Are we ready for some angst? Muhaha.

I need a vacation

Anastasia

For someone who didn't eat much sugar or drink at all yesterday, I sure as hell am feeling the effects of a hangover or a runover I should say. A freight train, commuter train and various other forms of heavy public transport operations are running through my head and body. My day-old straight hair was decent enough to be dry shampooed into oblivion and neatly tucked away. I think I can make this work until Friday evening because I'm pretty sure I'll be tired tomorrow morning as well.

Sloane is bright and buzzing, as is Christian and I am just a tired mood hiding behind a quiet smile right now. I want my bed. Or Christian's body as my bed. I am not picky. Last night, I wanted to do some questionable things to him or let him do some questionable things to me but by the time we got to my room, I got very tired and emotional, then also remembered there's a child nearby so revisions had to be made to my very horny plans. But we still had our moment, full of lovey and floaty feelings.

"Earth to Miss Steele," Christian's voice calls out to me. "Are we boring you?"

"Yeah, Mommy. Are we boring you?"

I close my eyes and chuckle at being caught, "no, I'm just a little lost on the planet tired and sleepy. I think my next stop is the planet not feeling well."

"Then don't go in," Christian suggests, looking at me with a critical eye, reaching out to hold my hand to check my temperature and then my cheek for confirmation again. The gesture melts me into a needy puddle of emotions.

I lean into his touch and give him a lazy smile.

Sloane gasps, "we both can stay home!"

"Nice try," I squint my eyes at her, "I'm fine, I need to properly wake up and then I'll be good."

Christian doesn't seem convinced but I can't really look at him too much because he's the definition of illegal in that suit of his as he always is but this morning even more so. He's like a snack I'm not allowed to indulge in because I'm supposed to be watching my sugar intake. Or dick intake. Whatever, I should go on a diet and learn self-control because I'm so horny and tired and it's confusing.

These are the side effects of his amazingness yesterday. I really fucking love him so much right now. My body, brain, heart and soul are spinning out of control on planet love. That's what's happening.

Get it together, Steele.

"I know what you need to do, Mommy." Sloane says, taking a bite of her birthday cake.

Yes, she's having a piece of that with a glass of milk for breakfast because it's her birthday week and my brain power is limited. Christian couldn't help but take a bite too. We have brainwashed and conformed him to our ways of eating. Success!

"You need my chewable medicine to feel better."

"I need a vacation, Sloffee!" I groan.

"With peach daiquiris and pina coladas!" she adds, nodding in serious form.

"You can bet your Sloffee bottom on that!."

"What?" Christian laughs and I explain to him that last summer, Sloane and I came to Seattle for a weekend and Kate took us to this swanky new hotel for brunch. We ended up having a pool day and unlimited virgin peach daiquiris and pina coladas for her.

"Told you, very expensive and eclectic taste. I've taught her all I know."

Chrisitan laughs again, shaking his head and after a beat says, "noted and filed away."

"Aren't we the cutest sloths you ever saw in your life, Mommy?" Sloane asks, holding my phone up and then turns to Christian for confirmation on the picture of her and Greta. We both agree knowing what's good for us. She's been going through the pictures on our drive to her daycare. "And look Mommy, Sienna and her Mommy look so pretty standing with us."

"They do, don't they? We look like a power BFF-mommy-daughter-duo."

She giggles, nodding and swipes on, commenting on all the pictures till she gets to a few blurry pictures of the fireworks I took and then turns to Christian again. "Oh my, fireworks are my favorite. Can we see them again tonight?"

"Oh my god, Sloffee!" I laugh, "baby, we can't have them everyday only for special occasions and yesterday was a very special occasion."

"Okay fineeee," she drags the word out. Christian gives me a sly look that tells me he's considering Sloane's idea but I give him my mom look and shut him down. The poor neighborhood pets must have hated us last night.

Once we arrive, she high fives Christian, unbuckles herself and shuffles out behind me but stops and turns around the moment she exits the car to address her best friend.

"Okay best friend, I'll see you tonight. Don't have too much fun at work without me."

Christian laughs, "You got it, boss. But I hope you have fun at daycare."

"It's 'you got it, Sloth-boss!" She corrects him, "and I will have fun. All my friends are going to be here."

With a roll of my eyes, I speed up their goodbyes and close the door to lead my sloth-boss to her portal of fun for the day.

"You know, Sloffee. It's kind of unfair that Christian can't have fun without you but you're gonna have so much fun at daycare without him."

She stops in her tracks and contemplates what I've said.

"But Mommy, I have to have fun at daycare. It's the law."

I laugh at her reasoning and kiss her forehead. "Yeah but maybe Christian has friends at work too and you know how Hannah is my co-worker and friend, we have fun sometimes and make each other laugh."

"Okay then you can tell Christian for me to have fun at work."

"Oh my Sloffums, my generous Queen. I love you so." She looks so adorable right now in her red dress with tiny while polka dots on it and braided hair. I know I'm biased but she's the best in every way.

"I love you too, Mommy. But I have to go now." she says a little impatiently, watching a few more kids be led in.

With a one final kiss to her forehead and cheek, I release her into the care of one of Miss Limon's assistants and hurry back to the car.

The moment I'm in, I abandon all ladylike sense of decorum and climb on to Christian and begin to kiss him. He laughs through my attack on him and I hear the low hum of the privacy window go up.

"Good thinking because I'm really not thinking," I giggle. "By the way, I just got permission from Queen Sloth that you can have fun at work today. You're welcome."

He really laughs this time, "well if the Sloth-Boss says so then I must follow her orders."

We're both handsy and making out at the back of the car like teenagers and there is nothing soft and gentle about this like our moment from last night. This is pure heat and impatience, most definitely on my part because something's gotten into me and I'm refusing to question it. I'm going with the flow.

"Tonight," I whisper against his lips and tell him in explicit detail what I want him to do. How I want him to tie me up, how I want him to be rough, how I want him to mark me, in all those delicious ways I love. His breathing grows harsher and holds on to me tight to manage my movements because I'm sure as hell fuck out of luck for control. Watching him react to me in this way has brought me to the precipice of release and there's barely been any physical simulation between us outside of just sharing a few kisses. I really want him inside me in some way but we're short for time and I don't have another pair of panties… I really need to work on carrying an extra one–not pair but pairs!

"Ana… you can't–oh fuck!" he moans quietly into my neck and then I feel his hand wrap around the nape and pull on to my hair to create a better angle for him to reach the spot just behind my ear. I feel his teeth sink in, hard. Everything about him right now is just that, hard. His grip on me, his breathing, his cock… he's struggling to hold on and to keep me from squirming on top of him. I give in and still myself. His breathing is harsh and he grunts in protest a few times, "fuck waiting till tonight. Lunch today… my office."

"If that is what would please, Sir." I quip and he bites me again when I laugh. I moan because it feels so good.

When his breathing is calmer and he's somewhat relaxed from before, not entirely of course because I can still feel his erection, he lets out a breathy laugh. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I literally just told you what to do with me. Do I have to repeat myself because I will and this time I will not stop till the message has been fully received and understood." I warn and he laughs again indicating surrender.

"Such an impatient Mistress."

"It's your fault." I shrug and begin to massage his unruly and always just fucked looking hair. He closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling and sighs. I'd love to stay here all day but we've been idling outside of SIP for the past five minutes now. "I gotta go, stud."

He slowly opens his eyes and stares at me.

"Are you giving me puppy eyes?"

Raising both of his eyebrows in optimism, he smiles. "Is it working?"

I shrug, "maybe…".

"Damn, the Sloth was right. It does work," he chuckles, shamelessly.

My heart explodes, rivaling the firework sequence from last night. I fucking love this man so I do the only thing that makes sense, I kiss the life out of him before I leave him hard and wanting with a satisfied smile on my face.

"Have a great day at work, darling Ape, love you." I wink.

My feet wobble a little when I get out of the car to walk to SIP's entrance. I have to laugh to myself.

I am so drunk in love.

SIP may be a small operation but these people have been hoarding a lot of crap for years. And while we have a company coming in on Friday to officially move everything to GEH, we still have to weed through all the dusty and in some cases, moldy crap ourselves to make sure we're only taking what is needed and discarding the rest.

I feel as if I may expire here with all this junk from years ago.

Hannah and I are sequestered in my office, piling up the boxes. I swear this Jack guy was a hoarder too. And filthy. Thank god, Christian isn't a slob. Actually, I don't know that. He has Gail to pick up after him and hide his flaws. At my place, I've trained him a little bit to put his dishes in the sink or dishwasher… I think I should put him through the ultimate test. If he fails, I'll threaten to dump him for Ciara. That should be motivation enough. It's like her song, Love, Sex and Magic… except mine would be Love, Sex and Housework.

"Alright, you've got a dumb smile on your face. It's cute but it's also got me curious. What is up with you? Did you get some?" Hannah's voice snaps me out of my haze.

"Oh, uh…" I stammer into a small giggle fit. Hannah presses me for information and I tell her to close the door.

Since everyone obviously knows that we got bought out and have signed the airtight NDA's, I suppose it's okay for me to confide in Hannah. She's been a tremendous help to me not just in terms of helping me settle into the job but helping out with Sloane a few times as well.

"Alright," I sigh, trying not to smile like a fool again, "I've been seeing someone for a few weeks."

"WHO IS HE!?" Hannah is bursting at the seams like a small child.

"Christian Grey."

She's dumbstruck, computing the information I just told her, rolling her eyes around in their sockets trying to figure it all out.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

I nod sheepishly.

"You mean the mega boss man who owns this company now?"

I nod again, leaning back into the couch.

"Wait! How did that happen?"

I explain to her how we met at Waffle Kingdom and Sloane almost handed his ass to him. She's in hysterics and dying. "Can I borrow Sloane one day? I need her to find me a man."

"Go ahead," I laugh, "I mean yeah it's been about a month or so but there hasn't been a dull moment."

"The honeymoon phase is never dull, sweetie." Hannah says knowingly, "so you like him, huh?"

"I really like him," I wiggle my eyebrows and we both squeal.

She's smart enough to figure out that José's attempt at custody is triggered by my dating Christian and again offers her help for anything I may need on that front. I graciously thank her for it but tell her that for now, things are moving along as best as they can.

"Can you tell me what happened for real at Sloane's birthday party now?" She gives me a pointed look, "I have a feeling you've been holding out. Those five pictures definitely did not tell me the whole story."

I laugh and take my phone out. When she hears and sees what really went down all day, she's gasping for air and fanning herself.

"CIARA?" Hannah squeals. "THAT IS CIARA!"

"I KNOW!"

"But also, credit where credit is due… he did good. Which means you gotta do him good."

My cheeks flame to a dangerous shade of red I'm sure, "I know… I want to do him till he's done and in need of a defibrillator."

"Exactly. Take him to church, heaven, hell and then bring him back to earth to rinse and repeat."

I am unable to resist bursting into howling laughter.

Hannah's off to fetch herself her second dose of caffeine for the morning, while I'm taping up some boxes in my office. My office line rings and I immediately pick it up.

"Anastasia Steele speaking," I answer in my usual professional manner.

"Well, well. I see you got your fake boyfriend to buy your little publishing company," José sneers on the other end.

Fuck, the news went out today about SIP being acquired by GEH. I completely forgot. Does he have google alerts on Christian?

"The paper bag method must've been quite effective."

My mood plummets immediately and I'm almost crushing the phone handle in my hand. I have so much that I can say to him and I really should exercise some patience because–oh fuck this shit!

"Someone sounds a little jealous and unable to rise up to the occasion and competition." I snipe with a smug smile, feeling so much better now.

He barks out a menacing laugh. Yeah, I hit a nerve and I have a feeling I'm about to regret it.

You really shouldn't have done that, Ana. But the shit from last week is still on my mind and I can't help it if the psycho badger in me needs some revenge right now.

But to my surprise he changes his tone.

"I called multiple times last night and even this morning. Not once did you allow me to speak to Sloane." It's true he did but we were busy.

"We were busy. You knew she was celebrating her birthday."

"You deprived me of the chance to speak to my daughter."

What the fuck is he on about? "You spoke to her yesterday morning. Or is your memory failing you?"

"Yes but I wasn't done speaking to her then," he huffs, "I don't know what the hell you're teaching her because she was disrespectful to me as her father to my wife who happens to be her stepmother."

"Sloane has her own mind, if she doesn't like something, I've taught her to be as loud as she can be about it." I tell him. "I am her mother, José. Your wife is just that, your wife. She will never be accepted as a mother figure to my daughter. Sloane made that crystal clear yesterday."

"Because of you," he grits out, "you are turning her against me and not letting her have a chance to get to know someone who is important to me. You've poisoned her mind against us with whatever high school vendetta you're still holding on to. Grow up, Ana."

This man is fucking delusional. I need to hang up.

"And because of all this shit, my own daughter doesn't want me attending her birthday party. There is no way she came up with that on her own. You coached–"

He was three hours late to her 1st one, citing traffic and Sloane had fallen asleep by the time he arrived. He was absent for her second and third one. He showed up for the fourth one and got her a doll which was so unimaginative that Sloane never played with it. This year, Sloane exercised her right and I'm proud as fuck of her.

"Nope," I cut him off, "you did that all by yourself. She doesn't like hanging out with you because you never pay attention to her when you do. You don't encourage any of the things she likes. You don't even know what her favorite color is."

He scoffs, "it's pink."

"It's yellow, Josè! Because she loves sunflowers and how they always smile at the sun." I inform him. "You saw her room, it's painted yellow with polka dots because she loves them. But of course, if you paid any attention to her wants and needs rather than your own then maybe, just maybe… you could actually earn your place in life rather than leaving the position wide open for someone else to show her what a real father and leader looks like."

"Watch it, Annie, you're getting ahead of yourself again." He warns. "Remember our conversation at the mediation and what we agreed on?"

"We didn't agree on anything."

"But we should, for Sloane's sake. Since you're such a wonderful mother, right?"

Tears prick my eyes and close them to take a calming breath.

"You're putting a price on her head. I'm not going down this route. Don't you care that she's just a little girl and you're using her as a pawn."

"I guess you chose your pride. Just like Carla did. What is he really promising you, Annie? It's okay, you can tell me." He chuckles and a tear rolls down my cheek. I'm pissed that the mention of being her daughter still affects me this way. "Saturday, I want to see her. Don't ignore my calls or I'm going to add that to my list of growing concern for her well-being. It'll only make my case stronger for custody, Annie."

"Whatever," I choke out and hang up.

Time is going by so fucking slowly. I glance at the clock again and see that it's only been a minute since I last checked it. I still have a good 45 minutes till lunch and I can see Christian. I was so happy this morning and now, I just want to go home and curl up in my bed.

There's no fucking way I'm playing José's game. I am not giving him that power over me and Sloane.

My cell phone rings this time and I check the caller ID, it's my gynecologist. What? I answer the call immediately.

"Anastasia, I'm glad I was able to catch you. Are you free to speak for a few minutes?"

My scalp prickles and my mouth goes dry, "y-yes, of course. Is everything alright?"

I hear her sigh, "we just received word from the company that manufactures the depo shots that were administered in the last two months that they were a bad batch. Yours was administered within that time frame as well."

The ground falls out from beneath me and my heart sinks for the second time in the span of an hour.

"Have you been experiencing any symptoms?" Dr. Delancey asks, I reply shakily in the affirmative. The only thing I haven't had is morning sickness but my appetite has fluctuated a bit. "I see, I would advise that you take a few at home tests and in the event it is negative, also come by my office for a visit. Would you be available tomorrow or perhaps Saturday morning? My office isn't usually open but we're making a special effort to cater to the patients who fell into that timeline."

We agree on a time for tomorrow afternoon instead and I simultaneously shoot a quick text to Kate and Ethan if they can pick up Sloane and watch her for a little bit in case I'm running late.

It's been a few minutes since the call ended and I am completely numb. There is no way that I can be pregnant. I don't want to be. I can't handle it. Not right now. There's too much happening. I barely have gotten myself to a good place, a pregnancy would shatter all that… I can't risk it.

The walls start to close in on me. I cannot be pregnant. I just can't. All the reasons why this would be a bad fucking idea start to fast forward in my mind at blinding speed.

I sit back down on my chair and hold my head in my hands and hold my breath to keep myself sobbing in a panic but I'm unable to hold it in and end up losing my cool.

"FUCK!"

A/N: Alright, let's hear it. At least there was a little Sloffee happiness continued on in this chapter, right?

Feel free to sound off in the reviews all the ways you want to get rid of José.

Ana is possibly pregnant. Why do you think she's freaking out? Pros and cons to her being pregnant right now? No matter what the outcome of her test, there will be angst. Can't help it, tis in my blood.