I don't profit or own oregairu
Not to get full of myself, but I think I outdo myself every time I make myself dumbass and evade homework XD
Author comments at the end:
Hachiman POV:
"Yukino-chan?!"
You know, when it comes to the dreadful occurrence that is the appearance of Yukinoshita Haruno, I think I cracked the code, whenever there is some shy or meek physical contact between myself and her younger sister she is summoned and materializes.
Yukinoshita and I were barely touching on our fake date to the mall and she appeared, we clumsily bumped during that rustic ride during the cultural festival and she came later, now we're here, struggling with a bike ride in which I am hugging… myself, and alas, the demon comes when not called precisely.
The body I was embracing from the back tenses up and straightens its back as if the captain just addressed the sailor, right, this whole mess is so bizarre I have to be reminded that Yukinoshita is me and I'm Yukinoshita, we'll have to organize later on how the hell are we going to tackle this situation, I guess I have to improvise now.
"Nee-san" I say hesitantly, I vaguely remember Yukinoshita calls Haruno like this, thank Hachiman that Komachi isn't a Yukinoshita, judging by her cute little name she gave her, or me in this case she would call the beast 'Harunee-chan' or something like that.
Haruno is still eyeing us curiously as if we were an hallucination of her mischievous brain, I mean, who wouldn't. From everyone's perspective, probably except for Komachi and Hiratsuka-sensei, we are mutually exclusive. I myself wouldn't see this coming even if it was opposite day, but I gotta say…
'How distasteful Hikigaya-kun, you are very important to me… even if I don't show it.'
… Balls.
Yukinoshita saying that in any other scenario would probably lead me to believe she was particularly bored that day and decided her usual insults and teasing wouldn't suffice, but of course, a crying Yukinoshita demanding an explanation for some stupid shit I did is also not a regular wednesday thing.
"I gotta say Yukino-chan, I didn't think this would happen for at least some months down the road, I'm impressed hum hum" she says chirpily and then huffs in some odd satisfaction
We just sit awkwardly as I remove my arms from Yukinoshita, as we're actually being seen by a third party, whatever dumb thing I say or do will affect Yukinoshita, I have to be sensible.
"Oh my, how cute! You're both so awkward and annoyed!-" she starts laughing at us "-ahhh, I also must say Hikigaya-kun, I pegged you to kick the can down the street indefinitely until you couldn't keep evading it eventually."
"Uhhh, I-yeah" Yukinoshita mutters, I don't know if she's nervous or in character, but she's doing her part, I see myself letting out those exact sounds, heh
"I guess I owe you a tea outing then, care to join me?" I freeze, I mean literally, the offer took Yukinoshita by surprise, it looks like I just spotted an angry Hiratsuka approaching. Guess it's up to me.
"I'm sorry Nee-san, but the tea I can prepare Hikigaya-kun is most likely of far superior quality than some processed and bottled excuse for a fine tea, and most importantly we have to attend classes, so your offer will have to be postponed."
Welp, there goes being sensible for her sake. At least she caught onto my characterized evasion maneuvers, she grunts a little bit and starts pedaling again, we leave Haruno behind and an amused "Hoh?" can be heard before we're completely on our own again.
…
"Ara. One day of truthful interactions and you're already marking territory? Yuki-possessive-san"
Ugh, Yukinoshita's teasing isn't created or destroyed, it just transforms itself.
"I took one for the team, leave me alone."
"Hmmm"
"What?"
"I just found it strange" she says with a lively tone for the voice she's currently user of
"And why is that?"
"You regularly take one for the team as you describe it, but this time felt different"
"Well no brainer, to the world technically it was you who did it, so much for not wanting harm to come to you…" my mood drops "I-I'm sorry Yukinoshita, I know I promised yesterday but I-"
My right hand presses the bicycle brake and my foot drops to slow our ride, but Yukinoshita turns around to face me.
"Hikigaya-kun"
"I thought I was Yukinoshita now"
"Let me finish."
I face my own tired eyes, now filled with the icy confidence that usually means incoming insults.
"Hikigaya-kun, I am not going to lie to you, one part of me is disquieted at myself that I let you take care of things for me, particularly with something as big as nee-san. But I also didn't lie yesterday, when you asked me what I wanted I weighed the things that occupy space in my head, feeding nee-san and my family everything peeled and in their mouths was not what I landed on."
This girl… I feel myself blush aggressively, it'd be nice to have a mirror and enjoy the view of it, but now I am listening to something that pushed me harder than Hayama on the rooftop.
"Plus, you single handedly came up with a particularly effective way of shooing Nee-san away, but as you know. I detest losing, I will not stay put, whenever's the next pickle we find ourselves in I'll handle it better." She says with a mild smile
Goddamn it Yukinoshita, the only thing that prevents me from ascending to the heavenly realm is that my voice sounds groggy and creepy.
I cough to move on "We're almost there, I'll get off while you put my bike on the rack"
"Suit yourself"
…
Since we arrived somewhat early despite Yukinoshita's lacking of stamina which I personally endured, not many eyebrows were raised at us walking together in the morning, I suggested we head to the vending machines.
"What did you write in your last essay for Japanese?" she asks
"Oi, I agreed to you trying to understand me, but I don't have photographic memory, you'll have a better shot at understanding if you talk with me, so come." I say while putting two coins in the machines for two canned hyperboreas.
"Well, I'll take on your offer, but I was practicing your roundabout speech just now, long story short, Hiratsuka-sensei is waiting for you, and I'm not about to be hit again in your place."
Ah shit, the autonomy essay, I think Yukinoshita would force me to hit my face too if she read it.
"Just say you had something urgent with me, me as in this appearance, now that I'm physically club president I can back you up."
"I suppose."
"And what do you mean by again? You never even defend me from Yuigahama's milder insults, I find it hard to believe you took a punch for me" I say
"I met your mother this morning."
Oh.
Oh gods, no.
"w-what?"
"Yes, it was an interesting conversation about your usual attitude and posture."
The Yukinoshita pack of actions and commands to execute by her nervous system must be installing already, because the thought of Yukinoshita meeting my mom brings both of my hands to my temples.
"Again, not the way I imagined you meeting my parents would go, at least this one was not completely spoiled." I almost pout until I notice my face going as red as the ribbons I'm wearing.
"Hm? what 's with you?" I ask Yukinoshita now that I notice my ears are also going red
"Y-you were already thinking of that?"
Ah shit, I walked straight onto that one, now I'm also going full blushing maiden, on her face.
After some more banter with some creative ways of her to think of insults now that she's essentially trashing herself we decide to throw the MAX cans and head to class, I suggested that I should take a headstart if we're committing to the character, she's the most punctual of the two of us anyways.
I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice that those who were already in the classroom, which was more than half of my classmates, were dead silent.
So Totsuka isn't here yet, shame.
Two minutes in I started getting self conscious at the silence when it hit me.
Fuck
What I didn't notice is that my own pack of actions and commands didn't uninstall itself, I idiotically went my merry way through the same path I follow every day, which means I walked straight onto 2-F homeroom.
I, perceived as Yukinoshita Yukino, THE Yukinoshita Yukino just waltzed inside 2-F and headed straight to Hikigaya Hachiman 's seat. Brilliant.
I immediately picked up my bag and turned to the door when I noticed a very annoyed me peeking through the door, thank the heavens that all the normies were ogling me to notice me in the door.
"You idiot, the same thing happened to me, but unlike a mind so unevolved such as yours I could actually notice I was heading to the wrong classroom." She hisses in a low volume so only we could hear the scene of Hikigaya berating Yukinoshita.
"Heh, I'm honestly surprised you managed to find 2-F with that sense of direction of your-" Holy shit, she managed to master my anti-normie glare in less than a day, you really are incredible Yukinoshita.
"Sorry , it takes time to adjust." I whisper back
It's in our best interest to not make a scene, so I decided to take my leave, but of course, the gods need to entertain themselves.
"Yukinon? Hikki? What are you guys doing?"
"!"
"!"
Yukino POV:
Sigh
First Nee-san and now Yuigahama-san, if every morning was as regretfully eventful as this one I would most likely look as dead as the face I'm currently behind.
"Y-Yuigahama-san" Hikigaya-kun mutters, wait.
Does he remember my speech pattern better than I remember his? He also addressed Nee-san in an overly pretentious way he associates with me, and here I embarrassed myself earlier on the phone with Yuigahama-san and Hiratsuka-sensei.
He continues "We… I forgot something in the clubroom yesterday, and umm… I came here to retrieve it from Hikigaya-kun."
He pushes the problem onto me I see, well I did say I was going to get us out of the pickle next time.
ahem "That's why I called you in the morning Yuigahama, I needed Yukinoshita's number to coordinate today, we have to go see Hiratsuka, something about the club before I was a member."
Vague and disinterested but it should be enough to build my way to a solid deceivement on the march, I feel extremely hypocritical for lashing at Hikigaya-kun for using excuses and not being honest and then proceeding to do this, but to be fair with us, we didn't expect this situation.
I told Hikigaya-kun that I don't lie, and technically I am Hikigaya-kun now, so my streak is protected.
"Oh, can I come with?"
"Yuigahama look at me, I'm wearing a tie. if it wasn't some boring bureaucratic nonsense I was forced into I wouldn't be going, we'll finish soon enough."
"But if it's club stuff shouldn't I also be called?" How odd, Yuigahama-san usually doesn't think much into what we say, but I reckon just one little push is needed with Hikigaya-kun's lackadaisical demeanor.
"Yuigahama, you joined the service club with some doodles on a notebook page, I was forced into joining by Hiratsuka-sensei, you know she just wants me to suffer through paperwork and official tomfoolery with the school staff, go have lunch with Miura or something."
"Mou Hikki!" Yuigahama-san huffs in frustration
"You won't get hit Hikigaya-kun, you can count on my protection today for that." Hikigaya-kun closes the conversation by reentering it.
"That's good to hear."
"Meet me outside the faculty building at lunch?"
"Sure"
"Alright, I suppose I will see you later, have a nice day Hikigaya-kun" He says while sporting a discreet blush and waving a half open hand to me, reminiscent of my timid farewells after the festival committee meetings
"You too Yukinoshita." I show my open palm as goodbye and he turns my back to me and trails off towards the 2-J classroom.
As I turn and head inside Yuigahama-san is pouting, I'll let Hikigaya-kun deal with it later on.
I enter and make my way towards Hikigaya-kun's seat. I can notice his classmates gossiping and spouting indecencies about his person and mine. Some of the girls are paying…close attention to me? His mother and Komachi-san immediately noticed I was not acting like a corpse this morning, is it really that big of a deal to see Hikigaya-kun with a buttoned shirt and slightly less slouched?
So much for the great Hikigaya Hachiman, whom according to himself nobody notices nor knows of his existence, what a dense boy.
As I put his things on his seat I feel a pair of eyes on me when I notice a girl observing me thoroughly and concealing it poorly.
I don't think Hikigaya-kun would engage in conversation, his survival instincts would tell him that this girl would be grossed out if he were to speak to her, and she would only do so rightfully if Hikigaya-kun smiles, otherwise the girl is stupid. But I can't permit Hikigaya-kun or Yuigahama-san to know I thought that, again, fingers crossed that what happens in Hikigaya-kun's head stays in Hikigaya-kun's head.
And to be honest, I'm uncomfortable, for some reason I feel the same sensation as when I get ogled in my own body, I wonder… no, it can't be.
I suppose I will read a little to get rid of the sensation, as soon as she sees me fetch a book from my bag she should get the message through- what the hell?
Loner life in another world by Shoji Goji
Of course, Hikigaya-kun's trashy literature picks, it couldn't be any other way, and why does the character in the cover resemble Hikigaya-kun so much? The same eyes, the same hair…
I have several questions, mostly regarding Zaitsu-kun's involvement in the "book" I'm holding in my hand and if Hikigaya-kun is a self-inserted anonymous author that goes by the name of Shoji Goji.
Well I truly wish Hikigaya-kun has fun reading 'Like water for chocolate' by Laura Esquivel or 'The Setting Sun' by Osamu Dazai, unlike my inconsiderate clubmate I actually prepare myself for contingencies like this.
"Ano.."
Huh?
"...Hikitani-kun is it?"
The girl is talking to me, unbelievable.
Exactly one day after I let myself open up to him and now the female populace decides to notice how handsome he is- I thought nothing. Nothing of the sorts was suggested across my subconsciousness. Shut up.
Ah curse everything, the girl will assume my increasing blush comes from being addressed by a girl, not that it would surprise someone, I fear for my chastity with him and his lecherous stare.
ahem "It 's Hikigaya." I deviate my gaze to the wall again to make clear that I don't want to talk.
"Hikigaya-kun, I don't think we ever introduced to one another, I'm Nagasuke, Nagasuke Kazumi"
Why… why does she introduce herself in british spy style?
"I see, nice to meet you Nagasuke-san." I say in the most neutral diplomatic tone I can bring Hikigaya-kun's mouth to say and then look away to see if I can finally be left alone
"Hmmmph" I can hear Yuigahama-san's prolonged groan and pout combination, and something rather disturbing said by Ebina-san about me, 'Hikitani-kun' acting more feminine to be Hayama-kun's bottom. I think I need to clean my ears with bleach now.
Well, now that we're stuck in this situation I might as well help Hikigaya-kun increase his academic mark… I swear to every known deity, if that idiot brings my grades down I will have to understand Hiratsuka-sensei's ways instead and make him pay with genuine pain.
Ah, recess hour, at last.
"Totsuka, sorry to be a bother, but I'm gonna need you to save me as we talked about earlier."
"Sure thing, but Hachiman!" He replies rather excitedly
"w-what is it?"
"You have to promise me that you'll play tennis with me again!"
"Heh, sure Totsuka."
"If you want you can also bring Yukinoshita-san!"
damn it Totsuka-san, don't make me blush, any more pouting from Yuigahama-san and she'll have a permanent chipmunk look
"I-we'll see."
After that brief negotiation we both head towards faculty, Totsuka-san at the vanguard to excuse Hikigaya-kun with some believable alibi, and well my alibi is me.
That's when I spot myself, in the Sobu gray sweater, arms crossed leaning against a wall and with eyes closed, somehow the ahoge I myself have seems more prominent now that Hikigaya-kun is the occupant of my body. It might be a psychological tease given how I sometimes get the urge to tuck his very own ahoge, a purgatory if you will.
"ehem"
Hikigaya-kun opens my eyes, blinks a few times and then finally addresses me, as if I was one more tiresome thing to do in the morning.
But his regular 'yo' doesn't arrive, instead he SMILES to me?
"Ara, who would think the great Yukinoshita Yukino could construct such a good bullshit, I thought you never lie, but to be fair your objective didn't have the proper stats to see through it, you still have much to learn my dear Yukinoshita."
Never mind, it was the same teasing grin I usually show him at the clubroom
"Please abstain from running your foul language through my vocal cords Hikigaya-kun speaking of which, it was your vocal cords where the lie came from, moreover I'm still clean Yuki-perjurer-san"
He scoffed and I continue my attack
"And why is it that I'm currently only wearing my sweater above my shirt Hikigaya-kun? were you so adamant on undressing me with your gaze that you took it into your own hands? Hiki-pervert-kun?"
"Oi, you had already switched name calling, don't revert back woman. I was just hot, I felt like I could lose the blazer and head to my spot to catch some wind, come with me?"
Despite my occupation of Hikigaya-kun's voice I giggle somewhat girlishly, which flusters and embarasses us both.
"Alright, let's go."
…
"So, how was your day so far?"
Am I actually dreaming all of this? I thought that Hikigaya-kun's mother whacking me was the proof of it all being real, but Hikigaya-kun displaying social competence and kindness might be the last straw, this is a very elaborate fantasy.
"Hmmm why do you ask?"
"Well. Before the obligated and shallow 'how was yours' or sarcastical jab implying you weren't even going to ask about mine, my morning was shitty. So I figured I'd ask you how you like the paramo that is 2-F"
That's more like him, I can't conceal my grin.
"I'm not sure, what is the affair between you and Nagasuke-san?"
He raises my brow "who?"
As expected.
"Nagazuke Kazumi, the girl that sits to your left."
"Oh, her. Well she seems to find me creepy? I guess"
"That's a given reaction to encountering a Hikigerm, but do tell what you base your assessment in."
"Every time we have to do some english pronunciation exercises the teacher insists on doing it on a buddy system with someone besides you, and since the first time she said something like 'we don't actually have to do it together right?' So ever since the first exercise we don't talk. sometimes she spares me a disgusted stare."
While this information is to be expected given Hikigaya-kun's attitude towards his peers, and I'd be withstanding some double standards given how much I enjoy to poke fun at Hikigaya-kun it also bitters me to hear this, that girl didn't even give Hikigaya-kun a chance, she just outright pushed him away.
And I'm not about to deny there has been one too many occasions that made me wish Hikigaya-kun stayed at least three prefectures away from me, slowly I have been growing to cherish the time we spend together. I first started noticing I felt so comfortable and in synchrony with him when he took distance from me after summer camp.
But the fiasco in Kyoto made it crystal clear, his company is precious to me, and I need to comprehend why.
Why did he do that? He was the first to condemn falsehoods and stagnation, yet he employed such damaging utilitarianism to himself for the fake happiness of people who couldn't give him the time of the day. I cannot comprehend the end goal that required such means.
"Hachiman"
Physically it was me who spit out the tea, but I can see why Hikigaya-kun was caught so off guard, this comes pretty much out of nowhere, ever since we arrived to his designated 'loner spot' we just had some bickering over him purchasing MAX coffee or a bottled tea, given that it's my figure he has to take care of now. We talked about Nagasuke-san that led my train of thought to a dark place again, but I need to know. We cannot be free and genuine if we are kept in the dark.
"Y-Yukinoshita? what 's wrong?" He looks concerned, I agree with his earlier complaints, this is by no means a sweet setting to call him by his given name, for the first Time, but this is ideal, I need to speak directly to him in order to understand.
"Can we please resume the discussion we were having in the clubroom yesterday?" I say with a strained mood
"I thought you forgave me, I already acknowledged it was a mistake."
"I can't understand you just by forgetting Hikigaya-kun… please."
I raise my stare to meet my blue eyes, looking back at me with a serious expression, then he diverts his attention forward, takes a sip from his tea, and sighs
"Well that's fair, knowing and understanding aren't the same thing."
"I concur."
"Yuigahama said something interesting immediately after my performance"- I look at me speaking without meeting my gaze, still observing the horizon with the bottle in front of my lips "-'How come you're so smart but can't understand something so simple?'"
"Can you elaborate on your interpretation of her words?"
"Logically I could still defend my actions, the situation was set to leave us with only my nuclear option, and I acted out accordingly. But there also wasn't any logic to point out the consequences of it would be positive.
Ebina wanted to remain hidden, Hayama and Miura wanted to preserve some totem of youthful memories tainted with the hard reality that none of it is real, no matter how hard they deny it. And three factors made me regret it afterwards."
"Which are?" I ask with peaked curiosity but also some odd expectations welling up on my chest
"Yuigahama's question made me rethink what I just did and it hit me that I acted exactly the same as Hayama, Miura and Ebina, out of their entire group that dumbass Tobe was probably the most genuine out of them all, and I blocked him from facing the truth, essentially rendering me a hypocrite.
Komachi's anger fished me out of my prideful shell and made me realize I was a dickhead."
He grins before saying the last part and finally facing me
"And I currently look like the third and most decisive factor." Of course, I cannot stop Hikigaya-kun's face from going burgundy red from his words covered by my voice.
"W-what do you mean? How did I influence it?"
"Well, to be honest, what you said in the bamboo forest before going back to the hotel felt like a kick in the balls, I don't lie to you when I say MAX coffee tasted bitter the days before our confrontation.
And here it comes with a syncretic thought process with the previous factors, Komachi pulling my head out of my ass and Yuigahama berating me for not getting it, seeing you sulk and close off made me fear it would snowball into a mess that would permanently tear us apart.
So I headed to the clubroom to discuss it with you, and your reaction was the finishing blow to my retarded move."
He locks gazes with me
"I don't want to lose you Yukinoshita, you asking me to resign from the club made me picture a timer of milliseconds running out in my head, if I didn't step up then, I never would have, and that wasn't an option, it isn't."
.
.
.
As he returns to his drink I can see he's doing a poor job at hiding his embarrassment, since my ears are going red, and he's desperately trying to cover my quivering lower lip with the bottle.
"Hikigaya-kun, now listen to me please-" I was left speechless at first, but I can feel a periplus of emotions traveling across my mind, as they say colloquially, it takes two to tango.
"I was hurt, very hurt with your actions, like I said back at the forest, it was frustrating to not know why, which was why I was so shocked when you flipped the cards and asked me what I wanted.
I wanted and still want to understand the emotions I don't quite take on board, the prospect of you leaving my life felt like a venomous dagger piercing me, which is strange in itself. You are stubborn, embrace weakness as virtue, and are overall creepy and annoying. But you are very special, you flipped my views upside down and flipped them back again.
By observing you I saw the dangers and fruits of selfishness and selflessness, of truth and lie. You turned yourself into the villain when pursuing something honest, yet you disappointed me greatly when you turned yourself into a hero for a group of people who were ironically wearing masks while soliciting aid.
I think I can discern that I was partly disappointed because I saw you hurting yourself and could only observe in impotence, but that discomfort meant that you had somehow become important for me, as I said before, even if I don't show it. I had placed expectations on you Hikigaya-kun, watching you betray them felt… fucking horrible."
He raises his eyebrows at what I just said, and not just the profanity.
"However, however Hikigaya-kun, I don't regret for one second placing expectations on you, real expectations, in your words, genuine expectations. and once again, against all odds and misconceptions, you came back and underhandedly did amazing things, who else if not you Hikigaya-kun." I say this with his voice breaking a little bit, and my eyes tearing a little bit.
"I-"
"I…"
"Hikigaya-kun. I like you."
I have no time to react nor let the embarrassment catch up with me when my own arms wrap themselves around me in a Blitzkrieg assault, and even though the tears are coming from my eyes, it is Hikigaya Hachiman the one who is shedding diamond tears, he is the one hugging me.
"Yukino..sob…I like you too, so, so damn much."
After some minutes of us turning into a joint sobbing mess, and the warmest hug I have ever partaken in my life we decided it was wise to physically separate, despite neither of us wanting to let go, we are on open space in school, no matter how much of a loner this spot is.
Do I understand now? No, not at all, I haven't even started exploring the library ahead.
Is this genuine yet? I don't think so, not yet at least, we have a long way until we can live in a world where we have broken down each other's walls, but I can say this bond, as tangible and bittersweet as it may be, it's a beautiful bond.
We are both socially inept, we get flustered easily, and despite being eloquent and having a good way with words we turn into stuttering idiots as soon as we're embarrassed, yet I can ask myself
What will the words ever be? Can they be the farthest from 'probably'? I don't want this to depend on a request, I want it to be a promise that will never fade.
We are on our way to understanding something genuine, Hachiman
Hachiman POV:
After we anticlimactically tried to overcome tenth degree embarrassment with trying small talk and failing miserably we decided that we can't run from this, we can't proclaim all this and heaven too and then larp as normies in the Hayama Legion by covering it with shallow words, that's not authentic at all.
Although, also ironic that we are forced to larp as the other in this bizarre phenomenon, so bizarre that it somehow resulted in the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
What a girl Yukinoshita Yukino is.
…
"There you are!" A shiver runs down my spine, and I can tell Yukino felt it too, it means danger is approaching fast.
"Emergency club meeting my ass! I precisely came looking for Yukinoshita to disprove you and sentence you to an ass whooping you won't forget, and whad'ya know? Not only did you send Totsuka to half ass an alibi, the girl in question is here with you! You messed up big time Hikigaya."
As I observed Hiratsuka-sensei's whack of Justice close in fast to my head, Yukino looked in horror as she resigned herself to a second whack today, allow me to intervene and give sensei a heart attack.
"huh?"
"Hik-Yukinoshita?" they both stare dumbfounded as I am grabbing Sensei's hand just barely stopping it from striking my cowlick and craneum.
"My apologies Sensei, but I am obliged to inform you Hikigaya-kun's pitiful excuse is not that pitiful after all, in fact it was true, we did have something urgent to take care of regarding the service club."
"Is that so? then where is Yuigahama?"
"Errr-" wait shit, get on character damn it "ehem, that remains to be taken care of, but for the time being, I sincerely ask of you to not hurt my p-partner."
Sensei's face is losing its colors in real time, let me seal the deal Yukinoshita style
"Moreover, Hikigaya-kun is prone to committing outrageous acts, I will not stop you should he do so again. In fact, I will personally take care of it."
"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Hiratsuka-sensei is still dealing with the immediate shock. Come on… is it that outlandish that I can receive affection?
Actually, yeah, I see Sensei's point and she hasn't said anything yet.
"IT WAS REAL?! That's why you asked for her number in the morning?" she addresses what she thinks is me and Yukino shrugs
"Holy shit Hikigaya… you got taken before me… YOU GOT TAKEN BEFORE ME DAMN IT! HIKIGAYA OF ALL PEOPLE!"
"Sensei, calm down, I know it's farfetched, no, totally unexpected and a full twist of events-" hey… I thought you liked me "-but it's real, and goddamn it's incredible, the meaning of unbelievable."
Goddamn it woman, don't scare me like that, also don't overdo it, there's only so much blood that can rush to my face.
"Nope, that won't do, you two are coming with me." She grabs both of our wrists, is she going to punish us out of spite?!
"W-where are we going?" Yukino asks
"Relax Hikigaya, I'm not breaking you apart, we're going for Ramen."
"What, now? Sensei, the lunch period will be over in about 4 minutes."
"Irrelevant Yukinoshita, this is official club business and no protest or appeal will be considered, I know you guys didn't eat for the sake of going all out disgustingly romantic, so we're heading to a ramen joint."
"This is tyranny"
"This is tyranny" we say at the same time as we're being dragged to the staff parking lot to get inside Hiratsuka-sensei's Aston Martin.
"Indeed, so suck it up brats."
...
"What will you be having miss?" The ramen chef asks me a paramount question, technically I can withstand a good old Tonkotsu bowl since it's me, but Yukinoshita nearly imploded a week ago by trying a shoyu miso bowl, and I'm in charge of her stomach now.
She gives me permission with her eyes and so I order a small Tonkotsu bowl with no extra anything, normally this would be heretic behavior, but if I had to go through Yukino's atrocious physical condition this morning, it also means I get full easier, so no sweat basically.
Hiratsuka-sensei orders a large tonkotsu bowl with an extra egg and habanero seaweed, while Yukino orders a medium of maze soba, much to the suspicion of Hiratsuka who is well acquainted with my tastes as we're technically part time connoisseurs.
"So, we have to discuss something brats."
"What would that be, Sensei?"
"I hereby declare the Service club battle royale finished!"
How about that? Rushed? perhaps a little, but we're so not finished. As we all now, our favorite literary fish eyed mate tends to overthink a lot, and he hasn't done so yet, the Goddess is nowhere to be seen and Sensei has something to say, so I can juice at least two more chapters.
On a sidenote, the filter fucking sucks, the one HachiYuki fic that had to be left out of the search had to be mine, of course. Entering annoying plastic influencer territory: consider liking and following my shit so it doesn't die, with the filter search against it it's more likely to be ignored.
Until next time, update on battle station should be published soon, I got reviews about that story being way too rushed considering it starts from Volume 1, so next chapter is going bulky.