Chapter 33
Lisa
She knows every word to every song. I'm not sure when she learned all the songs that were written before I met her, but it makes me wonder if she learned them for me. For these moments when we're watching the band on stage, so she can sing them to me.
When the song ends and she starts clapping, I notice tears are falling down her cheeks. I wipe one of them away and then lean in and kiss her briefly before walking away. She tries to grasp at my shirt, but I disappear into the crowd before making my way on stage. Bambam told me to come up after the first song to perform the one I wrote for her, but I didn't tell Jennie I wrote a new song for her.
When I get up on the stage, I can feel the excitement of the room, even though I can't hear it. The looks on their faces, the people in the front few rows jumping up and down, the heat from the lights, the smile on Jennie's face when I finally find her in the crowd. I lean in to the microphone and sign while I tell her out loud why I wrote the song.
"Jennie." She's grinning so wide right now, it makes me smile. "I wrote a happy song for you this time. Because…well…you make me happy. No matter what happens or where we go…we're in it together. And that makes me so fucking happy."
She laughs and wipes at a tear, then signs, You make me happy, too.
I take the guitar Bambam hands me and wait for his cue. Then I close my eyes and start playing the chords, repeating the lyrics quietly in my head while Bambam uses his voice to sing them out loud.
Well maybe we can be
Somewhere where the land and the water meet
Somewhere where the worry just can't be
Only got enough room for you and me
Well maybe the sun will rise
And peek through the pulled down bamboo blinds
Shine across your slept on perfect hair
And we won't care
No, we won't care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try to make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It's gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
Well what if all we saw
Was the rain dancing off the roof as it falls
Swaying in the leaves at the top of the tree
Water washing sand right from our feet
Well what if all we knew
Was right from wrong with no point of view
The day can go off the tracks up in the air
And we won't care
No, we won't care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It's gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
You know we'll be here for a while
I think we better do it with a little style
So we make the most of every day like it's faded away
We'll be alright
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It's gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
When the song is over, I hand the guitar to Bambam and make my way back down to the floor. I find Bobby and Sorn. I see Irene and Jackson. I spin around, but there's no Jennie. I look at Irene and sign, "Where did she go?"
Irene points to the stage.
I spin around and look at where I was just sitting. Why is Jennie on stage?
Bambam is saying something to her as she takes a seat on the barstool. He looks out at the crowd and says something into the microphone, then signs it for me. "This is Jennie Kim. She's one of our songwriters, and this is her first time on stage. Give her a round of applause."
She looks nervous, but I don't think she's as nervous as I am for her. I had no idea she was doing this.
Bambam starts to play, and I move closer to the stage to see which chords he's playing…which song. And I realize almost immediately that it's "Maybe Someday"—our song. I look at Jennie, just as the lyrics are about to start, but there's no microphone in front of her.
That's when she starts to sign the words.
Holy shit. She's signing the song for me.
Fuck. How am I supposed to just stand here and not get emotional?
I shake my head when she makes eye contact with me. I'm in complete disbelief as I watch her sign the lyrics to a song she's completely rewritten into a new song.
Maybe Someday Now
I am right in front of you, here to stay
Breathe a little easier every day
Now that I'm yours. And you are mine.
You ask me what I'll want someday
It's the same as yesterday
All I want…is you
With you I'm at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
When you speak, I listen close
Hear all the words you say in prose
We're only silent when we kiss
I smell my perfume in your bed
Thoughts of you invade my head
Truths were written, now they're said
With you I'm at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
You hear my heartbeat every night
Life with you, it feels so right
We are endless, like our song
Only good can come this way
Nights with you turn into day
Forever yours, Forever mine
With you I'm at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Or maybe now
I don't remember when the song ended or when she walked off the stage or when she appeared right in front of me. I just know that in one moment, I was watching her on stage, and the next moment, I was kissing her. I can feel the music to the next song playing, and I'm still kissing her. My hands are in her hair when I finally pull back and press my forehead to hers. "I love you," I whisper.
I do. I love her so damn much.
•••
I'm not even sure what other songs were played after that. I couldn't focus on anything other than Jennie. After the show, everyone met with the band backstage to figure out where we were going for dinner. While they chatted, Jennie and I stayed out in the hallway and made out. We're at dinner now, and it's torture keeping my hands off of her.
Bambam and the guys needed to get on the road, so it's Jen and me, Irene and Jackson, and Bobby and Sorn. I'm not sure why we even got a communal table, because none of us couples are paying attention to each other.
Well…we weren't. But Bobby has turned his attention on Jennie now.
"Settle something for us," he says, referring to Sorn and him.
"What's up?" Jennie says.
"So…in the song you rewrote…you mentioned vows. Was that a hint that you want to get married?"
Jennie laughs and then looks at me. She looks back at Bobby and shakes her head. "We talked about how we weren't ready a few months ago. When I was rewriting the song, I realized maybe I am. I mean…" She looks at me. "Did you take it that way? I wasn't saying I expect a proposal. I just meant whenever you're ready…I'm ready."
Yeah, I'm ready. But I don't tell her that. She deserves a more thought-out proposal.
"Hold up," Bobby says before I can even respond. "Slow down. Sorn and I have been together the longest. We should get married first."
"No," Sorn says. "I think Jackson and Irene should get married first. She has less time."
I was hoping I misread her lips, but she just made Jennie spew out her drink, so I guess I understood what Sorn said just fine. Sorn is lucky that Irene is laughing at her right now, rather than choking her.
"What?" Sorn says innocently. "It's true." She looks at Irene. "I'm not trying to be mean. But seriously, you should try to do as much as you can as fast as you can. It makes sense. Add marriage to your bucket list and get it over with."
Irene's cheeks are a shade darker than they were before all the attention was on her. Sorn doesn't seem to care that she's embarrassing her. Or maybe she just doesn't notice.
"We aren't getting married," Irene says. "We've only known each other for a few months. Statistically speaking, the less time you date someone before you marry them, the greater your chances of it ending in divorce."
Bobby leans forward, holding up a finger in thought. It always makes me nervous when he tries to impart wisdom on other people. "Maybe so," he says. "But wouldn't adding marriage to your bucket list be worth the risk? You and Jackson can date like this forever and you'll never know what it's like to get married. Or you can risk it and possibly experience marriage and divorce before you die."
Jackson cocks an eyebrow and glances at Irene. "Sounds like a win-win to me."
Irene's eyes widen. Jackson smiles at her while he takes a sip of his drink. And then he says, "It makes sense if you think about it. At the risk of sounding like a medical professional, your life expectancy isn't as long as mine. So…I'm ready when you're ready."
Irene stares at him blankly. We all do, actually. I don't think anyone was expecting him to agree with Bobby.
"I hope that wasn't a proposal," Irene says to Jackson. "It didn't even come with an I love you. Or an engagement ring."
Jackson stares back at Irene for a moment. Then he reaches his hand out across the table. "Give me your keys, Lisa."
I don't even hesitate. I give him my keys, and Irene watches him in bewilderment as he leaves the restaurant.
"What is he doing?" she says. "Is it something I said?"
Bobby is shaking his head. "Fucker is gonna beat me to it."
"To what?" Irene says.
She seems confused, so none of us gives her any hints that we know what's happening. When Jackson walks back into the restaurant, he approaches the table with purpose. He's holding the ring I gave him earlier, but before he opens the box, he stands at the head of the table and looks at Irene. Bobby signs everything he says.
"Irene…I know it's only been a few months. But it's been the best few months of my life. From the moment I first saw you, I have been absolutely consumed by you. I wish I had this speech and this moment planned out, but we both like spontaneous." He gets down on one knee and opens the box. None of us can tell what Irene's thinking. This could go one of two ways, and I'm not so sure it's going to go the way Jackson wants it to.
He opens the box. "This ring belonged to your grandmother. And I wish more than anything that I could have known her, because I would have thanked her for raising such an amazing, independent, perfect woman. And the perfect woman for me. Whether you marry me or not, this ring is yours." He pulls it out and lifts her hand, then slips the ring on her trembling finger. "But I would really love it if you would take the biggest risk you've ever taken and marry me, despite knowing very little about me or if we're even compatible for a lifetime or—"
Irene interrupts him by nodding her head and kissing him.
Holy shit. He did it.
Jennie is crying. Even Sorn wipes away a tear.
Bobby stands up, grabbing his wine glass to make a toast. "Congratulations, you two," he says toward Irene and Jackson, even though they're still kissing and not paying attention to him. "But this also kind of sucks because tonight was supposed to be my night."
To everyone's shock, Bobby pulls a box out of his pocket. He opens it and turns toward Sorn. "Sorn, I wanted to propose tonight. I still do, even though I'm irritated that Jackson did it first. So, before Jennie and Lisa steal the rest of my thunder, will you please marry me?"
Sorn is looking at him like he's crazy. Because he is.
"You didn't get down on one knee," she says.
"Oh." Bobby drops to his knee. "Will you marry me? Is that better?"
Sorn nods. "Yes."
"Yes what?" Bobby says. "Yes, that's better? Or yes, you'll marry me?"
She shrugs. "Both, I guess."
Holy shit.
What in the hell is happening tonight?
We sat down to dinner as three couples who were dating. Now four of the six of us are engaged. I look at Jennie and she looks radiant…smiling as always as she watches everyone else. Jackson and Irene and Jennie are all clapping for Bobby and Sorn.
Bobby pulls away from Sorn and looks over at Jackson and Irene. "Congrats. You might have been engaged longer than us, but we're getting married first."
Irene laughs. "You go right ahead, Mr. Competitive."
"Or…" Bobby says, turning to look at me. "Maybe we should just do this right now. Lisa, ask Jennie to marry you. Then let's all go to Vegas."
I laugh. If there's anything in our relationship I want to be taken more seriously than anything else, it's the moment I ask Jennie to marry me. I have it all planned out already. I'm writing a song for it. I'm going to perform it on stage at one of Bambam's concerts. Jennie deserves more than a spontaneous proposal.
"Oh, come on," Bobby says. "What are you waiting for? You gonna write her a love song and play it on stage like you've already done twice before?"
That fucker. "I mean…that was the plan," I sign, defeated.
"Well, it's predictable. And lame. But six best friends getting married all at once is memorable and fucking epic. Let's all go to Vegas and do this shit!"
Sorn is looking at me with her hands beneath her chin, mouthing, "Please, please, please, please."
My heart is beating twice as fast as it was two minutes ago. I turn to look at Jennie—to gauge her response—and she smiles. "Just say when," she signs.
"When," I say. I blurt it out faster than I would have been able to sign it.
Jennie's mouth is on mine and we're both laughing. And…I think we just got engaged.
Holy shit.
"I'll buy you a ring tomorrow. Whatever you want."
She shakes her head. "I don't want a ring. Let's get tattoos."
"In Vegas," Bobby says, pulling out his phone. "I'll look up flights."
"I'm already on it," Jackson says, looking down at his phone. "We have to keep Irene's health in mind, so I'd like to get the shortest flight. And as soon as we land, I want to set her up an appointment with a colleague of mine as a precaution. Then after that we can do the whole wedding thing."
That's something I would have never entertained—going to Vegas with Irene. I would have been adamantly against it. He really is better for her than I was. He's throwing caution to the wind…while somehow still being cautious. My eyes move from Jackson to Irene. She's staring at her ring with tears in her eyes. When she catches me staring, she just smiles and mouths, "Thank you." Because she knows how Jackson got the ring. I smile back at her, glad that I'm here to see this moment. I've always wanted the best for her, and now that she's found it, I couldn't be happier.
I honestly couldn't.
This…right now. Everyone I love is exactly where they belong. My crazy best friend with the only girl on the planet I would say is perfect for him. My amazing, incredible ex-girlfriend about to experience life with a guy who is a better balance for her than I could have ever been.
And Jennie. The girl on the balcony I tried so hard not to fall in love with.
The girl I fell in love with anyway.
The girl I am confident I will stay madly in love with far beyond my last breath.
I take her hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing her ring finger that won't be bare for long. "We're getting married," I say.
She nods, smiling up at me. "This better not be one of yours and Bobby's pranks."
I laugh. I laugh hard. And then I pull her to me and whisper in her ear, "My love for you is forever off limits to our pranks. Tomorrow, you'll be my wife."
I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair. Maybe Bobby was right. Maybe predictable isn't always preferable. Because I can't imagine this happening any other way than it did. I saw three people I love most in my life get everything they deserve and more.
As for me and Jennie…our maybe someday just became our absolutely forever.
The End