Uncertain.
That was how the Chief felt as he stepped through the keep where the Arbiter had brought him, and even though he did not yet know much about Sangheili culture, she had explained it enough for him to understand that it was somewhat her personal residence. And speaking of the Arbiter, she was walking by his side as they idly strode around while she occasionally explained whatever they came across to John.
Three days had already passed. From what he had seen so far, the plane outside of the keep was mostly barren aside from a few trees, but the sunrise was one of the most beautiful things he had yet had the opportunity to witness. Especially since he never had the opportunity to appreciate such sights before, and combined with the fact that everything around him was so alien to him only added to the uniqueness.
When he had first taken a glance at the giant keep they were situated in from the outside, he had been mesmerized by its design, much to the apparent amusement of some of the Sangheili who happened to witness the former demon staring at the architecture in awe. And, unbeknownst to him, it was much to the Arbiter's joy, feeling a sense of pride within herself.
However, apart from that, not every Sangheili reacted to the Chief's presence in the same way, and to say that he received more than just a few glances would be an understatement. And yet, there had never been an instance where one of them showed any signs of hostility, some even nodded at their direction in a manner of greeting, and others simply whispered amongst themselves when they passed through.
But unbeknownst to him, it was not simply the fact that his own presence was causing such a scene, it was also the fact that the Arbiter was by his side, seemingly idle as they simply took a walk through the Vadam keep.
"How do you like it thus far?" her voice casually broke the silence between them as they walked through yet another corridor, the sunlight shining in from the outside as the sun slowly but surely descended from the sky, painting the landscape in an orange glow.
"Good." she glanced at him slightly at his sparse choice of words, but she knew him enough by now to see that he still meant it. They came across another pair of Sangheili guards as they rounded a corner, and once they passed them, John could once again hear the slight whispers amongst them even though he didn't turn to look. Albeit he could never understand a single word of what they were talking about since they were using their native tongue.
"Although I'm not sure what to think about all the whispers behind my back." Thel glanced at the ground for a moment as she overheard the guard's whispering conversation before they passed another corner.
"... they are simply… not yet used to your presence here. Understandable considering that you seemingly appeared out of nowhere, but I assure you, none of them harbor ill feelings towards you. Especially after our two races have fought together side by side for such a long time now."
Her voice trailed off near the end, and she glanced at John once more out of the corner of her eyes, watching for his reaction. Which consisted of a slight and almost unnoticeable nod.
Thus, it prompted her to release a faint but relieved sigh.
"I have not yet shown you your own quarters for your stay, allow me." John tilted his head slightly once the Arbiter came to a halt next to a door before she faced him. They didn't seem to be striving around without a true destination in mind as he had thought, then. At least the Arbiter wasn't. A small glance outside revealed to John that they were quite high up within the keep, and if he were to guess, it was one of the rooms which was probably up the highest.
However, before Thel could continue, she was suddenly interrupted when she saw that somebody was approaching.
R'tas witnessed that she was currently in a conversation with the Chief, thus, he kept silent when Thel took note of him, the intent of wanting to speak with her for a moment evident.
"... you can go ahead and take a look around, I made sure that you possess everything you may need. But if there is anything else you might need, you only have to name it. I will do the rest." John turned slightly when he took note of the presence of the other Sangheili behind him, thus, he simply nodded with a word of gratitude before he went inside, not wanting to disturb anything.
Just as the doors slid shut behind him, R'tas calmly began to speak.
"May I speak with you for a moment?" Thel looked at R'tas with a calm expression, knowing that the latter was trustworthy.
"You are already." with a small twitch of amusement on his left pair of mandibles, he continued.
"Word about your constant presence around the demon is spreading everywhere. You are quite adamant on staying near him on every occasion, it is creating confusion. Not to mention that his presence is already stirring quite a lot of attention." during the time he spoke, the Arbiter had turned around to look outside, watching the rest of the sun slowly descending while her back was now facing towards R'tas.
Silence reigned for a moment, enough for R'tas to grow slightly worried before Thel turned her head towards him ever so slightly, enough to settle a single eye upon him.
"... so?"
R'tas hesitated with his next words, choosing them very carefully.
"... you know yourself that a lot of your actions speak louder than words. I am simply curious, for I doubt that he might be aware of it."
"These concerns are none other than my own. Please respect that for now."
R'tas stared for a small moment longer, connecting the dots in his head himself, before he slowly nodded.
"As you wish." and with that, the Sangheili strode off, leaving the Arbiter alone in her thoughts. At least before she slightly shook her head to clear her mind, instead choosing to see John once more to assure herself that he possessed everything he needed.
But unbeknownst to her, their conversation had not solely been between the two of them.
When the Arbiter entered the quarters she had gifted to John, she found him standing slightly at the end of the room, his vision directed outside.
The room itself was grand. In fact, if one were to guess, they would most likely believe that it was at least for two or more people. It contained everything a person might need, reaching from a bath, even though it was a bit different in design, to the relatively grand sized bed in the center. From a mere glance, it was apparent that quite a few things were added that were not originally part of the original furnishing, in this case, meant for a human occupant.
However, when she calmly approached John, his voice suddenly caused her to stop right in her tracks.
"Why are you so adamant about me staying here?"
Thel looked at John with an unreadable expression, mixed together by multiple emotions, but apart from that, she didn't yet utter a word in return.
"I overheard what you've been talking about. Why are you so adamant about me staying here?" the Arbiter's eyes shifted along the ground for a brief moment, but even as they shifted back towards him, he cut her off.
"And don't tell me it is because of my health. I am fine."
Thus, she closed her eyes, her form seemingly loosening before a long moment of silence reigned in the air. But it did not last forever.
"If it were up to your kind, to the entire UNSC, they would have left you to die. Like a tool that was not worth to be searched for, that has lost its use. And if I were to bring you back to them, they would not hesitate to use you like this once more." John looked at her closely, for her tone had changed drastically, having grown far more deep and laced with a tension that he dared not to explore further. For even as she spoke, the Arbiter did not open her eyes.
"That is what I was made for, to protect humankind at all costs, that is the sole purpose of my existenc-"
"It is not!"
Until now. Her eyes were almost piercing John even through his impenetrable visor, all until she seemed to regain control of herself after her sudden outbreak which had effectively silenced him. But her tone immediately changed, growing more and more revealing as she took a small, almost hesitant step towards him.
"You are no tool… you are far more than that, a living being, a being that deserves so much more than what you are being granted…"
Another step, more deliberate, more demanding.
"... don't you realize…? I don't want to see you being used like this anymore, not after I was granted the honor of fighting beside the human who is so much more than the cover that everyone knows as the demon. If I return you, I could not forgive myself…"
Another step, close, so much closer to the human she wished to touch.
"... but if you were to stay here, with me…"
He did not back away, his hands frozen at his side, and she could touch his fingers with her own just as she halted a mere inch in front of him, her head almost leaning against his visor as she gazed upon the point where she knew his eyes would be.
"... then I would protect and stay with you for as long as I live, I promise, I would not let the same happen to you…" her hand gently brushed along his armor, up until it cupped the side of his helmet and graced it with her fingers.
"... to me, you are everything…"
His body tensed more and more, until suddenly, he took a hasty step back, his breathing revealing his inner state of mind. A gasp escaped Thel as he backed away, her mandibles clenching ever so slightly in hurt as she stared at him, only to be met with the same, dreadful and expressionless visor.
"... I… I will move a bit around, please…" before long, he evaded her eyes altogether and slipped past her to make for the entrance of his quarters. But he could not do otherwise than to halt as her voice spoke out once more, laced with agony.
"... is that… so evil…?"
His back was facing towards her, but he didn't offer another word before he silently strode out onto the corridors of the keep where he was currently situated, never seeing the way the Arbiter's hand was emptily reaching out for him.
Before long, she suddenly broke down upon the floor, kneeling upon it as her hands gripped upon the marble stone beneath. Here she was, the Arbiter, beaten into submission as she felt her inner hearts aching with unreleased pain and suffering.
And she couldn't find the strength to continue.