Chapter 4
As promised Jackson entered the room early the next morning waking Callie up,
"I thought I'd give you a heads up, I've asked Derick to be here too" he didn't say it but Callie knew they were concerned about hypoxic brain injury a common side effect post respiratory arrest. Especially, as it was likely Arizona had been deprived of oxygen long before she stopped breathing. Although subsequent CT and MRI scans hadn't shown any damage it was only when Arizona woke up that they could be sure.
"Thanks" Callie sat up stretching, as Jackson used a scope to check the airway.
"It looks good, the swelling has fully gone down. I'm going to reduce the sedation now, see if she will start fighting the vent." Jackson said. Callie nodded gripping Arizona's hand. She knew it would take a few hours for Arizona to wake but she wanted to be there.
"I also brought you breakfast I didn't think you'd be going anywhere" he handed over a box of Danishes,
"Thank you" Callie took one, "Arizona would love this, there one of her favourite breakfasts after pancakes"
"I know, I always seem to be behind her in the coffee queue, and she always buys two. It's how I knew what to bring you"
"She always brought Danish if either of us were going to have a busy day," Callie recollected smiling.
"She'll be that person again," Jackson promised, "Give it time, have you set up counselling yet?" he asked
"Counselling for Arizona I thought I'd let her wake up first" Callie replied astounded, why would Jackson mention counselling before they even knew if she was brain damaged?
"No for you, you have been through a lot too. You need to speak to someone, someone who isn't invested in you and Arizona. You were in a crash, Arizona left and came back, your daughter almost died, her father did, your parents disowned you, your wife was in a plane crash and missing for 4 days, you had to decide whether to amputate her leg or to let her die, your apartment burnt down. Anyone of those is enough to send someone insane and you've dealt with all of them." Jackson listed, "I have a counsellor I see. She is really good and discrete, here is her number" he passed it over.
"I'll think about it" Callie replied truthfully, she fingered the number in her pocket, it would be nice to have somebody to talk to. Arizona should go to counselling too, maybe someone different. It could only help both of them to have a trustworthy person to talk too, after all Arizona had been right by her side throughout those traumatic events.
"I need to start rounds but I'll be back in a bit" Jackson promised leaving Callie alone with her thoughts, she took out her phone ringing the number making her first appointment for tomorrow. Jackson was right to look after Arizona and Sofia she needed to look after herself. Arizona would either wake up fine or she wouldn't either way Callie knew she needed to talk to someone.
April was the next to visit, disappointed Arizona was still asleep promising to return later, the pre rounds rush then turned into the pre surgery group coming to say hello. Meredith stopped by with Sofia and Zola before dropping them both to day care. Derick came with her but chose to sit in the room with Callie.
"When did they reduce the sedation?" he asked,
"About 3 hours ago" Callie checked the clock, "She should wake up soon"
"Sofia and Zola had fun last night going through the toys. I think Cristina brought them a mobile surgical lab" Derick got out his phone, both girls were stood in white coats, plastic stethoscopes around their necks and a plastic patella hammer in Sofia's hand, while Zola held a plastic syringe and needle. Behind Callie could see hundreds of plastic pieces of hospital kit. And even a large Wendy house that appeared to say hospital on top.
"Wow, she takes God mother very seriously" Callie remarked laughing, "Sofia looks so cute"
"Wait let me show you the video" Derick pressed play; Sofia toddled onto screen listening to Derick's knee with the stethoscope while Zola hit Meredith's toe with the end of the large fake needle repeatedly,
"I thought I'd play this when they become interns, and maybe residents" He joked.
"You have to send me that, Arizona would love it" Callie begged, as the vent began alarming. Despite expecting it Callie's heart sank, as the panic set in, something was wrong!
"It's good she is fighting the machine" Derick reassured, "Can you page Dr Avery and Dr Bailey please" he ordered the nurse that came to make sure everything was okay. She nodded leaving them alone.
"Come on Arizona" Callie urged, kissing her wife's forehead, "It's okay" she promised, "There was a fire, you have a tube don't fight it just open your eyes" she was rewarded as blue eyes greeted her,
"Derick she is awake" Callie cried, as Arizona's panicked blue eyes searched the room before settling on Callie,
"Arizona, you're okay," Derick reassured flashing the pen torch in her eyes watching as she winced trying to turn away.
"She's awake" Bailey joined them gently pushing Derick out the way. "Arizona keep calm, I'm going to remove the tube" she promised grabbing a syringe to deflate the bubble, easily removing it, Arizona coughing as it came out, deftly Derick suctioned out the secretions that had built up.
"Sofia?" Arizona asked, squeezing Callie's hand panicking slightly, why was Callie crying? Her voice came out quiet and raspy,
"Safe at day care" Callie promised the tears coming heavier now. Her wife was awake, and able to speak.
"Arizona do you know where you are?" Derick asked,
"Bed 5 ICU Settle Grace" Arizona rasped. All 3 doctors exchanged a look confused,
"How do you know its bed 5?" Bailey questioned, Arizona lifted her hand pointing to a crack in the ceiling paint,
"Cassiopeia" she whispered, and it did look like the star sign, a W on the ceiling, "Callie's room" she reminded them of the 6 weeks Callie had spent in the ICU post-accident.
"Well, her neuro checks out perfectly" Derick remarked, if she could remember that there was little worry about everything else.
Do you remember what happened?" Bailey asked as Jackson ran in,
"Fire, Callie saved Me" Arizona rasped squeezing Callie's hand, "Water" she begged, her throat feeling like she had swallowed sandpaper.
Jackson obliged grabbing the glass of water with straw from the bedside tablet.
"Small sips" he encouraged, Arizona did coughing slightly as the cool water soothed her abused throat.
"How is your pain?" Jackson asked
"Hurt leg" Arizona whispered her voice improving slightly after the water.
"You have severe burns to your right leg, I've cleaned them and debrided it," Jackson explained, Arizona shook her head
"No left"
An awkward look was exchanged between the attendings in the room, Callie took the lead
"Arizona, you remember you don't have a left leg?" she asked nervously, maybe the neuro check wasn't as good as they'd thought,
"I know, but it hurts" Arizona moaned,
"Can we get an icepack?" Callie asked, Bailey left the room, Derick and Jackson following to respect her privacy.
"Can I have a look?" Callie asked, Arizona nodded a light sheen of sweat on her face. Callie lifted the sheet to reveal the stump it was slightly inflamed. Callie carefully began massaging the area.
"Stop" Arizona said suddenly tensing, it was too much contact on her leg, Callie stopped immediately, the Ortho Doctor in her could feel a lump that needed massaging out, but Bailey was right, she wasn't here as the Ortho Doctor she was her wife.
"Sorry," Callie tucked the sheet back over her leg as Bailey returned with an ice pack, "Can I out this on?" She asked, Arizona nodded her consent closing her eyes in relief as the ice pack eased the pain falling back to sleep.
She next woke to see Callie and Sofia engaged in a book sitting at her bedside. This time the memories were clearer, plane crash begging Callie not to amputate her leg waking up to find she had, but now they were mixed with Callie desperately fighting to get to her, coming back into the flames for her, carrying her down flights of stairs. Risking her own life to save hers. It was confusing, she was convinced Callie hated her why else would she amputate? How could she remove her own wife's leg? Just the thought of lifting a scalpel to cut Callie made Arizona feel sick.
"Hey Sofia, look who's awake" Callie gently placed the toddler onto the bed Sofia crawled up,
"Mommy" she said giving Arizona a sloppy kiss.
"Sofia" Arizona cried hugging her baby close to her, they'd been lucky, she looked at Callie,
"She is okay, Alex kept her overnight for observation, but she is fine, not a single burn" Callie reassured,
"And you?" Arizona asked,
"Minor burns," Callie shrugged, they were painful, but nothing compared to the pain of nearly losing her wife. Arizona took her hand lifting her jumper finding the dressing, her heart sinking at the thought of Callie being hurt.
"I'm okay," Callie promised, watching as the tension eased from Arizona's face. "We were just reading cat in the hat if you wanted to listen" she offered. Arizona nodded; it was a small step but huge for the whole family.
Callie finished Cat in the hat,
"Another stowy Mamma" Sofia said sleepily from where she had cuddled into Arizona.
"Yes, Callie another story" Arizona joined in Sofia in yawning, Callie grinned, her family was back together. She began reading the tiger who came for tea, as she finished both girls were asleep. Carefully she extracted Sofia handing her over to Derick to take home for the night, again she planned to stay at the hospital with her wife.
She was checking Facebook when Arizona next stirred.
"Hey" Callie greeted
"Sofia?" Arizona questioned, looking around for her daughter
"Staying with Derick and Meredith, I warn you she loves it, playing with Zola all day and night, we might not get her back" Callie joked.
"How is the apartment?" Arizona asked,
"Gone, the fire chief reckons the whole building will have to be torn down." Callie revealed sadly. "We lost everything, there searching the building for anything that can be salvaged"
"Anyone else hurt?" Arizona asked concerned
"2 people died Mrs Kent and someone on the 2nd floor and one is missing"
"I keep our documents in a fireproof box. In the bottom of our wardrobe" Arizona revealed,
"Really" Callie replied surprised, she'd seen the box and even looked in and saw their passports and some photos but never really considered what it was.
"Dad got it for me, said I should be prepared for any occasion"
"I'll ask the fire chief to keep an eye out. Do you need anything?" she asked, Arizona hesitated not wanting to burden her wife with any demands.
"Anything Arizona just ask" Callie reassured at Arizona's pause,
"A milkshake, strawberry from the deli" Arizona said quickly. Her throat sore and the coldness of the milkshake would be perfect for soothing it.
"Done" Callie replied a strawberry milkshake was a small thing, she stood up checking her watch it closed in 30 minutes.
"You don't have to go now" Arizona said meekly
"My wife wants a milkshake, so a milkshake she will get." Callie left the room, taking a breath outside. It felt good to have her wife ask her for help even if it was just a milkshake. She was back 20 minutes later, with a strawberry milkshake and a chocolate for herself.
Arriving back in the room she wasn't surprised to see Arizona asleep, handing the milkshakes to a passing nurse she asked for them to be stored in the fridge ready for when Arizona woke up.
Despite the early hour Callie settled down on the pull-out bed getting some sleep herself.
Arizona woke first the next morning, hearing the comforting snores coming from her wife it was only hearing them she realised how much she had missed the snoring and just her wife in general. She was beautiful and loyal her dedication hadn't wavered even slightly despite everything. Yet she had cut off her leg, the stupid leg, the reason why she couldn't just be with her wife.
Callie woke to see Arizona smiling at her,
"Hey" she said sleepily, happy to see her wife first thing in the morning,
"Hey" Arizona smiled back,
"I got your milkshake, let me go and fetch it" Callie leaped out of the bed going to the fridge and retrieving the 2 milkshakes. Returning she passed the strawberry one to Arizona.
"It tastes better than I remember" Arizona whispered, "Thank you"
"Anything for you" Callie replied sipping her chocolate one.
"Where are we going to live?" Arizona asked suddenly.
"Well, I was thinking we buy a house, one floor, big garden for Sofia to run around in, nice fireplace for snuggling" Callie dreamed, Arizona smiled, she could live with that fantasy. "I have a counselling appointment today," She admitted awkwardly, "And I think you should see someone too" Callie finished, Arizona was silent, processing, she never thought her strong independent girlfriend would admit to needing help, but she was right, they did need professional help.
"I think your right" Arizona agreed, Callie breathed a sigh of relief she had expected a bigger battle to get her wife into counselling,
"Okay, then maybe we can start looking at houses, I know you won't be able to view them for a while but at least get an idea of what we can afford in different areas" Callie suggested nervously.
"I do love looking at houses," Arizona conceded, often on their days off they'd watch either cooking shows or house buying or renovation programmes.
"I know, I'll talk to a real estate agent," Callie promised, Jackson arrived,
"Sorry to interrupt I wanted to check on the burns" he said,
"Go ahead," Arizona lifted the cover off, revealing her stump and bandages. Jackson gently cut off the bandages, both Callie and Arizona watching with interest.
"Okay it doesn't need any more debridement, but we have 2 options, firstly and more traditionally is a skin graft, I'd take skin from your thigh and graft it onto your calf, alternatively, we let it heal naturally they'll be a much bigger scar and it will take a lot longer."
"How long?" Arizona asked
"With the skin graft 6-8 weeks, but we can get you home after 4 days, without I'd estimate you'd be in for a week and recovery could take as long as 3 months"
"When would you do the skin graft?" Arizona asked her mind made up,
"Tomorrow," Jackson checked his schedule, "I'd like to observe for one more night to make sure there is no infection and be absolutely certain there aren't anymore airway problems"
Arizona looked at Callie wanting her advice,
"I'll support you either way" Callie promised, wanting this to be her wife's decision.
"I want the graft," Arizona decided. "I want to get out of here sooner, to get better, start looking for houses."
"I'll get it booked" Jackson promised, walking out.
"Can you book a counsellor to here, I mean I want to start," Arizona asked nervously, Callie nodded
"Sure, I'm proud of you" Callie said squeezing her hand, before stepping outside to make a few calls, best to strike while the iron was hot. She spoke to the counsellor's office that Jackson had recommended finding it was a practice with multiple practitioners. She booked an Alison May for Arizona, after finding out she specialised in trauma, and a Ben Jackson for herself, he specialised in relationships. Arizona's appointment was for 3pm, her own at the same time also at the hospital. Apparently they kept the slot free for emergencies and today there were no emergenies leaving the slot empty. Stepping back into the room Arizona was already sleeping. Callie smiled; sleeping was the one time her wife appeared at peace. Wanting to spend more time with Arizona without fighting Callie sat in the visitors chair, asking a nurse to bring her charts.
It was a few hours later Arizona's breathing changed becoming faster with the occasional whimper. Callie not a stranger to Arizona having nightmare, they'd both had them after the car crash, put her charts down, taking her wife's hand.
"Arizona, wake up your safe" she said stroking her wife's arm, it didn't work as Arizona's whimpers became more frequent until she woke up sitting bolt up right groaning and moaning in pain as she clutched the bed where her leg would be.
"Agh" she screamed her hands moving from the empty space to the remainder of her leg,
"Easy" Callie warned, Arizona focused on her wife, sweat dripping down her face,
"Get out" she screamed, "Get out, you don't get to see this, you're the one who took my leg"
"Arizona" Callie protested,
"Get out" Arizona screamed again, a nurse ran in ushering Callie out.
"Easy Doctor Robbins" Callie heard the nurse say before the door closed, defeated Callie sat on the floor crying outside Arizona's room unable to see a future with her wife.
"Dr Torres, we spoke on the phone" A voice brought her out of her tears, "I'm Alison, I'm here for Arizona" Callie stood wiping her eyes slightly embarrassed.
"And I'm Ben, is there somewhere private we can talk?" he asked. Callie nodded, she led him out the ICU to her own office. That way there were guaranteed privacy.
Her session finished an hour later and feeling exhausted Callie went to day care needing to spend a little time clearing her head before going to see her wife.