1 September 1990
Tonks was at her parents' home in East Sussex that Saturday morning. It had been a week since she and Tristan had ended their relationship, and she found it difficult to live in Bristol alone. They had only shared a flat for the summer, but it now held too many memories of the two of them together. Lonely and confused, she realized she had few others to turn to.
Edith and Avi were now on their honeymoon; Theo was off in Bulgaria with dragons. Charlie and all the younger friends were off to Hogwarts that day, leaving her with precious few listening ears.
She might've been eighteen, going on nineteen, but she didn't quite feel like an adult. Hogwarts had woefully unprepared her for the reality of 'adult' breakups, wherein shared spaces, like flats, were an issue. Tonks envied Edith and Avi; unless something catastrophic occurred, they'd be happily living together for the rest of their lives.
"Hello, darling," Andromeda said warmly, upon seeing Tonks sitting in one of the couches in the living room. "It's so lovely to see you again."
She still felt awkward from having ignored her family for almost nine months, and didn't know what to say. What doesone say after an extended, self-imposed absence? Tonks wondered.
Andromeda sat across from Tonks in an oversized, squashy chair, and cleared her throat. "Harry is at the Burrow with Sirius and Remus. They volunteered to help with Ron and Ginny while Molly and Arthur gathered the older four boys for their train ride today."
"That's nice of them," Tonks said feebly. "Is dad here?"
"He is, if you'd like me to get him."
"I want to give up my flat but I don't know how." Tonks hung her head, feeling like an overgrown child.
"Your father will be more than happy to help you with that," Andromeda said gently. "Where would you like to go?"
"London," Tonks said promptly. "I know I can use the Floo or Apparate to work, but I think I'd like to live somewhere different."
"That can be arranged, I'm sure." Andromeda bit her lip, and looked up into Tonks' eyes. "Would you like to live in Grimmauld Place? I'm sure Remus and Sirius could be convinced to move out, if you'd like your home there."
Tonks shook her head. "I don't want to live there, and I really don't want to live there alone with Kreacher. Sirius and Remus should stay where they are."
Andromeda tucked a stray curl behind her ear, and laced her fingers together in her lap. "If you do move to London, I'm confident Sirius and Remus would be happy to see you."
Tonks whimpered. She felt she had burned one too many bridges in the last year. Her petty, childish treatment of them all filled her with shame and guilt, even if they had lied to her for years about Dora's identity.
"Mum," Tonks said slowly, while recalling the last time she saw Remus, "what was wrong with Remus? He didn't look right at all."
Andromeda grimaced. "He's not well, and it has nothing to do with his lycanthropy. We're all helping him through it as best as we can."
"But what's wrong with him? Is he sick with something?" Tonks pressed.
"I want to tell you the truth, because you deserve it," Andromeda remarked, "but it will be hard for you to hear, and you're not in a frame of mind to be burdened any further."
Upon hearing this, Tonks scowled. She may have felt like a child, but she wasn't anymore.
"Tell me anyway," Tonks said boldly. "I can handle it."
Andromeda took a deep, steadying breath. "Do you remember the letter you wrote to Remus in January?" Tonks nodded in agreement.
"He took the news harder than he or any of us expected. I can't tell you what's going through his mind at the moment, but from what I can know, he's struggling with your decision to cut him out of your life."
"I thought it would be easier," Tonks mumbled. "For both of us."
"It may have been for you. I don't want you to feel guilty for what you did, Nymphadora. You made a decision that felt right for you at the time, and you're not responsible for the way he reacted," Andromeda said evenly. "But you must understand he didn't take it well. He's been doing his utmost to respect your wishes and maintain a distance, but it's taking a toll on him."
"I don't understand." Tonks slumped back in her seat and ran her hands down her face. "Why? I know we wrote each other, but…why?"
"You became an important part of his life," Andromeda said simply. "I daresay you're as important to him as Sirius or Harry are."
"Oh." Tonks felt guiltier now, for avoiding Remus and cutting him out of her life.
"Don't feel guilty." Tonks' forlorn expression must have given her thoughts away to her mother.
"You did the best you could with what you knew at the time," Andromeda continued. "I don't want you to change anything you're doing, unless you want to. I care for Remus, very much, but you're my daughter and your needs will always come first to me."
Tonks closed her eyes and took a few slow, calming breaths. "I still don't think I can be friends with him, but I don't want him to suffer like that anymore."
"You could talk to Sirius if you'd like. He's closer to Remus than anyone else."
"I'll think on it." Tonks still felt foolish around her parents; she dreaded having to re-establish communication between herself and her cousin, Sirius.
"Do what's best for you, Nymphadora. Take your time."
"Mmhmm." Tonks stared blankly at the fireplace, wishing for a moment that she could use the Floo to get to the Burrow and speak with Sirius and Remus immediately.
"You'll figure out the right thing to do," Andromeda assured. "For now, why don't we have some tea and biscuits? I'll get your father and we can discuss your plans to move to London."
Tonks mumbled an agreement, and spent most of the afternoon wondering what to do about Remus.
….
11 September 1990
"Find the antidote. You have one hour."
Robards levitated six different poisons to the six Auror trainees in the room. Tonks was the youngest among them, the only one in her year at Hogwarts to have earned a position in the Auror training program.
Robards left the training room, and Tonks stared at the vial of poison she'd been given, at a loss for words. It was not labelled. There were no ingredients listed. No recipe had been given. A vial of purplish liquid now lay in her hand and she had an hour to find the antidote.
Tonks watched as the older Auror trainees began transfiguring ordinary objects into living beings – frogs, mice, or birds – and shoved droppers of poison down the transfigured beings' throats.
A frog now grew to four times its size and had developed fangs on Tonks' left. The Auror trainee, Savage, stunned it, and began taking notes on the frog's behavior.
A mouse to Tonks' right had seized and dropped dead instantly. The Auror trainee, Berrycloth, conjured another mouse and placed a droplet of her poison on the mouse's head, which burned through its skull until it left a bloody, horrific mess on the workbench.
Tonks struggled not to retch at the sights and sounds around her, but she was determined to get through the antidote practical session.
"Here," Savage said, conjuring a gerbil. "Try on this one."
"Thank you," Tonks said gratefully. Her head was buzzing with activity, and she felt stupid for being so far behind.
She took a single droplet of the poison she'd been given, and dropped it in the gerbil's mouth. To her dismay, it began foaming at the mouth and convulsing, until its little body shuddered spectacularly and died.
It's a conjured gerbil. It's not real. Not a real gerbil. Not real, she repeated mentally, as she took notes on the effects of the poison.
The other Auror trainees were already brewing antidotes. Unsure of what her poison was, she began brewing an Antidote to Common Poisons. It was effective for most potions, to the best of her memory, and she hoped that whatever she'd given the conjured gerbil would be sufficient to serve as an antidote.
The end of the hour arrived sooner than Tonks expected, and by now Robards returned looking decidedly displeased with the advancements in the training room.
Robards flicked his wand, and all cauldrons were put under Stasis Charms to keep them as-is.
"Berrycloth and Tonks, Savage and Smith, Egwu and O'Brien. Those are your pairings. Poison and antidote. Choose your own order." Robards crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot impatiently on the floor.
"We'll go first," Savage offered. He nodded at Smith, and the two took their vials of poison and antidotes to the front of the room.
Tonks watched in alarm as Smith took a mouthful of Savage's poison. As Savage's frog had grown in size, so too did Smith. Before his canine teeth became fangs, Savage shoved the antidote down Smith's throat. Moments later, Smith was returned to his previous size and his teeth were perfectly normal in size.
Tonks was now panicked, wondering if her antidote would be enough to save Berrycloth from dying in front of the Auror trainees. She was doubly terrified when she recalled the gruesome way in which Berrycloth's mice had died from their poison. She was not ready to die less than two weeks into her training.
She watched as the other trainees successfully applied antidotes to one another, until it was her turn with Berrycloth. Tonks went first and took a few drops of Berrycloth's poison in her mouth. Immediately, she felt as if her mouth and throat were on fire. She felt a burning that she had previously associated with Fiendfyre. It was total agony until something was shoved into her mouth. The feeling of fire disappeared suddenly.
Tonks gasped, breathing raggedly up at Berrycloth and Robards. Berrycloth was looking triumphant, and Robards was looking bored.
"Tonks, you're last," Robards said dully.
She trembled as she handed the vial of poison to Berrycloth, who took a swig from it apprehensively. Seconds later, she was convulsing on the floor and foaming at the mouth.
Tonks took the vial of her antidote out of her robe pocket but with how much she was trembling, the vial fell to the floor and crashed, spilling it everywhere.
She panicked as Berrycloth continued convulsing. Robards and the other Auror trainees were looking at the scene with some interest, but none were making a move to help Tonks.
"Please, help! That's…that was all I had!" Tonks cried. "She's going to die!"
Robards turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Tonks with the convulsing Berrycloth. No other Auror trainees made a move towards them.
As the seconds passed and Berrycloth began turning purple, Robards returned and dropped something into her mouth.
Moments later, Berrycloth had stopped convulsing and was now wiping away foam from the side of her mouth while coughing violently.
"You've got a long way to go, Tonks," Robards said snidely. "When in doubt, use a bezoar."
The other Auror trainees chortled to themselves, and Tonks flushed, feeling dumber than she had before for forgetting the most basic antidote of them all.
She vowed to do better next time.
….
5 October 1990
"I hope it's all right that I'm here," Tonks said nervously, as she sat down on a bright yellow sofa. "I should've said something."
"It's your house. You're welcome to drop by any time," Sirius said calmly. "I am surprised to see you, though."
"I know I've been a c—"
"—you haven't been anything. We're the ones in the wrong, not you. You had every right to stop talking to us after keeping secrets from you."
"I feel bad…I did something wrong."
"No, you didn't," Sirius said firmly. "Now, what can I do for you? I assume you came here for more than just a social call?"
"How did you…?"
"It's the day after a full moon. Remus is upstairs sleeping and healing, which meant you could come by without seeing him. I reckon you had something you wanted to talk to me about if you were here today." Sirius put his hands on the back of his head and sank back into his place on the couch. He stretched his legs out and waited patiently for Tonks to speak.
"How is he, really?" Tonks gestured upstairs, where she knew Remus' bedroom was located.
"He's seen better days."
"Is…is there anything I should do?" Tonks asked nervously. "I'm not ready to…I don't know…I just want to help."
Sirius summoned a glass and a bottle of firewhisky from a cabinet and poured himself a generous glass full of the amber liquid. He took a few swigs and set the glass down carefully on the side table.
"When Dora and Remus weren't speaking, many years ago, she found a way to become an Animagus and joined us for the full moons," Sirius said steadily. "Though they weren't on speaking terms, Dora joining us at the moons helped considerably. No need for conversation."
Sirius cleared his throat and took another swig of firewhisky. "If you're willing, you can try joining us for the next full moon as a badger. We go down to the cellar. Remus is on Wolfsbane Potion now so he's much calmer than he was when we were at school. He might appreciate seeing you."
Tonks mulled over Sirius' suggestion. "But won't he think I'm Dora? Won't that be worse?"
"I don't think so." Sirius rubbed his temples with his fingers, and tucked his long hair back behind his ears. "Give it a try. Next full moon is—"
"The third of November, your birthday," Tonks finished. "I…I'll think about it."
"Good. Now, why don't you tell me about your Auror training? Killed anyone yet?"
Tonks groaned, but as she was offered an olive branch from Sirius, she took it. She was simply grateful to repair the relationships she'd broken in the last year.
….
25 October 1990
"You wouldn't be able to use the trapdoor, because it leads to the cellar," Proudfoot said flatly, while reading through Tonks' first report for the training session on "The Best Laid Plans." She was supposed to have planned a partnered mission to find a 'prize' in a suspect's home, as if it were a raid. She was given a floorplan and the location of the prize, and left to her own devices for planning the raid.
"The cellar in this home, if you bothered to read the notes," Proudfoot continued, "Contains several barrels of highly explosive Erumpent Potion. If you tried that trapdoor, it would slam into one barrel and you'd be dead."
"Right," Tonks said slowly. "What about this window? There aren't any notes or warnings."
"That window is on the second story," Proudfoot explained. "You try that and you'll land face first in the foyer. May as well walk through the front door and sod the plans altogether."
Tonks furrowed her brow, and looked through the plans once more.
"The chimney? There's literally no other option here," Tonks said irritably. "It's got to be the chimney."
"Wrong again." Proudfoot blinked at her, evidently losing his patience.
Tonks blew her currently turquoise hair out of her eyes. "Fine, can I learn how to get into this house?"
"The front door," he replied simply. "Obviously."
"How do you mean, 'obviously'? You just said—"
"I said you could 'sod all the plans' because you didn't need them at all for this scenario," Proudfoot explained. "Sometimes the only sensible plan is the simplest one."
"But…what?!"
"You've heard of Occam's razor, haven't you?" Proudfoot said, arching his brow at her. She shook her head and waited for the answer. She was nearly two months into Auror training and had let go of the shame of feeling foolish on a near-daily basis.
Despite her "impostor syndrome," as Mad-Eye had so phrased it, she was apparently among the best and brightest trainees the Auror training program had seen in years. Armed with that knowledge, she decided to let her ignorance be what it was and (mostly) patiently wait for the answer.
"Occam's razor, in short, says the simplest solution or the simplest answer is the best one," Proudfoot explained. "Young Aurors want to work harder, not smarter. Simplest solution first."
"This one's next," Proudfoot said, shoving a thick stack of parchment her way. "No floorplans this time. Instead you get descriptions. Simple solution in this one too, if you're clever enough to get it. You have one hour."
With that, Proudfoot stepped out of the training room, leaving Tonks alone to solve another puzzle.
….
3 November 1990
"Happy birthday, Sirius," Tonks said quietly, as she descended the steps to the kitchen just a few minutes after the full moon rose.
"Thanks, Tonks," Sirius replied. "He's downstairs and fully transformed. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"He took Wolfsbane, didn't he?" Tonks said anxiously, and Sirius nodded.
"He's a sleepy wolf at the moment, but he might wake up when he sees you. I didn't tell him you were coming."
Tonks crossed her arms over her chest. "Why not?"
Sirius shrugged. "It's better if it's a surprise."
Tonks bit the inside of her cheek, but decided to trust Sirius. She took a deep breath and asked, "Should I transform now?"
"Go ahead. I'll follow you as a human to cast the Locking and Silencing Charms, and I'll let us out a few minutes before moonset."
Tonks transformed into a badger, and Sirius gestured for her to approach the cellar door. He opened it for her, and she stepped down the rickety cellar stairs one by one on her paws.
She heard the door close behind her, and heard Sirius murmuring the charms to keep the cellar secure. By the time she felt the stone floor against her paws, she was face-to-face with a fully transformed lycanthrope.
A tiny badger squeak emerged from her snout. The last time she'd seen Remus as a werewolf, she was a young child and Dora had saved her from his aggression. Now, she was the badger and Moony was looking down at her with wide eyes.
Moony howled up into the ceiling, hurting Tonks' furry ears. Padfoot barked, and Moony stared back at the black, shaggy dog before returning his gaze to the badger.
Tonks stood still, sitting up on her hind legs, watching Moony. He brought his snout down to hers, and she flinched, afraid.
Moony whined loudly – it was a painful whine, as if she'd hurt him. She held her breath and looked back up at him. He was on his own hind legs now, whimpering lightly from where he sat.
Tonks crawled towards him slowly and reached out with a single paw towards his snout. Like a dog, Moony brought his snout to rest underneath her paw. She felt his cold, wet nose on her paw, in addition to the hot breath emerging from his mouth. He whined again and inched closer to her.
Tonks looked towards Padfoot. He, too, was sitting upright a few feet from where Tonks and Moony were facing each other. Padfoot sat still, watching the scene before him unfold.
Tonks turned back to Moony. He was even closer now, somehow having shifted on his paws to get closer to her. Her badger snout made another frightened squeak. Despite knowing Remus was in there, on Wolfsbane Potion, she had never been in the presence of a fully transformed lycanthrope without fearing for her life.
By now Moony's head was towering over Tonks' badger head. He brought his snout down slowly, letting his wet nose brush against one of her ears, making it tickle. She put a paw on his snout now and patted it lightly. Moony whined again, but this time it was less painful than his previous whine.
Padfoot barked. The werewolf and the badger turned in his direction. Padfoot slapped his paws against the stone floor and then stood, walking towards one end of the cellar. Moony followed, as did Tonks.
Padfoot led them to a pair of mattresses, which were messily covered in blankets. He took one in his jaw and dragged it towards Tonks.
She now had a thick blanket before her, while Moony and Padfoot each took a spot on the mattresses. Tonks was puzzled, wondering if she was meant to be sleeping on the blanket. She lay herself down on the blanket, somewhat afraid of the werewolf nearby. Nevertheless, she was tired after a full week of training, and she fell into a deep slumber.
After some time, Tonks heard noises that startled her awake.
"Tonks," Sirius whispered. "It's almost time."
Tonks was waking, astonished she slept through the night as a badger. Sirius didn't wait for her to reply, and he lifted her, blanket and all, up the stairs until she was dropped unceremoniously onto the floor of the kitchen.
"Ow!" Tonks moaned, as soon as she transformed back to a human. "What'd you do that for?"
"Moony wouldn't want you to see him transform," Sirius muttered. "Werewolves don't transform fully clothed."
Tonks blushed, realizing that if Sirius hadn't woken her and taken her upstairs, she might have woken to a very uncomfortable, startling sight.
"How do you think it went?" Tonks asked. "Did I do anything wrong?"
"Not at all. I'll ask Remus about it later, but you should go now in case he was unhappy with the arrangement," Sirius replied. "I'll write you if he was fine with it in case you want to come at the next moon."
"Okay." Tonks bit her lip and glanced back towards the cellar door. "If it's okay and you think this helps, I'll come back."
Sirius grinned and let out a relieved sigh. "Good. Thank you, Tonks…by the way, enjoy your own birthday tomorrow."
Tonks smiled weakly, reminded she'd be turning nineteen the next day. As she began hearing Remus' cries of agony from his transformation back to a human, she ran upstairs, afraid to hear the rest.
….
21 November 1990
"You checked everywhere?" Tonks asked incredulously, staring at her mentor in the magical eye. "Every spot in the Manor? I thought you knew where it was!"
"All my records indicated that diary was in the library. We conducted three raids in the last four weeks, two of which were unscheduled," Moody barked. "Nowhere to be found."
"Your eye couldn't see it? Can't it – I dunno – see through walls?"
"I'm telling you, lass, it wasn't at Malfoy Manor," Moody said, thumping his walking stick on the floor. "Unless you go looking for it yourself – and believe me, that's on your time, not the Ministry's – I can't help you any further." Moody's face was set and grim, frustrating Tonks endlessly. All of Dora's notes showed the diary had been located in the 70s by Moody himself, despite not knowing how important it was. Tonks felt like slamming her head repeatedly against Mad-Eye's desk in the face of such failure.
"Fine. I'll get it myself if I have to!" Tonks threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. It had been weeks of trying to find the last horcrux before she and Dumbledore destroyed them in the winter.
"As long as you're doing so as a niece of Lucius Malfoy and not as an Auror trainee, be my guest," Moody said, with finality in his tone of voice.
Tonks huffed angrily and stormed out of his office to return to her flat. Minutes later, she was kicking off her boots hastily, each one of them smacking against the walls with loud thuds before they fell to the floor.
Wanting to take her mind off of things, she decided to look through her unread pile of letters. She and Tristan hadn't exchanged letters since September, finding it too hard to try being friends after their breakup. Edith sent the occasional short note, but she rarely talked of anything but Avi or Quidditch. Theo's letters were similar, with him speaking of nothing but Charlie or dragons.
One letter caught her eye, which was written in fine script. She remembered receiving it a few days earlier from a haughty barn owl, which nipped at her briefly before flying off into the sky.
She turned the envelope over and found the Malfoy family crest sealed in wax on the back. Frowning slightly, she opened it to find two folded pieces of parchment.
The first was a letter from Narcissa.
Nymphadora,
Now that you are of age you may receive your own invitation. You are welcome to invite a guest of your choosing, but choose wisely.
Your aunt,
Narcissa Malfoy
Tonks arched a brow at the note, and proceeded to unfold the thicker parchment. She grinned conspiratorially when she saw what it contained. The Malfoys were hosting the first Malfoy Gala in ten years, and she had been invited with a guest. The guest she didn't care for – she would go alone. The opportunity to attend the Malfoys' event was perfect – she would find the diary once and for all to destroy it.
She scribbled a note to her aunt and sent it off with her owl, Crispy. Now, all she needed were dress robes that could easily conceal a diary containing a piece of Voldemort's soul.
….
28 November 1990
Dear Prof. Dumbledore,
I'm trying to get the diary at the end of December. I'm doing my best. Let me know when I should meet you.
Tonks
….
4 December 1990
"Could you do me a favor, Tonks?" Sirius asked, as he rubbed his eyes after waking her just before moonset.
"Sure," she replied sleepily. "What do you need?"
"Can you order Kreacher to make Remus eat more?" Sirius asked carefully. "He won't take the order from me."
Tonks scrunched her nose at him. "Why do I—"
"—please? It will help. Or, if you wouldn't mind, tell Remus yourself to eat more."
"I don't understand." She shifted from one foot to the other uneasily, sensing a difficult conversation ahead.
Sirius sighed and plopped into a kitchen chair. "He doesn't know or understand why you don't want to be friends."
"Didn't I explain that to him?" Tonks asked. "I thought I said it was my doing. It's not his fault."
"You know him – or maybe you don't," Sirius added, as he closed his eyes and opened them slowly. "Consider telling him why, so he knows it's not his fault. He has a tendency to blame himself for everything."
"Does it have to be today?" Tonks said, as she chewed on her lower lip and glanced at the cellar door.
"Take your time. It can be in a letter, if that's easier for you. Any explanation would help…he's been…ah, hopeful that since you're coming for the full moons you might want to be friends again," Sirius said lightly.
Tonks frowned. She was attempting to repair the relationships, but she was nowhere near ready to welcome Remus into her life in any meaningful way.
"If you wouldn't mind explaining what you're feeling…it might help." Sirius scrunched his eyes together, and put his hands on the table to stand up again. "Just think on it."
Their conversation was cut short with Remus' cries from his transformation back to a human. As with the previous full moon, Sirius went downstairs to tend to him while Tonks ran upstairs, still too afraid to see him again.
….
26 December 1990
Remus,
At the last full moon, Sirius told me you might appreciate an explanation as to why I couldn't be your friend anymore. I thought you would understand, but it doesn't look like you did. I am really sorry for not explaining it better but I don't think I had the right words for it at the time.
You know that Dora's memories and feelings sometimes come up in my own heart and mind. A lot of the time, especially with you, I wondered if the way I cared for you, even in friendship, was because of Dora and not because of me. It's hard for me to trust what I feel or remember because I can't tell if it's mine or not. This is why I didn't want to be friends with you anymore, because I was afraid it wasn't a real friendship for you or me. I didn't want that. I still don't.
Sirius mentioned you are hoping I'll be your friend again because I'm coming for the full moon. I am sorry, but I don't think I will be your friend again, not in the way we used to be when we were writing each other all those years. I am trying to be friendlier for my family and it's easier to adjust to it when I am a badger and you are Moony.
I do want to be friendly acquaintances. I want to be able to say more than a few words to you at a time. I want to talk to you sometimes when I see you.
I also want you to take care of yourself. Sirius said you aren't eating very well and I hope that gets better. I don't want anything bad for you, I just don't know I can have a real friendship with you because of the memories and feelings I got from Dora.
I really hope you understand. Do let me know what you want me to do about the full moons. I won't come if you don't want me around.
N.A.T.
….
29 December 1990
Dear Tonks,
I will always welcome you for the full moon.
Yours,
Remus
….
15 January 1991
Tonks steeled herself before going through the Floo. She planned on coming to Grimmauld Place to talk to Remus for a short, polite conversation. She had not told Remus of her plans. Rather, she had informed Sirius to ensure Remus was home that evening so she could see him.
She recalled Occam's razor - the simplest solution is usually the best one. The simplest solution to getting over her anxiety in speaking to Remus was to throw herself in the deep end and talk to him directly. Brutal, she thought, but it was time to get the worst of it out of the way while she was able to do so.
Tonks stepped into the Floo from the Ministry, and called out Grimmauld Place.
Tonks was flustered to see that Sirius was already in the library with Remus. They were playing wizard's chess, and by the look on Remus' face, he was not prepared to see her. A pained expression crossed his gaunt features, and he made to stand up before Sirius held him by the arm, back to the chair.
"Hi," Tonks said shyly. "I wanted to see you both, if that's okay."
"Please, sit," Sirius said, gesturing for Tonks to sit on one of the squashy sofas. She took a seat, her body trembling with anxiety now that she was in the same room as human Remus for the first time in months.
"Remus, I meant what I said in that letter," Tonks blurted. "I want to be friendly. Not…not friends…but friendly."
"I understand," Remus rasped. He kept his eyes on the chess board in front of him, rather than looking up at her.
"I realize now I've probably broken your heart because I don't want to be friends with you, and I am sorry about that," Tonks continued awkwardly. "I didn't mean to."
"It's fine," Remus said, his voice cracking as he replied. "You have every right to decide who you want in your life."
Tonks bit the inside of her cheek, thinking over her next words. "I do want to come over every now and then, just to say hello."
"Okay." Remus' voice was barely more than a whisper, and he still refused to look anywhere but the chess board.
"Err, I hadn't planned on saying anything else," Tonks mumbled. "I had to break the ice somehow, I guess."
"You don't have to say anything else," Sirius said calmly. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"No," Tonks said quickly. "I'm meeting Edith for dinner tonight. Maybe another time, though."
"Let us know when you plan on coming over," Sirius said, blinking rapidly in Remus' direction. She understood, and with a final muttered 'goodbye' she swept back out of Grimmauld Place to see Edith.
….
21 January 1991
"No luck with the diary?" Dumbledore asked, as soon as Tonks stepped into his office from the Floo.
Tonks shook her head. "The raids failed, my plans at the Malfoy Gala were foiled by the world's nosiest grandmother and a full moon, and making social calls to Malfoy Manor at this point would be too suspicious."
"I believe it will turn up in the next few years, and we can destroy it more easily." Dumbledore opened a drawer and pulled out a vial of honey yellow liquid.
"This is basilisk venom. A good, goblin-made dagger dipped in it should destroy the horcrux with ease," Dumbledore said calmly. "I'm not concerned."
"Why can't we do that to the other ones?" Tonks complained. "All that Fiendfyre and we could just stab them?"
"The other horcruxes are also goblin-made, if I'm not mistaken. Best not test one metal against the other. We will use basilisk venom in combination with Fiendfyre for the ones we already have." He then opened the drawer further and pulled out three more vials of basilisk venom.
"Take these four and keep them with you, or keep them in an easily accessible location," Dumbledore explained. "I would like to destroy the horcruxes we have as soon as we're able. When the weather cooperates, we will set fire to Lestrange Manor with the horcruxes in it. Unless, of course, you've changed your mind?"
"I haven't. Lestrange Manor is getting destroyed, one way or another," Tonks vowed. "I'm not telling my parents about it until it's done. I don't want them trying to stop me."
"As you wish. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?" Dumbledore asked gently.
Tonks shook her head. The sooner the horcruxes could be destroyed, the better. As soon as there was a cold, windless night, they would be.