Disclaimers: I do not own Invader Zim
Author's Notes: Okay I apologies in advance but I could not stop laughing as I wrote this. I know I've made fun of the 'Crazy DIB' in this series from time to time. But this, this whole chapter is basically just making fun of the original Invader Zim...Sorry, but I am not sorry, this chapter has a good amount of the real Invader Zim madness that we all love about the show.
Thanks for reading and please review.
(Back with Dib)
[Location: Earth]
Weeks...He knows he told Zim he'd wait, but weeks?
It may sound heartless and selfish, but he thought Zim would have found all his answers within a week! Couldn't he see how much Dib needed him?
Apparently not!
Zim sighed as Mrs. Bitter's droned on about the missing children. It wasn't that he didn't care, he just already knew. The scary teacher explained to his classmates that the children where all found by a Good Samaritan. Turns out the always insane Keef had been kidnapping them off the street for who knows what.
Keef...his name sent shivers of dread through him.
Since the world wasn't ready to know about Aliens, Keef took the fall for everything. Meanwhile, Tak was still out there, somewhere...PLOTTING! Luckily Gir was able to reverse the effects of Project Purple, but Keef... there was nothing to fix. The boy was processed by the police and diagnosed with the worse fit of the Crazies that the world had ever seen.
He was locked away now, in Crazy House for Boys, indefinitely!
Dib should be happy; he should finally feel free...he felt more trapped than ever.
Gaz said it was survivor's guilt, he survived Keef's constant predatory advances, but is stricken by guilt. He knows it's not his fault, he didn't force Keef to become obsessed with him, and yet...He couldn't help but feel guilty. Like if he had just done something differently, anything, Keef would still be somewhat stable.
"But he was never stable!" Gaz argued with him.
Still, knowing this did little to quell his guilt.
The bell Rings and Dib manages to get to his feet, He feels like a Zombie, he just wants it to be over.
"Dib stay behind please." Mrs. Bitters' voice was strangely caring but he still flinched, nodding.
She waited for the class to file out before she spoke again. "I know this is hard for you, but I can see you slipping..."
This was the part where he would tell her he was okay, that he was getting over the worse for it. They both knew it was a big lie, but if he said it...At least then she would know there was still hope there. There isn't, she sees little to no life left in him.
It's scary, scarier than crazy Dib ever was, they wait in silence for a moment longer and then he walks out.
Gaz, Peg and Luna watch on in the hall.
"I can't keep watching this." Peg admitted.
"We've tried telling him." Gaz reasoned. "He needs more time."
"He may not have it." Luna said. "On home world we call it The Saddening, people die from it."
"What we need is a way to get him over his depression." Peg reasoned.
"Not much can do that." Gaz looked thoughtful now. "I mean besides Zim showing up the only thing that would do it..."
"Is a mission!" Luna and Peg exclaimed at the same time.
"Tak's gone quiet, and she'd probably only remind him of Zim." Gaz reminded them.
"No, no aliens." Peg said. "Ghost!"
Gaz raised an eyebrow. "You want to cure my brother's depression with ghost?"
"It won't cure it." Luna said. "But preoccupying Dib will help him get his mind off of it, than time will fly and before he knows it Zim will be back."
Gaz knows it's a long shot, but maybe some ghost hunting would do Dib some good. "Okay, where are we getting the ghost?"
(INT. Membrane' LABs – LATER)
"Behold!" Professor Membrane exclaimed as he holds up a strange bodysuit covered with wires.
"WHAT IS IT? TELL MEEEE! TELLL MEEEEE! AGHHH! AGHHH! TELL ME! AAAAGH!" Gir exclaims.
"A phantom suit! An invisibility shroud, basically." Membrane explained. "They're for military stealth missions, but I've made a few modifications and now they're "GHOST" suits!"
"These are pretty cool." Peg said picking up one from the box.
"How does it feel to be using "real science" to trick Dib into hunting fake ghosts?" Gaz couldn't help but tease.
"Horrible." Membrane admitted, and then looked up; dramatically posing "Forgive me science!"
"Maybe we could use real science." Annabel suggested.
"You mean a therapist?" Gaz asked. "Mom, Dib hasn't trusted one of those since Mr. Dwicky."
"Mr. Who?" Annabel asked.
"He was the School Counselor." Peg exclaimed. "Turns out he killed the real one and stuffed him in the school vent. He had a bad case of the crazies."
"Oh...my..." Anabel was stunned. "And our son was around this man!"
"For a whole day." Membrane explained. "He managed to discover the truth and prove it without a doubt in less than 24 hours." He sounds a bit too proud when he says this. "That boy."
Annabel shakes her head. "Okay no therapy."
"No, but Real Science gets me an idea!" Membrane exclaimed. "As you know I am working on a new project. PEACE DAY!" He says dramatically posing once more. "It's our chance to celebrate as a town for the safe return of the children. And what better way to celebrate than by bringing forth world peace!"
"And this helps Dib how?" Gaz asked.
"Gaz!" Annabel lectured.
"Just trying to keep him on topic, you know how he gets." Gaz warned. "He'll ramble, on and on and..."
"Yes, well my point is, my boy needs real science with me his dear old dad!" Membrane exclaimed.
"Oh boy." Gaz and Annabel say together.
"Yes, we can work on Peace Day together, finally a father and Son project!" He runs off as he spoke.
"And we've lost him." Gaz says jokingly.
"Well at least we already have the suits." Peg reasoned. "Besides it's good to have a backup plan."
(INT. DIB'S ROOM – Later that Night)
A sleepy Dib sits in bed with a horror novel on his lap. The words "CTHULU BADNESS" can be seen on the cover. The curtains blow inward. On his TV, a scary movie plays...
"And now that you know my secret, I will drink your brainblood! BLUHH! BLUHHH!" The movie Actress exclaims.
Dib doses off with the book still in his lap. Suddenly, the TV in his room turns off... ON ITS OWN! Dib doesn't move. Whispering is heard. Suddenly, the window SLAMS shut... ON ITS OWN! Dib smacks his lips and turns his head but doesn't wake. The book closes... ON ITS OWN! Dib momentarily awakens.
"...look out! That pony is possessed!" He mumbles, but ultimately falls back asleep.
"Dib...I am... Count Ghostula..." A voice whispers.
"What are we? Ghost or vampires?" another voice lectures.
"Dib. Diiiiiiib..."
"Huh?" Dib mumbles half awake, he looks around.
"Diiiiiiib. It is I, Count Ghostula." The voice whispers.
"This is too scary!" Another voice cries.
"Silence, my fellow ghost friend."
"Guys?" Dib looks around. The voices sounds like Luna, Peg and Gir, but he doesn't see anyone. "What's going on? Where are you?"
"I'm a ghost from beyond. Look." A voice says ominously
Dib watches as faint phantoms appear, He almost wants to laugh, seriously? The costumes looks Halloween ghost costumes made out of bed sheets. The only thing he can't figure out is how they look so transparent. They float slightly above Dib's bed as one graceful spins in midair. As another floats all over the place, making spooky noises, knocking things over, and being more freakish than spooky.
This had to be the most pathetic haunting he had ever seen, but he just doesn't have the heart to bust them. Of course, he knows right away what they're doing. They're trying to cheer him up, and it was kind of sweet when he thought about it. 'I should play along.' He thought. 'It will make them happy, besides it's kind of working.' He admitted. Sure, not in the way they intended, but he was on the verge of exploding in a fit of giggles so that had to count for something. "WOW." He exclaims in fake awe.
"WHOAH, there, ghost friend!" A voice (obviously Luna) exclaims. "You'll have to excuse him, he's not yet accustomed to being on the OTHER SIDE! Whooooooohhh!"
Dib knows the whole house is probably in one this, which would explain how they manage to look see through like real phantoms. 'Dad must have helped out, or Lard Nar.' He resistance the urge to shake his head in disbelieve and dos something he hasn't done in years.
Act like a crazy, paranormal crazed loon!
"GHOSTS! DAD! GHOSTS IN MY ROOM!"
"I'll be right there Son, even though you're insane." Membrane shouts, it's so believable that Dib can't help the smile. He feels like he's twelve years old all over again, yelling Bigfeets! At anyone who will bother to listen.
"NO! We're not ready for anyone else to see us! We'll vanish forever! Oooh!"
Membrane and Annabel appear in the doorway, and the ghost fade away.
"All right Son, where are the ghosts?" Membrane asked.
He feels ridiculous, but he points at "Nothing" anyways.
"Right." Membrane shakes his head, he's just as bad as acting as his son is. "Anyway while I have you here, we should discuss our plans!"
"For?" Dib asked.
"Why our Peace Day project of course!" He says as if Dib should already know what he's talking about. "We're going to change the world my boy, with real science!"
Oh man it was exactly how it was when he was 12, dad shoving real science down his throat, while he went crazy over things that weren't really there.
His mom looks ready to call it of when he says. "That actually sounds really cool dad."
"Really?" Membrane looks like he just won the lottery. "You mean it?"
"Sure, I mean you've done the Paranormal with me." Dib explained. "It's only fair."
"Oh boy. I can't wait!" Membrane jumps up. "I'll draw u the plan, well start first thing in the morning."
"That's great dad." Dib smiled. "Also, there are still ghost in this room."
"Sure, there is my boy." Membrane laughed. "Sure, there is."
"Well good night sweetie." Annabel says. "Don't stay up too late with your ghost friends." She stifles a laugh as she leaves.
Yeah, his family was not getting the "Best Actors Award" not even close.
The ghosts reappear.
"Excellent! No one must interfere with our spoooky plan." Count Ghostula exclaims.
"And what plan is that?" Dib looks too invested in his, and maybe he is. He totally knows it's fake, but hey it's a distraction, and boy he had no idea how much he needed it until now.
"We want YOU to help us reveal ourselves on live television" A voice exclaims.
"That's an odd plan, but it could earn me the fame and respect I deserve!" Dib picks up the phone and dials a number.
Downtown at the docks Dark Booty Answers his phone. "Yes?"
"Hello? Mysterious Mysteries? This is Dib..."
"Uh Agent Moth-man I think you have the wrong number..."
"Nope I'm sure this is it." Dib said. "Anyway, I have three ghosts in my room! Send a camera crew down here immediately..."
Dark Booty doesn't know what to do, but decides to play along, besides it was nice to hear Dib's voice in high spirits for a change. "Sorry Dib but it's too late for a camera crew, we'll be by tomorrow."
"Understood, I looks forward to exposing these ghost with you to the entire world!" He exclaimed.
Dark Booty shakes his head and hangs up before calling another number.
"Hello?" Membrane's voice says on the line moments later.
"Tell me everything." Dark Booty demands.
There is laughter on the other end and then, Membrane spills everything.
Back with the ghost, Dib had hung up his phone and nods happily.
"Well? Tell Count Ghostula everything."
"Well, it's late." Dib explained. "They're sending a trained professional to make sure you're really ghosts tomorrow." Only after they approve will the host show up to declare me the greatest paranormal pioneer of the century!" He pauses. "And you'll get to expose yourselves to live TV, for whatever reason."
"Excellent! Until than we bid you fair well hummmman!"
The ghost fly out the opening window and into the night.
Dib closes said window, and flops down in his bed where he laughs himself to sleep.
Meanwhile, Luna and the others run back inside through the back door.
"I think that went well." Luna says.
"Sister, why is brother laughing in his pillow?" Moon asked as she walks down from the stairs.
"Because Dib isn't stupid." Gaz answered for her.
Luna deflated. "Our plan didn't work."
"Mary is happy." Gir told her.
"He's right, the plan worked great." Peg assured her. "All we have to do now is keep it up!"
"Or we could encourage Dib to talk about his feelings." Annabel suggested. "With us, not a therapist." she added walking off.
"And now your mom has her own plans." Peg shakes her head. "Well Dib will definitely be distracted now."
Luna perks up. "Than our plan is work!"
Yes, it was their only fear now was how were they going to keep this up in the long run?
(THE NEXT DAY)
Dib couldn't remember the last time he woke up in a good mood. He was still sad, but at least he had something to look forward to today. Which was something, at least. Dib jumps out of bed and puts on a small white lab that was laying on his desk.
His dad must have put it there. Great, it was time to play, the perfect son. He laughed; he knew his dad didn't really feel that way. Besides he meant what he said, his dad gave the paranormal world a deep dive. It was time he did the same for "Real Science!"
Thankfully it was a weekend, so Dib could forget the real world and fully absorb himself in the fake one. He knows ignoring the problem solved nothing, but maybe it was okay, maybe it didn't need to be solved right away. He and the others had been so busy with real impending doom for so long that they had forgotten how to be kids.
Dib runs down-stairs to see his dad sitting at the table, promised plans drawn up and waiting for him.
"Dib, excellent! I thought we could discuss the designs for The Membracelet!" He exclaimed. "The children of the world will join hands as they were them, generating peace all over the world!"
"Wow dad." Dib looks at the plans, the rest maybe fake, but this Peace Day thing was a real even. "Might I suggest multiple colors?" He asked.
"Colors?" Membrane asked.
"Kids will be more invested if they get to pick their favorite color, oh and Gir can sing a song! Kids like it when cute animals sing."
Membrane smiles, Dib was actually working on a project with him, this had been his lifelong dream! To have a son to discuss projects with! "Those are all very good ideas, I'll get the Girls to help Gir with his song, and we'll add colors to the Membracelet!"
A small file buzzes around as they spoke.
"Peace Day hu?" Tak asked. She was back to hiding out in the dumps, much to her dismay. Human trash was so smelly. Still, it was one of the only places the AI's didn't seem to think to look. Probably because Irkens and filth don't usually mix. "She listen intently as Membrane explains Peace Day to the Dib.
"We'll hold a conference, where well show them to the world leaders." Membrane went on.
Tak feels a smile slip on her face. "World leaders, as in all of Earth's leaders in one place?" This was something she could use. She could already feel a plan forming in her mind, if the Tallest refused to see her greatness and Zim's flaws, than she'd force them to see. She would beat Zim and take over the Earth. The Tallest would have front row seats, and once they saw Earth's leaders falling on their knees before her, she will have won.
"That sounds great dad." Dib says.
"Son, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have you working right alongside your amazing father!"
Tak turns off her screen, she had work to do!
Meanwhile as Dib and Membrane work the doorbell rings.
"I'll get it." Annabel exclaims and opens the door to…Dark Booty dressed up as a camera man with a fake mustache.
"I hear your home has a ghost problem." He says.
"Seriously? Not you too." Annabel whined.
"Come now, it's all in good fun." Dark Booty assured her.
"I know, I just feel like Dib is avoiding the problem and all this madness is encouraging that behavior." Annabel sighed.
"Maybe, but sometimes stepping away from a stressful situation can be the perfect therapy." Dark Booty explained. "He's not avoiding, he's taking a break."
Annabel nods. "Okay, I guess it can't hurt to try." She lets him in. "Dib the camera crew is here."
"Well I wouldn't call myself a crew per-say." Dark Booty says in a fake accents Annabel can't quite place.
Dib looks up from his work, he and his dad were just discussing how the positive energy from the children would be absorb with aid of the bracelet. Thus, turning peace into an actual tool for modern day society. He sees Dark Booty and the grin on his face is so obvious, but he stays in character.
"Finally you're here! Dad this is the guy whose going to test the ghost!" Dib gestures to Dark Booty.
Membrane looks at Dark Booty and decides its time. "That's nice son, but I don't see any ghost." He looks around.
"Oh right, they left…I wonder where they went." Dib looks around.
Suddenly a chair float in midair.
Moon who is walking down the stairs looks confused. "I didn't know the chairs had hovering capabilities."
"They don't." Dib said proudly. "See dad the house is haunted."
"The dead, mocking me, always with the dead this boy." Professor Membrane screams.
Meanwhile, Dark Booty rushes over to the chair in fake awe. "Fascinating, but a floating chair doesn't mean phantoms are at work. We'll need to run some test."
"Test?" Moon asked. "There are test to prove you're a ghost?" She had joined Membrane at the table; making herself a bowl of cereal.
"Oh yes, you'd be surprised how many times we end up wasting our time on fake ghost." Dark Booty winks at Dib as he begins to take out various tools from his coat. "Okay, let's start the test off easy. Uh... let's begin with a question. Are you ghosts?
"Oh yes." A voice says. "Very spooky am I."
Dark Booty Nods. "Excellent, than surely you know the Dance of the Ghost!" He said ominously.
"Dance?"
"Yeah you got to do a little dance, like this!" Gir, who had come down with Moon; starts dancing.
"No." A new voice, obviously Gaz argues. "Never, ever."
Gir starts to bawl, VERY LOUDY!
"Oh come on." 'The Ghost' continues to argue.
Gir cries even louder.
"Fine!" 'The Ghost' growls with irritation and three appear doing a silly dance. None of them are in sync at all.
Dark Booty looks thoughtful. "OH Yes. Very good."
"So, what's the next test?" Anabel asked.
"One moment." Dark Booty excuses himself as Annabel looks up the stairs.
"Girls breakfast!" No answer, she shrugs. "Maybe they went to drop Peg off. Oh well. Dib did you want some breakfast?"
Dib nods "Thanks mom." Dib smiles as she makes him a bowl. He could have done it himself, but she's trying to help. He guessed this was the hardest part about being a mom, moms want to fix things. They want to make you feel better, but some pains can't be fixed with a kiss and a Band-Aid. Some things never heal, and nothing they do can change that.
"Well the next test is Ghost are allergic to DIRT!" Dark Booty says with a dark chuckle, he had reappeared with a bucket of dirt.
"Don't you dare!" the middle ghost growls.
Dark Booty dumps the dirt all over said ghost.
She coughs violently.
Dib can't help it, he burst out laughing; He really hoped Dark Booty had his funeral planned because Gaz was going to kill him. "So I guess they're real." He says through giggles.
"Looks like it." Dark Booty muse.
"So what do you do with real ghost?" Moon asked.
"You pay them for a new crop top." The one covered in dirt growled. "And you never speak of this again."
"So we're done pretending then?" Dib asked.
"Yes…" A voice sighed taking off her disguise. "I was only trying to cheer you up." Luna pouted.
"Sister? You're not a ghost." Moon giggled.
"No, I'm sorry." Luna sighed.
"Don't be, it actually worked." Dib said. "It was kind of fun."
Luna's face lights up as Peg, Gaz and Dark Booty take off their disguises.
"What I don't get is you." Dib pointed to Gir. "I thought you were one."
"Oh he was." Peg said. "But he got bored of it and wouldn't dress up this morning."
"Little Blue and I were watching the crazy monkey." Gir exclaimed.
"Well now you can help us with our project." Dib said.
Membranes whole face little up.
"Project?" Peg asked.
"Peace Day!" Membrane began to launch into his spill on the even and how Gir would be making a song to motivate the young children. "They will hold hands all over the globe and spread peace and harmony across the nations."
Gir jumped happily at the idea of singing and dancing as the girls discussed how they would get the word out.
Dib smiled, he could his dad was really happy, he takes a step back. He just needed a moment.
Annabel follows him out. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just…I feel so bad, I made all worry." Dib admitted. "I hate how I get too emotional."
"Dib, there is no such thing as too much emotion." Annabel told him as they took a seat in the living room. "You'll hear people tell you to get a backbone, to toughen up, but everyone processes their feelings differently. It's okay to feel things."
"Even for a tyrant?" Dib asked.
"You can't help who you chose to love, Dib." Annabel told him. "What you can help is how you chose to handle it. You can let it fester and build up inside of you, or you can let it out."
"I'm just so scared that he's never coming back." Dib admitted. "I mean how many times has he done this to you, to Lard Nar? Just swoops in, kicks up dust and then takes off leaving you to…."
"Pick up the pieces?" Annabel asked.
Dib nodded.
"I get it." Anabel said. "He wanted his people to be stopped, but he felt powerless to do anything about it. So he builds a team to do it for him, and he helps them get out of jams as he sees fit. He sees himself as unredeemable monster, but all he really is, is a coward."
Dib flinched at her words.
"But…I think all he needs is something stronger, something that scares him more than being found out." Annabel went on.
"Like what?" Dib asked.
"Like love…" Annabel says. "Losing love, the fear of that is enormous. It makes us do crazy things. Like abandon your family for 15 years."
"Mom, none of us blame you." Dib tells you."
"I know, but I do." She shakes her head. "I missed everything."
Dib shakes, "Trust me mom, the future is bright, and there is plenty of time."
Annabel smiles. "There you go, being the adult. Sometimes I think you're more grown up then me."
Dib smiled. "I know he's coming back." He said, and he did, how could he not? He say the future, he knew they would be together, happy with children! So why, why was he still plagued with these fears? "Mom I know things are going to work out, but I'm…"
"Still terrified?" Annabel nods. "I wish I could tell you it gets better, that one day you'll never be afraid. But I can't fear of the unknown is constant, and even if you know it's going to turn out perfect, eventually everything ends. People grow old, they pass on. I think scariest thing about fall in love is knowing that one day…"
Dib nodded, he suddenly gets it.
He finally has Zim, they are finally together, and now only one thing can take him away, and when he gone…"We're wasting time."
Annabel nodded. "Time we could have spent together." She sighs. "I know I did big things as second in command of the Rebel Alliance. I know we saved hundreds of lives, and the universe is safer, but we as a family lost so much time. We can never get that back…"
"No, but dwelling on that just waste more time." Dib realized.
Annabel smiled, "Exactly, all we can do is live life the best we can, as for Zim…He'll come home…when he's ready."
"Do you really think everyone will forgive him?" Dib asked. "Just like that?"
"Probably not, Dib I know you love him, but he is constantly switching sides, I don't anyone will truly trust him completely." She admits.
Dib nodded. "That's okay, we'll face it, together." Dib smiled.
Annabel smiles. "I still have mixed feeling about him, but I do know there is good in him. And I know he loves you, I see it in the way he looks at you."
Dib smiles. "He hasn't said it yet, but we kissed."
"So I heard." Annabel laughed. "Trawl won't stop talking about it."
Dib smiled. "I wish he'd hurry up." He admitted.
"The best things take time, you know your father took forever too." Annabel whispered.
Dib laughs and it feels good, he's still anxious about Zim's return but now he knows that's okay. "Thanks mom."
Annabel's smile grew. "Anytime sweetheart."
-To Be Continued