Romancing The Earth Alien.
The Strongest Prone had earned and kept the tittle for so long, and still rings true, but technically he was only just that, the strongest Prone. For that reason alone , it bugged him ever since they landed on this Miran land to exterminate the Earth Aliens as a member of the Ganglion. One Earth Alien in particular, alongside her rag-tag gang of friends, really became a pain in the augs for him.
"Earth Alien...Chris..tina.." he grumbled as he sat on a flat rubble of sandy ,tanned stone, the faint trails of sand picking up against the gentle,yet warm Oblivian winds. He caught bits of sand between his gargantuan hand and clutched it into a tight fist, as if he were grieving the loss of something.
"How could such a puny Earthling get under the strong skin of the great Dadaan?! " he huffed,tightening that fist until a smaller hand gently touched his shoulder as if to comfort him. "Don't be so sad. You're still the best Prone around! We shall soon have our victory once and for all!" she cooed the sulking hulk of a man. ". The Prone woman reassured. Suddenly,a flock of other Prone women showed up to console him,patting him on his wide back gently. One of the other Prone men shouted in agreement after joining the coddling warriors. "They are right! You're the best! You're the greatest of all greats! Come on everybody, let's SING! "No one thrills like Dadaan,No One Kills Like Dadaan, No one -" .
The Strongest Prone(tm) had stopped him in his tracks by placing hand over his mouth. "Stop. With. The. Earth. Alien. Songs." he rolled his eyes and sighed. Ever since they found that stash of Earth Alien media that was part of one of the many broken pieces of White Whale on Mira, he had become a bit of a movie buff. Dadaan however,had no interest in such things and would rather all filthy Earth Alien material be removed from Miran lands. "You are too interested in those filthy Earth Alien cultures. They are of no use. I shall throw them away once we come up with a plan to defeat that puny human." he huffed. If there's one thing he couldn't stand about Earth Aliens,is their stupid invention of random synchronized singing. For that alone,was reason enough for them to be exterminated from existence,as far as he was concerned.
"Nooo! Please!" The prone male soldier pleaded. "You know, there's vital information within these. Perhaps a strategy to defeat Christina!" his words muffled underneath his hand.
The bridge where his brows would be if he were human raised as he cocked his head to the side before removing his hand from the soldier's mouth. "I'm listening. This better be good. Or else..." he showed his fist and shook it in his direction.
The soldier gulped. "W-well...I've been researching various forms of media and as it turns out...Earth women love "romantic" media! I'm sure you can .."persuade" her through various Earth alien romantic male gestures!" he explained,wincing at the very thought of being pummeled by him.
Dadaan looked taken aback at first. He had tried every conceivable way to win, and had failed consistently,each time becoming humiliated. "Hm. Perhaps your plan is not so bad. I trick her through..."romance" and then get my revenge. I will take back the pride she has stolen from me once and for all!" he jolted upwards to stand on his feet,placing his hands on his hips and gave a hearty, masculine laugh. "This might be easier than I thought. I am Dadaan, the strongest,handsomest Prone. That alone should give me some leverage. Come, puny Prone man, show me these "romance" movies at once!".
The Strongest Prone (TM) had watched over 50 movies from some era called the 90s. Some rom coms, some romance, and they all had the same woman with the same hair, for a long,long time. "What is the meaning of this!? I saw this already!" he said to himself. North American film was confusing back then. Regardless, he took notes , grumbling, but taking them nonetheless.
After extensive research of the human Earth Alien mind through various movie watching, he hadn't felt this exhausted since Prone University. He turned off the program on his device and tried his best to get some rest. His mind was all over the place,from wanting to get to bed,to perfecting his plan,exacting his revenge. Eventually,he finally got some rest for the night.
The next Miran morning, the rays of sun beamed through the window where he slept. He woke up immediately afterwards and fired up his communication device to give orders. They were to meet him at a designated area early in the morning for "special training" in regards to his attack. "She should be here any minute now to farm goods from us.". He grumbled. "How many swords does one person need anyway? At this point , she's the villain." .
Dadaan got up to meet up with the rest of his platoon outside, his hand creating shade for his eyes as he awaits for very violent machinery to come and blast them away. Sometimes it worked gloriously, other times he was able to blow up their skells if they didn't get out in time.
The humming from the jets of the four skells gradually lowered as they all descended near a shallow pond ,the clanking sounds from the legs of their mechs touching the dusty grounds sharp and crisp.
Dadaan had lined up his squad right on time, and cleared his throat for another fine threat of blowing up their machinery if they didn't hurry up and get out of them. "Ahem! Get out of that-"
The centered member of the Skell Squad interrupted, stopping him in his tracks by hopping out of her skell beforehand. There stood a woman of comparatively short stature, dressed in a simple uniform issued navy blue tank top, baggy white work pants,and black work boots, carrying a a bulky sword and an assault rifle on her back.
The second skell to her right, emerged a man with short, feathery blonde hair and a peanut buttery complexion, adorned with a wicked facial tattoo. His eyes were a wolf-like green, with a gruff look to match. He donned a similar attire to the centered pilot—only a red tank top and black work pants. His hand was clasped tightly on the handle of his glowing photon saber, eyes glaring in their opponent's direction.
Finally,the to her left, a man with dark, short, chocolaty brown hair dressed in a green tank top with white work pants and black work boots. He stood confidently as he held a massive white shield , his piercing green eyes stared down the opponent through those thick black rimmed glasses. The young man had a cocksure attitude about him that could make anyone around him gag as an opponent—his aura screamed "I am currently looking down on you and will likely never stop.".
The final pilot to the very end of the other two men, emerged a rather innocent, awkward looking man with fluffy blonde hair draped over one part of his face. He nearly stumbled out of his skell, his cheeks red with embarrassment before putting on his serious face as he pulled out two of his glowing dual blades. His dewy blue eyes looked a bit nervous, but remained on the opponent.
Feeling slighted after being cut off, Dadaan growled lowly and pointed in her directions. "Earth Alien Tina! Do NOT cut me off when I am in mid-threat!"
The soldier chuckled and pointed her blade in his direction. "Heyy Dadaan!~ Ready for a good old Blade Beatdown for old times sake!?" she taunted.
The man with the glasses and shield tilted his head and muttered to her. "You promised you were going to let me do the trash talking." he sucked his teeth.
"Aww, sorry H.B., I guess I just can't help taunting this guy." she laughed and kept her eyes on her opponent. "Wait a second...where's your squad?" she raised those quasi thick black brows of hers,puzzled. The platoon wasn't in their usual placement, alongside his capable groupie soldiers.
Dadaan simply made a gesture to signal his troops in. It was the usual, gruff,gargantuan bunch ...but they appeared to be in...bow ties and top hats? The buff and tough Prone cleared his throat, into as raised his tree trunk arm in the air to use his fingers to count down. "In five, four, three, two,one!"
The soldiers in the background began singing rather smoothly in harmony.
The Toughest In Charge, cleared his throat.
"Earth Alien, Earth Alien, will you be mine?
My darling dear, love you all the time" he belted out lowly,his deep singing voice resembling a mixture of a Canadian moose and a shoddy washing machine on the spin cycle. Somewhere in between the singing,he found the melody. He swayed his bulky arms, as if he were dancing, snapping his thick fingers rhythmically along side his backup singer/warrior hybrids.
The look on Yelv's face had grown more amused the more the enemy sang to her. Phog's hair hid those worried eyebrows from view,only revealing those puppy-dog ,icy eyes wincing for the inevitable outcome. Somehow, out of nowhere, H.B. pulled out a folded chair and unfolded it, sat down, and drank from a flask,shaking his head in disbelief and amusement.
Dadaan's eyes shifted in response to her teammates' reactions, but he belted out awkwardly until the end of the song. His eyes then looked at Earth Alien Christina, raising a non existent brow as she stood there, eerily silent. He slowly leaned to the side of his puny assistant that aided him in this newfound plan. "Uh, the Earth Alien's face looks rather...odd. Her..."nose" is flaring, and she keeps staring at me. What does that mean in Earth Alien body language?" he whispered. The puniest prone Prone ,who helped him devise such a genius,impenetrable plan,pondered a bit. "Hmm..Ah! From my findings on a piece of broken White Whale, when a woman Earthling's nose flares up, it means she's taking in your masculinity . You're practically exuding masculine pheromones into her body and she's reacting positively!" he folded his arms and nodded to himself.
"Her jaw is tightening and her lips are making this weird upside down look." he whispered again. His super genius tactician responded proudly. "Oh,that just means she's aroused by your posture. Yep!" he nodded again to himself.
"Uhhh,she's coming towards us with her gun!" Dadaan spoke,his voice raising an octave or three.
Although she approached with her gun,seamlessly and swiftly, there were no gun shots to be heard. It was an array of seemingly endless assault hammers. Assault hammers here, assault hammers there, assault hammers everywhere. Phog lifted his hand to cover his eye,peeking during the less loud ,and crunchy parts, Yelv was bought to tears , and HB simply shook his head at the outcome of his idiotic plan. The rest of the Prone scrambled if they weren't rifle whipped into oblivion, leaving a lone Dadaan out to fend for his own collapsing, large frame until he was incapacitated.
After defeating the Silliest Prone and his lackeys, Tina said not a word. Her cheeks were puffed with rage, her mouth scrunched,and the bridge of her nose crinkled. She stomped her feet on the way to her skell,kicking up the dust underneath her. Her three comrades followed her lead. Once inside, the Outfitter tapped into her communication panel to call in with her crew.
"HB, Yelv..." she spoke softly.
"Yes?" the two replied.
"I don't wanna hear a single PEEP out of ya'll about this, ya hear!? This better not get into New Los Angeles territory! I'm DEAD SERIOUS!" she warned, her
southern accent shining through with each sentence. Yelv's barely contained laughter balled up into a crunchy cough, leading into a slow,hissing wheeze as he wiped the tears from his eyes. HB turned his head to cover up his amusement, he was more at risk of getting in trouble for laughing than any of the two. Tina promptly turned off the communication. She had enough for today, and maybe even tomorrow,and murmured expletives all the way back to NLA.