Monday, February 14, 1977
"Why do you look like someone spit in your pumpkin juice?" Mary asked, pouring herself a mug of tea.
Lily sighed and pushed aside her plate, leaving most of her eggs and toast untouched.
"I feel like I can't let my guard down today," she said. "I know Potter is going to do some obnoxious, over-the-top romantic gesture and I'm just not in the mood for it."
"Hmmm." Mary wrapped a curl around her finger and frowned. "But didn't you ask him not to do anything this year? It seems like he's trying to respect your wishes about that sort of thing lately, now that you're friends."
We are friends, aren't we? Lily mused. Still, it seemed impossible that he would let this opportunity pass him by. James Potter didn't let opportunities pass him by – it wasn't his style.
"But it's Valentine's Day, Mary." Lily peered over the top of her newspaper and watched James nudge Sirius and murmur something that made them both laugh. His glasses always slid down the bridge of his nose when he threw back his head in laughter, and she marveled that they never fell off. "I don't trust him. He's got to be plotting something, don't you think?"
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Mary said as she stirred sugar into her tea.
A rush of wings announced the arrival of the mail, and Lily looked up, expecting one of the owls to drop some ridiculous present: a life-size cardboard cutout of James, a Howler that would confess his love loud enough for the entire Great Hall to hear, chocolates to last her for the next year. When the last of the owls had delivered their parcels and fluttered back out into the morning air, Lily's only mail had been her usual copy of The Daily Prophet, which had been dropped unceremoniously onto her breakfast plate. She sighed in irritation and wiped butter from a story about the Minister for Magic, then sneaked another look across the table at James.
"They're up to something," she said to Mary as she watched James pull his wand from his pocket. His smile was full of mischief, hinting at the imminence of one of his pranks. "If he tries anything, I swear…"
"I don't think you have to worry," Mary said.
She pointed at the Slytherin table, where several fluffy pink clouds floated above the students, raining down glitter and heart-shaped confetti onto their heads. Lily stifled a giggle as Snape attempted to shake pink and red glitter from his hair, his face twisted in fury.
"You like that, Evans?" James nodded at the mayhem, then jerked his wand and made all four of the pink clouds gather above Snape's head. "Pretty impressive charm work, right? Look, even Flitwick's impressed."
She glanced up at the staff table and noticed Flitwick's eyes glued to the spectacle at the Slytherin table. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a smile, although he took a sip of pumpkin juice to hide his amusement when McGonagall shot him a disapproving glare.
"It's not the worst prank you've ever done," Lily admitted. She treated him to a reluctant smile, then added, "The glitter's a nice touch."
James beamed, soaking up her grudging praise. "The glitter was Moony's idea."
She looked at Remus in surprise. "Was it really?"
Remus nodded, and a wicked grin spread over his face as he leaned closer and muttered, "I fucking hate glitter."
"Me too," Lily said. "It gets everywhere."
"Exactly. And look how it's sticking to Snivelly's hair," James said. "We didn't even predict that. It's just a happy accident."
"Do that thing where they form one giant cloud," Peter urged.
James obliged, and the four clouds merged, continuing to dump glitter and confetti on Snape and everyone within a six foot radius. Waving his hand through the air to dispel the downpour, Snape stood and started to retreat. The Gryffindor table roared with laughter as the cloud followed him out of the Great Hall.
"Why does he run so funny?" Sirius asked, standing up and running in place in a cruelly accurate imitation of Snape's uneven gait. "Merlin, I'm going to be laughing about that for ages."
"McGonagall's heading this way," James muttered. "Come on, maybe if we sneak out she won't suspect us." He slid out of his seat and grinned at Lily. "See you in Charms, Evans. I'll save you a seat by me if you like."
"No you bloody won't," Sirius said, grabbing a piece of bacon from a plate on the table. "That's my seat, you arsehole, unless she's going to sit on your lap."
The sound of their laughter faded as they hurried out of the Great Hall. As she stood up and picked up her bag, preparing to head to Charms, Lily experienced a sinking feeling that she couldn't explain. It's going to be a long week, that's all, she told herself, jogging to catch up with Mary.
By the time she made it through Charms and headed to Transfiguration, Lily was back to looking over her shoulder every few minutes, expecting James to present her with roses or stand on a table to ask her out in front of the entire class. Her heartbeat sped up when he approached her desk and handed her a large red envelope.
"What is this?" she said, feeling her face turn red as she slit open the envelope and pulled out a piece of heavy pink parchment. Ornate cursive letters spelled out "Roses are red, violets are blue, Minnie loves catnip, how about you?" above a photo of a scowling Professor McGonagall. Next to the photograph was a drawing of a tabby cat attacking a ball of yarn, a crazed look in its eyes.
"She's going to love it, isn't she?" James asked, running a hand through his hair and watching Sirius stride to the front of the class to hand McGonagall an identical red envelope.
They're giving them to everyone, Lily realized. Of course they are.
"Something tells me she's not going to find this as amusing as you do," she said, then flashed James an I-told-you-so grin when McGonagall pursed her lips and tossed the valentine onto her desk with only the barest hint of a smile.
James shrugged. "Nah, she loves it. She just can't admit her true feelings." He moved to the next row to hand a valentine to an unimpressed Bertram Aubrey.
Lily stared down at the valentine, tracing the raised letters until McGonagall cleared her throat to get the class's attention. She started and stuffed the valentine back into its envelope. So bloody silly, she thought as she slid it between the pages of her Charms book so it wouldn't get crushed in her bag.
When Lily felt a tap on her shoulder as she wended her way through the crowded corridor on her way to lunch, she whirled around so fast that her bag knocked into the person in front of her.
"Sorry," she muttered to the irritated Ravenclaw boy, before turning to the first year who had tapped her shoulder. "Hi."
She held her breath, terrified the girl was about to break into song or invite her to go into Hogsmeade with James, but her apprehension evaporated when the girl handed her a quill.
"You dropped this," she said, giving Lily a curious look before she hurried off after her friends.
"What's wrong with you?" Mary demanded when they sat down for lunch.
"I told you, it's Valentine's Day," Lily said. She scanned the Gryffindor table for James, but he didn't appear to be there yet. "I can't believe he hasn't done anything yet."
"So shouldn't that make you happy?" Mary fixed her with a searching look, and there was a smug quality to her smile that Lily didn't appreciate. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're disappointed."
"Well, good thing you know better," Lily snapped.
She added food to her plate and took a bite, then looked up to see James slide into the seat across from her.
"All right, Evans?"
He grinned and reached for a plate of sandwiches. Lily noticed his glasses were slightly crooked.
"Oi, Macdonald!"
Mary squealed as Sirius threw an ice cube in a graceful arc to land down the front of her shirt.
"Oh, come on, you can't even be mad about that," Sirius said, grinning. "It was a perfect shot. Although…" He eyed the front of her shirt and smirked. "I guess it's a pretty big target."
"Shut up," Mary said, adjusting her shirt to dislodge the ice cube before tossing it back at him. "Were you going to ask me something, or are you just going to stare at my cleavage?"
"You're right. Sorry, your cleavage distracted me."
Mary rolled her eyes, but Lily could tell she was pleased.
"Anyway, what are you doing later?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing besides Herbology."
Sirius made a dismissive hand gesture. "We can get that done in about a half an hour. Want to work together and then we can spend the rest of the evening celebrating this stupid bloody holiday?"
Mary wrapped a curl around her finger and raised her eyebrows. "By celebrate Valentine's Day, do you mean do what we do best?"
"Well, I certainly don't mean hold hands under the table at Madam bloody Puddifoot's." He made a gagging sound and rolled his eyes. "Are you in, then?"
She shrugged. "Yeah, all right. You know, you could've waited until later to ask me."
"I like having something to look forward to," he said, aiming another ice cube at her. "Hurry up and eat so we have time to smoke a cigarette before Defense."
Lily chewed her casserole and tried to feel excited about the prospect of a night spent alone in the library. It's a perfectly respectable way to spend Valentine's Day, she told herself. It's perfectly respectable and not at all sad or depressing or pathetic.
"Do you think Evans looks sad today?" James muttered as Sirius took the seat beside him in Defense Against the Dark Arts, bringing with him a whiff of cigarette smoke.
Sirius gave Lily a cursory glance, then tipped back in his chair and laughed.
"Yeah, now that you mention it, the back of her head looks pretty distraught." When James glared at him, Sirius threw his hands up in irritation. "Prongs, unlike you I don't spend 90% of my day staring at her, so I have no bloody idea if she looks sadder than usual. Why don't you ask her if you're so keen?"
James shook his head and busied himself with taking out his textbook and homework. The idea of asking Lily if something was bothering her appealed to him, because it was just another excuse to talk to her, but he held back. He had a vague, impossible idea that despite all her protests, she actually hoped he would give her something for Valentine's Day. You're fooling yourself, you bloody idiot, he thought, admiring the way Lily twirled her quill in the air before dipping it into the ink and writing the date and heading at the top of her notes. He couldn't see her parchment, yet he could picture the words in his head: the funny 2 that resembled a z, the way the tail of her a ran into the next letter, the gentle smudge of the ink when she wrote too fast for the ink to dry. It was far too sentimental to admit to anyone, especially Sirius, but James loved her handwriting, just as he loved her laugh and her eyes and the way her tongue poked out the side of her mouth when she concentrated.
"Prongs? You going to hand up your homework, or are you going to spend the entire class gazing at Evans like an idiot?"
"Shut up," James muttered, handing his parchment to Mary, who had turned around to collect it.
The minutes ticked by as James stumbled through the notes, losing his place and scrambling to catch up as his thoughts drifted to Lily. When she dropped her quill and bent to retrieve it, their eyes met and James thought he detected a flicker of… something in her eyes. It was gone before he could put a name to the elusive emotion, and she turned around and returned to her notes, leaving James even more confused than before.
After another ten minutes of barely keeping up with the notes, James tore off a scrap of paper and scrawled Are you okay? When the professor turned his back to check something on the board, James crumpled up the note and tossed it onto Lily's desk. He watched as she smoothed the parchment and scanned its contents, then turned around in her seat, her face creased with confusion.
"I'm fine," she whispered, flashing him an unconvincing smile before turning to face front again.
James bit his lip, puzzled, and contented himself with admiring the way her dark red hair fell into her face as she bent over her parchment to copy the notes.
When class ended and James led the way into the corridor to fight his way through the crowd of students, he found his path blocked by an enormous bunch of balloons.
"Oh, come on, this is bloody ridiculous," Sirius grumbled, batting the balloons out of the way.
Lily was close behind James, and he glanced over just in time to see her face light up. She opened her mouth and began to speak, but then she looked past him and her smile faltered. He followed her gaze and saw Bobby Stebbins emerging from behind the balloons. There was a large fluffy teddy bear in his arms, and he clutched a giant card that proclaimed I LOVE YOU ANNIE BANANNIE.
"You've got to be kidding," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Stebbins, mate, you don't need to try so hard. You're already shagging her."
"You're so romantic, Black," Mary said, grinning.
"Why would I want to be bloody romantic if it means I have to do shit like that?" Sirius gestured at the bunch of balloons that was now preventing a first year from getting by.
James watched Lily roll her eyes as Anne Hornby pushed past them all to throw her arms around Stebbins. The sadness James thought he had seen on Lily's face had evaporated, to be replaced by irritation.
"Potter?"
She leaned toward him, and James's breath caught in his throat.
"Yeah?"
She nodded at Anne and Stebbins, snogging in the middle of the corridor while the balloons bobbed around them.
"Thanks for not doing that to me this year," she said, and for the briefest moment her fingers brushed against his shoulder. "I'd die of bloody embarrassment."
She cast one last withering glance at the enormous teddy bear before she marched off to the common room, leaving James to battle his way through the balloons. He could still feel the spot on his shoulder where her fingers had been.
"Where's Evans?"
James had just returned to the common room after Quidditch practice to collapse into his favorite armchair by the fire. He had expected to see Lily glaring down at her homework or paging through a novel, but she was nowhere to be seen.
"Library, I think," Remus said, looking up from what appeared to be an unsuccessful attempt to beat Peter at chess. "And Padfoot and Mary are upstairs, obviously."
"Hmm."
James sighed and stared into the flames. His mind kept returning to the flash of happiness on Lily's face when she had caught sight of the balloons. The unbridled joy in her eyes nagged at him, but then he heard the words she'd spoken as she touched his shoulder: Thanks for not doing that to me this year. I'd die of bloody embarrassment. He resolved to leave her alone, changed his mind and started to rise from his chair, then decided against it after all and returned to staring into the flames. He wavered back and forth until Peter noticed his unease.
"You good, Prongs?"
James nodded and ran a hand through his hair, then sighed and stood up.
"Yeah. Or, well, actually, no. I dunno." He knelt down and reached under his chair, straightening a moment later with a Quaffle clutched in his fingers. As he tossed it from hand to hand, he felt slightly less unsettled.
"Oh, good, that's clear, then," Remus said, chuckling as he directed his knight to capture one of Peter's castles.
"Do either of you need anything from the library?" James asked, throwing the Quaffle so high into the air that it bounced off the ceiling.
"No." Peter glanced down at the chess board; a knowing smile spread across his face as he studied the remaining pieces. "But you may as well go anyway. If you don't, you're never going to stop thinking about whatever Evans-related issue is bothering you, and I think your antsy Quaffle-throwing and sighing is distracting Moony from the game."
"He's not distracting me," Remus said, frowning.
"Yeah, I know. I was just saying that to make you feel better about what I'm about to do." Peter's tone was apologetic as he gave an order to his queen and watched with satisfaction as she slid across the board and came to a stop in front of Remus's king.
"Fuck." Remus glared at the chess board as his king threw down his crown, then shook his head in exasperation. "Every bloody time." He turned his attention to James and added, "You can get me a book for the Transfiguration homework if you need an excuse to go to the library."
James caught Peter's eye and threw him the Quaffle. Peter made a wild grab for it but his fingers failed to make purchase on the ball's surface, and it dropped down onto the chess board, scattering pieces all over the floor. Somehow that made up James's mind for him, and he Summoned the bag he had packed this morning while Peter squeaked an apology and bent to retrieve the fallen pieces.
"Wish me luck," he said, slinging the bag over his shoulder and striding out of the common room before he had time to change his mind.
His heart was pounding by the time he slipped into the hushed atmosphere of the library, but a quick search of the tables and aisles of books told him that Lily wasn't there. Ducking into a deserted corner behind a shelf of Potions books, he pulled the Marauder's Map from his bag and activated it, then searched for Lily's name among the castle's many rooms, staircases, and passageways. He spotted her lurking near the Astronomy Tower and set off, stowing the map in his bag as he went.
He found her sitting on the floor beside the stairs that led to the Astronomy Tower, paging through a book although he was sure she wasn't absorbing a word. When she saw him approaching she set down her book but made no move to rise.
"What are you doing out here, Evans?" he asked, taking a seat beside her. "There are much better spots to read. Remus has a list of them. I think it's alphabetized."
She smiled, but the restless look didn't leave her eyes. "I know there are better places. I didn't even really come here to read. I just wanted somewhere to be alone and think, except all the usual spots are taken by snogging couples. I figured nobody would be up there because it's bloody freezing out, but apparently Slytherins don't feel the cold."
He grinned. "Greengrass and Urquhart?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
He shoved the Marauder's Map deeper into his bag and shrugged. "Lucky guess."
He glanced sideways to look at her and noticed a strand of hair had pulled free from her ponytail. His fingers itched to brush it out of her face, but he settled for running a hand through his own hair for something to do.
"So did you want a quiet place to think about what an arrogant toerag I am, or am I doing that thing again where I assume the whole world revolves around James Potter?"
She laughed and leaned her head back against the wall. "It's not you. I'm just…" She sighed and made a hopeless gesture. "Annoyed, I suppose."
He raised his eyebrows. "But not annoyed at me?"
"No, just at the world in general." She tucked the stray piece of hair behind her ear and smiled again. "So I guess technically you are included in that because you're a part of the world, but you are not the specific source of my annoyance."
He nodded. "I'll call that a win, then. Is there any particular reason you're annoyed at the world?" Too late he realized the boldness of his question and added, "Sorry, I guess that's the sort of thing people don't always want to talk about, so feel free to tell me to shut up."
"I've told you to shut up more times than I can count. It rarely works." She picked up her book and traced her fingers over the worn cover. "I don't actually know why I'm annoyed at the world, to be honest. Today was just one of those days when everything seems extra irritating and you can't even say why, know what I mean? And everything was pink and red, and there were hearts and glitter everywhere, and Stebbins was walking around with a thousand bloody balloons blocking the entire corridor, and Mary and I were going to do the Herbology together but then she left me to sit on the floor alone like a bloody weirdo while she shags Sirius fucking Black all evening."
James grinned. "Sirius Fucking Black. That has a good ring to it. It's a much better middle name than Orion, anyway."
Her lips twitched like she wanted to smile, but she resisted and resumed her sullen pout. "It does have a good ring to it, doesn't it?"
"I'm sorry about all the glitter," he added.
She sighed and adjusted her position to make herself more comfortable. Her arm bumped against his before she pulled away.
"It's not about the glitter. It's not about anything, really. I'm just being a bitch for absolutely no reason."
Words hovered just out of reach, jostling to be spoken aloud despite James's resolution to be less obnoxious. But surely this wouldn't count as obnoxious behavior, not when she was sitting here frustrated and lonely, in need of a distraction? If that distraction came in the form of a completely platonic, Valentines not-date with James Potter, well, that couldn't be helped.
"Come on," he said, getting to his feet and offering her a hand up.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but let him help her to her feet anyway. "Where are we going?"
"Well, you wanted to go to the Astronomy Tower to think, but it's freezing and already occupied, so we'll just have to settle for the next best thing. I am fully prepared to shut up and let you think, even though as you mentioned, shutting up is not one of my better qualities. And I just happen to have brought some candy that my mum sent me for Valentines Day, and a couple of butterbeers that I stole from Peter's trunk, and a blanket that's always in this bag because every time I think about taking it out I hear Remus Lupin's voice in my head saying, 'When in doubt, bring a blanket.'"
He fell silent, feeling his face heat up after the disjointed rambling. Then a jolt of panic ran through him as he replayed his words in his head and realized how it must have sounded.
"I didn't mean–" he stammered. "The blanket's just for sitting on, and not, er, anything else. Or, I suppose you could put it over your lap if you're cold, but I meant that this isn't me being an arrogant toerag and asking you out when you specifically asked me not to. It would just be two friends, eating Bertie Botts and drinking Butterbeer and thinking, or maybe talking about why you hate glitter so much and who in their right mind thinks Annie Banannie is an acceptable nickname."
Shut up shut up shut up, he thought, raking his fingers through his hair and sneaking a glance at Lily. He braced himself for a chilly glare, an apologetic dismissal, maybe even an angry retreat, but instead she laughed and bent to retrieve her book.
"If I say yes, will you stop rambling?"
He nodded, his eyes fixed on hers. He didn't move, didn't breathe. After a moment, she nodded and linked her arm through his.
"All right. Lead the way. But do me a favor and never use the phrase Annie Banannie again, because it sort of makes me want to vomit."
As they set off, Lily apologized for her outburst while James nodded and murmured agreement, stumbling over stairs and darting sideways just in time to avoid running into statues or walls. He couldn't listen, couldn't focus on his surroundings, couldn't think about anything because Lily Evans had linked her arm through his and agreed to spend Valentine's Day with him. His happiness was only slightly diminished by the platonic nature of the date, because it was still time alone with Lily, and bloody hell, it was progress. He chanced a glance at her, then jerked his gaze back to the corridor ahead of them, afraid she would catch him watching her and grinning like an idiot.
"The Great Hall is the next best thing to the Astronomy Tower?" she asked, looking puzzled as he led her to the area between the staff table and the wall behind it.
"Well, I figure we can still see the stars, except we won't freeze our arses off." He took the blanket from his bag and spread it on the ground, then sat down and gestured for Lily to do the same. "And this spot is sort of hidden from view, so we're not likely to get caught down here unless someone comes through the door behind us, but at this time of night I figure we're pretty safe."
He pulled a box of Bertie Botts and several chocolate frogs from the bag, then placed two bottles of Butterbeer beside them. Lily settled next to him and he studied her face, countless doubts swirling through his mind as the silence stretched out between them. Maybe I should have set the blanket down more out in the open – what if she thinks I put it back here so I can make a move on her? Or maybe she wishes she never came and is figuring out an excuse to leave. What if she–
"This is perfect," she said, opening the box of Bertie Botts and shaking a few into her hand. "I think I like it better than the Astronomy Tower, actually. It's cozier."
She handed him the box and he had to scramble not to drop it because he couldn't tear his gaze away from her face. The harried, irritated crease between her eyebrows had eased, and she looked content, relaxed, happy. He took a few Bertie Botts, selecting one at random for himself and handing Lily a green one.
She smiled, her fingers brushing his as she took the bean. "Thanks. The grass ones are my favorite."
"I know," he said, watching her lips part as she popped the bean into her mouth. An expression of satisfaction lit her face as she chewed and swallowed. Her tongue darted out to lick the last bit of lingering sweetness from her lips, and for the love of Merlin, how did she manage to look so sexy eating a piece of candy that tasted like grass?
"For the record," he said, forcing himself to stop staring at her lips, "I think you're a bloody weirdo for liking the grass flavor, but I'm not judging."
She gave his shoulder a playful shove. "Really? Because that sounded awfully judgemental to me."
She lay down on the blanket and looked up at the starry ceiling, and after a moment of frantic mental dithering, James stretched out beside her. His hand rested on the blanket just inches from hers, and for a wild moment he considered reaching out and taking it. The impulse passed when he imagined her snatching her hand away and storming off, so he folded his arms underneath his head to remove the temptation.
"I've realized something," she said, turning to look at him.
"Is it how gross the grass Bertie Botts are?" he asked, rolling onto his side to face her. "Because I could've told you that."
"Rude."
She pulled a bean from the box and tossed it at him. He was so distracted by their proximity that he didn't even try to snatch it out of the air, but instead let it bounce off his forehead before picking it up and eating it.
"Well, I was going to say something nice about you," she continued. "But now I think I've changed my mind."
"Come on, what were you going to say? Hearing people say nice things about me is one of my favorite pastimes."
He tried not to think about how close their faces were. Would her lips taste like grass Bertie Botts? He decided he wouldn't mind.
"I didn't realize it until recently, but you're a really good friend," she said, her green eyes locked on his. "I never noticed because I was distracted by how obnoxious you are, but you can be really sweet when you care about someone."
"Go on," he said, hardly daring to believe this conversation, this entire night, was actually happening. "What makes me a good friend? Why am I — how did you put it — really sweet when I care about someone?"
She laughed. "Don't let that go to your head," she cautioned. "I just meant, you always look out for your friends. I heard you tell off Olivia that time for calling Peter your fat little fanboy. And then there was the time the whole class stared at Remus when he nearly fainted in Arithmancy, but you distracted everyone by releasing that Snitch and standing on all the desks trying to catch it."
"That was an accident," James said, remembering the gratitude on Remus's weary face as he watched James jump straight into the air to catch the Snitch.
"No it wasn't," Lily said, shaking her head. "And as much as Sirius and Mary pretend they're just friends who shag, they tell each other things, and he's told her how much it means to him that you and your parents took him in like he's been part of the family all along."
James laughed and shook his head. "Padfoot would never say that."
"Well, no, not in as many words. But Mary knows him well enough to read between the lines." She paused, running her fingers over a pull in the blanket as James breathed in the floral scent of her shampoo.
"And tonight," she went on. "This was exactly what I needed. How did you know?" She laughed and shook her head. "Even I didn't know what I needed."
He tried to restrain the grin that was spreading across his face, but it was impossible.
"I guess I know you better than you think," he said, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her face before he could stop himself.
Something unfathomable flickered on her face, and for a moment James was convinced she was going to tell him off. Instead, she pushed a lock of hair off of his forehead and smiled. "I guess maybe you do."
His forehead was warm where she had touched him, and he lay there blinking at her, trying to form coherent thoughts from the jumble of excitement and disbelief racing through his brain. Lily waited for him to speak, but when he remained silent she laughed and rolled onto her back.
"I know I asked you to never mention it again, but I feel like we need to talk about Anne's ridiculous nickname. I mean, I know people get silly when they're in love, but really, what the actual fuck is wrong with them?"
With a supreme effort, James snapped out of his Lily-induced reverie and laughed.
"You're not wrong. It's probably the worst nickname I've ever heard. Even worse than whatever he used to call Mary when they were dating — was it Mare Bear?"
Lily made a gagging noise and laughed. The motion shifted her closer to James.
"Yup. I wonder what nickname he would make out of my name. Lily Billy?"
"What would mine be?" James mused. "Jamesie Wamesie?"
"Oh Merlin, that's awful," Lily said. "Can I call you that?"
Evans, you can call me whatever the hell you want, he thought, then promptly berated his brain for supplying him with such an unhelpful response.
"If you do, I'm hexing you," he said, grinning and rolling onto his back. "But since you said something nice about me, I'm going to tell you a somewhat embarrassing story about a nickname Peter's mom called him as a kid. You can't say anything, though, because he'd die of embarrassment."
He launched into the story, very aware of the small distance between the two of them and experiencing a thrill of excitement every time his words elicited a smile or laugh. The night wasn't even over yet, but as he paused to let Lily catch her breath after a prolonged fit of laughter, he mused that this was the best Valentine's Day he had ever had.
When they returned to Gryffindor Tower after a narrow escape from Filch, Lily's dormitory was dark and filled with the sound of slow, steady breathing. Anne's balloons bumped against the ceiling at the foot of her bed as Lily tiptoed past on her way to the bathroom. She changed into pajamas and slipped into bed, then lay there watching the moonlight illuminate Mary's David Bowie poster as she turned over the evening's events in her head. It had been a bad day, awful, even, and then suddenly it wasn't.
Did I really spend Valentine's Day lying on a blanket looking up at the stars with James Potter? A year ago she would have laughed at the idea, yet tonight she had been happy to eat his candy and laugh at his stories. She kept circling back to the tiny smile that had flickered across his face when she had told him grass was her favorite flavor, the casual happiness in his voice when he had said I know, like it was something he had always known.
She remembered the light brush of his fingers against her face as he pushed aside a stray piece of hair, the way their hands had touched when he handed her the Bertie Botts, the mere inches that separated them as they lay side by side on the blanket. Thoughts drifted to the surface of her mind that she usually didn't let herself entertain, but in the near-darkness of the dormitory she felt safe to indulge herself just for a moment, just this once…
She fell asleep with a smile on her lips and woke hours later with images of his confident grin and untidy hair still lingering in her mind. James Potter has somehow managed to infiltrate my thoughts even when I'm sleeping, she mused, still smiling. But if she was being honest with herself, she didn't really mind.