I knew it was about time for the Akatsuki to start acting. This was further proven when I received word of Gaara having his tailed beast removed and almost dying.
Granny Chiyo managed to save his life and kill one of his attackers and I went to wait outside the fire temple for Hidan and Kakuzu.
When they reached the temple they found me sitting in a rocking chair in front of the temple steps while a barrier was set up surrounding the temple.
"Damn it." Kakuzu yelled. "How are we supposed to kill that damn monk if he is in a barrier like that?"
"Why don't we get him to come out by torturing this guy? I have heard that monks are compassionate and would rather sacrifice themselves than to let harm happen to an innocent in front of them." Hidan said calmly.
"Speaking of which, who the hell is this guy and why is he smirking at us?" Kakuzu yelled angrily.
"No idea, lets go ask him." Hidan said before throwing his scythe at me and impaling me in the chest only to have me turn into a tree and absorb the scythe into the tree causing it to disappear.
"Well that is one way to greet a person." I said from behind Hidan before cutting his head off with a sword and holding onto it by the hair before putting it in a bag. I could feel it moving and making noises of angry yelling.
"Hey kid, I don't think you want to get involved in this." Kakuzu said with a slight grin. "Why don't you give me back his head and you go on your way before I decide to kill you."
"Sorry Kakuzu, but you two are in my bingo book and I've come to collect on your bounties. That is also why you are here isn't it?" I asked with a big smile.
"To think you want to make money off of me." Kakuzu said in fake discomfort. "You're a guy after my own heart." He then had one of his masks shoot lightning at me as another shot out fire from another direction.
I dodged his first two attacks and was hit by the third which was a wind blade shot from above. I then had vines attack him from below and watched as he dodged the vines from hitting his main body. The vines had however managed to pierce through one of his masks and destroy it.
Kakuzu staggered a bit only to roll to the side as the vines once again attacked him by bending at the top and striking downwards. I had a new set of vines attack him from behind while he released a shot of fire from one of his masks.
He then spread out his body and allowed my vines to spear through him while he moved in a straight line to me and kicked at me the second he reformed his body in front of me. I blocked his kick with my hands and was lifted into the air from the force. I returned the kick by kicking him in the face and causing him to stagger backwards where another of his masks were speared by my vines.
"Damn kid, if I knew you were so skilled and vicious I wouldn't have been so nice." Kakuzu spat out in anger. "You took two of my hearts and I'll need to replace those. Your wood style seems like a good replacement. I think I'll take it." He then spread out his threads in the form of a cage and turned the ends towards me to spear me like I had been doing to him. The threads speared my body which turned into water and exploded everywhere.
"A water clone huh? You keep pulling out one trick after another brat." Hidan made a sound from the bag on my hip and caused Kakuzu to turn around and stab backwards with his hand holding a kunai while I broke another one of his masks as he turned. He then cut me on my arm and tried to move upwards towards my neck. I moved backwards into a roll and heard him click his tongue.
When I got up from the ground I could see that his arm had multiple kunai stabbing out of it. If I hadn't rolled backwards he would have stabbed me in the head and throat multiple times and all in fatal spots.
"Why so serious?" I asked with a grin. "You're acting like you can't handle a kid like me, what would the other criminals think of you." I mocked him and caused him to turn red with embarrassed anger.
"Screw you, I'll fucking cut you into pieces and stitch you back together only so I can cut you up all over again." Kakuzu yelled at me before forming his threads into 8 arms that ended in hands with kunai sticking out of the finger tips.
I spent a couple minutes dodging around as he swung his arms at me and tried to stab me. He had managed to cut me in multiple spots and I had managed to destroy his last mask by jumping forward and punching it as hard as I could.
I noticed my mistake when the mask broke and my arm went into him. His threads tightened around my arm and I felt countless blades stab into my arm causing me to let out a cry in pain.
"Lets see you try to use jutsu with a hand like that." Kakuzu said with a huge grin as he looked at my arm which I had pulled out of him. My arm had kunai and senbon sticking out of it like someone had felt the need to cover my arms flesh with weaponry.
"I might have lost my arm, but you have lost the fight." I told him causing him to laugh at me.
"From what I can see you are unable to use any jutsu with that arm and your legs are now so cut up and bloody that you are barely standing. I doubt I'm going to lose to someone who is on his last legs. Someone as strong as you is bound to be worth some money, so I'll keep your head and bring you with to get my bounty from my broker later."
I looked down and noticed that he was right. My legs were all cut up and bloody. I hadn't noticed him cutting my legs because of the pain in my arm. "Thanks for letting me know about how badly I was hurt, I might not have noticed until I had already too tried to move." I nodded at him.
"Good for you." He said before gripping a kunai in all of his hands and rushing at me. "Now die."
"You first." I said calmly before snapping my fingers on my good hand.
Kakuzu immediately stopped and I saw him open his eyes wide in disbelief before looking down where a light was starting to grow brighter and brighter as it spread around his body.
"What the hell is this?" He asked before falling to the ground and continuing to stare at me.
"When you attacked my water clone the liquid it was made of wasn't all water, a portion of it was phosphorus. I kept it from dispersing into the water and instead let it get on your strings. Your strings move around your whole body and are constantly rubbing on each other spreading the phosphorus around. I used this to spread the liquid all throughout you so you wouldn't have anywhere to hide your last heart. I then used the moment my hand was inside you to release an explosive tag to make the phosphorus burst into flames which would destroy your body. Phosphorus burns very hot and can even burn through solid steel so there is no way for you to survive. I sacrificed my arm and my legs, but in the end I managed to win."
"Smart kid." Kakuzu said before dying as a bright light exploded from his forehead and eyes. I made sure to take off his akatsuki clothing, but I was unable to save any part of his body since it was completely covered in phosphorus and was now starting to completely burn.
I pulled out Hidan's head and let him watch as he cursed me.
"Don't worry Hidan, you'll be joining him soon enough." I said with a grim smile.
"What's that supposed to mean? He asked in irritation. I can't die even if you cut off my head or pierce my heart. I'm immortal you idiot."
"You might not die from those things, but I wonder if you can regenerate from ashes?" I told him with a grin that had become shark like.
"Um, any chance we can just talk this out, how about I come work for you?" He asked in a bit of a panic.
"Sorry Hidan, you made your decision to be a bad person and follow an idiot, now you'll have to deal with the consequences." I then put his head back in the bag while he let out screams and curses.
I found his body crashing through the forest and cut it into pieces. I made sure to cut off all of his fingers and store them separately from his hands so there was no chance he could perform any jutsu.
I went back to the temple and was thanked by the priests there before going back to the village.
It was interesting getting the bounties for Kakuzu and Hidan. The bounty person didn't believe me when I told them I had defeated them and asked for proof. I of course pulled out Hidan's head which immediately started to curse at me. The bounty person looked like he just crapped himself and went to give me the money in silence. I put Hidan's head back into the bag and sent his body to be researched for a week. After the research was finished I gave Hidan a choice. I could kill him quickly by having his head turned to ashes or I could do it slowly by melting his body down in acid. All he needed to do was answer my questions.
He tried to fight me about it, but when I started dropping his fingers into a jar of acid in front of him and watching them dissolve he decided to choose the faster death.
Ibiki and a number of other ninja were around to watch me interrogate Hidan. Apparently Ibiki had told the rest of them that my interrogation skills were on a level that even he wouldn't be able to reach and that I could get a hardened criminal to tell his deepest and darkest secrets within an hour. I don't know why, but for some reason that irritated me.
After interrogating Hidan I kept my word and incinerated his head which caused the rest of his body to also die.
I had found out from Hidan about Nagato and Konan in Amegakure and how they had killed Hanzo. I also learned of Tobi and the Zetsu's plans to awaken the ten tails to create a world of peace. That made me chuckle a bit. He also told me about Deidara and all of their abilities he had seen. He told me of their plans and where they kept their resources as well as how they got their information.
I left after that and had the information sent out to the ANBU so they could hunt down the Akatsuki spies in Konoha and the land of fire. I also sent a report to the fire lord so he could let the other lords and kages know. I told Jiraya and Tsunade about Nagato and Konan since they had been close to each other.
Jiraya went right away to talk to Nagato and Konan. I had him take a letter from me with him to give to Nagato.
The letter I wrote was simple. I explained that war and conflict was because of differences, it could be a difference in religion, politics, or even as simple as whether cow A was bigger or cow B was. Conflicts like these become wars when violence is involved and escalates due to more people getting involved. While these conflicts can sometimes be avoided they can not be completely stopped and these conflicts themselves allow growth and spikes in creativity in order to solve problems that arise from the war.
To prove that they are right that cow A is bigger the first person creates a feed for that cow that allows the cow to grow larger with more fats and meats that can allow it to feed more people. To prove that cow B is bigger the second person studies how cows live and creates a better living environment and medicines to let the cow grow healthy and strong. These are examples of a good outcome for a conflict.
Conflicts are inevitable and whether they are pointless or worthwhile depends on the outcome and how they are conducted. Don't think that just because you have only experienced bad conflicts that it is all there is and that it can never be good otherwise you are no different from the very people you are trying to fight against.
I knew that this letter might anger him since it calls into question his very beliefs, but at the same time I know that he might be able to understand the essence of what I am trying to tell him. He is smart enough for that.
I decided that while I was waiting for Nagato to reply in one way or another I would hunt down Deidara. Because I had solved the curse mark for Sauske he no longer went to Orochimaru, though Orochimaru's henchmen was seen a few times nearby. I had killed Danzo and the councilors involved with the massacre. This of course meant he had no need to leave since I had already made it so he didn't want to kill Itachi, and he was already ridiculously powerful from me sharing my techniques and training him all the time. He was a monster in his own rights, but he also couldn't summon Manda or use Orochimaru's skills and he wouldn't be there to kill Deidara.
I went out and found one of Orochimaru's henchmen and told them that I wanted to speak to the pedo snake about matters concerning Sauske and that if he didn't show up to speak I would spread word about how eating snakes can increase a persons longevity and libido while making women more beautiful.
I then went and continued with my paperwork for a week until a small snake came into the room and told me that Orochimaru was willing to speak.
"About damn time." I said while standing up and stretching. "I was just about to get people to start hunting down snakes to make shoes and wallets if it was any later."
The little snake looked at me in fear while I motioned for it to show me the way. It quickly left and led me to the forest of death where it brought me to a grove where Orochimaru was standing nearby and his henchmen were standing in the trees watching me.
"That is near enough." He said. "What is it you wanted to say to me?"
"I wanted to make a deal." I told him while leaning against another tree.
"Oh, a deal sounds interesting, but what can I offer you and what can you offer me?" Orochimaru asked with curiosity.
"I can offer a number of things, though I doubt you will like the asking prices."
"Prices can always be negotiated."
"Not these ones, these are very serious issues that will need to be dealt with if you want proper trades. After all I can't just have you running off afterwards and killing everyone you want now can I?"
"We will see." Orochimaru pursed his mouth in irritation. "What is the first deal?"
"The first deal is that I will fix your arms. The price is that you train Sauske as your disciple properly and not try to steal his body or turn him into one of your henchmen."
"That would be fine, I do quite miss being able to feed myself and bathe myself." Orrochimaru said with a grin. "Though will it be alright undoing all the hard work that your predecessor sacrificed himself for? I do believe it will make you quite hated." He chuckled while the henchmen became restless.
"It will be fine since I know you won't be able to pass up the other deals and you won't be able to go back on your words either."
"Hm." Orochimaru hummed while in thought. "What makes you believe that I wouldn't just take this first deal and leave it at that until I'm in a better position to trade in?"
"Because my second deal is to look over all of your research and give you a proper review and corrections. The price is for you to be a proper kage to the sound village you have made and raise its citizens with care."
I saw Orochimaru's eyes widen in shock. "The library." He whispered.
"Why would Orochimaru sama need you to look over his research?" One of the henchmen sneered at me. "Orochimaru sama is the most intelligent and creative mind in the shinobi world and you are trying to give a review on his works. Know your place."
"Shut up." Orochimaru hissed at him. "Alex Senju is able to memorize everything he has ever seen and can call on those memories to cross reference them for information related to any of my research. It would be invaluable, even if the price is a bit high."
"Only high for you." I said with a chuckle.
"What is the next deal?" Orochimaru said with an almost fanatical light in his eyes.
"The third deal is a copy of my personal knowledge on medicine, the third edition. The price is that you don't perform any dangerous experiments on humans anymore."
"What, is this some other thing that sounds useless but is actually amazing?" The mouthy henchman asked one of the others.
Orochimaru answered instead of the other henchman as he stared at me in shock. "The first edition of his medical book was instantly classified as an S rank book and contained all of the knowledge of medicine he had gained from the C rank and below jutsu library of Konoha and what he knew from Tsunade. The second edition was written after he became hokage and contained all of the information on medicine from the village of sand and leaf's combined jutsu libraries as well as what he had learned from Tsunade and Grany Chiyo. It could be considered a god like book by that point. This third edition would contain all of that plus all of the information from over 12 different jutsu libraries. This book would be considered a priceless artifact to the point of being considered a medical holy grail."
Orochimaru was almost drooling by this point.
"I told you that you wouldn't turn down my offers regardless of the price." I chuckled at him.
"Is there any others." He panted out.
"The last deal I have is for a list of all of our items currently being made in Lo's lab. The price is to sign an alliance agreement with my village and yours and to tell me where I can find Deidara."
Orochimaru knelt down in near shock. That list was something that over 50 ninja had died trying to obtain just so they could find out what it was that I was up to.
I had so far released the printing press, multiple types of pens that could channel chakra, numerous new hidden weapons, and even a swiss army knife. Every last one of the inventions had changed a great deal of things and would instantly be bought up as they were produced.
The printing press made information copying easy and made it able to spread faster and farther.
The pens allowed Fuinjutsu and other chakra ink reliant ninjas to have a much easier time creating what they needed without making messes or worrying about mistakes made because they looked away to dip their pen in more ink. They could even store chakra in the pen, though nobody had figured out how yet since the moment it broke open it would automatically release all of the stored chakra and would appear as a normal pen.
The hidden weapons were things like switch blades and wrist worn spring loaded crossbow bolts. It was all just simple things that anybody could use, but were super effective in the hands of a ninja.
The swiss army knife explains itself for why it was popular. Everything was made in Lo's lab and nobody would know what was going to be made next outside of me, Lo, and Lo's assistant. So this offer was beyond tempting for Orochimaru.
"I'll accept all of the deals." He cried out as if in pain. "How do you plan to enforce the exchange?" He asked me with a slight smirk. "Have me followed 24/7, maybe trust in my better side."
"Nah, I'll be using this." I told him while also smirking and showing him a seal written on a piece of paper.
The second Orochimaru saw the seal he instantly turned even paler then he was already and stuttered out. "Soul seal."
"Yep, and not just any soul seal either. This little guy is my own personal version which will cause you to do what you agreed to with or without your consent. It even makes it so that even the intents are aligned at the signing of the deal so that if one side attempts to leave a bit of wiggle room, such as if I said to treat them like family but the person killed their family, it would only follow through with my intent and make it so that they can't just murder them."
I saw Orochimaru's henchmen flinch at the powerful seal and even Orochimaru looked like it was a rough choice.
"This seal won't hinder you or me and will only force us to keep our word. Unless of course you were planning to go back on yours?" I asked with mock innocence which caused him to snort at the play.
"Fine, this is a big ask, but I also know that the information and healing I'll get from you is a once in a lifetime deal that nobody will probably ever get again." He let out a sigh before reaching forward limply with his hand and laying it on mine.
I read out the details of the deal after laying the seal page on top of our hands and activating it with my chakra as Orochimaru did the same with his. After we were done we had a star in a circle with one of the points missing. A point would disappear every time we fulfilled one part of the deal.
I instantly lost two more points by handing over a sealing scroll with both the medical book and the list to Orochimaru who handed it to one of his henchmen.
"If you lose them now it won't effect me since I have done exactly as I promised and have given the medical book and the list of items to you personally. What you do with them is up to you." I told him with a smile.
"Also here, eat this." I said as I shoved a pill in Orochimaru's mouth nearly making him choke.
"What the hell was that?" He sputtered before noticing my fading third point.
"That was the cure for your arms. The reaper took your arms along with Hiruzen's soul. All I did is to have the smaller piece of soul to go back to the larger soul. The pill also contains a soul hiding seal to hide the missing soul from the reaper. The final bit is that it will disconnect your soul from Hiruzen's soul since the deal with the reaper was for him to take his soul for your arms, but because your arms are no longer there the deal becomes null and his soul can return to the afterlife properly."
"Your arms will return back to normal in a day or two, though they will be stiff since you haven't used them in a few years." I smiled at Orochimaru who actually looked touched.
"Thank you." He whispered out.
"No problem, just make sure to keep your end of the deal and become a good person for the future." I told him before turning away and heading back towards the village.
"Let me know when you have all of your research together and I'll come look through it." I waved him off as I walked away.