Hellllllo hello hello, don't pay attention to this, it's just the transcript for my ELA project. I'm making a comic of Act 3 Scene 2 from Shakespeare's play Much Ado About Nothing. But for my project, ofc it's the Top Cat gang because uhhhhh I'm a bigg'ol fuckin nerd. I just thought I should post it anyways just because.
*AHEM*
Uh, Lotta Fuss Ova Nothin'
Starring:
Terrence (Top Cat) Crawford as Benedick
Choo Choo Anomaline as Claudio
Spook Wysteria as Don Pedro
Fancy Fantasia Amante as Leonato
And Skratch Wysteria as Don John.
Spook: Like, I'll stay in Messina 'til ya married, then, I'll go to, like, Aragon.
Choo Choo: I'll go with ya if you'd like.
Spook: Nah man, takin' ya away so close t' ya weddin' day would be like showin' a kit a new toy and not lettin' him play with it. Like, I'll take T.C. with me 'stead, cuz, Y'know, from the top-a his head t' his feet, he's a clown. He's, like, dodged Cupid's arrow too many times and he don't even dare t' shoot at him again. He's a blunt man, whatever he thinks, he says, Y'know?
'BENEDICK' enters
T.C: Men, I'm not the same cat I was before.
Fancy: I concur. Ya seem more serious.
Choo Choo: Hope he's in looooove!
Spook: C'mon man! There ain't a single hair on him that could possibly be in love. Like, whenever he looks serious he most of the time just wants money.
T.C: I've got a toothache.
Spook: Really? Then, like, draw it, pops.
T.C: Hang on!
Choo Choo: Ya gotta hang it first, then ya can draw it.
Spook: Like, why are ya complainin' so much boutta toothache, dad?
Fancy: It's gotta be caused by some humor or parasite.
T.C: Well, everyone else knows how t' heal a wound 'cept the one hurt!
Choo Choo: Immunna say it again, he's in love.
Spook: Nah, there ain't a drop-a love in him, 'less ya mean, like, his love for strange outfits. Lookin' like a Dutchman today, Frenchman tomorrow, and sometimes two countries at once. A German with those baggy pants, a Spaniard with a cloak 'n no jacket. 'Less ya talkin' 'bout his love for lookin' like an idiot- which if we're, like, judgin' from his looks, he does- He's not in love like ya say.
Choo Choo: Well, if he ain't in love with a queen, then ya can't trust the usual symptoms. He brushes his hat in the mornings. Whaddya think that means?
Spook: Like, anybody seen him at the barber's?
Choo Choo: Nope, but the assistant's been seen with him. The extra fluff on his cheeks' been cut off and is now padding bird nests.
Fancy: Gettin' rid-a that fluff %100 made him look younger.
Spook: And he's, like, sprayed cologne all over himself, can'tcha smell it?
Choo Choo: Even more proof that the guy's in love!
Spook: The thing that really, like, gives it away is his seriousness.
Choo Choo: And since when has he ever washed his face?
Spook: Yeah, or wearin' cosmetics? Y'know what they say 'bout guys who do that.
Choo Choo: Uh-huh, his snarky attitude's crawled into a lute and now can be played like one!
Spook: Yep, like, it all adds up t' one thing. He's in love!
Choo Choo: Ohohoho, and I know who loves him!
Spook: I think I know too, some queen who don't know him at all.
Choo Choo: Actually, she does know him and all his bad qualities, but despite it, still dies for him.
Spook: She'll be like, uh, buried upwards, y'know?
T.C, (who was apparently here for the whole conversation,): Whateva, this slander helps my toothache none! (to Fancy) Walk with me, Fancy. I got sum'n I wanna say t' ya, and I don't want these two idiots listenin'.
('Benedick' and 'Leonato' exit)
Spook: How much ya wanna bet he's gon' talk t' him 'bout Trixie?
Choo Choo: Oh he's gotta be. By now, Auburn and Copper shoulda done their part with Trixie, and they won't snap at each other the next time they meet.
('Don John' enters)
Skratch: 'Sup Spook?
Spook: Evenin'.
Skratch: Can I like, talk t' ya for a sec?
Spook: In private?
Skratch: If ya want. But Chooch can stay, this is, like, a concern t' him too.
Spook: Whassamatta?
Skratch, at Choo Choo: You're, like, getting married tomorrow, yeah?
Spook: Man, like, ya know he is.
Skratch: Mmmmm I'unno, maybe not after he knows what I do.
Choo Choo: If there's any reason why I shouldn't get married tomorrow, you'd better tell me!
Skratch: Ya might think that I don't care 'boutcha. Hope that you'll, like, think better of me after I tell you the problem. You're Spook's friend, so he helped ya arrange your marriage. But, like, I think that might be just a waste.
Spook: Why?
Skratch: 'Cause she's unfaithful.
Choo Choo: Auburn?
Skratch: Uh-huh. Fancy's Auburn, your Auburn, every man's Auburn.
Choo Choo: Unfaithful?
Skratch: That word ain't even 'nuff to show how wicked she is. She's worse than wicked. Like, If ya can come up with a worse word, I'll call her it. But for real proof, come with me tonight and you'll see a man enter her room, on the night before ya wedding. If ya still, like, love her after that, then marry her. But it'd be, like, better for ya if ya didn't.
Choo Choo, to Spook: Is this possible?
Spook: Like, I don't think so, pops.
Skratch: If ya won't see her tonight, then you can't truly know. I'll, like, give ya all the proof ya need. Once you've witnessed it all, then you can decide.
Choo Choo: If I see anything tonight that makes her unworthy of my love, I'll publically shame her at the wedding tomorrow!
Spook: And since I, like, got her for ya, I'll shame her too!
Skratch: And I won't, like, say anything 'bout her 'till y'all see for yourselves. Keep your heads until midnight, then you'll see it all.
Spook: God, this is, like, Disasterville!
Choo Choo: Oh no! Our plans! They're ruined!
Skratch: Oh, how a plagues been prevented! That's, like, what'chull say after seeing part two.