Good morning, Smár Einn!
Thank you to Mel and Jill!
.: Þrír Tigir ok Fimm :.
The next several days fly by. We are busy with endless preparations. The family's intent is to not return from this voyage, which means carefully selecting everything we will need to start a new farmstead.
Men from the village come to help Egil move heavier items that we are not taking with us. The items are apparently being sold to other members of the village. When they come, Tove and I stay clear of them. I don't know if it's out of a desire to give them space or to avoid another incident like we faced in the village. I haven't had the nerve to ask yet.
On the morning of our voyage, we are up well before the dawn, gathering every last-minute thing we can.
Tove has Halvard strapped to her body in a thick cloth while I gather up the bedroll furs. When we are certain we are ready, the family departs the farmstead for the last time.
It's a little bittersweet to leave it behind. I did not call it home for long, but that doesn't mean fond memories hadn't been created there. The little farm is a part of my journey now, and I will always hold it in my heart.
The village is busy this morning, and I'm surprised by the level of activity near the shore. It seems we are not the only family to be departing today.
I look for Edvard, or any of his family, but I cannot find them amongst the crowd. There is still too much to do before we leave, so rather than waste time looking for him, I set to work.
The ship is loaded with provisions for the family, as well as livestock and a few supplies we will need to begin a new farmstead. We will have a place to stay with Egil's brother when we land, but I know he intends to set immediately to work.
The ship is long and narrow, and above all, unbelievably shallow, and does not seem nearly big enough to sail the ocean in. I stare at it, my mouth dry, wondering how we will get anywhere. There hardly seems to be space on it for rowers, let alone anyone else. And there must be rowers, for there is only one mast for the entire ship. I don't know anything about sailing, but reason tells me a single sail cannot be enough, can it?
I am queasy thinking of having to cross any body of water in this ship.
"Bella!" Tove calls, motioning me after her. I take a step on the rocky shore, my eyes traveling back to the ship. If I wasn't certain before, I am now. Though they may not call themselves as such, the people I've somehow come to live with are Vikings. The ship is iconic enough to recognize even in my very limited knowledge. Though I have still not seen anyone wearing a horned helmet, I'm certain of my analysis.
I move to Tove's side, forcing myself to focus on helping her carry bedrolls up onto the ship. Most of the furs from the bedrolls we are wearing around ourselves for warmth, but the rest will be put together with a small pile of provisions the family is bringing. To my dismay, there is no hull underneath, and we are forced to tuck our items under bench seats near the middle of the ship. This is also apparently where we will sleep.
I've never been on the open sea before, and I'm even more nervous now at the prospect.
The work helps to focus my mind though, and soon, my anxieties are driven back to the furthest points of my consciousness. There is much to be done as we prepare to set sail.
When our things are stored, we disembark, heading back to the shore to grab the last load.
Before we reach it, a hush falls over the crowd, and Tove and I stop to look up.
Just out of my line of sight is a tall man with a thick brown beard lightly peppered with white stripes. He is more decorated in gold than anyone else, and the furs on his body look as if they are for clothing and not multi-use like the ones we have.
I'm about to ask who he is when he begins speaking. His voice is deep and carries over the crowd easily, reaching us near the back.
"Today is a great day," he shouts out. "Today our brothers and sisters set a course for a new world."
He lifts his hands as the crowd lets out a loud cheer. I turn to Tove to speak, but then stop when I see Rúna coming toward us.
"Rúna," I breathe, moving around Tove to take the other woman into a tight embrace. Rúna squeezes me in return. On her back, Little Hugi is strapped in and lets out a happy gurgle when my hands brush against him.
"Bella, it is so good to see you," she says, pulling away slightly and holding my face in her hands. "How are you?"
I smile at her, even though I could cry with how happy I am to see her again. "I'm well," I tell her honestly and she nods.
She and Tove exchange hugs before I'm able to ask them who it is addressing the crowd.
"That is our chieftain," Rúna explains. "He has given all of us permission to leave."
I'm surprised by that. I didn't think about needing permission.
"When did the families ask for permission?" I ask her.
Rúna looks at me. "Some time back. Eðvarð had to pay a great deal for our family to leave. Eydís is very skilled, and we have three strong men that will no longer sail the raids with the village."
I stare at her.
The more I learn, the more the last few months of my life make sense. When I showed up, I knew nothing, couldn't speak, could barely function in this world. Eydís had been angry when I arrived because I'd been another mouth to feed, another expense that she hadn't accounted for when they were already working hard to buy their way out of this place. How had Edvard managed it? How had he been able to buy their freedom while still giving me mine?
The more I learn about him, the more enamored I am with him.
I look around the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of him now, but he is nowhere in sight. It's irrational to want to seek him out right now; I know he's busy and there is much to be done, but I want to see his face, to thank him yet again now that I know the sacrifices he's made for me.
The chieftain is still talking, but I can't focus on his words. I'm too distracted by all that I've learned and all that is coming up. What if Edvard does marry me? What could I possibly give to him in return for all that he's given me already?
This type of inadequacy is a new feeling for me, one that should I let myself, I feel I could sink into without hope of being pulled out. Edvard is a great man, and I am still barely a woman with nothing much to my name and only rudimentary skills of survival. How can I ever be good enough for him?
I don't have much time to sink into the spiral of panic that is beginning to fester in me as Sigurð and Eydís both appear. Erik, Foli, and Katla are with them, and the sight of the children helps bring me out of my own mind.
"Bella!" Katla says, rushing forward to hug me. I drop to the rocky beach, taking the child into my arms. She smells of berries and honey, and I squeeze her tightly to my chest.
"Sweet Katla," I murmur, cradling her in my arms. Foli is less obvious with his affections, but he offers me a bright smile nonetheless. I stand, bringing Katla with me in my arms. She clings to the fur around my shoulders as her head tucks against me.
"We are ready," Eydís says, offering me a quick smile before she focuses on the group. The chieftain has wrapped up his speech, and together, the group heads toward the longship.
My heart thumps painfully when I see Edvard onboard, helping the women and children onto the ship. When I step up, he offers me his hand. I release one hand from around Katla, balancing her on my hip as I reach for his outstretched palm. His touch sends chills through me as he gently hoists us up onto the ship.
I stumble into his chest slightly, off balance by the child in my arms, and he reaches to steady me. Nothing about his touches are inappropriate, but I cannot breathe simply by his proximity. "Smár Einn," he whispers, causing me to let out a tight breath.
"Thank you," I whisper back to him. He nods and lets go of me, turning to the next passenger. I take Katla back into both arms, holding onto her tightly as I move to the seats that Tove and Rúna are settling into.
The ship is crowded with people and animals, and around us, there are at least thirty men sitting to row. I have no idea how long to expect this voyage, and though I'm still incredibly nervous, the spirit of adventure is quickly settling over everyone.
No matter where we are going or why we are going, I know I'll never be alone again. I belong to something now, something greater than myself. It's never been something I felt I've had before, and I know that no matter what is next, there are people around me who love me.
The thought bolsters me and gives me courage to face whatever is coming.