Authors Note: Again, mentions of Self-harm and some SH scenes, but nothing too graphic. Please be safe and know you're loved!

Some things in my story I have picked up from other wonderful writers like Remus being Harry's godmother, Sirius being called 'Dadfoot', Remus being an animagus, Marauder Quarters, and I'm sure some more. I'm happy to credit any authors who claim anything!

I know for sure 'Dadfoot' was taken from whydoyouneedtoknow and their Dangerverse stories (which are amazing, I highly recommend!) and they also don't know where they picked up Dadfoot.

I've also probably unconsciously taken things from PadyandMoony because their 'First Day of Class' universe is one of my comfort fics. More stories I highly recommend!

Here's the next chapter:

Harry ran. He heard Sirius calling after him, but he didn't dare stop. He couldn't. Anger, hurt, and pain were radiating off Harry in waves. He vaguely remembers running into Remus but didn't stop them either. Harry ran to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom where he promptly threw up his measly breakfast. When he was done he wiped his mouth and stepped out, only to be confronted with Myrtle.

"Hiya, Harry." She said, getting close up to him.

Harry, still pulsating with emotions he has repressed for so long, couldn't handle being confronted by anyone, not even a ghost. He didn't need Myrtle blabbing his secrets to every soul who wandered by.

Harry sprinted out, not even knowing where he was running to, he just wanted to get away. He made his way to the 4th floor where he was near a secret hallway Sirius and Remus showed him once.

He entered and made his way into the nearest classroom, tears running down his cheeks. Harry slammed the door behind him and screamed.

He kicked some desks and made his way to a wall where he sunk to the floor and cried.

Of course, Sirius had to find out. No one was supposed to find out about his scars. The blood quill was bad enough, but not his other ones.

They'd think he was crazy.

They'd pity him.

They'd be disgusted.

They'd never trust him.

They'd send him away.

He was so angry at himself for being so careless and having a poor glamour on them.

His magic swirled around him, pushing away the desks that were stored in the room.

Harry looked around, desperate to find something to help him. He saw a small rock that was a few feet away. He reached and grabbed it before rubbing it against his wrist and arm.

Harry let out a breath, feeling the pain inflicted on his arm. He could think clearly with this pain and it was something he could control. He became faster and harder, rubbing the rock on his scarred skin, trying to release his anger, fear, and hurt. He needed to get rid of some of it before he would be able to think of a plan for what would happen next. He yelled again, not wanting the pain of losing more people he loved.

At that thought, Harry pressed down even harder with the rock. He went to repeat the motion when all of a sudden, the rock was gone from his hand.

Harry looked around and then up, where he saw Remus standing in the doorway.

He stood up, his fists clenched. "You had NO RIGHT!" He yelled.

Remus waved his wand, shutting and locking the door and putting up a silencing charm.

"Just leave me ALONE!" Harry shouted again, fresh, hot tears pouring down his face.

"I can't do that right now," Remus said calmly.

Harry let out a frustrated moan and turned around, trying to find something he could use on his arm.

"You won't find anything, I vanished anything you could use," Remus said, again, very calmly, taking a couple of steps toward Harry.

Harry let out a yell and clenched his fists, punching the wall. He quickly realized that his caused him pain and he kept doing it, faster and with more force.

"Go" Harry shouted between punches, "Away!"

Remus walked towards Harry, wanting him to stop punching the wall, but was pushed away by his accidental magic.

Faster and faster he punched, feeling the skin on his knuckles get scraped away.

It didn't take much before Harry saw blood on the wall where he was punching it, which only encouraged him to do it harder.

It didn't last long, though, because Harry felt his arms being grabbed and his body pushed up against Remus', who was able to fight through the magic that was pushing him away.

"Let me go!" He shouted, fighting against the restraints.

"No, you're harming yourself. I don't want you to hurt yourself." Remus said, still calm.

"Leave me be! I'm FINE" Harry groaned, doing anything he could to escape the grasp of his uncle.

"Let! Me! Go!" Harry roared, starting to kick against Remus.

Somewhere in the room glass broke and a desk flew up and slammed against a wall, breaking into pieces. Harry's anger and fear were unleashed.

Remus, however, was not budging on his hold with Harry. He could immobilize him or perform a sticking charm, but he didn't want to. He knew Harry needed to feel someone. Besides, his magic was out of control and could probably break a spell.

"I'm so angry!" Harry shouted, still fighting.

"That's okay. You can be angry." Remus said calmly.

"I'm so mad!" Harry shouted, not even noticing he just repeated the same emotion.

"You're allowed to be mad," Remus said.

"And- and hurt," Harry said, his voice not nearly as loud as it was, and stopped kicking Remus.

"Mmhmm, you're allowed to be hurt." Remus agreed.

"And afraid," Harry said, barely fighting. He pushed his shoulders against Remus with little effort.

"Yeah, you can be afraid," Remus said quietly, near Harry's ear.

Harry stopped fighting and started to cry. These were not tears of anger, but tears of hurt and pain.

Remus held him there for a moment, making sure he was done fighting back before turning the boy around and engulfing him in a hug.

Professor Lupin would not always do that, but Uncle Moony knew this is what was right.

Harry wrapped his arms around his uncle and cried. He relished the feeling of the soft cardigan on his face. He smelled the lavender vanilla fabric softener he used and also a hint of Padfoot.

After a few minutes, Harry's cries stopped. He stayed nestled in his uncle for another minute before releasing him.

"I don't really wanna talk about it," Harry mumbled, heading back towards the wall and floor. He slid down, looking at the ground.

"Listening and talking is sort of my job, kiddo," Remus said, sitting down next to Harry.

Harry looked at him, his green eyes full of anger, hurt, and resentment. "Sorry, Professor Lupin." He spat.

Remus quickly realized what Harry thought he meant. "Cub, no. I mean, yes, it is my job at Hogwarts, but I'm not here as a school counselor or therapist. I'm not here as Professor or Healer Lupin. I'm here as your Uncle Moony, who just so happens to be a therapist."

Remus very well knew that he was also here in a professional capacity, but he knew Harry needed to know that his Uncle Moony was here willingly, not just someone who was "obligated" to be here.

Harry's eyes softened a bit at the ground, the resentment leaving them. "Okay," Harry said, acknowledging what the man next to him said.

"Harry, we need to talk about this. We can start wherever you want. I'm here to listen." Remus said encouragingly.

"I-I can't, Uncle Moony. There's too much to lose." Harry said after almost a minute of silence.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, having a few ideas but not wanting to get ahead of himself.

"You and Dadfoot," Harry said quietly.

"Harry, there is absolutely nothing in this whole world you could say or do to make us stop loving you. We will not leave you. None of this," Remus said, gesturing towards his arms, "is your fault. None of it. We love you just as much as we did a day, a year, a decade ago." Remus chuckled to himself. "Ha, I take it back, we love you more and more every single day and nothing will change that. This doesn't push us away and we will never abandon you, especially now." Remus said, trying to catch the eyes of his godson.

"Wouldn't you send any other student away?" Harry grumbled, not meeting his uncle's eye.

Remus, assuming he was talking about the self-harm said, "Not usually. We'd treat their physical injuries at the hospital wing. Some might spend some time at home or with a professor. If it's really serious then we do send them to St. Mungo's, but they are always checked on by us and welcomed back and that's after multiple attempts of us working to protect them here at Hogwarts." Remus admitted.

"What about me?" Harry asked, fearing the answer.

"Well, we aren't about to send you to St. Mungo's, if that's what you're asking."

Harry felt an invisible weight lifted off his shoulders and he let out a small sigh in relief.

"Beyond that, I don't know. Why don't you tell me what's going on and we can decide."

Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes. "We? Yeah right. You're not going to include me."

"Harry, yes I am. You will get choices. It may not be your first option, but I'm not going to treat you like an invalid, because you're not one." Remus assured him.

Harry felt tears come to his eyes. He didn't know how much he needed Remus to say that until now.

Harry took a deep breath and asked, "Okay, what part do you want to hear?"

"Whatever you're most comfortable discussing first," Remus said.

Harry sighed pulling his hands through his hair.

Remus, still not able to catch Harry's eyes or see his full face, slid a chocolate bar on the floor to Harry.

The corners of Harry's mouth turned up the slightest bit as he opened the bar and broke a bit off, putting it in his mouth.

"The-the words," Harry said after two minutes of silence and chewing.

Remus nodded and gently squeezed Harry's shoulder, assuring him he was listening.

"I got them in detention." He said, hoping to leave it at that.

"I'm going to need a bit more than that," Remus admitted softly, pushing the chocolate closer to Harry.

Harry sighed, frustrated, but the chocolate he had calmed him down.

"I got detention because of what I said in class. The professor didn't like it. They had me write lines that said, uh, well, you know." Harry said, gesturing to his hand.

Remus' eyes wandered to his hand where the words seemed to glisten.

"Mmhmm. I know." Remus said, knowing that he had certain battles to fight today and hurdles to tackle with Harry and that was not one of them.

"I tried to pull out my ink but they said their quill didn't need it. I was supposed to write until the message 'sunk in'. I noticed what it was doing, but I couldn't give that professor the satisfaction." Harry spat, angry again.

"Harry, what professor was this?" He asked, despite being able to guess the answer.

Harry shook his head.

"Okay, what about what they said you lied about? What was it?"

Harry shook his head again, his fists clenched.

"I need to know one or the other." Remus prodded.

"Abvolm," Harry mumbled, turning his head.

"I didn't catch that," Remus said.

"About Voldemort!" Harry yelled, his fingers still clenched. "I said Voldemort had returned and what he'd done and-" Harry stopped talking, his jaw set in anger. A desk in the room scraped across the floor.

"Shh, you're okay," Remus said, moving closer to Harry and putting his arm around his shoulder. "That's not a lie, and we know it." He agreed quietly.

It was quiet for a few more minutes as Harry ate some more chocolate.

"Harry, the lines, was it written in your blood?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" He asked.

Remus bit his tongue and took a breath calming himself. "How many detentions have you had?" He asked.

"I dunno." Harry shrugged. "But that's part of the reason you haven't seen me. I've had them almost every Tuesday and Thursday from 5 to 9 since the beginning of school."

"That vile toad!" Moony said, not able to hold back.

Harry froze. "I-I didn't say who it was." He stuttered.

"Harry, who else would it be? McGonagall? And we all know Trewlany doesn't assign detentions." Remus pointed out.

"You can't say anything! You can't!" He pleaded, finally looking at Remus.

Remus was shocked at the pleading look on his godson's face. He was quiet and thought about what to say.

"Harry, did it occur to you that this might be happening to someone else, too?"

Harry opened his mouth, but shut it, not expecting that question to come out of Remus' mouth. He opened his mouth again and shut it.

"Harry, I can assure you that you're not the only one she's using this on. It's something called a Blood Quill. It's illegal and a very dark object."

Remus let that sink in before moving on to the next part. "Harry, I can see you want to handle it. I can see that you don't want to get anyone else involved. I know you and trust you, but I don't want her hurting you or anyone else for that matter. A first or second year doesn't deserve this either."

Harry's head shot up and he looked at Remus again. "Y-you think she's using it on them?" He asked incredulously.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I do. I don't have proof yet, but I have heard some talk about some nasty detentions and some students have alluded to some young students getting some nasty detentions. I saw a second-year who had their hand wrapped rather poorly and said they fell during flying lessons." Remus said, sighing.

Harry nodded, quiet for a few minutes. "I get- I mean- I know you have to do something about it, but can it just not be tonight? I can't even imagine telling Dumbledore." Harry said, his voice hitching at the end.

Remus saw how Harry started to breathe faster and he saw his face start to shut down.

"Hey, hey, we don't have to do anything tonight. We're not talking about Professor Dumbledore or anyone else right now. Let's not worry about that right now. We will cross that bridge then." Remus said gently, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and rubbing softly.

"Take some breaths with me," Remus said, encouragingly.

Harry took breaths with Remus, used to this. He's had panic attacks since he was a kid because of the Dursleys and his Uncle Moony has always been able to calm him down.

When Harry had calmed his breathing down, Remus shoved the chocolate toward him once again, silently telling him to take another chunk.

Harry did, eating the chocolate silently.

"Even as a baby, I was the one who could calm you down. Your mum called me in the middle of the night more than once, saying it was 'a godmothers' duty'." Remus chuckled.

"Really?" Asked Harry, intrigued.

Remus nodded. "Really. Your parents would be so proud of you right now." He said, running a hand through Harry's hair.

Harry stiffened at that comment.

"Harry?" Remus asked, noticing the shift in his godson. Remus removed his hand and tried to catch the boy's eyes again.

"Don't say that," Harry said coldly.

"They would be proud of you right now, I know that for a fact," Remus said firmly, not backing down.

"No! No one would be. Who would be proud of someone with scars down their arm!" Harry yelled, standing up. As soon as he realized what he said he crumpled back to the floor, crying.

Remus gave him a few seconds before saying, "Harry, I know you might not be able to believe this right now, but they would be. And so many people are proud of you. I know what's going on and I am just as proud of you as I was. If anything, I'm more proud because talking about it is hard. It takes guts. I am so proud of you."

"And Dadfoot?" Harry asked, peeking out from his hands that were hiding his face.

"I know he is so proud of you. The man might have a huge ego, but his pride for you surpasses anything I've ever seen. You are the light in his- our- life. We are more proud of you than anyone could be." Remus assured him honestly.

"Uncle Moony, why?" Harry asked, putting his hands down and looking at his godmother. "I- I-" Harry looked down now. "I hurt myself. You saw me. You can't be proud of that." He whispered.

Remus was proud simply in that last whispered sentence. "Oh, Harry, my cub." He said, not able to hold back anymore. Remus moved in front of Harry, putting his hands on his shoulders and looking at him in his eyes.

"I am so proud of you. You harming yourself is you trying to fight back. It's your coping mechanism. It's not a healthy one, no, but it was you doing everything you could to simply survive, despite what the world and your head are telling you. You are strong for even uttering those words. For so many others it takes months for them to say them out loud, which is perfectly fine, but this shows how brave you are and I am so proud of you. I told you, nothing you can do can change how much your Dadfoot and I love you. We are proud of you."

Harry started to cry as Remus said this, again, hearing words his own mind told him he'd never hear.

"You are loved," Remus assured him.

Harry threw himself towards his Uncle Moony, once again burying his face in the cardigan. He stayed there until he could stop crying and then took a few breaths in the cardigan, before realizing he had ruined it.

"Uh, sorry I got it all wet," Harry muttered.

"Harry, I don't mind at all. Besides, we're wizards." Remus reminded him, waving his wand and the cardigan was dry and clean once again.

"Well, I guess you want to hear about that now," Harry grumbled.

Remus took his place next to Harry again, seeing how that made Harry more comfortable. Remus stayed silent, not denying what Harry said.

"Where do you want me to start?" Harry asked, sighing, already thinking about how to cover things up and not talk about 'why'.

"Where ever you feel comfortable," Remus answered gently.

Harry was surprised. He fully expected the 'why are you doing this?' question.

Harry thought for a moment. "I guess it kinda started with Umbridge." He said, chuckling darkly.

Remus was confused but kept his face neutral, listening.

"The quill hurt. I hated it. I quickly realized, though, that the pain gave me something else to think about. I didn't have to sit with my anger and hurt and think about Voldemort or C-Cedric." Harry admitted, crying again when mentioning Cedric.

He took a few breaths and calmed down thanks to his Uncle's reassuring hand rubbing his shoulder.

"I still hate the quill, don't get me wrong, but when I realized what the pain did, I decided I wanted to take control. I'm not in control of anything!" Harry raised his voice at the end. He took another deep breath and continued. "I wanted to distract myself on my terms, my way. I got to decide when and how. It felt right, too. Like I deserve it."

Remus nodded, understanding where the boy was coming from about distracting himself but stopped when he started talking about when he said he deserved it.

"Harry, we've talked about this before and I will always say the same thing. Cedric's death is not your fault. The person to blame for Cedric's death is Voldemort. Not you. You wanted to do something nice for him. I know this doesn't change how you feel, but I need you to know this." Remus said seriously.

Harry shrugged, hearing it before.

Remus sighed, knowing that was another topic that he would have to revisit.

"Now, this is a question I have to ask and I know it's not something you want to answer," Remus admitted. "What did you use?"

Harry paled. Uncle Moony was right, he did not want to answer that.

Harry shook his head.

"Harry, please," Lupin pleaded.

Harry bit his tongue, tasting blood eventually, thinking about the question. He eventually knew he had to answer. There was no way around it.

"Different things." He admitted, mumbling. "Potions knives, a razor." He said, purposely leaving one out.

"Your wand?" Remus asked knowingly, raising an eyebrow.

Harry flushed, not answering.

"Harry, I'm not mad or disappointed. I just want to help." Remus reminded him.

Harry gave a small nod in acknowledgment to what Remus had just said but kept his face shut down.

Remus sighed, suspecting this would happen. He pushed the chocolate closer to Harry. When he didn't grab it, Remus broke off a piece and held it out to him. "If you don't eat this I will feed it to you." He said, dead serious.

Harry rolled his eyes but knew it was true. He grabbed the chocolate out of his uncle's hand and chewed on it slowly.

"Did you harm yourself anywhere else?" Remus asked.

Harry shook his head.

Remus nodded, believing him. Harry hadn't walked with any limp and anytime Remus has seen him he has only been guarded about his arms and hands, not his legs.

"You're not alone, Harry. Dadfoot and I will be here every step of the way." Remus assured the boy next to him.

"But that's just it! I don't want you next to me. Or Dadfoot. Or anyone! I don't want this to be a whole thing. This was mine. My choices! My thing! My, my coping mecha-whatever you said! It's private! It's mine!"

Remus was so glad he was the one to hear this and not Sirius. He knew exactly what Harry meant by this. Sirius would take this personal and Remus would too, if he didn't have training and know what Harry was feeling like.

"I get it, I do." Remus agreed quietly. "But I cannot let you keep hurting yourself. And it's not going to go away overnight, either. No one can or should deal with this on their own. You need help, Harry. It's okay."

"But I don't want help! You don't get it!" Harry insisted becoming more flustered. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw a desk rocking back and forth from Harry's magic.

"Hey, hey," Remus said softly, causing Harry to turn his head to look in the direction of Remus, even though he wasn't meeting his eye.

"I do get it," Remus said, rolling up his sleeve.

Harry has seen Remus' arms before, but this time he knew what he was looking for.

Remus traced his finger along some scars, showing Harry where they were.

"I harmed myself, too." Remus said, purposely avoiding the 'c-u-t' word. I did it first year and second year. I did it again fifth and sixth years. Sirius is the one who found out. He and James were wonderful. They helped me through it and accepted me. The second time, when I relapsed, we had had the incident with Severus at the Whomping Willow. Sirius knew what I had started again, somehow, but he also knew that I wasn't speaking to him at the time. He gave me a new chocolate bar every week. He would silently check my arms before I could pull them away. He hid the razors and sent James or even Lily when he knew I needed someone with me. I eventually stopped, again, thanks to the help I received. So yeah, I know how you're feeling right now. I know why you wanted the pain to distract you. I understand. I also know that Sirius knows how to help because he's helped me countless times. I also know that your parents would be proud of you because they were proud of me. They weren't ever disappointed in me. They just loved me unconditionally through it."

Remus' eyes were glossy and he was staring at the wall over Harry's shoulder. Harry broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to his uncle, sensing he needed it.

Remus smelled the chocolate and caught himself disassociating. He smiled at Harry and grabbed the chocolate, savoring the flavor.

Remus felt his mood lift as he ate the chocolate. He took a breath and looked at his nephew and godson. "I get it. I understand. I know you want to keep it to yourself, but it won't stop, Harry, without help. I know you feel vulnerable and that is okay. I did and so many others did and still do. You're not alone." Remus said, reassuring Harry.

Harry shrugged. He was touched at his words, but couldn't bring himself to feel even remotely alright about his new situation.

Remus was quiet, thinking about how to reassure Harry.

"Harry," Remus began, "I know you feel uncomfortable with all this and exposed. I know it's the worst. I also know how it feels. I have to and want to, help you. I've been on both sides. I want to make a deal with you."

Harry looked up, biting his lip.

"I'll make the deal, and I don't ever do this, I'm doing this since you're my cub" Remus warned, "I'll make the deal that you let me help you, but I won't make you do anything I wouldn't have done."

Harry thought for a moment. "But what if I say no?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Remus could tell Harry was curious and wasn't testing him so he just calmly explained, "That deal is for my cub, and my cub only. I don't ever humiliate or try to expose my patients in any way, but I don't make that promise or reveal what I just did to you with that many details. If you don't accept it, then you're stuck with Healer/ Professor Lupin. He's kind and understanding, but Uncle Moony is much more so."

"Okay, I'll take the deal," Harry said, not having to think about it. He wanted to save as much privacy as he could and this deal seemed like the way to go.

Remus smiled at him, "Good because Healer/ Professor Lupin can't do this, but Uncle Moony can." He said, pulling Harry closer to him into a hug. They stayed there for several minutes before Remus transformed into a wolf.

Sirius and Remus found out later on that despite Remus being a werewolf, he could still have an animagus form and the wolfsbane helped the process, considering Remus wasn't a slave to Moony's mind anymore. Not shockingly, Remus' form is a wolf.

Wolf Remus, who is still called Moony because of-course-he-is, turned onto Harry and licked his face, red and tear-stained.

Harry laughed, half-heartedly pushing the wolf away. He didn't really fight it though, because he was taken aback by his own laughter. He hadn't heard that in months, and neither had Remus, which only encouraged Moony to lick faster and all over, savoring the sound of Harry's laughter.

Eventually, Moony had settled on Harry's lap and Harry was petting Moony. He wasn't as soft as Padfoot and he was much larger, but he was his Uncle Moony. Harry stayed petting Moony, but the poor child was exhausted. He didn't pet Moony for longer than 20 minutes before falling asleep.

Moony noticed the difference in Harry's breathing, but stayed there for a while, making sure he was asleep. Eventually, he slowly and carefully moved off of Harry before transforming back to himself with a pop. He made sure he hadn't woken up the sleeping teenager before looking around the room, sighing.

Harry's magic had sure done a number on this room. Remus waved his wand and things were repaired and silently put back to where they once were. He then looked at Harry again. He could easily cast a featherlight charm on Harry or levitate him back to the Marauder Quarters, but he didn't do that. He picked up the much-too-light child and disillusioned them, just in case they went by anyone and made their way back to their quarters.

Remus could only think about his cub and how much he loved him. He hoped he could help show him his love and value. He needed to.