headmaster, I'll just look suspicious and the plan won't work! She trusts you, so you've gotta lead her away to the agreed spots!"
"I can't believe you and your D.I.C.E. degenerates booby-trapped the school."
"Hey, if you wanna make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs. Now go, capisce?"
Tenko pinched the bridge of her nose, scowling in frustration before she mumbled "Fine…I'm going…" Kami, give me strength! Tenko took a deep breath as she stepped out of the corner and approached the happy couple. "G-Good morning, Headmaster, Vice-Headmistress."
"Hm?"
Surprised, the two administrators turned around before Makoto smiled at the Neo-Aikido practitioner. "Good morning, Chabashira-chan. Is there something I can help you with?"
"Well…I just needed to show the vice-headmistress something." As Kyoko raised her eyebrow curiously, Tenko insisted "It's quicker to show you than explain, so please, follow me!"
Now? On Makoto's birthday?!
Withholding a frustrated sigh, she glanced at her husband, who nodded in approval. "It's okay, Kyoko. Go see what Chabashira-chan wants to show you. I don't think it'll take that long."
After biting her lip for a second, Kyoko nodded and turned back to Tenko. "Okay, Chabashira-chan. Lead the way."
As Tenko nodded and led Kyoko away, Kokichi discreetly tailed Makoto as he walked down the hall. Alright Kiyo, you're up!
"Excuse me, Headmaster."
"Hm?" Makoto let go of the doorknob and turned to the aspiring anthropologist with a curious eye. "Kiyo, what can I help you with."
"Well, as a student of Hope's Peak Academy, and as an aspiring anthropologist, I was wondering if you could enlighten me about the school from an anthropological context."
Makoto frowned in confusion. "From…an anthropological context? But…I don't really know much about anthropology."
"Let me elaborate, then. In layman's terms, anthropology deals with learning about customs and traditions. Given how you were one of the last students of the school before it was closed down and rebuilt under your leadership, I was curious to hear your perception about the traditions and customs from the school's creation to the end of the Kirigiri administration."
"I see…" Makoto scratched the back of his head. "To be honest, the vice-headmistress would know more about that topic. My predecessor was her father, after all. I didn't really pay that much attention to the office politics before the Tragedy."
"Perhaps, but as someone who was personally affected by the customs of the past, surely you must have taken them into account when designing the traditions for the future of Hope's Peak Academy."
"I mean, I guess…" Makoto nodded. "Alright, I'll see what I can do."
"Excellent. Shall we take this to the library, then?"
"Sure."
Makoto followed Kiyo down the hall and rounded the corner just before Kokichi, Himiko, and Angie walked out of hiding. "Alright then, shall we?"
He then pulled out a pair of lockpicks and approached the door. Himiko and Angie moved to stand in front of him, obscuring him from view as he knelt in front of Makoto's door and picked the lock.
A comfortable silence passed as Himiko fiddled with her witch's hat and Angie hummed a hymn absentmindedly. The silence broke however when they heard the door swing open behind them. As Kokichi grinned and gestured with his hand, Himiko and Angie hurriedly followed him inside.
"Okay!" Kokichi grinned and clapped his hands as Himiko closed the door behind them. "Himiko, let's make some magic! Angie, it's time to redecorate this stuffy old office!"
"Okay…Chabashira-chan…" Kyoko panted as they came to a stop in the pool room. "What…did you need to…nani?!"
Kyoko's eyes widened as Tenko pointed to the pool, which was filled with a school of piranhas. "See, Vice-Headmistress?! This must be the work of some foul degenerate!"
Indeed, and I think I know who… Kyoko mused. "Thankfully, Togami-sensei doesn't have any swimming-related lessons planned today, so we have time to clean this up. Would you mind helping me, Chabashira-chan? This is more or less a two-person job."
Tenko nodded solemnly. "Right, I'll do what I can to help!"
"Good, just get a bucket and a fishing net from the supply closet over there. Once I have those, I can fish them out and store them in the bucket for the time being."
"On it, Vice-Headmistress!" With that, Tenko turned and ran towards the supply closet. I can't believe Oma turned the swimming pool into a piranha tank…and I really can't believe that I'm actually helping that degenerate troublemaker! Tenko pinched her forehead and took a deep breath. It's for the headmaster, Chabashira. It's for the sake of showing our appreciation to the headmaster…
"Okay…" Kyoko sighed as she dropped the net next to the bucket, now filled with piranhas. "I'll bring up this incident to the headmaster and Togami-sensei later today. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Chabashira-chan. Well, I should get going now…"
"…Vice-Headmistress, wait!"
…What now…?! Swallowing her frustration, she asked calmly "Is there something else you wish to tell me, Chabashira-chan?"
"Well…I overheard that degenerate Oma earlier, and I think he said something about…declaring the teachers' lounge his domain."
…Again? Why does that boy continually test my patience?! Kyoko sighed and decided "Very well, let's check it out, shall we?"
"What…?" Kyoko breathed as she took note of the poster on the far wall.
Plastered onto the paper was an image of Kokichi's grinning mug along with the words THIS SCHOOL IS NOW THE DOMAIN OF KOKICHI OMA, SUPREME LEADER OF D.I.C.E.!
"Oma…" Kyoko grit her teeth. I swear, that boy's going to have detention until he graduates!
"What a crude and childish prank!" Tenko spat.
"Indeed." Kyoko sighed in exasperation. "Thankfully, it's a problem that's easily solved."
With that, Kyoko walked up and forcefully tore the poster from the wall. Once it was in her hands, she angrily crumpled it into a ball and tossed it into the nearby trash can.
"There; I'll have a word with Oma about this incident later today. Now, is there anything else you wish to report?"
"Now that you mention it, there is one more thing." Tenko bit her lip nervously before she revealed "I was planning to go exercise in the locker room and I saw that all the weights were replaced with balloon animals."
…You've got to be kidding me… "…Alright, Chabashira-chan, show me the locker room."
Tenko nodded. "This is the last incident I know of, I promise!" Please, PLEASE be done soon, you three! I can't keep distracting her!
"Nyeh…I'm ready to start whenever the headmaster comes back." Himiko told Kokichi as she finished setting up the last of her magician hats.
"Nyahaha!" Angie giggled. "That's amazing, Himiko! As for me, Atua has blessed my prayers and filled me with the divine inspiration needed to create a fitting birthday banner for Headmaster Naegi's birthday!"
"Glad to see you two have come through!" Kokichi grinned. "Alright, now we just have to wait for Headmaster Naegi to come back! He's gonna be so surprised! Nee hee hee!"
Kyoko sighed as she popped the last balloon and threw it in the trash. "There, that's the last one."
"I'm sorry to have kept you for so long, Vice-Headmistress!" Tenko bowed her head in apology before Kyoko shook her own.
"No need; I'm glad you told me about these incidents so I could take care of them. Well, I'll head back to my and Headmaster's Naegi's offices now."
Tenko nodded and followed her vice-headmistress out of the room, hoping that she bought enough time for Himiko, Kokichi, and Angie to work their magic.
"Ah, thank you for enlightening me with your perspective, Headmaster Naegi." Kiyo smiled behind his mask. "Kehehe…I never knew how widespread discrimination had spread throughout Hope's Peak Academy's customs."
Makoto nodded. "Now you understand why I had to change so many traditions when I rebuilt the school. Hope's Peak was a symbol of hope, but behind its perfect façade hid a corrupt darkness that needed to be washed clean."
"Yes, the school you've run is certainly a far cry from the institution you attended in your youth."
Makoto smiled and stood up. "Alright, I'd better head to my office. Goodbye, Kiyo."
As Makoto turned and walked away, Kiyo stood up from his seat and followed him. Have I bought enough time for the preparations? No matter, his reaction is sure to be beautiful!
"Chabashira-chan…" Kyoko's brow furrowed in confusion as she glanced at Tenko from over her shoulder. "Is there a reason you're following me?"
"I-I'm not following you!" Tenko stammered unconvincingly. "I'm just…walking in the same direction as you, that's all."
Kyoko frowned, but dropped the matter, musing as she continued to walk She's hiding something…but what…? "Ah, Makoto…and Shinguji-kun?"
Makoto nodded as the four congregated in front of his office. "Hey, Kyoko. Shinguji-kun approached me earlier after we split up and wanted to know about the anthropology of Hope's Peak Academy. So we went to the library and tried to explain the best I could."
"I see…and is there a reason why he's still with you…?"
"I…don't really know…" Makoto chuckled as he scratched his cheek. "We just started walking in the same direction." Kyoko hummed in contemplation, making Tenko sweat nervously before Makoto approached the door and frowned. "That's weird…my office door's slightly open."
"Did you forget to lock it last night?" Kyoko pondered before Makoto shook his head.
"No, I'm certain I locked it last night, and I haven't been inside since yesterday."
"Then that means someone must have picked the lock and entered without permission. But who…?" Kyoko's eyes widened as she and Makoto turned to Tenko and Kiyo respectively. "…You two know something about this, don't you?"
"O-of course not! I have n-no idea what kind of degenerate might have broken into your office, Headmaster Naegi!"
"For once, Tenko and I are in agreement." Kiyo nodded. "I have no clue who could have entered your office."
Makoto and Kyoko frowned before the headmaster sighed and turned back to the door. "Well, I have work to do, so if you'll excuse me…Whoa!"
Makoto turned the doorknob and stumbled back as a flock of doves flew out of his office. "What the…?"
"Oh, my…" Kyoko gasped as the flock dissipated, allowing them to enter the room. "Makoto, look!"
Makoto looked at his desk, spotting a colorful banner that read HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEADMASTER NAEGI! in big black font. "What the…how…?"
"Nee hee hee! You like it, Headmaster?"
Oma… Kyoko nearly seethed as they both turned their attentions to the trio that stood behind the desk.
"Kokichi, Himiko, Angie, what's all this?" Makoto uttered in shock as Kyoko turned to Tenko and Kiyo.
"…Were you two in on this as well?"
"I-it was all Oma's idea!" Tenko exclaimed, finally caving under Kyoko's glare.
"Yes, he had the idea that we should do something to celebrate your birthday, since it's our last year as students."
"So he made us distract you with incidents he created so he, Himiko, and Angie could redecorate Headmaster Naegi's office!"
"Meanwhile, I led the headmaster away with an innocent conversation while the other three broke into the office. Kehehe…such an underhanded, yet noble plan…it's so beautiful, wouldn't you say?"
The others sweatdropped before Angie giggled. "Nyahaha! So, how do you like the banner Atua told me to paint?"
Makoto cleared his throat. "Well…this is definitely a first. I can certainly say that I've never had my office broken into and redecorated for my birthday."
Kyoko sighed and admitted "We are of course grateful for all the hard work you put into this little scheme…" Her lips tugged into a smirk as she finished "But you still broke rules in the process, so I will have to discipline you."
"NANI?!"
Tenko grit her teeth and growled in frustration at Kokichi. "I can't believe your little plan dragged us all into detention with you! Couldn't we have shown our appreciation for the headmaster in a less degenerate way?"
"Nee hee hee!" Kokichi grinned and leaned back in his seat. "Aww, but where's the fun in that? Isn't it thrilling to do something that risks getting caught?"
"Nyeh…quit bickering." Himiko twisted her pink in her ear lazily. "You're giving me a headache."
"Atua agrees." Angie waggled her finger at her classmates. "We should all keep quiet and wait out our time in detention."
"Kehehe…yes, we should all reflect quietly on how we brought such a beautiful expression to Headmaster Naegi's face."
The others sweatdropped before they fell silent and opened their notebooks. Kyoko, sitting at the teacher's desk, smiled from behind her book as she peeked at her students.
Well, those five drive me crazy sometimes…but they're all irreplaceable students at Hope's Peak Academy who care about us in their own way. I think…I'll really grow to miss them when they graduate, even Oma…