Disclaimer: Characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and Grey's anatomy. I keep borrowing them just to have fun writing stories.

Chapter 6: "Good memories last a long time, bad ones even longer."

When she arrives at the hospital, Callie needs a few minutes in the car to pull herself together. Too much emotion had got the better of her. Looking at herself in the rearview mirror she winces. As for her appearance, on a scale of 0 to 10, she was closer to 2-3 maximum. She was seeking makeup in her purse to get a presentable face, when, smiling, she takes out a perfume bottle. Sighing deeply, she puts a few drops behind her ears and inside her wrists.

While she entered Arizona's room, the TV was working without the sound, the images were scrolling but Arizona wasn't really watching them.

- Hi, my favorite orthopedic surgeon. Said the blonde with a false enthusiasm that did not fool her ex-wife.

- Do you even know any others?

- I know plenty of them. Those from Hopkins, and a guy from here, who came to check my shoulder this morning. But I didn't like him, so I sent him back to his department...

- Arizona why did you do that? He was the surgeon who put your shoulder back in place! Coming out of her mouth louder and more coldly than the Latin would have liked, Callie's words caught the blonde.

- Well... I... I don't know ... I... I thought you were my orthopedic surgeon ... And ... and I'm sorry, I thought you fixed my shoulder too... I ... I'll go apologize to him, Calliope... The fetal surgeon seemed bewildered. Feeling sorry and moved by Arizona's air, it seemed to Callie that she had a little girl in front of her who apologized after being scolded. Arizona looked so vulnerable.

- Hey, it's okay, it doesn't matter... You couldn't know... I am the one who is sorry. Okay? She puts a soothing hand on the blonde's arm... I reacted too fast and too hard ... Uh... I guess it's kind of to my advantage that you have forgotten this about me... You know, uh... I'm often in the" too much." I... I always jump too fast to conclusions. You know, the bridge thing, I'm always jumping off the bridge without thinking... Giggling, the Latina nervously ran her hand in her hair, while she was confused by the brunette's behavior, Arizona was staring at her without really understand what she was saying... I am sorry I thought ... Being reluctant to explain her reaction the Latin woman breathes... When you need help, you tend to fire people who want to help you... So I figured ...

- Why would I do that? Asked Arizona surprised... That would be foolish... Why wasn't it you for my shoulder?

- Because I was in New York... The Latin bites her lips, she had let it escape but was not yet ready to invent a story about New York... Anyway... Here is the plan for today. Here, the health care is five stars, but food is downright, "yuk", as Sofia would say.

- Who is Sofia?

- Uh ...

Surprised herself to have mentioned their daughter, the Latina freezes. It was also way too early, and that wasn't the plan for today, she wasn't prepared for questions about Sofia either, thought the Latin woman.
What she had felt in Arizona's home had upset her so much that Callie no longer controlled the emotions that were overwhelming her right now. So... Sofia is ou... my daughter

- Oh, you have a daughter?...

- So, I was saying the plan is to eat something good... And I remembered that you loved chicken Piccata, so I brought you chicken Piccata.

- Well, I guess that's something, if you remember things about me, because for me it's downright the black hole. The fetal surgeon was visibly depressed, Callie could see the anxiety in her eyes. I still have not moved from September 22, 2007.

- It's gonna happen, Arizona... Don't get impatient. It's only day three...

- Yeah, I know, but... And If I couldn't get my memory back. A 10-year gap is a lot... And why did I forget specifically those ten years? ... I mean... I forgot from my first day in this place... That must mean something, right?

- We're gonna try to figure out that, without rushing, okay? I don't think worrying is gonna help.

- Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I think I spent too much time thinking this morning... And I know you can't tell me anything, but it's so weird... For example... I... I'm never single. I mean I'm not a person who stays alone for a long time. But no one really showed up. Am I really so lonely? And then there are these people who come to me and walk on eggshells... It's really strange. The blonde shrugs her shoulders... Dr Shepherd is rather distant. I don't know, she seems afraid to talk to me.

- Amelia is a friend of yours, Arizona...

- Well, she's not very friendly...

- Maybe because you hit on her, the minute you woke up. Answers Callie laughing… In front of Alex, Bailey and me, and she's your friend so I guess she's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react.

- I... I didn't hit on her... I mean, maybe I was a little freaked out. Her cheeks blushing, the blonde grins … I was trying to be funny. That's... That's what I do best when I panic.

-Really, you hit on people when you panic?...

- No, I try to be funny. Arizona was laughing

- Yeah, and occasionally you also weep. Sneers Callie. Please, try to weep next time, it's definitely less awkward.

Struggling with her concerns the blonde does not raise the irony, where pointed the scarcely hidden reproach of the Latin woman.
When she woke up, Arizona had felt an uncontrollable and strangely soothing attraction for the brunette. Aware that she had placed an insistent gaze at the Latin beyond what was socially acceptable, especially, when the woman had just introduced herself as your surgeon, she had hastened to conceal it by diverting her attention to Dr. Shepherd

- I like the guy who runs my pediatrics department though. He seems competent. He came to me asking for a case he was concerned about; and it was nice. But there's this redheaded woman walking into the bedroom, looking at me strangely... She smiles to me, so I smile back, and she says nothing and goes away. It's strange, isn't it? I... I'm afraid that I might have had a thing with her... or whatever...

Callie bursts with laughter

- Kepner wouldn't be written on her lab coat?

- Yeah, that's it! She's acting weird, right?

- Pleased to finally hear you say so! I always told you, but you were claiming I had prejudices. So, about the "Thing" as far as I know... Callie chuckles mimicking the quotation marks every time she says the word "thing"... You had no "thing" with Kepner. April is your friend... even your best friend, since Teddy's is no longer here. Uh, it's true, you don't remember who Teddy is either. Teddy is your other very good great friend; you like her a lot.

- Oh, thank God I thought, maybe... and you know, it would have been so awkward not to 's... Arizona pauses abruptly, staring at Callie... But you're not my best friend?

- Maybe... I don't know... it's not up to me to say it...

- I think you are my best friend. Asserts Arizona, with a very serious air shaking her head as if this revelation were of the utmost importance ... Either way, I'm making you my best friend right now!

- Oh, so kind of you. The brunette chuckles.

Arizona was joking, but her eyes told another story. Tenderly questioning her with her gaze, Callie comes closer her and as the two women did before, finding this incredible complicity they had long shared, they understand each other without saying a word. The brunette takes Arizona's hand between hers.

- I'm so confused, Calliope. Sighs the blonde, looking really distraught.

- Hey, come on. It's going to be okay. Don't start trying to control everything... You do this all the time. You want to stay in control, always be at your best. And, you know, then you get worried, then you freak out and then you say or do bullshit!

Hearing these words, looking at Callie disapprovingly, Arizona winces.

- Uh... Dr Torres you're seeking to lose your best friend title here...

- Unless I'm the one doing that. Adds Callie scratching her head, pretending to think. No, we're kind of alike, but as far as control goes, you get ahead of me. However, on this field of friendship, I am not worried, I'm going to totally sweep Kepner... and even Amelia and her so beautiful eyes... Chuckles the Latin with a smug look, gently teasing her ex-wife to try to lighten her mood. And it worked wonderfully. Arizona was laughing heartily... So, do you want to eat first, or should I show you what's in that bag for you?

- What you've brought to me! What you've brought to me!

Like a child, the blonde jumps in the bed, reminding Callie exactly of their daughter's excitement facing a gift. Arizona winces with pain.

- The ribs?

- Yeah, yeah, the ribs. Groaned the blonde.

- I'll show you what I brought you if you promise me, not to get carried away like a child in front of the Christmas tree."

- I promise.

With a smile that illuminated her face again, Arizona watched the Latin woman looking for things in a bag.
It seemed strange to her to see how Callie's presence made her serene, and how familiar this relationship seemed to her. She even wondered if she had had a little «thing» with her too. Smiling, Arizona immediately rejects this thought. If that had been the case, she certainly would not have forgotten neither those lips that she had such a hard time stopping to look at, when they widened into a big and tender smile, nor those eyes that had something magical. No, it was a stupid assumption, thought the blonde. Dr Torres wasn't a woman you had a little thing with. With this woman, the thing should be great or not to be. And Arizona's credo for what she remembered, was not the great thing, but rather the fun meaningless fling. Either way apparently the ortho surgeon had a family, a daughter, but no wedding ring.

While the blonde's mind was building hypothetical scripts about the orthopedic surgeon's life; taking stuffs out of the bag, Callie was explaining the reasons for her choice.

- So, I took the liberty of going to your place, and bringing you some clothes, so you could take this uncomfortable sleepwear for hospital out. And as I saw yesterday, that you were pretty disappointed with your image in the mirror, in a very unwarranted way, if you ask me... I thought your day moisturizer and makeup would make you happy ... I also brought your shampoo and shower gel; I know you dislike putting anything on your skin. And all this for the very specific purpose of getting out of that bed and starting to learn how to use your prosthesis. So, we fill the stomach and then we work on it... Does that sound like a good plan to you?

- This plan sounds perfect to me. You're lovely Dr Torres. Are you always so considerate with all your patients... Giggles the blonde, charmed by so much thoughtfulness... Either you don't have many, or you don't have a life outside of that hospital?

- Hey, for now I'm Calliope, your best friend ... In the physical therapy room I will be Dr Torres your orthopedic surgeon... Replies the Latin, skillfully evading the question

- I shall try to keep this in mind, Dr Calliope Torres. The blonde laughed, however somewhat disappointed not to have gotten more details about the brunette's life.

" So do I... so do I"... Mentally Callie was giving herself courage

After having had another ride in the arms of the Latin woman, the blonde was now in the bathroom to change into an appropriate outfit for the job ahead. As she set up the meal on the table, Callie heard grunts coming from the next room.

- Everything okay in there?

- Yeah... That's okay... That's... Calliope I... I'm sorry I... I can't put my top on with my arm

- Oh shit, sorry... I didn't think of that... I... I'm gonna help you.

When Callie went into the bathroom, Arizona had her sweatpants on, but she was stuck with her sweatshirt around her head.
Facing Callie, in a bra , suddenly the blonde feels embarrassed. She was not used to being particularly bashful; yet in this outfit in front of this beautiful woman, she suddenly felt the heat and the red rise on her cheeks. Aware of the discomfort of her ex-wife, Callie, who for her part had to mentally reprimand herself in order to distance herself from the images that were imposed on her mind, howls with laughter.

- Please don't laugh at me. Says the blonde shyly

- Couldn't you call me?Oh my god, you must have really contorted yourself to get to where you are.

- Uh... I...I wanted to do it on my own, and...

- And… You just need help, Arizona... Smiles the brunette... See, that's what I was telling you, you never want anyone to help you. Hold on, I brought you something easier to wear.

Callie takes off the blonde's sweatshirt, leaving Arizona in her lingerie front of her. In a deep silence, scraping simultaneously their throats, both women tried very carefully not to meet their eyes.

Undressing her ex-wife wasn't in Callie's plan today either; anyway, nothing was going like she planned, thought Callie.

The Latina gently unties the splint, delicately passing the blonde's left arm through the sleeve of the sweater, and in a religious silence, the Latina begins to carefully button up the garment; each of them focused on controlling her breathing which tended to run wild.

Finally raising her head towards the blonde, Callie sees in the blue eyes a spark that she had not seen for a long time and that she had even forgotten.

- Here... Is it better this way?

- What? Um... yeah, that's really great, thanks a lot, Calliope. Stammers the blonde chasing the sensations that overwhelmed her whole body.

- You... Are you hungry?... I mean, you 're ready to eat? The Latina also struggled with her own emotions clumsily.

After the dressing episode; facing each other, the two women shared the lunch. Expecting the revelation of the century, Callie scrutinized the slightest reaction of the blonde, but her ex-wife seemed to have other interests than chicken Piccata

- So, I guess we should keep talking about you since we're not allowed to talk about me. Maliciously says the blonde between two bites of Chicken

- We can talk about you, Arizona. I just can't tell you about the ten years that your mind has erased, you know, there's this breaking point...

- Which breaking point?

- The breaking point that Koperman talks about in his study, it could be any event in your life that blocks all the memories of that period and I have no idea what it could be. But it's apparently a defense mechanism of your brain, to protect you. And, And, you know, if I accidentally mentioned it, it could be a shock and anchor the amnesia and make things worse.

Calliope took very seriously the role entrusted to her by her colleagues, but most of all, she kept in mind and in her heart the guilty sentiment that she should have done better when her wife was fighting to accept this new body that had been violently imposed on her. She was obsessed with doing things wrong again.

- Um... I'd rather talk about you anyway. For today, I'm tired of looking into my mind for things I can't find... So, a little girl, huh? Sofia?

- Hum

- How old is she?

- Nearly 7 years old.

Callie spontaneously takes her phone to show a photo of Sofia. She chooses a selfie they did a couple weeks ago in New York.

Even though Arizona ate it with appetite and enthusiasm, moaning with pleasure every time she put the fork in her mouth, the chicken Piccata did not give the results that the Latina expected. The brunette had therefore decided to change her plan which obviously didn't work; hoping that Sofia's photo awakens something in her ex-wife's spirit.

Squinting her eyes, the blonde looked closely at the photo

- She is beautiful! She is as pretty as her mom, but she has the same sad shadow in her eyes.

- No! No! She's a very cheerful little girl, but that picture was...It wasn't her best time. Callie hastens to reply, grabbing her phone.

Wanting to immediately reassure the mother that Arizona didn't even know she was, but who at the first glance had deciphered the feelings in the eyes of her, Callie was looking for a different photo.

- Look...

- Yes, it's true, she looks happy, and so do you... You both look happier in this one

It was a picture of Callie and Sofia that Arizona had taken in their former house, at the time of their new start. In those days, during a few months, the couple had really approached great happiness, they had truly believed in it but so many painful events had made it too fragile to resist the slightest new crisis.

Arizona had been fond of this home, so Callie was hoping that maybe the photo would trigger a scrap of memory.

The two women remained silent. The blonde stared at the image, seeming to focus on the details, and the Latina held her breath.

- Is she at her daddy's right now? Asks the blonde, suddenly

- Her father has passed on.

- Oh Calliope... I... I'm sorry... I assumed you were divorced... You know, you're not wearing a wedding ring and you seem to be spending a lot of time here, so I just thought... I'm so sorry... This is so clumsy of me.

- No, it's nothing... And in a way, it's true... I'm actually divorced... Callie winced, and Arizona did not dare to ask any more questions, and barely look at the Latin. Twice...

- Oh...

- But Mark... Mark is Sofia's father; he wasn't my husband... He was my best friend. My husband died anyway

Arizona's eyes were widening, as she heard the revelations of the woman seated at her side. Her life seemed pretty complicated at this point; she no longer knew who she was, or what her existence might look like, and especially what may have created this amnesia, but the Latina's life did not seem any simpler to her either.

- Don't look at me like I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead! The Latina burst out laughing... I thought friends didn't judge.

- They don't! Arizona quickly asserts ... But you have to admit that your best friend, the father of your child, who died, plus your husband, that sounds a little like a gangland in Sicily. It's kind of... How to say it… uh... Confusing... Don't forget I'm a stuck-up woman in the early 2000s.

Callie kept laughing at the blonde's aghast face. Even though she was aware that a family with three parents had never been her ex-wife's dream, her rather conventional side had escaped her at the time.

- All you have to do, is to put things in order. My first marriage is a drunken Vegas wedding...

- Like 99% of marriages in Vegas

- Yeah, kind of a youth mistake. And then when I wasn't in a serious relationship, I used to sleep with Mark, he was my sex friend. And one night when I was devastated and pretty drunk too, because my girlfriend had left me, I slept with Mark and we conceived Sofia.

- I hate her...

- Who? Sofia? Callie exclaims the panic visibly on the face

- No, poor kid, why would I hate her? Arizona was laughing. That stupid woman who left you and upset you. I can see in your eyes that someone hurt you... The blonde shrugs her shoulders with a smile ... So, I hate her.

- Don't... Don't hate her... She made me very happy too. You know, she came back three months later and agreed to the whole thing. My pregnancy, Mark of whom she was not exactly the biggest fan at first, she even ended up loving him. She did all this out of love for me, I guess I didn't realize what that meant to her back then.

Arizona had become pensive, and Callie thought she should have said that, years ago; but even though it was too late, it was oddly good to realize how much Arizona had loved her.

- Yeah, I guess that must have been a tough situation to accept... I mean I don't know if, even out of love, I could...

Callie was smiling with silent words running through her head, "You were capable of so much more than you think, out of love, Arizona, so much more than you know right now..."

- Yeah, she must have really loved you... So, I kind of hate her a little bit.

Shaking her head, the pensive Latin says in a sigh.

- And when Sofia was born, she did everything to make us happy... She was crazy about this kid, we all were, but she, you know... It was like she always had to do more than Mark and I. Her mind escaping into distant memories, an emotional smile on her face Callie whispers... The four of us were really, really happy.

Troubled, Arizona watched emotions pass through black eyes

- Okay, Calliope, you won, I don't hate her anymore.

Callie bursts with laughter, realizing that she hadn't laughed like that in years.

- Thank you, she would be delighted about that.

- But then, the second divorce was with whom?

- She.

- But you were really... really happy like in a fairy tale !... Taking the pout of a disappointed child, the blonde raises her lower lip. Callie closes her eyelids; she had the impression that she was going to liquefy every time her eyes were landing on the blonde.

- Life is not a fairy tale, Arizona

- Calliope, you're talking with a pediatric surgeon, whose brother died in action at 28, I know that life is not a fairy tale. But the adults need to make sure the kids believe in it, for as long as possible and I would have loved your happy ending with Sofia and her mom.

- I would have loved that, too.

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