They were the last rays of sunlight which were shining through the Vadam keep, illuminating the training grounds merely with a faint, orange light.
Slash
The sounds of an Energy Sword cut through the air, the faint buzzing of the energized blade sounding over and over again in a flurry of strikes as the Arbiter almost mercilessly brutalized the training dummy in front of her. Every strike elicited yet another hitched breath from her, every movement of her mixing together with the sounds of her own sobs.
Thus, in her dazed and emotionally torn state of mind, she didn't even realize in the slightest that a certain Sangheili was watching her shallow and internally broken form from a corner, leaning slightly against the metallic door frame. For each of the Arbiter's movements spoke only more of the searing pain that threatened to break her entirely. In the end, she almost succumbed to the ground with an agonizing cry, falling upon her knees with her hands leaning upon the hilt of her sword, all while her head hung low to the ground. And the silent drops of tears fell upon the floor.
A small huff. R'tas shook his head with a barely audible click of his remaining pair of mandibles before he silently left the training grounds, trying to drown out the sounds of the Arbiter's desperate attempt of calming herself down with excessive training.
He had a destination in mind.
The faint glimmer of the stars illuminated the sky while the calm night helped John to clear his head. He was… frustrated, for the lack of a better term. For not understanding, for not being able to understand what was actually happening.
He didn't… get it.
It was like a thick stone wall within his own mind, one that, regardless how often he tried to figure out what to make of the Arbiter's every word and action, he would never manage to break through that wall. Instead, he would continuously bump against it, each time with more force than the last whenever he tried harder to read the Sangheili. It was like a foreign language that he simply couldn't grasp…
She seemed hurt. He was the source. He did something wrong. He didn't understand something. And each time, there was that nagging feeling at the very back of his mind, one that almost seemed to blame himself for… for…
Suddenly, his head perked up slightly, immediately noting the faint sounds of footsteps behind him before he turned around.
"Good evening, d… human." John recognized the Sangheili in front of him as the one who had previously already wanted to speak to the Arbiter. And much to his puzzlement, the Elite was trying his best to form what remaining semblance of a smile he could still muster with half of his mandibles missing. Albeit it didn't last very long.
"Likewise." R'tas studied the demon in front of him for a long moment, but the only thing he would witness was the golden, expressionless visor that the human was so infamous for.
Wordlessly, the Sangheili joined the Spartan at the edge of what could be considered as a balcony high up in the keep, glancing at the stars while John silently followed his gaze.
"You are very lucky, human." R'tas didn't look at John even as he tilted his head slightly. Truthfully, in that small moment, he could already tell so much. The demon may lack the horns or wings anyone would picture in their mind, but internally, it was fitting all the same. And that was when R'tas finally did shift his gaze directly at the Spartan.
"Did you know? The Arbiter was very adamant in trying to make you feel as much at home as she possibly could… it is quite a privilege to spend so much time in her presence. Not to mention that you received a place this high up within the keep." R'tas glanced at the stars once more.
"We have fought on many battlefields before, but I am grateful." for a small moment, R'tas let these words of the demon course through his mind, almost as if he tasted them.
"Tell me, if one of your superiors were in danger on the battlefield, would you abandon the rest of your soldiers if it meant for a chance to save them instead?"
"They are crucial, if it is necessary, we would all do that." R'tas hands were beginning to clench.
"If the success of a mission demanded that you sacrifice soldiers under your command, would you do it?"
"The mission stands above all else, no matter the costs." his mandibles twitched, and suddenly, his voice became entirely blank.
"... if the Arbiter were to become your enemy… would you fight her…?"
The air grew silent.
"... I…" R'tas stared at the Spartan without ever looking away. His eyes almost bore through his visor, taking all of him in. His hands were beginning to twitch ever so slightly.
But even after a long moment of silence, the Spartan merely shifted his head to the ground, not uttering another word. And thus, slowly but surely, R'tas approached the Spartan.
But before he knew it, the Elite had reached his hands beneath his helmet. With a weak movement of his hand, John had barely attempted to stop the Sangheili before it was taken off with one swift movement.
And it clattered upon the ground when R'tas simply threw it away, his gaze directed upon the true eyes of the demon. A pair of soothing brown orbs, flesh that formed a unique and individual face, and a shocked expression that revealed something which every living being possessed. Emotions.
"You are no machine, human. Some things are more important to you than others, and rightly so. But do not let these things be something which takes control of your life. A soldier does not follow blindly, a soldier does not lose their heart… you are still a being of honor, one that should do what they think is right when it comes down to it." for a brief moment, R'tas placed a three fingered hand upon John's chest.
"When the Arbiter loses soldiers under her command, she mourns. When the Arbiter takes a life, she mourns. But regardless how many allies she has lost, regardless how many lives she has taken… if she were to lose you, she would fall apart forever." and with that, R'tas took a step back, turning around to take his leave.
Perhaps… perhaps not all was lost within him…
But with a last glance over his shoulder, he gave the Spartan one last question.
"Now… what does that mean to you?" and with that, he finally took his leave.
All while John stood frozen in place, his eyes barely wandering towards the forgotten helmet which lay upon the ground.
And with a tentative and shaking hand, he slowly touched his head.
When the moon was long at its peak in the night sky, the metallic doors towards the training grounds slid open once more. With slow and tentative steps, a certain human stepped inside, surveying the relatively large hall. And directly in its center, only one other certain Elite was currently present, situated upon the ground with a slumped form and a discarded Energy Sword.
But even as John carefully approached Thel, he could hear the faint sounds of her hitched breathing when he came near.
With his steps approaching, it was not long until he caught the Arbiter's attention before she almost immediately turned her head around, eyes slitted in annoyance until they fell upon him. And she gasped instead with shock the moment she laid eyes upon his true face, his eyes, his features, before she abruptly shifted her head back towards the ground in front of her, desperately trying to force back her inner state of mind.
She didn't speak a single word as John hesitantly came to a halt beside her, her head not facing him even though she knew he was there. But neither did she push him away.
Thus, within that moment, he could feel his mind once again being blocked by that wall. But this time, without another second of contemplation, without another second of fighting it…
… he simply dropped any and all things that he knew, and acted upon instinct.
He slowly sat down beside her, only a small gap separating them.
"... can I talk to you…?" in any other moment, Thel would have felt a warm sensation around her heart when she witnessed the sheer amount of uncertainty and hesitation in John's voice, almost like a child that was afraid it was about to ask or say something wrong for which it may be scolded.
A mere and subtle glance around revealed to John that some parts of Thel's silvery armor simply lay discarded upon the ground, carelessly thrown away along with the hilt of an inactive Energy Sword.
"... I was… just about to clear up and finish for the night…" she couldn't keep out the small tremble in her voice, and suddenly, John felt an uncomfortable tinge within him.
A visible shudder coursed through Thel when his hand touched upon her own, his fingers rather awkwardly enclosing around her own three fingers. Thus, slowly but surely, her gaze wandered from his hand up towards his eyes. She took in his every feature, internally savored each second that she could simply look upon him, but most importantly, try as she might not to, her eyes were fixated entirely upon his own.
Especially when his eyes suddenly wandered down to her chest, and with the lack of her chest armor, the large mark of shame was more than visible to John, embedded deeply in her flesh.
And with a trembling hand, he weakly reached out to touch it, all while Thel watched him without ever shifting away.
When his fingers came into contact with it, Thel's mandibles clenched ever so slightly, the small contact alone filling her with a warm, tingling sensation. And thus, in the end, she couldn't refrain from speaking up any longer, her inner self almost bursting with each and every feeling that she had desperately tried to force back.
"... forgive me… I don't want to force anything upon you, I… I simply…"
"I need to understand something." anything else Thel might have wanted to say remained unspoken when she looked back into his eyes, seeing the hidden determination within John's gaze. And so she remained silent, seeking to know what it was. For a long moment, John pondered deeply and carefully about each and every single word that he was about to speak.
"If… if you were given the choice to choose between me and your own soldiers in a life and death situation… who would you choose?"
Silence reigned in the air for another long moment, and Thel allowed these words to seep into her mind.
But despite it all, in the end, her three fingers subtly closed around his own, and her head hung ever so slightly to the ground.
"... you…"
His breathing grew slower. His head seemed to tighten, the wall in his mind beginning to crack.
"... if… if I were to become your enemy again, if I were to become a threat for your people again… would you fight me again?"
Again, even though her fingers began to tremble, her head hanging lower to the ground with barely suppressed feelings of guilt…
"... never…"
And thus, the wall began to creak entirely, and John stared at Thel for what felt like an eternity to him. What was it… what set him apart from other living beings and soldiers? Why would she choose him over her own people, why would she act in a way that seemed to make no sense, why… why-
"... and I would do so without blinking an eye because I have a desire! One that may be selfish, but it is one that reflects my wants, my wishes…" her hands now entwined with both of his own, and suddenly, John was almost startled the moment she pushed him to the ground beneath her, ignoring any last barrier that might have remained between them. Her head hovered above his own, and her eyes never left his own.
"I love you. I respect you. And regardless of what may happen, you hold a place in my hearts that I will never give up anymore… that is how I feel…"
Their breathing mingled, and Thel didn't hold back anymore. John's mind was overwhelmed, all of his thoughts, all of his emotions at a loss. But in the end, Thel lifted her head slightly.
"... but I can't change how you feel. And that is all I can do… I can only hope. But whether or not you feel the same… that is your decision alone, and… I would accept anything you give me…" each word hurt her more than the last, but ultimately, she slowly let go of him and rose from the ground, resisting each and every sensation that was crying at her for breaking the contact. It all went against her culture, the inborn instinct to stake a claim over another whom she wished to have as a mate. But she respected that he was a human, and thus, she would never try and force anything. All that she could and would do was to leave it to him…
… but… if he should ever accept her…
"I promised that I only wanted to ensure you recover properly. The week is slowly coming to an end… if… if you want to leave after that, I will contact your kind and have a phantom waiting for you whenever you wish to leave… but… if you should ever decide otherwise, I…" her head faced to the side with her eyes closed, unable to look at him without showing the sheer amount of vulnerability in her gaze.
"... you know where you can find me…" and with that, she finally took her leave, the doors of the entrance sliding shut behind her.
… if he should ever accept, then she would show him what it meant for a Sangheili to bond with someone.
For once that bond was forged, it would last forever, never to be replaced.