A/N: Four for four? Lets gooooo! I was not going to update in a while but then all my deadlines got pushed and I was like… well, I have nothing better to do so might as well give the fans what they want. But honestly, I'm surprised, I managed to put out four chapters in four days.

I have finally settled on a name… I need help with the middle name but I just thought that this name was cute and kind of fit. So, the baby boy has been named!

Thank you for being so nice to me, your reviews mean the world to me. I literally woke up this morning with a big smile on my face as I saw I had like 10 new reviews. Thank you so much!

Also, I'm sorry for making you guys cry, I think it was revclsions who said that my chapters weren't intense enough, I usually stray away from tapping into those emotions because… I would never want to be trapped in such a situation and have it happen to me, but I guess I got a bit real with it and liked where it was going.

Alrighty, onto the chapter.

Chapter 4

What is the purpose of life anymore? This isn't the way to live, I mean are we even living anymore? Am I a person? What do I have to look forward to? Initially I had Callie, I used her memory as an anchor, to keep me going. When it didn't work anymore, I relied on Sofia, or my newborn but soon enough even that stopped working. I looked for anyone, anything, to keep me going, my parents, Tim, even God himself but it just didn't work anymore.

I don't think I can go on any longer. I think it's been four years since we have been here. Can I go on for another four years, could I survive for eight years? Sixteen years? Everyday, I woke up, I wished I had died in my sleep that God had finally taken mercy on me and decided to reunite me with my brother, and every day I was disappointed as the harsh sunlight woke me up.

"You okay Arizona?" Derek asked as knelt beside me and helped me light the fire.

Yesterday, Meredith had taken a turn for the worse, her fever spiked and we weren't able to keep it down. We put wet pieces of leaves on her to get her fever down. Today, she seems to be lucid enough to talk, but she's still not back to being herself. I guess none of us are.

Right now, Derek and I were trying to get a fire going as Mark and Lexie went out fishing. This new part of the island had been kind to us, we managed to find enough twigs and leaves to make clothes for ourselves but at this point, 'clothes' were just for warmth and nothing much.

I remember the days, I would dress up, I would spend fifteen to twenty minutes putting my outfit together, straightening my hair, going for a neutral makeup and how I took it all for granted. Now we would just splash our face with the water every morning, no lotion, no lip gloss, no nothing. I braided my now ankle long hair before tying it up in a bun, so that it didn't interfere with my daily tasks. I got a look at my body this morning, something I hated doing. I had no ounce of femininity left. It was just odd bones popping out from places. My skin was ashy and so dry, it had lost its natural shine, my hair is brown now with the ends of it having a bit of blonde in them. I'm pretty sure if I saw myself in the mirror, I wouldn't have been able to recognize myself. Glad there were no mirrors here.

I suddenly realized that Derek had asked me a question and I had totally spaced out, something that I found myself doing recently.

"I'm fine. How are you? How's Meredith?" I asked.

"I think the water caused this problem, but I don't know for sure, till then we should avoid the creek on the northern end."

I nodded. "And how's she doing? Umm emotionally?"

"She… she was having hallucinations throughout the night." I could see that Derek was choking up. "She grabbed a few tree branches in her arms and cradled them. She thought it was Zola in her arms." A tear escaped his eyes. "I couldn't even, I didn't want to… For a minute there, she was happy, she thought she was back home, I couldn't wake her up, I didn't want to get her out of it."

I gulped. I haven't had any severe hallucinations yet, but I have had dreams where I was back with my family, questioning everything I took for granted.

"Zola and Bailey are probably growing up without us," he sighed. "I'm not doubting Cristina's ability as a godmother, but I'm her father God dammit! I'm supposed to be the one raising them, taking them to school, playing with them. And here I am…"

I dropped the rocks I was holding and put my hand on Derek's shoulders. "We… " I don't know what to say. I would have told him we would get back but I don't think that's happening, all of us are going to die here. Just like Brian did two years ago. "They know that you love them Derek."

He nodded before striking the rocks together, getting a fire going.

Suddenly Mark and Lexie came running towards us. "Guys we need to go to the shore, there's a boat, there's a boat coming to get us!"

Not his again. How many times has one of us thought that they saw a helicopter, a plane, even a spaceship once to come rescue us. It was getting too much. Neither I nor Derek moved.

This time Lexie spoke up. "I saw it too, I swear it 's real this time! We need to go! We need to get their attention, we are getting out of her."

Derek laughed. "I'm sick of this. I'm-"

"Derek, buddy, I love you, but you need shut the fuck up and come with us." Before either of us could say anything, Mark and Lexie dragged us.

"This is dehydration, we need to monitor our urine output and water consumption-" I stopped talking as I saw the boat. I could see it. "Derek? Tell me you see it too?"

He nodded. "HELP! WE ARE HERE!"

"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!"

We started yelling and flailing our arms around trying to get their attention. Mark picked up a few stones and started throwing them towards the boat hoping that they would at least hear the 'blop' sound of the rock.

"PLEASE! HELP US!" I yelled at the top of my voice! As tears made their way down my face.

"Please?"

I led my child inside our house as I dumped my bag on the counter.

"No running and no shoes on the carpet!" I yelled as my son almost took off running. What am I going to do with him? He just refuses to listen to me at times and then he just pops those cute dimples of his and I'm literally putty in his hands.

Work has been easy since we moved to Boston. My practice has been open for about four years now and I have patients from all over the world coming to see me. I keep my schedule pretty light just in case the kids need me. No more twelve hour surgeries for me. I still do them, just not as regular.

I made my way to the kitchen, before washing my hands and getting dinner started. Sofia said she was going to study at her friend's house but would be here for dinner. That's one rule of the house, we all have at least one meal together. Most morning's I'm busy with sorting a few pieces of paper, going over case files and getting the kids ready, that my breakfast usually consists of a lukewarm cup of coffee which I drink on my way to my office.

I quickly stuffed the casserole we had for dinner yesterday and started throwing a salad together. I took out some chicken I had marinated yesterday and threw it on my cast iron and reheated the soup. During most weekends, I kept it pretty simple. But on the weekends I would cook and ask the kids to help me out.

"Mommy, what's for dinner?" My four year old son asked me as he ran up to me and hugged my leg.

"Well, we have some chicken and a nice yummy soup and salad."

"Can I see?" He asked.

I crouched down and lifted him up in my arms as I showed him what I was cooking.

"Pumpkin? Ew."

"Enzo! How many times do I have to tell you not to call food names?" I scolded him.

"I don't like pumpkin."

"Baby, everything that is orange is not pumpkin, I know you don't like it so then why would I make it?" I said as I kissed Enzo on his cheek.

"I don't like salad and you still make it."

"Well, salad is going to make you strong and big, or would you rather be tiny forever? Not that I mind. I guess I could hold you forever then!"

"No Mommy! I is going to be strong!"

I laughed at his mistake. It's tough teaching him two languages at the same time, but he's picking on them quite well, he just makes a few mistakes every now and then and they are so cute.

"I am going to be strong," I repeated as I corrected him.

Enzo bit his tongue as he realized his mistake. "I'm going to be big and strong and powerful!"

"Oh really? Mr. Big and Powerful did you wash your hands?"

"Yes," but Enzo refused to meet my eyes.

"Did you though?"

"No."

This boy! I stirred the pot one last time before shutting off the gas and led him to the kitchen sink as we washed our hands together.

Just then the front door opened.

"Sofia, you're just in time, come help set the table."

"I'm tired, make Zozo do it!"

It started out as the Colonel calling him that right when he was born. Saying that he was our savior, the light in dark days and somehow it just stuck. I still couldn't find it in me to call him that. So I stuck with calling him Enzo.

I remembered that Sofia was being rude so I put my hands on my waist as I stared her down. "Do you want to try that again?"

Sofia rolled her eyes before coming to the kitchen. "Sure, I'll help or whatever," she said.

"Now was that hard to do? By the way did you walk from Lucy's house?"

"Nope, her moms dropped me off."

"I hope you thanked them."

Sofia rolled her eyes once again. "Of course I did!"

Nope, this was not a good day to pick a fight with me so I stared her down again. This time she could see that I was started to get mad.

"What I meant to say was, yes I thanked her, your highness, please spare me from your wrath!"

I smiled, "Well peasant, do no harm in the first place."

Just then Enzo interrupted. "Mommy you know, Lucy's moms are lesbinems too!"

I laughed at my son's words. "Zozo, not this again!" Sofia said as she scolded him.

"But wouldn't it be fun to-"

"No it won't! Think about loving someone unconditionally, having a Mama, a Mommy and a Daddy, just to have the two of them ripped away from you!" Sofia's eyes started filling with tears, before she ran upstairs.

It hasn't got any easier for her. My poor baby. I grabbed Enzo in my arms before heading upstairs.

"I'm sorry Sof" he said as he leaned over and hugged her.

"It's not your fault Zozo, it's just-" she said

"It's a bit hard sometimes? But we are getting through it. Right?" I interrupted.

Sofia nodded before wiping her tears. "I'm hungry!"

"Don't be, it's pumpkin again!." He scoffed.

"Enzo!"

"What! I didn't say ew, did I?"

I shook my head. "Am I the only person in this family that likes pumpkin?"

"Pretty much!" Both of my kids laughed as we made our way downstairs.

"Oh before I forget, tomorrow, Rose will pick you up from school. Gram and Pops said that they have some work in the city."

It was weird. Usually Barbara picked the kids up from school and took them to their house and I picked them up on my way back, but today I got a call from the Colonel, telling me that they had some urgent work in the city for a week. I thought they would give me more details, but they didn't say much. It was really strange. I hope both of them are fine, but I guess they'll tell me when they are ready to tell me.

"I like Rose, Mommy do you like Rose?"

For some reason my son had taken to our neighbor Rose. She was pretty ambitious, she was an analyst at a bank and would come by with cookies from time to time. Was she attractive? Yes. But I'm a single mother, widower, running my own practice and raising two kids at the same time. I didn't have time for anything else.

"Sure, Rose is nice," I replied.

"You know what you do with nice people?"

"What is that?"

"You take them to the King's ball and then you have dinner and then you kiss them."

Wow, is that my son's idea of a date? "Hmm… Do you happen to know any Kings having a ball?"

"No, but I can look," he said as he clapped his hands, while Sofia looking at me with an expression that read 'Really Mom, this? Again?'

"Zozo, did you tell mom about that girl Jen you like?"

Enzo looked at her as if she had given away his biggest secret. We all knew about Jen but to my son, he thinks we can't see him crushing on this girl.

"Jen? You mean Jen from the park?" I played as the two of us teased him.

A/N: There you go! I went with Enzo because I'm a sucker for short names, it was a tie between Theo and Enzo and I picked the latter for obvious reasons!

Thank you for all the suggestions, I think I know enough about Spanish names and their meanings! For the middle name Creer is my top contender so far, I think it was suggested by smiley714 but I'm not too sure about it. Or going forward with it.

I'm pretty sure I don't have to tease the next chapter, but what do you think will happen in the next chapter? Initially, I was going to split this chapter into two. I think someone reviewed saying that they liked that this story was a bit fast paced. I like it too, so I decided to put both the parts here.

What do you think should happen in the next one? I haven't made up my mind about how I want to proceed or how I want them to meet and my drama filled mind is pushing for something chaotic, but I want your opinion.