Summers' Residence, Backyard
Xander carefully carved the base of the chess piece he was working on while the girls watched, fascinated.
"It's like the wood is… clay," Willow said softly.
"Yeah, when I make stakes it's more like trying to sharpen a stubborn pencil," Buffy offered, "nothing like that."
"That's because you don't pay attention to the grain," Xander told her, not looking up from his work, hands smoothly flowing from one cut to the next, flakes of wood falling onto the picnic table as Dawn watched, entranced.
"What does the grain have to do with anything?" Buffy asked, realizing their talking wasn't interfering with his work.
"Wood naturally splits along the grain," he explained, "and the grain is affected by what the tree's gone through: sickness, health, flood, fire, etc… For the best wood you have to go out and examine the tree while it's alive and investigate the weather patterns and natural disasters in the area, otherwise you have no idea what you're working with. There is a reason the best craftsman prepares their own wood and often grow the trees themselves."
"I don't recall reading anything about that," Willow said with a frown.
"It's something so obvious that no true craftsman considers mentioning it, and even when they do, people just write it off as them being difficult," Xander explained. "You only really need it to create true masterpieces, most things don't require nearly as stringent material selection even for what most people consider masterpieces."
"Like a Stradivarius?" Willow asked.
"Common wood, though carefully chosen and soaked with Borax to ensure termites wouldn't damage it," Xander replied. He stopped carving and frowned thoughtfully. "He may also have peed in the limewater he treated the wood with, which alone wouldn't have the effect needed to create the violins he did, however he was a heavy red wine drinker and his liver was damaged so his urine wasn't as filtered as it should have been."
"Rozen knew him?" Willow asked wide eyed.
Xander shook his head and went back to carving. "No, but just like the trees, he knew the history of the area and that involved a lot of wine drinking, preferably red. If a younger man with a less damaged liver had peed in the limewater it wouldn't have the same effect, so it was likely him and not one of his apprentices. I'm talking about the violins he made when he was older of course, the younger ones while excellent just weren't that impressive."
"How much do you know?!" Willow asked in disbelief.
"Just about anything that has to do with crafting things by hand," Xander replied, picking up another piece of wood and examining it closely before he started carving, "but little outside of that."
"But, but, but… history!" Willow exclaimed. "You lived through it!"
Xander laughed. "I have the memories of people who lived through it, but they weren't kings and queens or rulers of any stripe, so I mostly know what the common man knew about what was going on and they didn't exactly have the net back then. Most people just got on with their lives, having no clue what was going on and what little they did know was wrong and that's not to mention the fact that all of the memories I have are from people who were completely focused on their art."
"Oh," Willow said thoughtfully. "Okay, less freaked out now."
"I don't know, he's kinda sounding like Giles," Buffy argued, trying not to laugh.
"You ask questions about technical stuff, you get technical stuff answers," Xander replied, finishing the last pawn and setting it on the board. "What do you think?"
Buffy picked up the queen from the side of the board closest to her, carved from a pale wood, and examined it. "Is this Mom?"
"And the king is Giles," Xander said. "Needed some adults for the role."
"This one is Sally Fields and the king is Burt Reynolds," Dawn noted as she picked up the other queen made of a dark wood.
"Smokey & The Bandit is an awesome movie," Xander said firmly.
Willow grinned, relieved that her best friend hadn't changed as much as she'd feared.
Summers' Residence, Early Morning
"Yes! Oh god, yes!"
Buffy rolled her eyes and returned to her breakfast.
"Not going to rush off?" Joyce asked, before sipping her coffee.
"I can tell she's just doing it to mess with me now," Buffy replied, more interested in her eggs than her sister's latest attempt to annoy her.
A red faced Xander came downstairs with a bouncing Dawn. "Coffee and lots of sugar please," he asked with a yawn.
Buffy paused mid-bite and took a closer look at her sister, before pointing at her with her fork. "You weren't messing with me by doing that, you were teasing Xander!"
"I can do both," she said cheerfully, before sitting down to eat her pancakes, while Joyce forced herself not to laugh as she poured the young man a large cup of coffee.
"Maybe if I wind less," Xander mock threatened.
"I'll be good!" Dawn exclaimed in a panic before she realized he was joking. "That was mean."
"And teasing us isn't?" Buffy pointed out.
"Well…" Dawn blushed. "I'm not really teasing so much as not trying to be quiet," she admitted. "I'm not sure I can be quiet, but then, as I said, I haven't been trying."
"Oh," Buffy said, silence falling over the table as the three concentrated on their food.
Joyce decided to dispel the awkward silence. "Xander, thanks again, for agreeing to stay here."
"It's no problem," he assured her, "I like the company and you feed me."
"That's how we lure him into the library at school," Buffy joked.
"I fall for it every time," Xander said with a melodramatic sigh as the girls giggled.
"So, what's the plan for the day?" Buffy asked.
"I was planning on buying a large mirror, carving a frame for it, then planting it in the museum," Xander said.
"Planting it in the museum?" Buffy asked. "I guess that's easier than breaking in while carrying one, but how are you going to convince them to keep it and not throw it out?"
"I figure we'll take a look around to figure out where there is some wall space and I'll carve the frame to fit the section its in," Xander explained. "If it looks like it belongs, no one will question it."
"That's a good plan," Buffy admitted. "How are we going to plant it? It's going to be hard to sneak around carrying a huge mirror."
"That's why we're not going to try," Xander replied. "We are going to walk in like we belong there and openly install it."
"I think the guards would have a problem with that," Joyce said gently, not wanting to discourage them.
"Guards are trained to keep people from damaging the exhibits and taking things," he replied, "not installing things. As long as we aren't trying to mess with existing exhibits, they'll assume we are authorized to be there, because who in their right mind is going to walk into a museum and install an exhibit for free?"
"Just you, though I'm not so sure about you being in your right mind," Buffy joked, receiving two extended tongues for her joke from Xander and Dawn, making her grin.
"How long will it take you to make the frame?" Joyce asked.
"Depends on where we want to hang it in the museum," Xander replied. "It's open till eight pm so if we go directly after school, we should have plenty of time to make the frame and walk it in before they close. In fact, doing it an hour before they close is the best time, as the guards will be relaxed and waiting for their shift to end."
"Not sure you can make a convincing forgery in that amount of time," Joyce said, "but I'll get a full-length mirror and some wood for the framing while you're in school and afterwards you can try and pull off your… reverse heist."
"Thanks, it'll make things a lot easier."
"How are we going to sneak you into the museum after it's closed?" Buffy asked. "Simple breaking and entering?"
"Willow can handle the alarm system, you guard the mirror, and we'll take care of the rest," Xander told her. "Now, let's get to school; I need a nap to make sure I'm well rested and History class awaits!"
Summers' Residence, Evening
"It's… beautiful though kinda damaged looking," Buffy said as she stared at the enormous mirror with its intricately carved wooden frame, Egyptian hieroglyphics surrounding the silvery glass, wood carefully sanded to give the appearance of great age and weathering from being in a desert environment.
"I can't believe you managed that in under an hour," Joyce said, shaking her head.
"There is something wrong with the hieroglyphs," Willow noted with a frown as she examined them.
"Well, it just has to fool them for a little while, not forever," Buffy pointed out.
"They're backwards," Willow said suddenly. "Why are they backwards?"
"Because it's a mirror," Xander said innocently, Dawn giggling in his arms as he held her.
"And why did you make it, so it look like some of the wood was broken off or worn away in parts?" Willow asked, leaning in to take a closer look. "I swear this looks familiar."
"He made it to fit in with the displays," Buffy said, "and not much recovered from that long ago is in mint condition."
Giles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"That's Greek," Willow said, pointing to a section of the engravings near the bottom of the frame.
"It's supposed to be," Xander agreed.
"The Egyptian culture was in contact with the Greek people," Giles reminder her, "their empire was involved in trade all over the ancient world."
"Well, it definitely looks like it belongs in a museum," Joyce said. "The materials are obviously more modern than they'd have access to, but that would require a close examination and some testing to tell."
"The mirror is obviously pretty modern," Buffy pointed out.
"Yes, but that's so obvious that the assumption will be that it was added to show what it should look like, as no mirror is going to survive two thousand years without a minor miracle or two being involved," Xander told her.
"It's weird enough to be ancient," Buffy said. "You are so making me a mirror for my birthday. Preferably something that doesn't look like it was stolen from a museum though."
"Of course," Xander agreed with a grin. "Well, let's pack it in its crate and load up the car. We want to get there by seven or a little after, so all the admin people will have checked out and left for the weekend and no one will want to call them."
"I have the paperwork prepared," Giles said. "Thankfully, Willow was able to find samples of exhibit transfer paperwork from the LA branch of the museum, so it'll pass casual scrutiny if we're questioned."
"Are you sure you want to come along?" Xander asked.
"I think you'll have a better chance of pulling this off with my assistance," Giles told him. "I am somewhat familiar with the profession," he said dryly.
"Fair point," Xander conceded. "Just be sure to sneer at me and lecture me on being careful while I am working and how important the piece is."
"I've dealt with people like that," Giles said, "it's never a comfortable situation."
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "It's a Friday, almost time to close, all admin is gone, and we have an uncomfortable situation, there is not a single guard that wants to step into that situation if they have a choice. We might as well be invisible."
Giles considered that for a moment. "Alright, I will concede that your plan is nearly foolproof."
"Thanks, I learned everything I know from watching sitcoms," Xander said cheerfully.
Giles groaned. "I'm going to end up spending the weekend in jail."
The teens laughed, while Joyce hid her smile behind her hand.
Beta by: Abyssal Angel & Mist of Shadows