The next morning, Peach woke up with a content smile. Her wedding and reception went so smoothly! Although, she couldn't remember the reception too well. Perhaps the massive flood of relief made her forget most of it? Or maybe the unbelief of being a newlywed factored in.
Or, maybe she's on her honeymoon already? Those were supposed to be exciting enough to forget half the previous day. She fantasized about Mario laying on the other side of the bed, in a coastal-front, five-star hotel in Water Land; their covers offered protection as the salty air and the merciless sun threatened the elegant room.
She reached her arm towards the other side of the bed. She couldn't feel Mario; only the bed's plump mattress. Peach sniffed the air. The salty, yet fresh aroma didn't greet her, but only smoke and brimstone. Although foreign, she acclimated to the combination.
Her heartbeat escalated, and her eyes snapped open. A pink room imprisoned her. She gasped for the rotten air as horror and helplessness coursed through her shaky bones. She felt the room's walls close in on her and mock her fate.
She's in Bowser's castle.
Peach jumped from bed, opened the door and peeked out. No guards patrolled the hallway.
"What?" Peach gasped. She always had two koopatrols guard her door, and several more roamed the hallways. The situation didn't sit right with the princess.
She exited her room and strolled down the hallway. From her countless imprisonments, she never took the time to realize its décor. Unlike her red, pink and white-themed castle, Bowser's took on a grey, brown and black ambience. Menacing spikes and Bowser statues contrasted her benevolent hearts and stars. Peach can't understand why Bowser always kidnapped her and tried keeping her here. This place is too foreign and unlike her to relax.
Or, maybe opposites do attract?
Naaaaah.
Peach tried ignoring the terrible decorations. A more vital task lay ahead of her: finding Bowser.
A massive oak door stood at the end of the hallway, easily double her height and triple her girth. Fear coursed through her as the seemingly-random designs within the wood haunted her. Peach's hand rested on the doorknob; the metal's iciness contrasted the sweltering heat around her. She turned the knob and pushed open the heavy door.
The room's decorations rivaled the hallway's atrocity. Carpet donned the floor, bleeding crimson as it supported a bone-themed king-sized bed against its will. The sulfuric aroma intensified, as if hell itself surrounded her. Amid the menacing decorations stood a stunned Bowser.
"Bowser Koopa!" Peach shouted, "We have things to talk about!"
"We do?" Bowser eyed her, "Did you decide to marry me?"
Only now did the princess realize her wardrobe. Throughout her heightened emotions, she didn't notice her wedding dress still draped her body.
"No! Never! Don't even say that! That's gross! And don't even mention my wedding dress! That's on you!" Peach scolded, "And yes, darn right we have stuff to talk about! Don't you know where I'm supposed to be?!"
Bowser nodded, "Of course. You're supposed to be with Mario."
"Exactly! So why did you plan to kidnap me?!" her anxiety fizzled away, and a rare bout of wrath filled the void, "And why on my wedding day, you dolt?!"
"Peach," Bowser sighed, "I actually didn't plan to kidnap you. Blame my bratpack for that. I only found out about their plan from Lemmy, and that was after they caught you."
Silence fell on the two as Peach processed the information; whenever Bowser had kidnapped her, he boasted nonstop about it. That didn't happen this trip. Maybe for once in his life, Bowser's telling the truth?
"Okay," Peach questioned, "So let's say you're telling the truth, which I don't fully believe. Why wouldn't you want to kidnap me?"
"Because..." Bowser sighed again, "I just... can't."
"Can't? You've been doing it for years!"
Bowser shook his head as he looked down. Peach almost felt pity at his defeated demeanor.
"Things change…" he mumbled, "Look, I actually didn't want you kidnapped, but when my kids decided to anyway, I kept you unguarded for Mario to come, yet he hasn't yet. That fulfills the prophecy already."
"Prophecy?" Peach questioned, this time in curiosity, "What do you mean?"
"You won't believe it. It's a prophecy from medieval koopa lore. So far the majority of all the stories and proverbs occurred, and from the looks of it, Mario's prophecy will make its way in there."
"How is our wedding prophesied?" Peach asked. She believed the story, but her intuition told her otherwise, "You know what? You got me there for a second, Koopa. Great job on the lying, but it didn't last."
Peach turned to the door, but paused when Bowser yelled, "Wait!"
"What?"
Peach faced Bowser, who held onto a medium-sized book. She gave him a suspicious look before she glanced at the tome.
"Here's a book on Koopan prophecy," he offered, "It won't mean much to you, but whatever. I can't remember where the wedding's at, but it's in there. Read it whenever you can, if you ever plan to."
"Hmmph."
Peach grabbed the book from Bowser and browsed through the pages. Elegant cursive swarmed the smooth pages—something she didn't expect from a brutal empire. Maps, statuettes and portraits accompanied each prophecy's introduction; each indicated whether the prophecy would occur in the Koopa Kingdom itself or within its neighbors' territories.
Without another word, Peach left Bowser's room, carrying the book with her. She journeyed down the hall and reentered her room. She tossed the book onto the room's study desk, where the book mixed with the countless other dated tomes. There's no way some old Koopas from centuries ago would've predicted her wedding, right? But maybe she'll give it a read if Mario doesn't become a hero for the ten-thousandth time quick enough.
Ludwig lounged on the family room's couch, his claws cusped around his forehead. He looked up; his three other conspirators expressed similar signs of defeat. Bile filled his throat and his other claw clenched as he noticed Roy's snarky grin. He turned away from Roy, knowing any altercation with him won't be worth any more punishment.
"Man, I can't believe we got in trouble," Wendy sniffled, "Like seriously, you guys don't know how devastating this is for me! I was totally ready for Europe!"
"And my titanium!" Iggy joined in.
"I can't believe Dad dragged me along!" Lemmy wept.
Remorse for his siblings flooded within Ludwig, specifically Lemmy. Ludwig knew Lemmy blamed himself for the failure, but the eldest couldn't accept that as fact. If Roy's smirk indicated anything, something more sinister must've occurred.
"Zat plot vas perfect. How did it fail?" he questioned the rest of the group. Although he didn't expect an answer, Larry snapped from his blank stare and answered.
"I know how."
"You do? Do tell, Lawrence," Ludwig commanded. The three other kidnappers gave Larry their full attention.
"Well, okay... While you guys were gone, it went like this..."
-x-
Larry lounged on the living room's large, ten-seater couch, sucked into a Koopa spy thriller. Towards the end of the movie, Lemmy rolled into the room, followed by Bowser. Bowser sat besides Larry while Lemmy stood before the duo.
"Larry! I'm gonna show you and Dad some tricks!" Lemmy exclaimed, his excitement near contagious.
Groaning to himself, Larry paused the movie and shut off the television. He didn't care about Lemmy's tricks, but the innocent cheers softened Larry enough to pay Lemmy some mind.
"Okay, nice. Show us," Larry rushed.
Lemmy rolled in his ball—a forest-green beach ball plastered with golden stars—and stood on the ball with one foot. The koopaling hopped on the ball and alternated between landing on the ball with his right and left foot.
'Sheesh, why was Iggy's nickname Hop, and not Lemmy's?' Larry thought.
Lemmy then did a handstand on the ball, spun around and landed back on the ball, still intact.
"Wow. Nice one, Son!" Bowser exclaimed with more enthusiasm than Larry. He even clapped after the achievement, while Larry unleashed a gesture just short of an applause.
"Thanks Dad! Now… I've been practicing this next trick for months, and I think I perfected it! Watch!"
Lemmy started with a one-hand handstand on the ball, then pulled out three mini balls and a steel rod from his shell. On his other hand, the jester balanced the three balls and rested the steel rod on top of the stack. Lemmy threw the stack into the air and switched to having both feet on the ball. He reached out his hands to catch the balls, but a slam threw off the acrobat's concentration. He fell off the ball and landed on the hardwood floor with a thud. Three balls and the rod whacked him on the head before they scurried away.
"Dangit! I had it too!" the frustrated koopaling groaned. Larry shrugged before turning towards the commotion's source. Roy and Morton stood in the room's doorway, both smirking as they stared back.
"Ayy Lar, figured you'd be out dere spying' on da Mushroomers for Lud," Roy greeted, his smirk still in place.
"Spying on Mushroomers?" Bowser questioned, intrigued by the developing conversation, "For what?"
Larry sighed, "I don't know, Dad. Everyone always blames me for stuff because I'm the Spy, and they think I'm involved in everything because… Guess what… I'm the Spy!"
"Larry's probably not involved," Morton agreed, "But don't you tally your kids, Dad? Haven't you heard from Ludwig today? Wendy? Iggy?"
Larry's eyes widened as Bowser pondered the day's events. He noticed a sudden realization within his father before a determined demeanor befell him.
"I haven't. Where are they?!" Bowser almost demanded, "Are they kidnapping the Princess?!"
"No, they went to bake cookies at the homeless shelter," Morton rolled his eyes, "Of course they went to kidnap her! What else would they be out for? They tried to get Roy here involved, but he dipped out. I didn't even get asked so I don't know much about it-"
"And Lem here was supposed to throw you off!" Roy cut Morton off, his smirk growing by the second, "Better get to dat Mushroom Kingdom, Pops!"
Smoke blew from Bowser's nostrils when the news broke to him. Larry and Lemmy stared at their father in fear while Morton and Roy shook their heads at them in a how-dare-you fashion before they left the lounge.
"Do you guys STUDY ANYTHING?!" the castle's west wing shook from Bowser's roar, "Peach is NOT to be kidnapped when she's MARRIED! THAT'S WHAT THE PROPHECIES SAY! That's the last step until the end of the Koopa Kingdom!"
Larry and Lemmy stood, shocked. Neither knew a prophecy existed; to be fair, none of the koopalings studied that sector of knowledge. They've all been bred to kidnap; to have a red light on such actions almost seemed foreign.
"NOW WHERE ARE THEY?!" Bowser roared again.
In fear, Lemmy rambled on, "Errtheywenttopeach'scastletomakeherandtheguestspassout!"
"SAY THAT AGAIN! IF I WANTED TO HEAR FAST TALKING, I'D MOVE TO DESERT LAND!"
"Uhh, they went to Peach's castle, and uhh, they're planning on, uhh, having her, uhh, pass out at the, uhh, reception, with, uhh, the other guests!" Lemmy explained, overcome by his nerves.
"I wasn't involved in this, King Dad," Larry added, a bit of fright peppered into his voice. He bowed to his father in fear and jetted upstairs.
-x-
"Yep, so after that, I ran upstairs and told you guys through the walkie-talkie, but you guys rejected me and continued on with the plan anyway," Larry explained.
Unimpressed, Ludwig scowled at his youngest brother.
"Vhy didn't you tell us ze reason to stop? Ve'd retreated if you did!"
"Yeah! And that was before I threw the bombs!" Iggy added.
"Look what you did, Larry! You TOTALLY destroyed my chances of going to Europe!" Wendy cried, "It's all YOUR fault! And Roy's and Morton's!"
"Really now? Because you four are to blame. Because of you guys, soon I'll no longer be a prince!" Morton spoke up from the floor, earning a nod in agreement from Roy and Larry.
"Oh, hold zat blasphemous tongue of yours, Morton," Ludwig rolled his eyes, "Fazzer's exaggerating. Ve'd probably get into a var, but I doubt Peach, or Mario, or anyvun in zat kingdom vould take over Dark Land. Vhy vould zey now vhen zey had ze opportunity to for so long?"
"I just hope you're right," Lemmy hoped, "I'll miss my training area if we're no longer royalty!"
"Ludwig's right, as much as it pains me to say," Roy admits, "Mario's not gonna overthrow Peach. I KNOW he won't. Mario's not dis dumb prophesy target thing. I hate dat man's guts from da past, but he won't take over Peach. But you dudes just need to take care of all da bull you dudes caused, and it'd be straight."
"Roy, don't act all innocent," Ludwig rebutted, "You schemed to kidnap Peach too. Don't even fabricate a tale. Furzzermore, you outed us. You are ze reason ve're in trouble."
"Planning and actually doing it are two different words. Look dem up, Mister Lexicon. Plus, I ain't in trouble, pal, neither is Morty or Larry. We control ourselves."
A growl escaped Ludwig's throat, but he continued glaring at Roy, who threatened him.
"Why ya grillin' me, punk?! You better watch dem beady eyes before they get skewered! You don't wanna take it dere!"
Ludwig broke his stare; he instead glanced at the five other koopalings, who didn't dare utter a word. The eldest understood their silence; they all hated being involved in any dilemma between him and Roy. Instead, Ludwig parroted the others' thoughts.
"Ve'll settle zat later. For now, ve have more important matters in our hands zan Roy's temper tantrums. First off, vhere is ze Princess? Is she still here? And how exactly does her being kidnapped after marriage lead to ze destruction of ze Koopa Kingdom?"
Each koopaling pondered the situation. How did it make sense? Maybe it's a mere superstition and not an actual prophecy?
"Wow! Uhh, not sure on any of that," Lemmy offered, "But we should ask King Dad about this stuff. You saw what happened when we go out on our own."
"Valid point, dear Brozzer. Ve shall recognize vhat Fazzer articulated vunce he's... Available."
Before any other koopalings offered their opinions, they all heard the faint call of "Dinner!" from the residential chef. All seven dashed from the lounge at once, none wanted to be the last to the dining room.
Peach lay on her bed, oblivious to everything going on around her. Her life in the Mushroom Kingdom; oh, how she misses it. Even if less than 24 hours elapsed since her kidnapping, she couldn't take her mind off it.
She couldn't get over the reception. She didn't remember it, but she didn't doubt that Bowser—or his kids—trashed the reception while they kidnapped her. Oh, how foolish she'll look when she returns! She couldn't even save herself at a gathering of dozens of wealthy and powerful people! How can she be trusted with millions of lives as a ruler?
And what happened to all the attendees? Did anyone witness her kidnapping?
Her mind drifted from the reception to Mario. How's Mario faring with the news? Did he even know she's kidnapped?
She blushed as she brought up fantasies of the honeymoon trip she's supposed to be on today. She and Mario running on the beaches of Water Land, hurling wet sandballs at each other, then diving into the cool, soothing waters to swim with—and even ride—the dolphins there. She could even feel the Sun's heat.
Other than the beach, she'd love to eat at Water Land's five-star seafood restaurants and try anything from their world-famous cheep cheep dinners to the exotic lungefish and lockjaw fishes they import from Yoshi's Island and the DK Isles. Both the seafood restaurants and the boardwalks made Water Land Peach's dream vacation spot.
And now, because of Bowser, she couldn't go.
Peach snapped from her thoughts when she heard pounding on her door. She grumbled, now noticing her reality to be the pink-painted room with the faint sulfur smell and not the open, salty air of paradise. She opened the door, where a koopatrol stood guard.
"Your Majesty," the koopatrol bowed to her. Multiple red flags rose in Peach's head; she's never received abuse from the Koopa Troop, but they also didn't address her as a princess. Maybe the koopatrol didn't receive the memo, she thought.
"Uhh, hey," Peach replied after the silent bout, "What now?"
"The Royal Family is having their dinner shortly. Would you care to join them?"
Something must be going on. She's also fed well at Bowser's castle, but they've never invited her to their dinners either. But, since she's given the opportunity and Mario's not here to save her yet, she may as well enjoy a dinner or two with the family.
"What's on the menu?"
"Cheep cheep and ostro," the koopatrol responded, "I think some kinds of vegetables too. Not sure."
Cheep cheep? She should try some and compare it to Water Land's once she's out of this dreaded castle.
"Sure," Peach smiled, "I'd be blessed to tag along."
"Well, okay," the koopatrol reflected Peach's earlier shock, but tried to disguise the emotion, "Follow me."
In the castle's dining room, Bowser and the seven koopalings sat at a large table complete with eight chairs in the middle and two end chairs. The table's elegant, as if crafted by hand from the highest-quality wood and gilded with 24-carat gold. Of course, the family didn't care about the table itself, but only the resources it held: countless baskets, bowls and plates packed with high-quality, royal-standard food. Each koopaling wanted a giant hunk of cheep cheep or ostro on their plate complete with sides, but every time one would reach over to fill up their empty plate, Bowser would clear his throat.
"Wait. The Princess is joining us," he added to the throat-clearing every time, "So behave, especially when she comes here."
About ten minutes later, the koopalings were murmuring before a koopatrol entered the room, Peach in tow and still in her wedding dress.
"Welcome, Peach," Bowser greeted. He smirked once again at her plumped wedding dress.
"Peach!" Lemmy cheered, "Are you marrying my dad?!"
Peach groaned at the question. She needs this dress off her. It's becoming her bad luck charm, and she missed her stereotypical pink dress. She also felt safer in it due to the blue gem on its chest; her parents claimed it's an important tool she should only 'use' in life-threatening emergencies. Peach never understood what that meant, but the promise of safety provided her security.
"No, I'm not marrying your dad. I'm in a wedding dress because you guys kidnapped me during my reception," Peach haughtily answered.
She noticed that the six younger koopalings turned to Ludwig, each glaring at him. Ludwig shrugged in response.
"You vere vulnerable, and I zought Fazzer vanted you here."
"Which I didn't," Bowser butted in, also glaring at him, "But welcome."
"Gee, thanks for the welcome," Peach grumbled. She sat at the end of the table opposing Bowser, with Wendy on one side and the empty chair on the other.
"It's just the whole situation. Not you yourself," Bowser reassured, "Anyway, as we do here, Peach and Wendy dish up first."
Peach stared in awe as Wendy got up from her seat and grabbed a cheep cheep. Amid the rumours of koopas being a chaotic, evil and selfish species, Peach found the use of chivalry to be a nice, needed exception, even if it only occurred at the dinner table. Not only did Bowser enforce that, but the six male koopalings didn't utter a complaint. Perhaps the negative stereotypes of koopas the mushroomers used may be an overstep.
When Wendy sat down, Peach started dishing her plate. She took a cheep cheep and a small slice of ostro before she added a spoonful of mashed potatoes, some gravy, and a vegetable mix serving. Peach returned to her seat, her helping larger than her typical serving at her castle.
Returning the courtesy, Peach waited until the male koopalings and Bowser got their food before she picked up her fork.
"Now," Bowser called out, "Let's eat!"
Peach stabbed the cheep cheep meat with her fork before cutting off a little slab of it. Though fearful of the tender meat, she put the meat in her mouth.
Ever since she remembered, she'd been told about the horrendous cooking that came from koopas. Mushroomers, and even her own parents, carried on negative stereotypes about the koopas' cooking, such as they use stray animals, and that their food is anything but quality.
But the cheep cheep defied all those stereotypes. The cheep cheep didn't have a fishy taste at all, but a salty, lemony tinge. It could be the cheep cheep itself—she never ate one before—but it may be the koopas' true cooking. Her conclusions support the latter option—she survived their other meals.
As she chewed, Peach noticed Bowser smirking at her. Embarrassed, she stared back at her plate.
"Is this from Water Land? Because this totally tastes gourmet!" Wendy complimented. Today must be Shocking-Peach Day; she never witnessed Wendy complimenting someone in her life. Wendy looked at her and grinned, "Peach, you seriously need to live here. The food has, like, competition with your fungus's cooking!"
"I'll think about it," Peach mentioned. Although she agreed with Wendy's food assessment, Peach married Mario, and she's the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. She didn't belong in her nemesis's kingdom, let alone his castle.
"If zat kingdom of yours prevents you from visiting, ve can alvays arrange another kidnapping trip," Ludwig offered, resulting in a head-shaking from his father.
"Since you all kidnapped me after my reception, this is my honeymoon. They say honeymoons shouldn't be repeated," Peach explained.
"Vell... Can't say I didn't try."
Other than conversational fillers such as "How was your day?" and "How many plants does it take to get ten kilos of carrots?", to which Larry and Iggy argued about the precise number, the rest of dinner proved uneventful. Peach savored the last slab of the fish; she hoped that the authentic cheep cheeps in Water Land would be just as flavourful.
The ostro meat wasn't bad, although nothing to write home about compared to the fish she had. As she wasn't an ostro-meat kind of person, even a 'meh' qualified as a compliment. Peach finished the carrots and broccoli when she looked up and saw only Bowser at the table.
"Wow, your children are silent when they leave," Peach glossed over the eight empty chairs.
Bowser scowled in return. "Silent? They made a racket. I think you were just fantasizing about something."
"Like that fish?" Peach questioned, "I admit, you threw me off with that one. You know the rumors about koopas not being able to cook."
"I do. We have the same rumour in Dark Land about mushroomers and how they flavor their meat by letting it sit on the counter overnight with a dead rat."
"Which we don't do, by the way," Peach added, "But from that cheep cheep, I could debunk your stereotypes too."
Bowser grinned at the compliment, but before he uttered anything, Peach raised her hand.
"BUT!" she exclaimed, "Don't get your hopes up for anything, because when Mario comes, I'm not coming back at all. Not willfully."
"Of course," Bowser sighs, "We all know that."
Peach downed the last of her vegetables and ignored the rejected ostro cuts on her plate. She hesitated on whether to leave her plate at the table as the Koopalings did, or to bring it into the kitchen.
"Just leave the plate," Bowser said, seeming to read her mind, "Also, just curious. Want to go on a tour of the castle? We've never done that even though you can't finish up every other Wednesday without coming here."
Peach rolled her eyes, "Yeah, and whose fault is that?"
"Okay, okay! I had my reasons! Sheesh, quit the interrogating!"
"You give me a hard time by kidnapping you, and I'll strive to give you a hard time back," Peach giggled before replying, "Yeah, show me around. I need more things to have nightmares about."
"Oh c'mon, it's not that bad! If anything it'll be a dream come true."
Peach bursted out laughing at the statement, and Bowser also gave off a few laughs. Neither knew why they found the statement to be hysterical, but they also didn't care.
A few seconds later, Peach cooled down, "Dream come true, huh? Well quit standing there and show me around!"