Crazy in spades

JENNIE

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After Lisa leaves, I order room service and finish up my work for the day, sending Jisoo an email with all of my completed tasks. I copy Nayeon in on it too, so she can't accuse me of leaving her out again.

After I've eaten, I leave my tray outside the door and curl up on my bed and watch Jurassic World. I've seen it a number of times, but even with the annoying children, and the physical improbability of Bryce Dallas Howard running in heels to escape death by dinos, can you ever really go wrong with a Chris Pratt movie?

I must drift off before the film ends because when I wake the TV is so loud it hurts my ears. I glance around the room. Lisa hasn't returned. No surprise there, really. I shut off the TV, and drift off again.

I wake from the blinding light streaming in through the hotel door. I roll over and cover my head with the pillow. The door slams shut—yes, slams, because Lisa is that much of an inconsiderate asshole—and I close my eyes and attempt to go back to sleep. I'm almost there, too, when the sounds of giggling, heavy breathing and moaning begin. My eyes snap open, and I glare up at the ceiling. I can't believe she brought a hookup back to our room. Is she serious? Did she just expect that I would lie here and listen like a creeper? Or is she doing it to get a rise out of me?

"Oh, Dee. That feels amazing."

Dee? Oh, my god. There's a strange couple in my room. I sit up and reach for the lamp.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, baby," Dee says, and I freeze because her voice is all too familiar.

The woman giggles. "Why don't we turn on the lights and you can show me?"

"What a great idea, strange lady who's occupying my room in the middle of the night," I say, shooting out of bed and flicking on the switch.

She gasps, Lisa groans, and even I suck in a sharp breath when I'm confronted with the harsh reality of a tanned, well-sculpted ass in my face. Thankfully, it's not Lisa's, it's that girl. Although I could have done without the visual of Lisa lying beneath her while her ass and lacy black thong are exposed.

"Uh-oh," Lisa says, sounding amused. "The fun police are out of bed."

Asshole. "The fun police?" I ask, deciding I might as well have a little fun with it, and putting on my best midwestern accent. "Jasmine, do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"Jasmine?" the woman asks. She shoots Lisa an accusatory glare and slides off her hips, scrambling across the bed to stand.

"She gave you a fake name too, didn't she?" I throw my hands up in the air. "Jasmine Moses Stoltzfus, why do you do this? Why must you test me so? Does our marriage mean nothing to you?"

"Marriage?" the woman asks.

At the same time Lisa says, "No. No. No. No. I'm not—"

"Did you steal from her, too? Did you take her money like the last three women you laid with?" I grab the can of Lysol Lisa bought from the hotel gift shop for me and begin spraying the room. "Lord forgive the sins of my wife. Make her clean again. Bathe her in your good and holy light. Forgive her the sin of fornication with women outside of our marriage bed. Do not cast her out, Lord, but cast out the devil that lives inside her."

The woman looks aghast, and Lisa? There's all-out warfare in her eyes. I know this is going to come back to bite me in the ass, but I could not lie there and listen to her having sex with a skank in the bed beside me. She can hit me with her best shot. I can out-crazy the best of them.

Lisa's late-night visitor gathers her heels and purse, and hightails it out of our room so fast my head spins.

I turn and glare. Lisa folds her arms behind her head. I cross mine over my chest.

"Clever, Pop Tart. Even for you."

"Oh, Dee." I give her a sour smile. "I have crazy in spades."

"I'll bet," she says, sitting up and sliding off the bed.

"You gave her a fake name."

She shrugs, unbuttoning her shirt. "So?"

"So you really are a lowlife."

"It's just easier that way."

"Why? So she can't put you on blast when she discovers you've given her an STD?"

"No, so she can't google the Manoban family fortune and decide that the condom broke."

I frown. "Women do that?"

"Yeah, Pop Tart. Women do that shit all the time."

A little of my anger melts away. I'd known Lisa had a few affairs that had been made public and quickly turned sour, but Chan never explained the full extent of it.

Lisa moves towards me, which in turn causes me to move back.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, now that I'm pussy free, I thought you might show me your grumpy cat. Someone has to take care of this." She grabs her junk, and I can't help it. I glance down at it and swallow hard.

"In your dreams, asshole."

"Oh, but I think it will be in your dreams."

I roll my eyes and take several steps back. I'm cornered, backed against the wall. Literally. My eyes widen. "No need to fret, Pop Tart. I'm not about to take your innocence from you."

"Fuck you."

She leans in, her breath washing over me and causing goose bumps to sweep over my flesh. "Not even if you begged me, sweetheart."

And then she walks away. Tou-freaking-ché.

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