CH 41
*** Lena's narrative (voice-over) ***
We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things, out of reach. And, when we get it, when our prayer is answered with something even more wonderful than what we asked for, we wish to keep it forever. We wish because we're scared to lose it, we know we might be asking too much and yet, we can't stop ourselves from wishing for nothing to change, to keep our world as it is, but no matter how much you try to avoid it, to stop it, sooner or later, destiny always catches you and nothing stays still forever…
"Get out of my house! GET OUT!"
Lena angrily says to the man who magically appeared in the middle of their living room. Kara recognizes him as the monitor and like any other person looking for the super, he's not playing a visit without a reason. He's there, announcing the imminent crisis, which risks destroying their world, their Universe as they know it.
The blonde pays attention to what is to come while all Lena can do is to think about their kids who're happily sleeping, ignoring the danger that's coming.
"Hope…"
The raven-haired woman mumbles the name of the little new addition to the family. A little baby, who's peacefully sleeping in the big bed of the couple. Little Hope doesn't like to sleep in her crib alone, too cold for her taste. She prefers to be alongside her mothers, something Lena loves because it's warm and cozy. It's where she belongs, where they should be right now but…
"Kara, you must come with me, it's time to get ready for the final battle…"
Lena hears the calling, she sees how Kara turns around, looking for her approval and yet, all she can focus on right now, it's in the baby monitor she has in her hand. The video of the baby who's turning around in bed, looking for the warmth of her mothers, who are not there to keep her company, like other nights.
"Lena…"
She hears her name but her eyes are still glued to the baby monitor showing a crying Hope. The baby woke up when she didn't find the warmth of their bodies. So many decisions to take right now, so many things to think and yet, all Lena can do right now, it's running towards the crying baby who's desperate to feel her close.
"Lena!"
She has never walked away from a fight, from anything in her life. And, Lena can understand why her actions might look like she's avoiding the situation, but she's not, she's just choosing what is really important for her, what really gives her…
"Hope…"
The baby calms down and curls above Lena's chest. Holding her in her arms, hearing how she falls asleep, how her little heart beats is all Lena wants to think about, but…
"Lena, we need to talk… I…"
"I used to wonder if she's gonna have blue eyes or green or maybe a mix of both? It's too soon to say…"
"Lena…"
"And, now I'm starting to wonder if we will even be able to find it out…"
Kara gulps hard, she knows the new threat is bigger than what they have faced before, it's scary, so damn real and final that she understands why Lena is freaking out but they cannot lose hope. They will not lose Hope is what the blonde says to herself while she sees the sleeping baby in the arms of her beloved.
And, like the paragon of Hope she's supposed to be, the blonde is more than ready to give a hopeful speech, but Lena is not ready to hear it, her mind is occupied thinking about the possible outcomes of this new crisis. Last time, she lost Kara, will she lose her again? Will they lose everything? Even Hope…?
"Lena…"
Kara calls her name and Lena is finally able to get out of her dark thoughts, she should feel relieved, but she can't, especially when she's faced to a determined blonde who's more than ready to be a hero, once again.
"Kara, you promised…"
"I know, but…"
"No buts, Kara! You're no longer Supergirl! You're no longer a hero! You… you shouldn't be asked to risk your life again!"
"Lee! Please, do not raise your voice! You'll scare Hope and wake her up…"
Too late for that, the baby is already crying and looking grumpy. And, Kara knows what might calm down the grumpy baby, that's why she takes the baby from Lena and starts breastfeeding her.
"It works like a charm every single time, she's definitely my kid…"
Kara says with a smile, looking at the calm baby who's once again falling asleep while still sucking all the milk she can get from her mother. And, the scene between the two of them is beautiful to watch, it's one of the things Lena loves the most in her daily life. But, the dear Luthor cannot enjoy the moment, not now, when rage, frustration, anger, a feeling of nausea spreads all over her body, forcing Lena to twist in pain.
"Lena, are you okay?"
"Of course I'm not okay, Kara! We just got Hope! We've just welcomed this beautiful baby to a world that's going to be destroyed! How am I supposed to be okay?"
The raven-haired woman says with tears in her eyes. She's fearing the worst and Kara too, that's why Supergirl must come back and fight once again.
"She's done eating and already sleeping, you can take it now…"
"Kara, please, don't do this…"
The blonde puts the little baby in Lena's arms with so much gentleness, softly stroking the little hair she has before kissing her little head.
"Kara…."
"I love this baby so much, I love you so much Lena. You and the kids mean so much to me, that's why I've to break the promise I made with you and put on the cape, again. We both know this is my destiny"
"Your destiny is to stay with us, to love us, Kara"
The blonde smiles and she cannot deny that sometimes she feels she exists just to love this amazing woman and wonderful family they created. But, the truth is that Lena is not the only reason for her existence.
"The monitor, he's the one who guided me here, to you, when I was running in the speed force. He's the reason why I'm here when the other Kara died, Lee. And, he did it to ensure that Supergirl was there to fight the next crisis"
"WHY?! Why you?! Why has it always been you?! There are other heroes too"
"And, they are in this too. She's not doing this alone, Ms. Luthor"
The monitor approaches them and tries to explain the role of the paragons. That's how they find out that J'onn is also part of the main team, just like Barry, Batwoman, Oliver and Sara. It's a strong team, but a strong team doesn't mean you'll always win and deep down, Lena cannot shake away this sick feeling of defeat. She grips on the baby she has in her arms, trying to focus only on the baby because it doesn't matter how she might feel about this situation, the plan is already in motion and all they can do, it's to roll with it.
"Supergirl, we must leave, now…"
Kara nods, but she doesn't like the idea of leaving Lena like this. Angry, scared, uneasy. She doesn't know what might be the wise words to reassure her, but at least, she can say…
"I'll find my way back to you, Lena. I promise…"
Lena shakes her head, she hates good-byes and she's already crying when Kara holds her in a big hug. She's grateful the kids are asleep and they cannot see her crying face. She's trying to keep it together, but she cannot, especially when the monitor announces that Lex is alive as a part of the plan to save the multiverse.
"How dare you to undo what I did?! I killed him for a reason! To keep my world safe!"
"And, how can you believe that killing someone is for the greatest good?"
"He has a point, Lee…"
Lena rolls her eyes when Kara takes the monitor' side. She can understand that killing is not part of Kara's code of conduct. But, regardless of how this might make Kara feel about her, she doesn't regret it, killing Lex is one of the few things she doesn't regret and she will definitely not regret doing it again.
"Where is he?"
"Why do you want me to tell you? So, you can kill him again?"
"What? Non, Lena wouldn't…"
"Yes! I'll kill him and this time, I'll make sure you don't bring him back to life"
Kara drops her mouth open when Lena shows no hesitation on her intentions. Her eyes got bigger from shock and then, a big feeling of sadness spread all over her chest because…
"Non, Lee! You cannot speak like that! You're not a killer! You're not like him!"
Lena wants to plead her case, but when she looks at the sad look of the blonde, she understands that saying nothing might be the wisest thing to do, right now.
"Let's not argue or Hope will wake up again"
Kara nods, she will drop the subject for now. Once again, they leave little Hope sleeping in their big bed, putting lots of pillows around, hoping this time, it will be enough to keep her calm and asleep while they continue this conversation back to the living room.
Once they're back in the living room, Lena doesn't waste any time to speak her mind. Years of practice on leading a multinational company have given her enough skills to destroy men with nothing more than words. But, no matter how terrifying Lena Luthor might be, the monitor doesn't show any regret in giving Lex a second chance in life. He cannot stop saying that Lex is a main key to this crisis and Lena is not sure who she wants to kill now more, Lex or him.
"Ms Luthor, I don't expect you to understand my actions. But, believe me when I say that Lex is needed to achieve our goal to save us all"
"You must be insane if you believe that bastard will help!"
She knows him too well, Lex is not a team player and the idea that he and Kara might work together, it makes her sick.
"Darling, you cannot trust Lex"
"Lena, he…"
"He will not hesitate to stab all of you in the back, the moment he gets a chance, so please, promise me, no matter what this monitor says, promise me you'll keep your distance from him and do not put your guard down when he's around, okay?"
"Okay, I'll promise it if you promise me you'll not try to kill him again"
"Kara, you cannot ask me that!"
"Yes, I can! Because you're good, Lee! And, I'll not let Lex take anything else from you, from us. He will not be the reason you become a murderer"
Lena understands Kara's feelings and she might not be 100% sure she will not try to kill her brother again, but she promises that at least for now, she will leave him alone. They seal the promise with a tender kiss. It calms Lena's heart for a brief moment, till she has to watch the love of her life leave once again, in order to save the world, their world.
Alone in the house, at night, she should get back to bed but she can't. She cannot sleep while the gears of her brain don't stop turning because no matter what the monitor says, this plan sucks. Any plan which might involve Lex, it's not good and that's the main reason why she stays the rest of the night, looking into her mother's spell book.
"Mommy, I'm hungry…"
Asks a little Clarke, who just woke up. It's at this moment when Lena realizes she didn't sleep at all. She's tired, she's scared, she…
"Mommy?"
She needs to focus on what really matters to her. So, she holds Clarke in her arms while she cooks something for the hungry blonde. Alec & Izzy wake up just in time to see and devour the pile of pancakes that Lena made with the assistance of Clarke. The three older kids were already fighting for the last pancake when Lena settles down little Karolina in her baby chair so the little blonde can eat her almond pudding.
"Kids, do not fight, I'll make you more if you're still hungry…"
"YEY! More pancakes!"
Lena chuckles and gives Karolina a spoon so she can eat while she makes more pancakes. The use of the spoon is still something new for baby Karolina, she can hold it, but she's still struggling to put it in her mouth. Looking at the struggle of the baby with the spoon, Lena hesitates to step in again, but, thankfully, Clarke beats her on it.
"I got it, mommy!"
Like the big sister she's, Clarke feeds her baby sister. Lena smiles when she sees them. It feels like it was just yesterday when Clarke was the one who couldn't get a grip on the spoon and now, here she's, helping her other siblings. If Kara could see this, Lena cannot stop feeling sad about that thought, the blonde should be here, seeing this, but…
"She will be back… she will be back…"
It's the mantra Lena says to herself to endure the rest of the day. It was a peaceful morning, just them, Lena and kids. Hope woke a little later and Clarke asked to feed her too. And, Lena sees no harm in letting her give Hope the formula.
"I'm doing it fine, mommy?"
"Yes, darling, she's eating, look…"
Clarke smiles looking at the happy baby who's sucking the milf formula from the bottle, she was too little to do this for Alec and Izzy, even for Karolina but, she's older now and the little blonde feels more than ready to step in and be a real big sister for Hope and the rest of the siblings.
"I'll protect them all, mommy! I'm the big sis! I can do it!"
Lena smiles, she softly caresses Clarke's cheek and she has no doubt she will always protect her siblings no matter what. And maybe Clarke's determination is what pushes Lena to do the same. She has to protect her family too, no matter what.
The world might be at risk, the entire Universe might be at risk, but, right now, all Lena cares about is Kara. All she wants is to keep Kara and her kids safe & sound no matter the cost.
*** Lena's narrative (voice-over) ***
When did we stop fighting for each other? When did we stop caring for the world? By now, I know what I'm capable of, how much I can handle on my own. And, you know what? I can handle a lot, even the thought of becoming the worst villain of all times…
"Did you bring what I asked?"
Alex and Sam nod as they show all the ingredients Lena asked them to collect for the spell she plans to enchant. The whole crisis is still something hard to digest and while Brainy and Dreamer are helping Kara and J'onn to follow the monitor's plan. Lena has another plan in mind. All the kids are with Elisa, too many kids to handle, but thankfully, Ruby is there to help too.
"It's ready, I'll start now, you should step back"
Sam and Alex share concerning looks. Neither of them dares to say a word till Lena finishes the preparations for the spell and looks ready to go with it.
"Lena, STOP!"
"Alex, do not ask me to stop, I can't…"
"You've no idea what this will do, Lena. This is insane! You have no control on your magic!"
"She's right, Lena"
"Sam…"
"Look, I get it, you want to help, we all want, but you need to ask yourself if this is really the way!"
Sam and Alex make a common front and they might be right to doubt about Lena' skills, she even doubts herself about being capable of doing this, but…
"What is insane is to believe Lex will save the world!"
"Lena, just like you, we don't trust Lex, but, we trust in Kara, in the others, so please trust them too…"
The raven-haired woman doubts for a brief moment about her actions, her motives. She has prepared the portals so they can escape the anti-matter wave but…
"It's a mistake, even if we get to evacuate as many people as we want. There's no warranty that the wave will not reach us"
"And do you really think that your spell will keep us safe?"
"Maybe not, but I must try to keep my world as its"
"Just because you can do this spell, it doesn't mean you has to"
Lena sees the fear and hesitation in Sam & Alex's eyes, she shares those feelings too. But, there's no turning back, she's doing this. And, that's how Lena ends up creating the Hex. A field of energy that surrounds her little world.
*** Lena's narrative (voice-over) ***
When did we stop being human? When did we decide to play God without questioning the consequences of our actions? When did we stop believing there's always hope?
"Lena, wake up…"
"Mmm…."
"Mommy, wake up! Wake up!"
"Lee, wake up!"
The dear Luthor is finally able to open her eyes to a very bright reality. She jumps in bed when she recalls the previous events at this moment. She made a spell to keep her world safe and now she's in bed with Kara and the kids? And, everything is in black & white?
"What the hell?"
"Mommy said a big word!"
"Lee! Never in front of the kids, remember?"
The blonde tries to scold her wife and her kids for giggling while Lena is still processing everything that's happening around her. All seems too calm, too perfect to be real. She has no idea what is happening but when she's ready to look for answers, Kara softly kisses her on the lips and just like that, Lena doesn't remember what was wrong in the first place.
"You're my world, Lee…"
"And, you're mine, too…"
Lena says as she gets another taste of those lips she loves to kiss. So in love with this new change of scenario that the raven haired woman stops wondering what is wrong in this fake reality she created to keep her world together. After all, her world is here and that's all she needs, or at least that's what she thinks.
*** Lena's narrative (voice-over) ***
We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things, out of reach. And, when we get it, when our prayer is answered, we might get something we never should have wished for...