New Chapter!

As always, please excuse my grammar mistakes!

Enjoy! This was really fun to write!

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.

After eating lunch, the human children gathered outside the school. Zim observed their behavior closely. They were running about, bouncing an orange ball with black stripes between one another. It appeared that the aim of this activity was to toss the ball into one of the two nets attached to a long pole with a square built at the top. Though, while half of the humans would cheer and smile when the ball fell through the net, the others would frown and shake their heads.

"Excuse me," Zim said to a human girl who was sat in the shadows of a tree, watching their classmates' behavior with a frown. Zim perceived that the girl's hair was purple. Surely, this was not common among humans. Was her hair color a birth defect? "What are they doing?"

The girl looked at him strangely. "What does it look like?"

Zim glanced at the humans again. "I do not know. Running. Bouncing that ball. My question is why are they doing it, though?"

"Are you joking?"

"Joking? No, I am serious."

She groaned. "They're playing basketball. Obviously!"

"Basketball?" Zim repeated this new word slowly. "What is that?"

"Look, you're not funny. Go away."

"Did I give the impression that I was attempting to be funny?"

"Were you so sheltered as a kid that you seriously don't know what basketball is?"

Zim was not certain how he should answer, so he simply replied in the affirmative. "Yes. Might you explain what this 'basketball' is to me? I would like to understand."

"I don't know the rules. I'm only watching them because I'm bored. My game console died, and the friends that I actually kind of like are stuck in detention."

Oh! She was in the midst of grieving. Zim feigned consideration. "I am sorry for the loss of your 'game console.' You must be sad."

"What?"

"And aside from that, your friends are being punished by our superiors. That is awful."

"Nah, it was their own fault."

She was much less sympathetic than he would have expected. Based on his research, Zim had been led to believe humans were quite the emotional creatures. That was likely the reason they were less advanced than the Irkens. Emotions were frivolous distractions. Irkens were trained to quell them since birth, use their brains instead. "I see. Anyway, do you perhaps know the purpose behind 'basketball.' Is it a form of training?"

Gaz slapped her forehead. "Fine, I'll bite."

Bite? Zim backed away, guarding his face with his arms as he waited for her to attack.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

Zim stood there for a moment. When she did not stir from her seat on the ground, he assumed he had misunderstood her somehow. Not knowing how to explain himself, Zim told her, "Continue on with what you were saying, please."

"Basketball is a game. They're playing it for fun."

"Game? As in those frivolous, unproductive activities?"

Gaz blinked. "Sure. Whatever gets you to stop asking me questions."

Zim laughed internally. Games? Fun? These humans were ridiculous, wasting their precious time on something so useless. It was no wonder they were of an inferior intelligence with subpar technology. Did they not realize they cruciality of military preparation? Their ignorance and laziness would soon be their downfall.

"Dude! What is wrong with you?"

Zim was broken from his daze. He realized that he had been loudly and maniacally laughing to the sky, all while in front of this girl. He was too excited. "Pardon me," he said. "I will be leaving now. Enjoy the remainder of your day."

"Yeah, whatever." She waved him away and slouched against the tree.

Zim began to turn but stopped. "By the way, is the word school misspelled in the name Sullen Middle Skool?" He had been meaning to ask, and it was probable that this girl would know.

"Duh. If you're asking why it's misspelled, it's because the principal thought it was a funny touch. Then again, I've heard stories that it was a mistake, and they were too lazy to fix it. Both sound pretty accurate."

"Oh. Interesting. Thank you for your time."

Zim walked towards the humans in the midst of their pitiful game to sneer at them. He was subtle with his expressions as to not be noticed, but inside, he was still laughing at them. Soon, he would be their leader. No, not simply their leader. He would be the leader of the Irkens. He would be dubbed an Almighty Tallest. Zim, the short Irken whom everyone called idiotic, would prove his intelligence. They would beg for mercy! They would plead for the right to even kiss his feet! Zim would be—

"Watch out!"

"Ow!" Zim cried when the basketball smacked into his face, interrupting his inner monologe and propelling him to the ground.

"Sorry, Zim," said one boy from behind him. "I told you to watch out!"

Zim rubbed the sore spot between his eyes. "My sincerest apologies. I should have been more vigilant."

"What's vigilant?"

Was this question meant to throw him? It would be to this human's disappointment that Zim knew the answer. "Observant or watchful. Anyway, I should leave." Zim longed for the peaceful serenity he received when alone. Humans were tiresome creatures.

As Zim walked towards an area void of human life, he noticed his reflection in one of the school's windows. He panicked, running to the translucent image of himself. His left eye was normal, as in completely red. He slapped his hand over it and cursed his luck. The Eye Changer must have fallen out. What would Zim do? According to the students and teachers, another class would begin shortly. It would be strange to conceal one eye throughout the lesson. Surely, he would be interrogated for his behavior. If they saw, could Zim claim it to be some form of genetic disformity? These humans were not the brightest. It was possible they would believe him. However, Zim could not leave it to chance.

Zim dropped to the ground and immediately started his search for his Eye Changer. If Zim failed to find it. . .He forced the thought from his mind. Zim was a highly intelligent Irken. He was capable of locating the position of an Eye Changer he happened to lose. He would have to. Or else. . .

Dib cocked his head.

He had been walking to his favorite spot in school. It was his favorite because rarely anyone passed by it. There was a huge wasps nest hanging from a tree in that area. Dib had been stung a couple of times, so he sprayed repellent in the morning. It was worth it for the peace and seclusion.

Of course, Zim had to be there, though.

The annoying, arrogant, weird, stupid— okay, not stupid, but the other three characteristics rang true— new kid was down on all fours. He must have been looking for something. For some odd reason, he had one eye covered with his hand. Like that was going to help him find whatever it was he lost.

From the corner of his eye, Dib perceived a shiny, clear object. He picked it up. Upon further inspection, he realized it was a contact. It seemed like a contact. Although, it was a bluish purple color, and there was something off about it that Dib could not quite pinpoint.

Maybe the new kid dropped his contact lens, Dib thought.

Now, the right thing to do here would have been to return it. By returning it, Dib would be the bigger person, the nice guy, which was supposed to be preferable to the king of pettiness and Mr. I-Know-How-To-Hold-A-Grudge. But there was something appealing to letting Zim squirm. He deserved it after puking on Dib's aspirations, just like everyone else who attended this dumb school. His teachers, his classmates, the janitor, the lunch ladies, even the guy that always ate food off the floor! They were all clones of each other, exact same thoughts, exact same opinions, exact same attitudes, exact same ignorance!

This would be Dib's way of standing up for himself.

He turned to walk away, but his conscience yanked him back. He fought against it. Unfortunately for him, it was the equivalent of iron trying to escape the pull from a powerful magnet.

Stupid conscience! he inwardly yelled. What do I care? It's just a contact!

Dib felt bad, though. Zim was new here, and being the new kid was never easy.

Then again, Zim definitely made it look easy. It was only the first day and already he had more friends than Dib. He had won over the classmates and teachers in one fell swoop. Not that Dib cared! He liked being alone! Being surrounded by others was draining!

Zim had also been a condescending jerk to Dib.

Maybe he was just awkward when it came to conversations. Zim had at least made an effort to be his friend, which was something no one ever bothered with. Not that Dib wanted people to talk to him! He was his best company!

Anyway, did Dib really want to be a bully? Zim was no worse than anyone else at Sullen Middle Skool.

After another minute of bickering with himself, Dib gave in and decided to return to contact.

He stomped over to Zim. Was he acting like a pouty grade schooler? Sure, but hey, he was still a kid. A bright kid! An independent kid! But a kid, nonetheless.

"Is this what you're looking for?" he asked, begrudgingly, showing Zim the contact in his open hand.

"Yes!" Zim exclaimed. "You do not happen to know what this is for, do you?"

See! There! Right, there! That snide way Zim had of speaking to him, as if Dib completely lacked even a mere shred of common sense! As if Dib was too stupid to realize he was holding a contact lens! Dib didn't know if Zim was trying to be funny, but he certainly wasn't laughing. "Well, yeah. I've seen a contact before."

"A contact? Right! It is remarkably difficult to see without it."

Zim had yet to remove the hand concealing his eye.

"Why are you doing that with your hand?" asked Dib.

The new transfer student noticeably flinched. "Doing what?"

"Stop playing dumb! Why are you covering your eye? Is there something about it that you're trying to hide?"

"No, of course not!"

Ah-ha! That answer was too quick and too loud to be truthful. Something was up.

"Then let me see!" Dib challenged. "If you do, I'll hand over your contact and leave you alone."

Zim was glaring at Dib. He had pushed one too many of his buttons. "I have nothing to prove to the likes of you. You will give that contact to me without retaliation."

"I would be happy to. After you show me your eye."

"No," he returned firmly.

A thought crossed Dib's mind. "Whatever it is, I promise not to make fun of you for it. And I won't tell our classmates either." On the condition that it had nothing to do with Zim being a robot or having any relation to the supernatural.

"That is not the issue." Zim held out his open palm. "Now, give it to me."

Dib lost his patience, not that he had much to begin with. It ran in the family. His dad and sister had zero patience, too. He seized Zim's hand and tried yanking it from his face. "Just show me," he grunted in the struggle.

As it turned out, Zim was pretty weak. Dib was definitely not the strongest kid in school, or in town, but he managed to overpower the transfer student.

Now, usually when something like this happened, when Dib jumped to conclusions, his suspicions were unwarranted. The person he accused of being a mutant or werewolf or mermaid or alien or robot was a normal human being. Well. . .normal was a stretch. No one in this place was normal, it seemed. But they were human, nonetheless.

However, Dib was surprised to see that Zim's eye, the one he had been hiding, was completely red!

I was right?

Zim stared at Dib in horror. No! He had been discovered! What now? Self-destruct? No, he could not resort to that. He did not have an explosive with him at the moment.

Dib gasped, nearly falling back in shock. "Ah-ha!" he yelled in triumph. "Finally, my hunch was right! You are a robot!"

Zim rolled his eyes, snatching the contact from his enemy for a speedy reinsertion. "I am not a robot," he said. "This is a birth defect."

His confidence vanished for a moment, but it quickly returned. "I've never heard or seen a birth defect like that. I bet your hair's fake, too."

Before Zim could dodge Dib's reach, Dib had ripped his wig off of his head to reveal his green antennas.

This time, his discovery was too overwhelming for him, and Dib collapsed onto his gluteus maximus, also known as a bum, butt, buttock, backside, or bottom.

"You're not a robot!" he all but screamed. "You're an alien!"

Zim reached for his Short-Term Retrograde Shooter, but his school bag was not on his back. It was in the classroom! He had been so foolish! How could he allow this to happen? He had no other choice. He would have to capture this human until he gained access to his gadgets. "Now that you know," Zim said, "you give me no other choice."

He jumped at Dib, but the human boy quickly stood from his spot on the ground. He tackled Zim, pinning his right arm behind his back and shoving his face into the dirt. "You were saying. . ." he mocked.

Drat!

The Irken body was not built for brute force. In a fight relying solely on strength, Zim was useless. What now? Negotiation seemed to be the only viable option.

"Listen, you and I can work as a team. We can become allies."

"Yeah, right! Why would I do that?"

"Together, we can take over this planet. Everyone that has ever taunted you will be at your mercy. You will gain power and respect."

"Everyone would be afraid of me."

"Precisely." It was the dream of every Irken on planet Irk.

"Why would I want that?"

Zim was confused. "Why would you not want that? We are speaking of power! Power! That and revenge!"

"I would not be respected. I would be hated. I want people to see me as a hero, not a dictator."

Zim was not convincing him in the least. "At this rate, you will never be a hero."

Dib squeezed the arm he had locked in his grip painfully. "I will!"

"I am offering you something that you could never even dream of having! It is stupid for you to reject it!"

"I don't want what you're offering!"

Zim scoffed at the boy's obvious lie. It had to be a lie. Otherwise, humans were idiots. Perhaps, that was it. This human was far too moronic to realize the fundamental utilization of power. This race was truly inferior in their knowledge.

"What do you want, then?" asked Zim.

"All I want is for my dad to—" Dib abruptly cut off his sentence.

Zim waited for him to finish, but instead, he presented a new point. "Anyway, if I did want revenge and power, I can't trust you."

As Zim's arm grew more and more numb, he recognized the futility of trying to reason with a human. It seemed they did not operate with logic. Zim found hope of escape, however, when he spotted a nest hanging on a tree branch above them. It was swarming and buzzing with insects. He concluded that they were either bees, hornets, or wasps. It did not matter because all of which were a threat to humans.

He simply needed. . .there!

Zim stretched out his free arm to grasp a rock of equal size to his hand.

I have to be accurate in my aim!

Throw! Hit!

Zim punched the ground when the nest failed to fall, bu then, the insects' buzzing became more aggressive as they were soon crowding over their heads. Dib leapt off of the alien's back, yelling and swatting at the air. Zim snatched up his hat of human hair and dashed away before they attacked him, too.

During his escape, Zim heard the bell ring. He slammed his head into the nearest wall. Class was starting, and Dib was still free. He should have captured the human when he was distracted fending off the insects. He banged his head a second time. A clearish pink fluid dripped down his temple.

Just perfect! Now, I am bleeding!

Zim wiped the blood with his sleeve.

What was he to do? Should he bash his head in until his brain had turned to mush? Should he hide?

Wait!

Zim recalled Dib's reputation in this school. It was as miserably damaged as Zim's reputation among the Irkens. Dib had no allies while Zim had already made two, and the teachers seemed to approve of him far more than they did the human. It was his word against Dib's. If he played his part well enough, and forced his lies to appear as true as possible, perhaps the humans would believe Zim over Dib. For now, he would act as if everything were normal.

Zim retreated to his next class.

His body felt as though it were on the verge of exploding from dread when he saw Dib there. He did not realize they had this class together. Already, the human was shouting Zim's secret.

". . .alien! Zim's an alien! I saw it! He has these freaky green antennas and red eyes! I'm telling you! He attacked me with bees! Look, they stung my arm! Earth is in danger! He's here to take over! If we don't stop him, we're all going to die!"

Zim froze, but he was quick to recover. He was an alien whose entire race thrived on military tactics, on striking first, after all. Even if he had been an insignificant Service Drone on Irk, here he was a soldier. He could not afford for his mind and body to stop functioning in a situation as dire as this.

Zim stepped forward to plea his case, but before he spoke his first word, the entire room burst into laughter.

"Settle down!" the teacher yelled. He sighed, sliding his hand down his face. "I don't get paid enough to deal with crazies."

"I'm not crazy!" cried Dib. He noticed Zim standing in the doorway of the classroom and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "That's him! Right there! The alien! I'll prove it!"

Dib launched at Zim. As his hand seemed to move towards his head, Zim realized Dib's objective. He planned to expose his antennas to the entire class. Zim grabbed both of his wrists to stall his reach. Dib pushed him down, still reaching for the wig. It was only a matter of time before the little strength Zim possessed in arms was exhausted.

Most of the children were cheering, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" but one of them helped the teacher pry Dib off of Zim.

"Enough!" the teacher shouted. "Dib, I'm sending you to the principal's office. You're suspended!"

"But—"

He interrupted Dib's excuse. "Go! Now!"

Dib cast Zim a glare so intense Zim was impressed by it. After all, Irkens often practiced their, for lack of a better English term, "scary faces" as a means to intimidate their enemies, especially during interrogations and negotiations.

Some of the students gathered around Zim, asking him if he was "okay" and assuring him that Dib's behavior was "nothing personal" because he had always acted that way. Zim was amazed the humans disregarded Dib's warnings without another thought. Either humans were incredibly naive or Dib's reputation was worse than Zim originally thought.

"Excuse me," said Zim to the teacher. "What is this suspension you sentenced Dib to?"

The teacher cocked his head at him. Zim remembered his name to be Mr. Gloomi. Although, Tae and Carl had granted him the title Mr. Doom-And-Gloom. "Don't they suspend kids where you're from?"

"I am not yet completely fluent in the English language," Zim said.

His teacher, who dawned a brown blazer, a thick mustache, and purple-toned skin beneath his bottom eyelids, seemed to believe him. "Ah, yes. You are the new transfer student. Where was it you were from? Poland or Scotland?"

"Denmark."

The teacher stared at him before continuing. "Anyway. . .suspension is when a student misbehaves and is thereby kicked from school for a period of time."

"Then, did you forget to kick Dib when he left? Or is the principal supposed to kick him?"

The teacher emitted an unenthusiastic laugh. "Yes. Ms. Bitters said you had quite the sense of humor."

Zim further considered this suspension. "How long is this period of time?"

"For Dib, it will probably be three days."

Three days was not nearly long enough. Once Dib returned, no doubt he would resume his attempts to reveal Zim's true self to the humans. By the time school was dismissed, he would have run out of time to use the Short-Term Retrograde Shooter as that device only deleted memories of the past seventy-five irkinutes. (Converted, that was nearing sixty earth minutes). Zim had no inclination to resort to. . .drastic measures. On Irk, if it was necessary, it had to be done. Zim, being a Service Drone was not used to such. . . messy means. There had to exist another way. Zim was highly intelligent. Surely, his brain had enough brilliance to think of a solution. Tie him up and trap him in his base? Threaten his family? Did humans even care for their families? What to do here?

"Mr. Gloomi," said Zim, "could a student be kicked from school forever?"

He rolled his eyes and groaned. "I will humor you as it's your first day. Yes, Zim. It's called expulsion."

Expulsion! "What would a student need to do to receive expulsion?"

"Well, something really stupid or dangerous, I guess. But that's enough of this. It's time to learn."

Zim grinned evilly.

He repeated the word in his mind. Expulsion.

Yes! That was perfect. Dib could not expose him if he were banned.

I suppose Dib will have to find another school.

"Zim!" Mr. Gloomi yelled. "Stop laughing like a mad scientist and sit down!"

Hope you enjoyed!