TW: infant loss.

It was the morning of Christmas eve and Cora gave Robert a little package. "Open it."

"We said we would do the gifts tonight?" Robert said surprised.

"This is a special one, I want you to open it now." Cora smiled.

In the box, there was a test strip. It took a minute before Robert realised. "Are you sure? Really, are you pregnant?"

"I am, I did a test at the doctors yesterday, and yes, we are going to have another baby."

"You don't know how happy you make me." He took Cora's face in his hands and kissed her. "When are we going to tell the family?"

"I want to wait with that, can we do it after the first scan at 12 weeks?

"What ever you want darling, what ever you want." And Robert smiled his biggest smile.

Months had gone by, and Robert was laying with his hand on Cora's belly. "The baby is very quiet today?"

"I didn't feel the little one since yesterday, I will call in today to get a check up."

"Little one, stay safe in there ok!" Robert kissed Cora's growing belly when he felt a spasm. Cora sat up straight and rubbed her belly. Robert gave her a concerning look. "What was that?"

"I am not sure, it felt like a contraction, but that's not possible, it's too early."

"Next week will be your 7th month!"

"Something is wrong!" Cora's eyes were big. "Something is really wrong." She got up to change in her clothes. She left a spot of blood on the covers.

Robert rang for Rosamund, she had to come and watch the kids, nanny wouldn't be in today. He rushed Cora to the hospital.

She sat next to him in the car doubled over in pain. Her already light skin tone was white as a sheet.

At the ER, Cora was definitely in labour, there was no question about that. Robert held her hand and coached her through it. The look on the nurse's faces was concerning. Cora had to deliver this baby, 2 months early. Robert was scared out of his mind, but he tried to stay calm. Cora needed him. The birth was very quick, Cora had gotten strong contractions before they left home, and it only got faster once in the hospital. With just a few pushes, the baby was born.

The nurse cut the umbilical cord and rushed the baby out. Robert could see it was very tiny. Cora was in tears. "Robert, what's wrong. Were did they take our baby, why aren't they saying anything?" She clamped herself against him.

After what seemed like forever, the nurse returned with a little bundle in her arms. She gave it to Cora and said: "I am so sorry."

Cora looked at the little baby in her arms. It looked so peaceful. Everything was there, 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. A perfect small nose, and beautiful lips. She brushed her finger over the head. She had given birth to a baby boy.

Robert sat next to her on the bed, one arm around her shoulders and the other one on the little boy. "You would have been more than welcome little one." Tears streaming down his face.

"We have to name him, but I can't." Cora sobbed. "I want him to breath, I need him to open his eyes. Why isn't he breathing, what did I do wrong?"

"Darling." Robert's voice was thick of tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. This isn't your fault, darling!" He pulled her close. "Patrick Isidore, will be his name. He is with his grandfather's, so he will have their name."

Cora could only cry and stare at Patrick. After a while a nurse came in and said she needed to take the little one to prepare.

Cora and Robert washed Patrick and dressed him in a light-yellow onesie. The nurse made a plaster cast from his hands and feet. And they also made one, where both Cora and Robert held his hands.

Patrick was brought to the funeral home and Robert took Cora home. At home Rosamund tried to keep Mary and Edith with her. But the girls came running towards Cora. Mary as little as she was, knew something was wrong. "Mama? Baby?"

Cora kneeled down and embraced Mary, she pulled her close and buried her face in her hair. Edith tried to crawl in between, and Cora wrapped one arm around her. She sat there until Mary started to squirm.

Robert laid his hand on her shoulder and helped her up. Edith was in her arms and Mary followed next to her. "Mama needs some rest. Stay with your auntie Rosamund, daddy will be back down soon." He took Edith from Cora and gave her to Rosamund, he notched Cora towards the stairs.

Rosamund had cleaned the sheets. Robert helped Cora in bed and sat next to her till she was asleep. He was relieved she slept. She would need all her strength the next couple of days.

Downstairs Mary and Edith were both quiet. Rosamund got up and pulled him close. Rubbing his back. "I am so sorry, Robert. I am so sorry."

Robert broke down, his body limb in his sister's arms. "You cry, my dear brother, you just cry. Let it all out. It is ok to cry." Rosamund held him until he calmed down.

The loss of baby Patrick was hard. Robert tried to stay strong, but some days he didn't know how to cope with that day. Cora was feeling guilty. Although the doctors had said it wasn't her fault. Her placenta had released early in time. There was nothing she could had done differently; it was bad luck. Her breastmilk had come in, and she had to pump. A nurse came in everyday to help her. Her body gave birth and although there was no baby, it was going through the normal stages after birth.

The funeral service was intimate. Violet, Rosamund, Marmaduke, Harold, Madeleine and Maja had attended. Mary was sitting silently next to Cora and Edith on Cora's lap.

"My little boy, how welcome you were, how loved you were. Your footprints never left an imprint on the earth, but you left them in our heart's. You came into this world, so perfect, pure and innocent. The angel's hold you close now. Your laughter will be hearth in heaven, but how we would have loved to hear it too. Your fingers curled up in a fist, gripping to what could had been. Patrick Isidore, you are loved and missed. Dad."