Carlisle's POV
"You know what it is, don't you?" Edward asks. His words are less of a question and more of an accusation.
"Yes."
"What is it and why do I feel that way when I smell it?" He wants to know as raindrops fall on us.
I believe I have figured out what I should say to put him at ease. I give it a go.
"The feelings you have described to me are completely normal and natural." I stress on that, not wanting him to think there's something wrong with him. Because there isn't. "You are experiencing a state of arousal while around your mate. Which can be overwhelming because you have never felt this way for anyone before."
Edward's eyes widened. "Bella's my mate?" He makes no attempt to hide how stun he is.
"Yes, she is." I reply, matter-of-factly.
"I never thought I'd have a mate." He admits. "I only knew I prefer spending time with her above everyone else."
"After all these years you finally found your mate." I grin, showing how happy I am for him.
I let my thoughts flow freely, letting him see inside my mind so he knows what I say is true. Bella is more than his first infatuation. She's indeed his mate.
His only response is a sudden wide grin.
He seems overjoyed with this information, and I wish this was the end of our father/son talk. The part where we head home and engage in our nightly activities. But it's not. There's more that must be said before we can return home.
"As for the odor you have mentioned," I uncomfortably clear my throat.
"The mouthwatering smell which comes from Bella and makes me lose my mind." He corrects me, adding unnecessary information.
"Um, yes." I clear my throat again. "Well, that would be her feminine arousal."
"Feminine arousal?" He repeats in the form of a question. His tone is full of disbelief.
I nod my head. "The essence of a feminine arousal is a bit like a female erection —"
"Do females actually get hard when aroused?" He cuts me off.
I nod my head yes. 'Clitoral erection.'
The look on his face is one of wonder. Before he has a chance to ask how it's possible, I show him memories of drawings from medical books I've read on this very topic.
From my mind to his, information is silently passing about how blood rushes to the erectile tissue that makes up the clitoris (the same tissue as a penis), causing it to become engorged and very sensitive. Which in fact is a female erection.
"I wasn't aware girls could get a hard-on, of sorts." He speaks. "Is it the same process as when it happens to me?"
'Yes.' I silently answer his question.
"Interesting." He blinks his eyes in amazement.
"Though their bodies don't react exactly as ours does." I clarify, choosing to speak aloud now.
"How come I haven't noticed it?" He wonders.
"Because when females get erections, they aren't really noticeable." I begin to explain. "However, due to our heightened sense of smell, when a female becomes aroused, we are able to smell it." I pause for a second and continue. "When it's our mate's arousal, the aroma triggers a response from the male, as you have mentioned. Which is perfectly natural."
"So, Bella's aroused by me?" Edward smiles. His grin is a mile wide, not hiding how excited he is.
I close my eyes. That was definitely not the response I was hoping for.
"I can't believe she's aroused by me…" He lets his voice trail off. He sounds like he's in a trance.
I open my eyes, rub my forehead, and take in a deep breath. Breathing in the fresh air, earthy smells of the forest, and the scent of rain, I see the wheels turn in my young son's mind. He seems very intrigued, and a bit too accelerated by this newfound information. Immediately I'm concerned by his demeanor.
Seeing this is the perfect time as any, I begin to explain in a medical professional way about the differences between male and female arousals and the reasons why both are different. He listens, asking questions every now and then.
As thick raindrops fall our conversation goes from the importance of arousals to the mechanics of sex, along with all the ramifications. Same as before, he listens, asking questions when something sparks his curiosity. Some of his questions reflect on his innocence, while others show how much he is maturing into a teenage boy with one thing on his mind, which has me going into a speech of how physical intimacy should not be treated lightly. Along with my beliefs of abstinence.
Though I strongly believe in maintaining abstinence until marriage, I do not wish to impose my will on him. He is free to make his own choices and I want him to know that.
"With all talk of abstinence aside," I say seriously. "You may choose to remain abstinent until marriage, or you may choose to have sex before marriage." I pause for a second, letting him take in that information. "Now, I am not advising you to go off and have sex. Nor am I trying to discourage you. All I am doing is informing you that either way is okay."
"It is?" Edward wonders.
The expression on his young face gives away how new and confusing all this is for him. It doesn't matter that he has existed for 102 years, this concept is brand new to him, just as if we were back in 1918.
"Yes." I answer honestly. "The choice is yours. Only you can be the one to make that decision, no one else. Just make sure you're ready and not rushing into it."
Edward doesn't respond. His eyes drift to the raindrops, landing in the dirt. He's perfectly still, focusing on the dirt that's now turning into mud.
He seems to be contemplating something. I can only guess that might have something to do with the morals that are forever instilled in him from his human life.
"It's natural for teenage couples to experiment with sexual gratification long before marriage is even thought of. Nothing to be ashamed about." I calmly point out, and he looks at me.
I take in his innocence, his unsureness on this topic, and how much he doesn't want to disappoint me. But this isn't about me.
"With that being said," I continue without skipping a beat. "Sex is a big deal. Whether it be intense rubbing each other's genitals inside or outside of clothing, or actual intercourse, it's nothing to be treated lightly. Or to rush into." I can't stress the last part enough. "It's also something that both participants must consent to. Always be a gentleman and respect her wishes."
"Understood." He agrees. "That's what I did today."
As the last part of what he said leaves me confused, I begin to wonder if this talk has come a little too late.
Raising one eyebrow, I think directly at him. 'Son, care to elaborate?'
Heavy rain drops fall from the sky, splattering the dirt and creating mud puddles all around us as I wait for him to answer. He says nothing. I patiently wait while trying not to let my fears get the better of me.
A smile plays on the corner of his lips. "Kissing. Dad, I'm talking about kissing Bella." He chuckles.
"Oh! You kissed her?" I say, sounding very relieved.
Nodding his head, he laughs at my reaction.
'Congrats.' My thoughts are joyous.
Edward chuckles nervously. If he were human, I have no doubt he would be blushing.
Playfully I nudged him with my elbow. He immediately does the same to me.
"Can I ask you something else?" He wonders as our playfulness comes to an end. "It's a little deeper and maybe…a bit inappropriate?"
The last part is in the form of a question. I'm not sure why that is. He seems apprehensive but he should know by now that he can tell me anything. There's nothing he can say that would make me think badly of him.
'No need to be shy.' I silently reassure him. 'You can tell me. I won't judge you.'
"Okay." He says in a shaky breath. "I was wondering if it's possible for a vampire and a human to…"
His voice trails off and I and a look of embarrassment colors his face. I'm left guessing what he's getting at. I believe I know.
"If a vampire and human can have sex?" I finish what I suspect his sentence was.
"Yeah." He replies sheepishly.
"It is," I answer honestly. "But if that should happen while she's still human, you would have to be very gentle." I speak from my own experience of my time with Esme before her transformation. "You and Bella would also need to think about birth control since male vampires are able to produce venom based seminal fluid."
"I know." He speaks rapidly.
"Well," I go on. "If you and Bella are intimate and aren't being safe, she has a chance of becoming pregnant."
"I have no immediate plans to have sex." His tone is honest. "Besides, Emmett and Jasper provided me with enough condoms to last for five years. I'm sure of it."
His words don't come as a surprise to me. Leave it to my oldest boys to do something like that.
"Of course, they did." I shake my head.
"Yeah," He says a little too quickly. "But how exactly can a human and vampire have intimacy?"
He gives me a shy look. It's clear he wants to have a better understanding. It's also evident that if I don't elaborate on this, we will keep coming back to this one question.
"It's possible due to human instincts kicking in at the moment." I explain calmly. Again, I'm speaking from my own experience, while blocking him out of my mind by thinking about a patient I took care of in the ER today. The poor man unfortunately had a run-in with a nail gun on his thigh. It was very gruesome.
Images flash across my memory, all of Esme when she was younger and human, on our wedding night. How I remember that night like it was yesterday.
Waves crashed outside our house on our private island. No one was around for miles. At the time we did not have any children, no one to disturb us. It was just us two.
Our first time alone to kiss and explore, and we were certainly doing a lot of kissing. Very intense kissing, which I had never allowed before that moment. She laid in the middle of the bed; her caramel color hair fanned out on the pillow as I slowly began to undress her.
It didn't take long, and soon she was unbuttoning my shirt. But she was human and nervous, it was her first time. Therefore, I had helped out and unfastened the buttons for her so she could remove the garment off of me before she struggled with my trousers.
Soon both of us were as naked as the day we were born. We laid on the bed side by side, fondling each other. She was human and I was not. She knew what I was, there were no lies. She loved me and wanted to become what I was. I was willing to fulfill her wish, my only requirements were marriage and for her to remain human until she was closer to my age.
With our intense kissing our passion grew, and soon I was on top of her. My knee nudged hers to the side as we kissed.
Both of us moaned as I slowly penetrated her. I felt every inch of her warm, moist inner walls take me in. She was tight and I heard her cry out in pain as I went feather in.
"Esme, are you okay?" I asked, stopping my moments.
"Mm-hmm," She patted my back, encouraging me to go on.
After a few seconds I continued with slow consistency, her warm arms wrapped around my back. She was shy at first, holding her face in the crook of my neck, but soon pleasure overtook her, and she was letting go.
Her legs wrapped around my waist as I thrusted faster, both of us moaning and groaning.
Finally, being intimate with Esme after abstinence during our courtship was sheer bliss.
All I wished for in that moment was to love on her for days on end, but she was human and would need sleep soon after. Though that was the least of my concerns as I thrusted deep into her, letting her fill every inch of me…
"STOP! DAD!" Edward shouts, shaking my shoulders. "Stop thinking about that right now!"
Above the sound of the wind and the rain my son, begging and shouting and calling my name breaks through my personal thoughts. Which I have been carefully guarding from him by thinking about my eventful day in the ER.
"No. You. Haven't." Edwards says every word very slowly and deliberately. He drops his hands from my shoulders and takes a step back.
He's standing in front of me. Rain pouring down, soaking his clothes and drenching his hair that's usually messy and sticking out every which way. But is now clinging to the sides of his face, oddly, resembling a mop. A wild expression is painted across his face with a look of fear in his eyes. He appears sick, horrified, distraught, and scared.
A wolf howls in the distance and realization sinks in. I let my guard down and accidentally showed him things he was never supposed to see. Moments between his mother and me that I didn't want him to ever know existed.
"I saw everything." His voice is shaky. His breath is heavy and uneven. "I tried to get your attention, but you ignored me!"
"Sorry, that was not my intention." I apologize, feeling horrible about what I have done.
Wanting to take away his shock from what he witnessed, I get up off the log. I extend my arms, preparing to wrap him in a hug.
With a petrified look on his face, he flings himself back, approximately 30 feet from me.
"No." He says firmly, outstretching his arms. The palm of his hands facing me, telling me to stop. "Please keep your distance. You traumatized me."
Trying to shrug off the sting of rejection, I stay right where I am.
"Edward, I'm so sorry." I don't try to hide my remorse. "You were never meant to see the things I was thinking about. I did not do that on purpose."
Edward doesn't move from his spot or even speak. His mouth is pressed in a hard line, the wild look never leaves his eyes, and his body trembles ever so slightly. A human wouldn't be able to see the moment, but I do, and I know the trembling is from fear of what he has seen.
In my mind, I make it known to him that every word I said was true. I regret being careless with my thoughts, how I wish I could erase that moment from his mind.
Staying where we are with 30 feet between us, rain pouring down on both of us. I silently tell him how sorry I am. I can't say that enough. The look of severe trauma never leaves his eyes when he looks my way.
I feel sick from this.
"From the first thought you had, I warned you I could read those thoughts." Edward finally speaks. "But you kept on thinking of those horrific, graphic images." He shudders.
"I know. I didn't mean to. My deepest apologies." I feel so bad about this incident. Not to mention very embarrassed. "I was deep in thought and didn't hear your —"
"Minutes ago!" He cuts me off, throwing his hands up in the air. "You told me not to look up porn on the Internet. But here I just saw the worst, most disgusting kind of porn there is." He spates out. "I'm a mind reader who can see inside people's minds after all! Or did you forget?"
His words are flowing fast and loud. He's acting like the emotional teenager he is and showing me just how upset he is. It's understandable he's distressed, and I have no one to blame but myself.
"No, Son, I didn't forget." I speak truthfully. Very carefully trying not to rub salt on his wounds I add, "My deepest apologies. Please know, it was never my intention for you to see a sacred act of love between your mother and I."
Edward's mouth drops open. He stands there, staring at me with a blank expression upon his face.
I take his moment of silence to express my deepest regret, for what seems like the hundredth time. Wanting to close the distance between us I take a step forward, then another, hoping he will not feel the need to flee.
"It was absolutely disgusting, Carlisle." He says, sounding younger than his seventeen years. "I can't believe you and mom actually do that."
"It's a natural act to show love to a mate." I explain, waking over to him.
"It's revolting! That's what it is." He pushes his wet hair out of his face. "I'm traumatized and in desperate need of counseling."
I stop walking and rub my forehead.
Out of my three boys Edward has always been my most sensitive son. He also has a flair for the dramatics, which doesn't always make intense conversations easy.
"You scarred me for life!" He yells, proving my point about being dramatic. "Which is for all of eternity because I can never die."
I take a deep breath and continue to rub my forehead.
There's never any telling how long his outbursts will last.
Back in 1977 he became ridiculously dramatic over fruit after his ninth-grade art teacher had the class draw a basket of assorted produce. His banana was very questionable, it didn't resemble a fruit at all and he received a poor grade for it. Which resulted in him skulking around the house for two weeks and glaring at every banana he came in contact with.
To say he had the demeanor of a grumpy toddler who received the wrong color cup at lunch time, is putting it very mildly.
Another wolf is heard howling in the far-off distance. Before I can take another step closer to him, or say anything else my son is gone, running off like he was shot out of a cannon.
I watch helplessly as he makes a mad dash through the forest. Darting between trees and around bushes in the pouring rain.
I don't go after him. It's better to allow him space to better get in control of his adolescent tantrum, of sorts. With him being my youngest child, he has always been prone to rapid mood swings. He'll calm down, eventually.
With a deep sigh, I turn in the other direction. Making my way back to my car to start the journey home, where I shall report to my wife that The Talk took a very unfortunate turn. A very unusual turn as well.
There's no doubt in my mind that Esme and I will have to have a soothing talk with Edward. To make sure he's emotionally stable after seeing my private memories that I never meant for him to see.
Getting closer to my Mercedes, which I parked where the pavement ends. I get this uncountable feeling in my gut and can only hope that Edward is headed home.
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Thank you for reading. :))
Poor Edward. He's really traumatized after seeing Carlisle's second-hand memories, which is the equivalent of walking in on his parents.
Think Edward is headed home or not?
Leave a review. I enjoy hearing from you.