Me: Okay, here's the deal, I'm going to explain everything about your past. The how's and why's and everything and then Kara can-
Lena: No. I don't think you will.
Me: Y- Yes, ma'am!
Kara: But...
Me: *runs away clutching my draft*
*
*
*
Lena entered her house in a daze. Depositing the rescued kittens on the kitchen floor as she did, fished out her wet phone and then sank it into a plastic bag of rice. She rummaged through her fridge to fix a bowl of crushed blueberries and a bowl of water for the three mewling about her feet.
Once that was done, she grabbed her fluffiest robe and settled down in front of the newcomers. Her body sagged against the lower cabinet as she watched the three hungrily lapped at their food, heads butting against one another once in a while to get a bigger portion.
Supergirl's– Kara's last words fill her empty numbing mind.
"You're a murderer."
Well, Kara wasn't wrong. You would think that after hearing a colourful variation of related nicknames back in the prison, Lena wouldn't let those matter-of-fact sentences get to her this badly. But, there's something devastating about seeing your soulmate's horror and stricken face as they came to realize who their supposed significant others really were at the very core.
And that's what Kara saw.
Lena, taking a man's life cold-blooded. A murderer.
The Kryptonian had flown away in a gust of wind soon after, having nothing else to say. Lena can still picture the blonde's shock features or maybe repulsed one. Who knows really.
The three kittens mewl loudly against the now-empty bowl of fruit, bringing back to the reality of the situation.
"I found my soulmate thanks to you." One jumped over the bowl, giving its backside to Lena rather rudely as it started drinking from the other bowl.
Truthfully, the idea of a Soulmate had never enticed her as much since she was sixteen. The implication of what that means, of finding your other half, holding an exclusive lifelong bond where one will feel complete.
She scoffed self-degradingly.
Well, here she was, after finding her soul's other half and all she felt was empty.
Maybe Kara had sucked everything that there was inside Lena's soul and left nothing else behind when they made the first connection.
Her mind recalled the visions that she had. Of Kara's transformation into becoming a superhero, of becoming the Earth's champion. And every time passed, the Kryptonian grew bolder and more confident. More proud. That is until a Kryptonite blade pierced through her glyphs.
Lena shivered.
What was that? She can't for the life of her shake the foreboding feeling. It tingled and made her skin crawl. Her heart shrunk in on itself and she had to grit her teeth to ease her breathing normally.
There's so much going on right now in her head to decipher what that could mean. She can't think past the sole fact that she had found her soulmate so she pulled the robe around her body tighter, trying to relive the warmth whenever she was with a certain blonde long before she knew who the person really meant.
Kara with those pretty blue eyes.
That cute crease of her brows.
The blinding smile and sunny voice.
"I'm not keeping you," She told the kittens. One had settled by her feet and the other two on her lap. Their brown fur looked almost black under the dim kitchen light. But, their blue eyes shined bright. Just like her soulmate's.
Lena sighed, defeated.
*
Supergirl is Kara.
Kara is Supergirl.
And she's her soulmate.
What would Lex think? Another Luthor to share half of a Kryptonian soul. Would he be proud or disappointed that his criminal of a sister had somehow continued the legacy of a Super and a Luthor connected in more ways than one?
That thought kept repeating back and forth in her head all the moment Lena turned herself in the night until she woke up the next morning. When she was under the showerhead. When she was getting ready for work. Until it turned to dread as she stepped into the elevator of Catco's building.
It's almost funny how just yesterday, she had been looking forward to going to work so she can get Kara's granola bars and thus have a reason to meet the blonde again. Wistfully, she thought that maybe once Kara has paid the debt, Lena could then offer lunch. It would be the start of them becoming friends. Of Kara becoming her first friend in this city.
Lena's eyes burn. So pathetic.
As it turned out, she didn't have to worry about never seeing the Kryptonian again because Kara came at lunch hour, striding in the Marketing department without a granola bar in hand but an invitation or rather a demand, more like.
"We need to talk."
Lena willed herself to stay aloof. Putting her monitor to sleep and rearrange the scattered papers on her desk to the side and answered, "No."
"Okay, how about Noonan's? We can—wait, what?"
Lena grabbed her purse from the drawers and stood, finally meeting Kara's eyes. They're so blue and... bright. God.
"No," she repeated and left.
It took Kara only a second to catch up with her. "What do you mean no? We're— last night, I'm sure you know who I am now and we have to talk about that. And I have questions."
"And am I obligated to answer?"
They stopped at the lobby waiting for the elevator.
Kara moved to stand right in front, defiantly stared Lena down. The mask of Supergirl slipping every second. "Yes, because you're my— we're soulmates."
Lena smiled, unkind. "And suddenly you have every right to my life? To my past?"
Kara flinched slightly, fixing her glasses. "No, of course not, Lena. I just..." but then her face hardened again. "In my vision, I saw how you killed him. You stab him in the neck. I saw him bleed out on the carpet, the red seeping through his white rug. There's so much blood and his eyes..."
Lena's heart ticked a beat faster at that. She looked away from Kara's pleading gaze, willing the memories to stay locked in metaphorical boxes at the back of her mind. "No, I'm not doing this with you."
The elevator dinged right at that moment and she got in to escape but Kara was relentless in her pursuit. And alone with her in the tiny space felt suffocating.
Time seemed to move so slow as they travelled down. From her side, Kara sighed suddenly, "Lena..." She can feel Kara's earnest gaze probing the side of her face. "I'm sorry I sprang it out like that. I just... this is new to me too. And I think we should talk to try to understand each other. We're soulmates, Lena. That has to mean something right?"
There it was again, Soulmates. The way Kara said it like everything will be fine and dandy. As if finding your soulmates could solve the world's problem. Kara phrased it with so much hope. Of what they could be. Of what she hoped Lena could be.
Lena decided to rip the bandage off. "See, the thing is Kara, I know the only reason you want to talk is because you want to find a reason, something to justify that I killed him for something good, am I wrong? Because how can Supergirl, the person that stands for everything that is good, her soulmate, her other half, be anything bad, evil?" Kara backed away, startled, due to Lena's sudden proximity or her abrupt flow of words, she didn't know but she continued. "Well, here's your answer; His name was Jack Spheer. And I killed him because I can. I served ten years for it but boy was it worth it. If he's standing here now, I'd do it again."
The look on Kara's face made the blood coursing through Lena's vein felt like glass. Her eyes burned and her hands trembled. She fisted them painfully as her gaze locked in those mesmerizing blue. "Leave me alone or I will tell the next reporter I see who you really are under that shirt."
The elevator dinged again and more people came in. Lena got out even if it's not the ground floor yet.
But, at least Kara wasn't following her anymore.
*
Her peace was short-lived though as it took Kara only three days to start showing up again. Probably finally realizing that Lena would never go through with her threat or just didn't care.
The Kryptonian found her after work while Lena was busy picking cat towers at the pet store.
"Have you named them yet?"
At the sudden voice, Lena did a little yelp that she's not proud of. Heat coursed through her cheek which Kara only apologized sheepishly after.
Turning away, Lena decided not to grace her with an answer. Or maybe her mind still hadn't caught up that Kara's really here—that she came back even after what happened the last time they talk.
Kara for her part didn't let it deter her, continuing where she left off. "If you haven't named them yet, I have a few ideas. How does Moe, Larry and Curly sound?"
Lena stopped short, turning to glare at the other woman. The Three Stooges? Really?
Blue eyes brightened at the attention as she waited for something to come out of Lena's mouth but Lena held back, speeding off to another aisle instead.
"Too silly?" Kara asked over her shoulder, relentless. "Well that's okay, there are plenty more famous trios you can name them after. How about the Three Musketeers? They sure have some fights last time I saw them." There's a light to her voice which Lena tried very hard not to let it warm her very being. "What else... oh, there's also the Powerpuff Girls, the Golden Trio from Harry Potter, the Three Amigos. How about Huey, Dewey and Loius, or Destiny's Child—"
"I'm not naming my cat, Beyoncé," Lena cut off, reaching her limit.
Kara smiled that damn smile that could blind people from ten feet away. "Why not? I like Beyoncé."
Lena bite the inside of her cheek and gave in. "First of all, they're boys and second, I don't care what you like or don't like. Go away." More resigned than anything.
"And here I thought you're going to say something worse like you hate Beyoncé or something. That's where I draw the line just so you know."
Lena glared daggers through her eyes but Kara stood her ground. Her smile was gone now but there's something else equally rattling Lena's nerves there. Blue eyes locked onto hers, capturing her soul in some kind of suspension that left her insides bare one layer at a time. It left her breathless and...scared.
Willing herself to finally look away, Lena strode to the counter to place her order all the while highly aware that Kara was still here somewhere in the store.
Once Lena's done paying and writing down her home address for them to send the cat towers, she left the store without looking back. But, of course, she was not truly alone when Kara joined her on the sidewalk.
"What else do you want, Kara? Stop following me." She gritted out, not even looking at her.
"I'm not following you. I just happen to walk in the same direction as you."
"Yeah? You know someone who lives in this street?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Kara pointedly looked at her.
Lena scoffed. "We've known each other barely a week and you think you know me?"
"Well, we've shared a meal, rescued kittens and also saw each other's dirty little secret. So yeah, I think I know you a little."
At the mention of secret, Lena halted in her step. Flashes of green glow and sharp rock piercing through Kara's chest invaded her mind. Her gaze flew down to the steady rise and fall of Kara's chest. Kara, who's unharmed and looking back with a determined set of gaze.
"Have you ever been stabbed by Kryptonite before?" Lena asked, curious but more concerned than anything.
Kara looked disappointed that it gave Lena whiplash. "You can stop threatening me, Lena. I know you would never go through with any of it."
Lena frowned and then chuckled bitterly. Kara honest to God thought she was threatening her. Fuck this. "Forget I said anything. Have a nice life, Supergirl."
The Superhero in question move to chase after her but Lena didn't give her the satisfaction of even listening to what she had to preach next, truly closed off now. It seemed that Kara knew this too and grew desperate, reaching out to stop her.
For the second time since they met, their skin touched.
It wasn't anything special this time. There were no visions or electrified touches, only warm smooth skin. Lena's heart skipped a beat regardless as she turned to face Kara.
"I have killed too," Kara said, still holding onto Lena's wrist. Lena for her part was too stunned to pull away as the words reached her ears. Kara's face was pained and ashamed, "My aunt, Astra. There's no amount of reason to justify it because at the end of the day, I took her life and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. In no way that I'm saying that you and I are similar or that I understand you but I'm not innocent either, Lena. So, you're wrong. Supergirl is not all good and you... I don't think you're all evil either."
Kara finally let go and Lena released a breath she held, disappointed—no, relieved at the loss of contact.
"Can we start over?" Kara said at the growing silence. "Let our past be the past and start anew?"
"My past is what brought me here. It's part of who I am. I can't forget all of that."
"I'm not saying you should forget about it." Kara sucked a sharp breath looking frazzled. "I just want us to be friends and if you're not comfortable telling me about your past then that's fine, really. I get it. But, please don't push me away. I don't want to lose you, Lena."
Those damn blue eyes did their sinister work again, tearing Lena's wall apart. "I... I'm..."
Wasn't this what she wanted all along before she was forced to move to National City? To find a friend. To finally live a normal life outside metal bars and concrete walls? After all those years, she deserved this at least, didn't she?
Her mind made up, Lena nodded timidly. "Fine. Let's be friends."
Kara beamed, stood taller. "Yeah?"
Lena had to get away from whatever this surge in her chest was, else she wouldn't survive for long. So, she turned and walked away from the person who caused it. Unfazed, Kara trailed after, her steps seemed lighter as they continued walking in silence.
It felt nice.
The buzz of the city had long left them and instead the peace and quiet of the neighbourhood greeted them. At times like this one, Lena was grateful for how rich her family was. At least she's lucky in that department. She chanced a glance at the side where Kara was doing the same thing.
Their eyes met and Kara gifted her that bewitching smile over Lena's bashful one. Yes, she definitely felt more than lucky at this moment.
God, what's happening to her?
Kara cleared her throat. "So, um...nice weather, right."
Lena chuckled softly. "Yeah, the greatest."
Kara forced a laugh, face growing red as she fixed her glasses for the umpteenth time. "Yeah, I just love it when the sky clears, the sun comes out and I get it all to myself, ya know. My Kryptonian cells just suck it all up and I felt like I could move Earth. Not that I can... I mean I never try but then that would be a catastrophe, because the Earth's orbit would— um, yeah...hey, do you wanna come over my house?"
Lena was still smiling at the vomit of words but then slow understanding seeped through. At the quirk of her brow, Kara rushed to explain.
"Not right now. We're having a game night next Friday—I'm hosting. My sister and my friends will be there. So, if you want, you can come and join us."
Lena's smile dimmed. Thoughts of meeting those people that meant something to Kara made Lena's palms sweat. "Do they know about us?"
Kara blinked owlishly. "Oh, you mean us being...soulmates?" At Lena's nod, Kara shook her head. "No, I haven't told them. I thought we should make that decision together. Like, only if you're okay with it—we don't have to if you don't want. I'm fine either way. Really. But, I'd like for you to meet them...if you want."
Lena was left speechless. She felt undeserving by Kara's gentleness and thoughtfulness.
"Think about it, okay," Kara said, reaching out to take Lena's hand. Lena's heart stopped beating at the contact again. Kara's hand was still warm and smooth as the last time she remembered, which was not long ago really, but somehow felt like forever. Her fingers, long and thin around her own before it left. Lena belatedly realized there was a card in her palm. It had a Catco logo and behind it, was Kara's name and contact number.
"For whenever you want to talk or anything," Kara explained while moving away gradually. "I had to go, there's a road rage happening downtown." She stopped right after giving Lena one last goodbye before ducking into the alleyway.
Not a second later there was a boom in the air simultaneously with an abrupt take-off. Lena only caught a glimpse of blue and red shooting into the sky, up, up and away.
*
The next Friday cannot come fast enough. Kara didn't reach out again, leaving Lena full decision to make the next move if she so wanted. It was agonizing within those days for Lena to swallow her pride and made the call.
She didn't know why it was so hard for her to do this. In the confine of her home, Lena had a lot of time to think and wallow. She ran through scenario after scenario of what could go wrong if they cross this boundary where she can never run away from being Kara's soulmate. From being a part of the Kryptonian's life. Of what it meant to be a friend.
What she settled with was this: She's not ready. Even to be friends.
She's not. So, she saved Kara's contact inside her phone and stored her business card in the wallet and left it at that.
She wouldn't call. She would do nothing and certainly wouldn't be going to game night.
But, as it was, it was also her 26th birthday that day.
Not that it mattered since her phone had been silent throughout. No calls or wishes from Lex or Lillian. In fact, they hadn't reached out to her ever since she first moved here. Lena tried not to be bitter about any of it but it's hard, especially today. She even swallowed her pride and picked up her phone to call them but it went into their inboxes. And then the TV popped out the latest venture of LuthorCorp. Lex was in his pressed suit and Superman in all his regalia standing beside him as they officiate a brand new shelter both for aliens and humans alike under their name.
A Super and a Luthor, making the world better one day at a time.
Lena turned off the TV and get up from the couch.
Eyes burning, she poured three fingers of scotch and downed it in one shot. The burning changed course and she felt slightly better.
Poor Kara stuck with the runt of the litter. A murderer for a soulmate. Despite what Kara said, there was nothing good that could come out of this.
But Lena was selfish and she's so sick of being alone. Her resolve finally thinning out.
Grabbing her phone off the kitchen island, she fired a rapid text and hit send before she could blink.
Hi Kara, it's Lena.
What's your address?