Waiting
Bam. Bam. Bam. A sharp banging resonated throughout the Falcon. Even in his sleep, Han could feel the answering rattle of the deckplates, the shuddering of shelves, the shaking of the bedside chrono. Clearly some creature was violently dismembering his ship, the same ship that in his dream-state had just come clean out of hyperspace, the rush from light speed still reverberating within him.
Bam Bam. He opened his eyes and blinked in the darkness of his cabin. As consciousness descended further he recalled that he was back on the base, not traversing the unexplored corners of the galaxy, and thus reconciled himself to the fact that the rhythmic banging was the likely signature of a stubborn Wookie.
"I'm comin', I'm comin'," he hollered hoarsely. Swinging his legs over the side of the bunk, he rose unsteadily to his feet. Perhaps that last glass of Whyren's had been unwise.
Stumbling to the hatch, he was about to demand why Chewie just didn't open the damn thing himself when it hissed open, light from the corridor flooding his room. Now it was obvious why his friend hadn't breached the entrance. The Wookie was standing with his fist raised, looking more than a little annoyed. And Leia was standing next to him.
"Princess? What's goin' on?" He scrubbed his eyes against the light, marginally more awake now. How long had he been asleep? He checked his bare wrist before searching blearily for the chrono. Almost two in the morning. Clearly not long enough.
"The squadron hasn't returned." Her voice was clipped as she hugged herself tensely.
Han nodded at Chewie to indicate that he'd take it from here. The Wookie let out a groaning yawn and started back for his hammock.
Refocusing on Leia, Han noticed that her cheeks were paler than usual and dark circles bloomed under her eyes. He had observed her withdrawn and overburdened before, but the miracles of youth were usually able to cover up the worst of it. Now she just looked exhausted.
"Luke's squadron?" Han vaguely recalled that the evening's sortie was a last-minute engagement for which his friend had volunteered. "I'm sure they're fine."
She shook her head. "They were supposed to arrive back at the base hours ago. Luke checked in when the battle ended and said it had been a success, that they had all made it. But we haven't heard from him since and the other pilots haven't responded to our messages either."
"You tried them on the back-up frequencies?" He felt more alert now, his mind casing over the possible scenarios.
"Yes. Of course." She gestured impatiently. "And with both sets of codes. Nothing."
He ran his hand through his hair. "There must be an explanation. I'm sure they're all fine."
She ignored his attempt at reassurance. "They were in a remote region and there wasn't anything in the intelligence to indicate additional belligerents. We checked carefully." Her words held a guilty tinge. He knew she would blame herself if anything unanticipated occurred under her orders.
"Maybe they went radio-silent for a reason." It certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibility despite the security of the heavily-protected Alliance frequencies. "Maybe they had evidence that someone was hacking into their transmissions. Luke's a sharp guy, he would've picked up on that."
Leia shook her head. "We just re-encrypted this frequency. The Empire has never been able to intercept our channels that quickly. And Luke always checks in or lets us know if something unexpected happens. At the very least, he would send a classified message so we'd understand and prepare for a change in codes."
Han resisted stating the obvious: that there were several possibilities for unexpected occurrences that wouldn't allow time for a warning. He knew she was trying not to dwell on the worse-case scenarios.
"What would help?" he asked. "You wanna stay here and try with the Falcon's communications or go to the command center?"
"The command center," she decided. "We've already started the standard procedures for this type of situation."
He nodded. "I'll come with you. Just let me throw on some clothes." He didn't miss her darting glance at his bare chest and abdomen before she moved away. Thankfully he hadn't been dreaming of her when he was pulled out of sleep. Not this time anyway.
In the command center he parked himself in a corner and watched as she circulated around the stations. The communications personnel dispatched messages to the squadron across multiple channels at pre-determined intervals while other officers conducted radar sweeps. The uneasiness in the room manifested itself in a muted solemnness, the crew at their stations trading instructions in whispers and keeping a respectful distance from Leia.
One hour ticked by. Two. To break the monotony and stretch his legs, Han trekked over to the mess to grab some kaffe. While he was up he decided check if others in High Command were around. Leia hadn't wanted to wake up Rieekan or the other commanding officers. Not until there was confirmation anyway.
After determining that the usual gathering places were empty — and grumbling to himself that the Princess alone among the leadership shouldn't have to bear the burden of the missing squadron — he retreated to the command center. Leia's attempt at gratitude when he handed her a cup of kaffe crumpled under the weight of incipient grief; she met his eyes for only a moment before her gaze shifted down to his neck and over to the screens still devoid of any signal.
She continued standing helplessly in front of him, kaffe abandoned on the table behind her, so without thinking he pulled her into his arms. Her face pressed into his chest and he found himself running his fingers over her head, dipping in and around her braids soothingly, tucking invisible strands of hair behind her ear. She leaned against him more solid and willing than ever before and he tightened his grasp in response.
So many times he had wondered how she would behave if they were to come together for pleasure and not the comfort or consolation that they occasionally allowed themselves. Even in their current grim situation, his thoughts drifted toward the erotic. What would she be like in his arms? Eager and confident, taking the lead as she did in so many other areas of her life? Or would she be pliant and yielding, her body rippling beneath his, pleas escaping her lips as she gasped against his flesh? His imagination had conjured so many potential scenarios that by now they were all blended together, a hopelessly muddled mosaic of damp body parts and whispered entreaties that was somehow never sufficient to soothe his desire.
Tearing himself back into the present, he rubbed her shoulders in what he hoped was an appropriately non-erotic manner. "Don't give up hope," he murmured into her hair. "You know Luke — that kid's got luck on his side." Or the Force, he thought. Or something.
She sighed against his chest and drew back. The propriety that she carried in public, propriety that fully ebbed only in purely social situations, drinks around his table or holos in the hangar, reasserted itself. "We'll give it another hour and then I'll wake the others."
The early morning minutes stretched on unrelentingly. Han couldn't tear himself away from the wall chrono counting down to 0530. Leia kept glancing at it too, as were the others in the room. The deadline of their waning hope was crawling closer and closer.
"Princess." It was one of the ensigns at the terminals. "I'm picking up some signals on the short-range radar."
Leia was on her feet. "Where? Show me."
"Here. I think it might be the squadron." The kid — he couldn't be any older than Luke, Han thought — pointed at the monitor. "There's ten — no, twelve." He glanced up at the Princess anxiously. "That would be all of them."
They all crowded around. "You're sure?" Han couldn't help asking.
"Yes." They all watched the blinking pixels crawl steadily from one side of the screen to the other.
If the ships were on the short-range radar then they would be landing in the next few minutes. Han threw a last look at Leia before jogging out of the command center.
She reached his side seconds after he planted himself just beyond the reach of the landing strip. Edging closer to him, her arm brushed against his. He reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
"Hey! Leia!" A familiar voice burst from her comm. "We're just about to land. See you in a minute."
Han looked down to see her exuberant grin right before she threw her arms around him. As she hugged him even tighter than she had an hour ago, he thought he could detect the stuttering of her heart against his chest. Maybe it was the effect of his own relief at the news. He breathed in her scent, the anxious churning within him now replaced with a different kind of nervousness at the anticipation of her happy reunion with Luke.
As squadron leader, Luke touched down first, the heat from his ship's engines nudging back the waiting group. Tripping down the ladder, he pulled off his helmet off and jogged toward them.
"Where were you?" Leia was frowning and smiling at the same time as she rushed to him. "We were worried sick!"
"We got hit by a freak magnetic storm just as we were starting back," Luke explained. Han watched as he released her easily and glanced up at the R2 unit being hoisted out of its trappings. "It must have come from the nearby star because it took out half of our systems, including our communications. Most of the R2s were damaged too." The other pilots had dismounted their X-wings and gathered around one by one. "Everyone had to re-boot the droids from the cockpits and that took a while."
"But why didn't you check in after you were back online?" Leia demanded.
Luke shrugged. "We had to prioritize our hyperdrives before we did anything else. Once we were able to make the jump, the droids worked on the other systems. The transponders came online just before we arrived." He cocked his head. "Hey, you guys weren't up all night waiting for us, were you?"
Han slid between Luke and the Princess before a physical altercation could break out. "C'mon, kid. Why don't we go to the mess and you can tell us the rest over breakfast?" He steered Luke to the door, unable to resist winking at Leia as she fumed in thwarted fury.
Halfway through their meal, Leia entered the mess. Han noted her complexion had improved; maybe she had escaped for a quick nap or shower. As several of the pilots had already stumbled off to their quarters, he pulled out the empty chair next to him and pushed a plate in front of it. "Saved this for you."
She gave him an unreadable look as she broke off a piece of muffin. Turning to Luke and the others, she peppered them with questions about the Imperial maneuvers they had witnessed. Han smiled to himself as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. The familiar sounds heralding the start of a new day merged with the voices of his friends until they faded to an indistinct buzz, rising and falling in cadence with his breathing, until he was finally lulled back to sleep.