2 July 1990
"Moony," Sirius called softly. "You should eat something."
"No."
"Please, Remus." Sirius' tone had shifted to pleading. It was a tone Remus had become all too familiar with over the last six months. "You need to eat."
Remus turned over in his bed. He was aware he'd become thinner, but his constant habit of wearing too-big cardigans hid his gaunt frame. He hardly recognized himself in a mirror. Not that his appearance mattered anymore, he thought.
He didn't have a job that took him outside Grimmauld Place – not that anyone would hire a werewolf, even if he was taking Wolfsbane Potion faithfully, full moon after full moon. Instead he was earning modest royalties from books he'd co-authored or edited for Newt Scamander.
He didn't pay rent at Grimmauld Place – Nymphadora had made it clear neither he nor Sirius were to pay her a knut for their living arrangements a year earlier. He had offered gold to her parents, but they had refused. The royalties were more than enough to put food on the table, but even the food appeared without his doing.
Only the constant, never-ending beating of his heart or the steady way his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths let him know he was still alive. It did nothing for his appetite or an urge to eat. Everything tasted like ash in his mouth.
All he considered pleasurable or enjoyable in the past was now pointless. The joys of his past – reading, spending time with Sirius, Harry, and the Tonkses – it was utterly futile. Life had lost its meaning and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring the meaning back into it. After a few months of relentless ennui and feeling like a soulless husk, he stopped trying.
Remus shifted his efforts to merely surviving to see the next day, although survival seemed worthless too.
"Moony? Please eat something."
Remus shifted his head up to find Sirius in the threshold, holding a plate of toast in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.
"I'm going to set this here," Sirius said quietly. "Please consider eating."
The door closed behind Sirius, and Remus closed his eyes again to drift off into an uneasy slumber.
….
15 July 1990
"Tonks?" Tristan's voice carried from down the corridor. She was just waking that Sunday morning, hoping to spend the day exploring more of Bristol with Tristan, where they'd been living for almost two weeks.
"Huh?" Tonks asked sleepily. "Where's the fire?"
Tristan broke into laughter. "There's no fire, but your mum's here to see you."
Tonks scowled at him, and he put his hands up, as if in surrender. "She says it's important and you're not answering her letters. Can you come see her?"
"Fine, tell her I'll be right out," Tonks said, waving her hand to dismiss him. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and yawned as she stood to find clothes from her wardrobe. She dressed lazily, choosing only to morph a few of her features to look a little brighter before seeing her mother. With a final sigh, she stepped out of the bedroom she shared with Tristan.
"—term begins in the first week of September," Tristan said excitedly. Tonks smiled, glad that Tristan was so excited to begin at the Muggle university in Bristol.
"Nymphadora," Andromeda said, clearly relieved to see her. "How are you?"
"Great, actually," Tonks replied. "Tristan and I are having loads of fun here. When we're not here we're at the Wallaces' to help Edith and Avi with their wedding."
Andromeda pursed her lips tightly before speaking. "Do either of you have plans on Sunday, the 29th?"
"We don't," Tristan said quickly. Tonks glared at him, but he kept his gaze steady on Andromeda. "No plans at all that day."
"Good." Andromeda smiled wanly. "Your brother's birthday party is on the 29th. We would really like it if you came to see him."
"We'll go," Tristan said instantly. "When is it?"
"2 o'clock. You don't need to stay for long, as we know you're busy," Andromeda elaborated. "Harry will be so pleased you're coming."
"Is that all, then?" Tonks said irritably. She looked down to the floor before realizing that Harry's birthday likely included others beyond her immediate family. "Wait."
"Is everyone going to be at Harry's party?" Tonks asked slowly. "Or just us?"
"Everyone who you'd expect will be there," Andromeda said impatiently. "I don't expect you to talk to everyone, and they don't expect it either. Just come for Harry."
"Okay, fine," Tonks muttered. "I'm only doing this for Harry."
"We'll see you in a fortnight," Andromeda said briefly. "Thank you, Tristan, for your help."
Tristan was gobsmacked by Andromeda's admission, and neither he nor Tonks said anything as Andromeda went through the Floo to the Tonks home in East Sussex.
"Why did you do that?" Tonks asked angrily. "I don't want to see them!"
"It's not for them, it's for Harry," Tristan mumbled. "He's your little brother and he loves you. You ought to be there, if only for him."
"We're only staying for an hour," Tonks decided. "We wish him a happy birthday and leave."
"All right." Tristan kissed her forehead and gazed at her pensively. "What did you mean by 'everyone'?"
"Sirius and Remus. They like to put their noses into my life when they shouldn't. I'm not a little kid anymore and they still treat me like one."
"Is that why you've been angry at them for a year?" Tristan asked. Tonks winced and nodded.
"I figured as much. We can avoid them," he said, as he mustered a smile. "I don't fancy getting interrogated a second time, anyway."
"So help me Merlin, if they try," Tonks growled. Tristan chuckled quietly and pressed another kiss to her forehead. They sat, side by side, for a few more moments and began getting ready for their day exploring Bristol.
….
24 July 1990
"Tristan! They're here! They're here!" Tonks shouted. "Our results! They're here!"
Tristan looked up from one of his Muggle textbooks to see Tonks jumping up and down in place, with two thick letters in her hands.
"See? They're here!" Tonks rushed to Tristan's side and shoved his letter in his face. "Open them together?"
"Five Galleons says you did better than I did," Tristan said cheerfully, as he tore open the parchment.
"You're on." Tonks ripped open her parchment to read.
NASTILY EXHAUSTING WIZARDING TEST RESULTS
Pass Grades:
Outstanding (O)
Exceeds Expectations (E)
Acceptable (A)
Fail Grades:
Poor (P)
Dreadful (D)
Troll (T)
NYMPHADORA ANDROMEDA TONKS HAS ACHIEVED:
Ancient Runes: A
Astronomy: O
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Charms: O
Defense Against the Dark Arts: O
Divination: A
Herbology: O
History of Magic: E
Potions: O
Transfiguration: O
Tonks' heart soared as she saw the marks. She had achieved ten N.E.W.T.s, twice as many as she needed to be considered for the Auror training program. Of the ten, only two were below 'Exceeds Expectations,' and neither Ancient Runes nor Divination were crucial for Aurors.
"It's a good thing I'm going to be a doctor," Tristan said, snorting. He showed Tonks his marks; he had achieved nine N.E.W.T.s, but six of them had been marked 'Acceptable.' For most other students, the marks would be exemplary, but for Tristan, they were disappointing.
"I bet Edith would've killed to get these marks," Tonks said, trying to keep her voice even to hide her own excitement.
"Tonks, you're practically vibrating," Tristan chortled. "I'm not upset at all if you did better than I did."
Tonks beamed and shoved her parchment under his nose. His eyes grew wide, and he set the parchment down slowly, a huge grin forming on his face as he did so.
"I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!"
He pulled Tonks in for a kiss, and as they pulled away, they heard a rapping at the window from a handsome tawny owl.
"I wonder whose owl that is?" Tonks asked. She opened the window and the owl swooped in with a letter attached to its leg.
"It's on Ministry parchment," Tonks said, astonished. "It's addressed to me!"
"Well, open it," Tristan said encouragingly. She tore the parchment open to find a short letter on Ministry letterhead.
Miss Tonks,
Albus sent me your results first thing this morning. Your interview is scheduled for Friday, the 3 rd of August, 1990 at 8 A.M.
Don't be late.
Alastor Moody
Tonks stared at the short letter, slack-jawed and delighted with what Dumbledore and Moody had arranged for her. Tristan put his arms around her waist, looking over her shoulder to read the short letter.
"Wow, the Alastor Moody invited you directly?" Tristan said in awe. "You're going to the interview, right?"
"Of course I am!" Tonks turned around and hugged Tristan tightly. Everything was finally falling into place for her future, and she couldn't be happier if she tried.
….
29 July 1990
"Why is there no one here?" Tonks asked, looking at her mother in confusion. "It's the 29th at 2 PM?"
"It's almost 3 PM," Andromeda said. "I knew you wouldn't arrive on time, so I gave you the wrong time. The party starts in a few minutes. I needed to speak with you before the others arrive."
Tonks glared at her mother, but Andromeda was firm.
Andromeda took a steadying breath. "Remus and Sirius will be coming around 4 PM. If they happen to come before, or you stay longer than I expect you to, I need you to be aware of something."
"Okay?" Tonks asked sullenly. "What?"
"Remus may look a little different than you remember him," Andromeda said carefully. "You may not recognize him."
"Why wouldn't I—" Tonks' speech was cut off as the fire in the Floo lit up emerald and a thin, ragged figure emerged from it.
Tonks couldn't stop the horrified gasp that escaped her mouth.
The Remus Lupin who arrived from the Floo was not the Remus Lupin she remembered. In the place of the slightly worn, kindly werewolf she'd come to know, there was only a shadow of the man she knew.
Though he was clean-shaven and his hair was obviously recently cut, the rest of his face betrayed his state. His eyes were bloodshot, and the dark circles under them made him look as if he'd been given two black eyes. His cheeks were sunken in; his face was pallid and his skin was taut against his pronounced cheekbones.
Andromeda walked past Tonks to greet Remus. He glanced up at where Tonks stood, and her heart skipped a beat when his eyes flashed gold momentarily before looking back at Andromeda and murmuring something in her ear. Without another glance, he stepped back into the Floo, and wasn't seen again.
….
29 July 1990
"What happened?" Sirius asked gently. Remus was in the fetal position on the floor of the library at Grimmauld Place, his breathing ragged and unsteady.
"She – was – there," Remus gasped. "I…I couldn't."
"I thought, if I sent you early, you wouldn't have to…" Sirius' voice trailed off as Remus let a dry sob escape from his throat.
"Kreacher!" Sirius called. With a soft pop, Kreacher Apparated before them and bowed stiffly at each of them.
"Master Sirius calls for Kreacher?" the elf said, his croaky voice dripping with disdain.
"Keep an eye on Remus. Don't let him hurt himself. I'll be back in a few." Sirius stepped through the Floo, calling out the Tonkses' home, leaving Remus alone with Kreacher.
The wizened house elf wheezed irritably and sat across from Remus, watching him attentively. Remus closed his eyes in an attempt to collect his scattered thoughts.
He had argued with Sirius that morning. Sirius insisted he attend Harry's tenth birthday party, but Remus wanted to refuse. Nymphadora wouldn't want to see him; she said they could be friendly, but not friends. With how badly he wanted to see her, he didn't trust himself not to overwhelm her. It was better, he thought, to stay away from anywhere she would be, to keep her wishes intact.
Sirius had shouted at him for staying away from Harry and the Tonkses, and for wallowing in his own self-pity for months. Remus had shouted in return, but none of his reasons were sufficient to stay away from the closest thing he had to a family.
Remus reluctantly agreed to go to the party, and on Sirius' recommendation, had shaved and cut his hair. There was little else he could do for his haggard appearance, and had gone through the Floo to the Tonkses' for Harry's birthday an hour early, so as to avoid Nymphadora.
His plans fell through when hers was the first face he saw.
The look of abject horror on her face had been enough to confirm his fears. Even if Nymphadora had wanted to be friendly, rather than friends, her horrified expression at his sudden appearance led him to believe she did not want Remus anywhere near her.
Despite her revulsion at his presence, the moment he laid his eyes on her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her how much he missed her. He missed her letters, her friendship, her cheerfulness, and her kindness. If it hadn't been for Andromeda coming to greet him, he was certain he would've made a fool of himself in front of Nymphadora.
Andromeda had startled him out of his thoughts, leading him to tell her he had to go. He couldn't be around Nymphadora. She didn't want his friendship, and he went away, feeling lonelier and more broken than before.
….
1 August 1990
Tonks was tidying the flat she shared with Tristan. He was at a lecture for something called biochemistry at a university in London, in order to get ahead on his studies. He always cleaned the flat, and for the first time that summer, she decided to try her hand at household spells.
Her first attempt, to her dismay, had resulted in a flurry of paperwork strewn across the flat. She was now picking the paper up by hand, no longer trusting her ability to perform simple household charms.
There was one paper in particular that caught her attention. The letterhead listed 'McGill University,' which Tonks remembered as the university in Canada that had put Tristan on the waitlist.
She furrowed her brow as she read through the letter, which was dated 16th July.
According to the letter, Tristan had been offered acceptance two weeks before at McGill University. She recalled his words several months before, when she asked what he'd have done, if he'd been accepted there…"I'd be an idiot not to. It's the best of all the universities I applied to."
Why hadn't he told her about the acceptance?
Why hadn't he said anything?
The letter indicated he needed to reply by that very day – the first of August – to confirm his acceptance of his place. She sat on the floor of their flat, confused at why he'd kept this from her.
Minutes later, the Floo's flames turned a brilliant emerald, indicating Tristan was on his way home. He stepped through, an amused expression on his face upon seeing the flat's floors covered in sheets of paper. With a flick of his wand, all of them returned to neat, organized piles.
"What are you doing on the floor?" he asked, a wry grin on his face.
"What is this?" Tonks asked, holding up the McGill letter. "You were accepted?"
Tristan blanched, and looked down at the floor, shuffling his feet.
"Why didn't you tell me? This is good news," Tonks said. "This is amazing news….Tristan, you have to accept!"
"No, I can't," Tristan said sadly. "I…can't afford it."
"I'll pay," Tonks said instantly. "I don't care how much it is. You said so yourself. You'd 'be an idiot not to go.'"
"It's not just about the money." Tristan bent down and sat on the floor across from Tonks, holding her hand in his own. "I love you. We love each other. If I went to McGill…Tonks, that's at least three years of a long distance relationship."
Tonks' heart clenched. She hadn't given any thought to their relationship in her offer to pay for his tuition, or his studies in Canada, thousands of miles away.
"I'm happy here with you. With us." Tristan held both her hands in his own now, taking the letter out from her left hand. "This is where I want to be."
"Tristan, this is…it's your dream. I don't want to get in the way of your dream," Tonks said shakily. "You deserve the best."
"This is the best," Tristan said softly. "You and I. We're the best."
"What if we tried long distance?" Tonks offered. "I'll pay for all the international Portkeys. You'll be home for holidays. I'll visit when I get days off. We can…we can make it work. We're a witch and wizard. Why couldn't we make it work?"
Tristan sighed and ran his thumbs over the back of her hands. "I can't make you pay for all of this."
"It's your dream. You've done nothing but support me in all my studies. We both deserve our dreams. Please, Tristan. We can make it work," Tonks said pleadingly.
Tristan bit his bottom lip and squeezed her hands. "Okay. Let's try it. I'll need to make a Muggle call to let them know I'm coming." He smiled weakly, but Tonks saw the beginning of the sparkle in his eyes.
"Be proud of yourself," Tonks said. "I'm so proud of you. You're going to be brilliant there, I just know it!"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. By the time they were done, he was grinning his big, toothy smile, joyful over the turn of events.
….
3 August 1990
Tonks wore her best robes ahead of her morning interview with the Auror department. She sat in the waiting room, her hair dark brown to appear as professional as possible.
"Tonks, Nymphadora?"
She glanced up to see an Auror she recognized as Dawlish calling her name. She followed him into a large, almost-empty room. She had expected a small interviewing office, but the space was empty, save for a single chair in the center.
"Is this-?" Tonks asked, looking back to where Dawlish had been standing. He was no longer there, and she was now alone in the room.
"What on—" No sooner than the words escaped her lips, she was disarmed by someone invisible.
She realized, with some trepidation, that the interview was going to be less talkative than she expected. Without knowing the source of the invisible witch or wizard, she transformed into a badger.
As soon as she was on four paws, she sniffed at the air to find multiple scents in the room. She hadn't been able to see where her wand had gone, and so she dashed as fast as her paws could take her to the first, strongest scent.
Tonks opened her jaw and clamped down on fabric, tugging it away to see a dumbfounded Auror staring back at her. She felt triumphant in the moment, having revealed at least one of the Aurors hiding under an invisibility cloak. She now suspected a few were disillusioned, and so she ran towards the next source of scent a few feet away.
This time, Tonks decided to leap onto the source of the scent, and was delighted to sink her claws into a now-screaming Auror who became disillusioned. It was Dawlish, and she had torn through his robes with ease, leaving them a tattered mess on the floor.
A spell hit her, and she transformed back to a human. Tonks stood still as three more Aurors revealed themselves to her, each bearing a different expression.
A clunking sound alerted her that another Auror had joined them – Moody!
"Onto the next interview, lass," Moody rasped. "Come with me."
Tonks arched her brow at him – she still didn't have her wand.
"I don't have my wand," she said, looking back at the Aurors in the room.
Mad-Eye wheezed loudly. "Go get it, then."
Frowning, Tonks turned around. Five Aurors held their hands behind their backs, standing side-by-side in a row. She ran towards them as a human, but each pushed her away with magic, keeping her stuck to the floor.
Tonks then removed her shoes, attempting to get to the Aurors on socks. She slipped on the floor instantly, falling face-first in front of five laughing Aurors.
Frustrated with their laughter, she transformed back to a badger and ran towards the Aurors, but was pushed back again by an invisible force field. Growling now as a badger, she attempted to claw her way past the barrier to no avail.
She heard wheezing behind her, and looked up to see Moody holding two wands, one of which was her own. She transformed back to a human and ran towards him, but he held her back easily.
"Just because you didn't see a sixth Auror, didn't mean there wasn't a sixth," Moody barked. "Constant vigilance!"
Three more Aurors revealed themselves, and Tonks shook her head. Becoming an Auror would be the next big puzzle to solve and conquer.
….
11 August 1990
"These – stairs – are – killing – me," Tonks gasped. She looked up to see another staircase, distressed to see at least three more staircases before getting to the top of the oratory.
"You said you need to get in better shape for all that training you're doing," Tristan said, while gasping for air and clutching his side. "I'm only here to help."
Tonks grimaced, but continued up the stairs. They were in Montreal that weekend, to visit the city where he'd be attending his new university. Unlike the university in Bristol, Tristan would be living in student dormitories rather than his own flat.
Their first stop had been St. Joseph's Oratory, which supposedly led to a lovely view of the city. Most Muggles took lifts to reach the top, while ambitious ones took the stairs. Tonks and Tristan decided to be ambitious and were making their way up the stairs one by one.
Tonks' legs were burning by the time they reached the top. The view was indeed breathtaking, but Tonks felt slightly sour that she could've reached the top easily if only she'd been allowed to Apparate or fly on a broomstick.
"Do you think you'll like it here?" Tonks asked, after they spent several minutes catching their breath. "Montreal?"
"I hope so. Living in a dormitory again wasn't my first choice, but all the advisors said it was the 'best experience' for first years." Tristan put his elbows up on a ledge, and stared out onto the city. "I only have to live in it for the first two years. I can find roommates afterwards."
"I'll have to get us a hotel room every time I come to visit you, then," Tonks said, smiling coyly. She inhaled deeply and looked back at him.
"How are you going to handle magic while you're here?" Tonks said quietly. "You're surrounded by Muggles."
"The Canadian Ministry of Magic – they call it the Dominion Ministry here – has a good population of witches and wizards who fled here after Grindelwald rose to power," Tristan murmured. "Their headquarters are here, in Montreal. They weren't enthusiastic about a wizard studying at a Muggle uni, and are monitoring my magic with a modified Trace. No magic unless I'm in wizard-only establishments."
"No magic?" Tonks said in shock. "How will you—"
"I'll figure out the Muggle way of doing most things," Tristan said wryly. "If I'm going to be a doctor, I should learn one way or another."
"Well, why don't we go the Muggle way back down the steps and use their lifts?" Tonks suggested. "Then we'll get some of that poutine they won't shut up about." She winked at him, and the two made their way back down the stairs for much-needed sustenance.
….
20 August 1990
Tonks ran her hands through her hair, struggling to find a solution. She had just received her training schedule for the fall for the Auror training program. Between the first week of September and the first week of December, she would be given a single weekend off. All her other days off were staggered; worse yet, some of her assigned workdays were overnight shifts.
With the schedule she'd been given, the earliest she could feasibly visit Tristan wouldn't be until the Christmas holidays, and he would be in Britain by then with his family.
Perhaps Tristan would have a better solution. She wondered if he could visit on his weekends, and she could see him in the evening or early mornings. No, there's a time difference! He'll be knackered if I ask him to come at odd hours.
"What's wrong, Tonks?" Tristan asked, upon seeing her scowling at her schedule.
"Look for yourself," she replied grouchily. "I'm not going to see you till Christmas."
Tristan looked at her schedule and knit his brow together in consternation. He sighed and set it down, looking at her in the eye. His own eyes were flecked with sadness.
"You won't see me till next summer," Tristan said miserably. "I got a job to help pay for my studies."
"I said I'd pay for—" Tonks began.
"—I can't ask you to do that for everything. I got a job at an apothecary in one of the wizarding villages outside Montreal. You need to understand I have to do this."
"No, you don't! I'll pay for it—"
"—Tonks, stop. Just think – what happens if we break up? How am I going to pay for my education then? You can't seriously think we can do this for six years until I'm done with school!"
"I thought it was only three years!" Tonks protested.
"Three years for uni, and three years for medical school," Tristan said curtly. "This is why I didn't want to go to McGill!"
"But it's your dream!" Tonks retorted. "I'd be an arsehole if I made you stay for me!"
"I was never going to stay for just you! I was going to stay for us!" Tristan shouted. "How could I have said no, when you insisted I go?"
"You could've—"
"—Tonks, you don't understand. I love you, I do, but I was fucked either way. If I went, this argument would happen, and if I didn't go, you'd be angry at me for choosing us over my dream." Tristan exclaimed. "Did you ever think that we were part of my dream too?"
"I did – we can make it work! We have to!" Tonks countered. "We'll figure it out!"
"No, we won't," Tristan said briskly. "We were fools for ever thinking we could."
He turned on his heel and stormed into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Tonks looked back at her schedule – what she'd worked for years to achieve – and cried.
….
22 August 1990
"Nymphadora! This is a surprise!" Andromeda did a double take as Tonks walked through the Floo into her childhood home. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"
"I know I've been an arse, but I really need to talk to someone," Tonks mumbled. "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course! Please, come," Andromeda said. "What happened, darling?"
Tonks plonked herself on the sofa next to her mother and curled into her side. It had been years since she'd cuddled up with her mother like this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. It was three days until Edith's wedding, where she and Tristan were going together as dates despite their row and inevitable breakup.
Andromeda stroked Tonks' hair soothingly, and Tonks began talking rapidly, discussing the events of the last few weeks – Tristan's acceptance to McGill, her insistence he attend, and their row a few nights before over the state of their relationship. By the end, she was crying on her mother's shoulder, seeking much-needed comfort.
"What am I going to do, mum?" Tonks cried. "I love him, but…our dreams! We both worked so hard!"
"What are your options?" Andromeda asked gently. "What could you do?"
"One of us has to give up our dreams and be with the other. It was fine until I opened my mouth and told him to go to Canada!"
Andromeda hummed lightly. "If Tristan had been accepted before the summer, would he have attended?"
"He said he couldn't afford it, but now he's paying for it himself somehow. He said he can't live off my gold forever in case we broke up." Tonks sniffled, and her mother conjured several tissues for her.
"If the roles were reversed, what would you think?" Andromeda suggested. "If he offered to pay for everything?"
"I'd feel bad," Tonks admitted quietly. "I would feel like I owed him a lot."
Andromeda said nothing, allowing Tonks to mull over her thoughts.
"Even if he said I never need to pay him back, I'd feel bad. I would feel like I'd have to follow him to Canada, even if my dream was here. Do you think that's how he feels?"
"I don't know," Andromeda replied. "Though I think you've got the right idea."
"We have to let each other go, don't we?" Tonks sniffled again, and blew her nose into one of the conjured tissues. Andromeda vanished each tissue and conjured a new one as Tonks needed them.
"I can't tell you what you should do, but you ought to talk to him to see what he's feeling. He's probably hurting as much as you are right now."
"This is so unfair," Tonks pouted. "I just wanted him to go to the best university. Y'know, the one he wanted most."
"You wanted what's best for him," Andromeda murmured. "That's a sign you care for each other. Sometimes, loving someone means letting them go."
Tonks closed her eyes, pondering her mother's last statement. Sometimes, loving someone means letting them go.
She loved Tristan with everything she had. If letting him go was the way to love him best and give him the chance he deserved…she knew what she would have to do.
...
25 August 1990
"Your sister-in-law, Tabitha, is a sadist," Tonks told Tristan, as they danced together at Edith and Avi's wedding reception. "I look hideous."
"You never look hideous," Tristan said, into her ear. "But even I admit that whatever she did with your eyes is a bit...?"
"Awful. The word you're looking for is awful." Tonks blew a tuft of her currently black hair away from her face. "Tabitha says this is all the rage with Muggles, but I can scarcely think why smearing blue sparkly paste onto my eyelids makes me look any nicer."
Tonks tripped once more into Tristan's chest, leaving behind a smudge of sparkly blue eye shadow on the lapel of his dress robes. He muttered "Scourgify" and the stain was gone instantly.
"I'm going to miss doing magic like this," Tristan said. "I'll have to get creative."
"You're going to be brilliant," Tonks assured. "You're already brilliant."
Tristan smiled and spun her around on the dance floor. It was their last night together before Tristan went away to Canada for his studies, and Tonks was trying to soak up every last memory she could before he left.
"It's hard to think that will never be us," Tristan mumbled, as he pointed his head towards Edith and Avi, who were swaying under the lights, looking at each other with identical, besotted expressions.
"It will be," Tonks said quietly, as Tristan's eyes widened slightly. "Just not with each other." A flicker of sadness flickered in his eyes, and he turned her around once more, away from others.
After too many late night conversations, Tonks and Tristan had decided to part ways after Edith and Avi's wedding. They would break the news to their families and friends when the new Mr. and Mrs. Attel returned from their honeymoon, to keep the spotlight on the newlyweds as long as possible.
Unlike previous breakups Tonks had experienced, the one with Tristan was more heart wrenching than the others had been. Tristan had been kind, generous, and sweet until the very end. They still loved each other, making the breakup that much harder.
Nevertheless, her mother's words kept echoing in the back of her mind. Sometimes, loving someone means you let them go.
Tonks and Tristan had discussed every possible option – either one of them giving up their career aspirations to join the other. They'd concluded that they would grow resentful of the other one day, for stopping the other's dreams.
They considered a long distance relationship for upwards of six years, but that too seemed unsustainable. Tonks had a chaotic schedule for at least three years as an Auror trainee; Tristan's schedule would only become busier once he had more advanced classes and his own training.
They had even considered keeping Tristan in Britain, to re-enroll at the University of Bristol. The enthusiasm he had for McGill had been far too great at that point for Tonks to press the idea. He belonged elsewhere, and so did she.
In the end, it had been a simple decision. They had to let each other go to achieve their dreams. They loved each other too much to hold the other back.
"I'm going to miss you," Tonks whispered. "I love you, Tristan."
"I love you too, Tonks." He gave her one more kiss, and the two parted ways after one last dance together.