There are probably three things I'll admit to being scared of, if you ask.
1. Freaky ass spiders. Too many legs. They're furry. Webs waiting right across the front door. Arukenimon ruined them for me. I swear I used to have a daddy-long-leg as a pet until Jun squashed him. I still haven't forgiven her even though they give me the creeps now.
Oddly Arukenimon didn't bother me when she was handing us our asses, but every time I see one of her brethren crawling at me, I imagine it's her, coming back from whatever Digital Hell she's been suffering in to crawl into my ear and lay babies.
2. Not knowing. I really don't like not knowing things. It freaks me out. And here, in this place, I don't know shit.
3. Rejection. In the dark it's hard to see, but it's pelting me, over and over again.
And I'm honestly frickin sick of it now.
Chapter Five
Caught in the Rain
Izzy was in his room. A bed was made up neatly in the center, the yellow comforter tweaked where Tentomon liked to rest. A window on the first floor let in a light breeze, just enough to keep him awake. Humming on the opposite wall, a custom computer ran lines of code.
Even squinting, Izzy found it undecipherable, just rows upon rows of gibberish. Whatever code he had written must have been obliterated by…
He blinked, feeling a sort of heavy haziness behind his eyes. Had that picture on the dresser always been there? He couldn't make out the exact expression on the faces. The mug that kept an assortment of pens on his desk was faded and blurry - what did it say again? Tai had gave it to him and spent half the day laughing about how brilliant it was. He had been so proud he understood the joke that Izzy hadn't had the heart to say it wasn't really a programming thing.
His hand reached to touch it and metal cut into his wrist.
"Vivid."
The voice broke into his room and tore it apart.
Darkness seeped in, fading the edges of his vision until it was gone.
"Who's there?" Izzy asked. His voice croaked and echoed back at him. He felt cold and sore, like he had been in the same position for hours.
Heavy clicks scraped across a stone floor, but there was no light to see. Izzy could hear them coming closer.
"The world has begun," the voice rasped, blasting hot rancid breath across Izzy's cheek, making him flinch. "A masterpiece that could have never been without our collaboration. Digimon and human, joined as one."
Izzy's head spun, but before he could ask questions, the low scraping of claws on stone faded and the heavy sound of a closing door filled the dark. His mind raced, filled with possibilities. He gave his hands a violent tug and felt his elbows snap as they met the resistance of chains.
"Help!" Izzy yanked at his restraints until everything hurt. Muscles sore and skin torn, he gave up, exhausted and panting.
It was only then, in the silence of the dark, that he heard the sound of heavy breaths that weren't his own.
...
...
Bright light slipped into memory. One by one, they came to the surface, rising from the best and worst parts of his mind - pulled by a hypnotist without words. It was like their journey to the dark, where his soul was ripped from his body, only this time he was still painfully aware of the dull throb in his brow while he relived the past.
.~*~~**~~*~.
The desolate cityscape is bleak and silent. It almost looks like a normal dreary day.
I try to imagine I'm on a field trip to the see the world's monuments. Except they're all in one place, like Disney without all the people; the things of textbooks, tucked between high rises. For some reason this version of the Eiffel tower seems smaller than the one in France. I stare for a long time at the colosseum and roman statues, the tower of Pisa, leaning.
I'm searching for monsters emerging from the stones.
It's hard to forget the Dark Masters are after us, striking while we're apart. I try not to think about Matt. I'm not a baby anymore.
I reach to touch Patamon's nose as I turn from the window. He's somehow sleeping on my hat again and he feels heavy as I walk, finding my way to Kari's side. She's lying so still, somehow both pale and flushed at once, silky strands sticking in pieces to her forehead. She seems really sick. I try to look brave because I think that's what Tai would want.
He put me in charge even though Sora's older. I don't want to let him down.
Sora presses a cool compress on Kari's forehead. Gatomon curls up beside her like a common housecat, concern etched across her strangely expressive face. When I take another step forward, Kari's eyes open and a small, sweet smile tugs at her mouth.
"How are you feeling?" Sora asks, running a hand over the Kari's sweat-soaked hair.
Kari strokes Gatomon's ears and the digimon relaxes. "I'm fi-" A coughing fit consumes her.
"Let me get you some water." Sora leaves the room, Biyomon trailing behind. I can hear them whispering.
Tai and Izzy have been gone a long time.
I take Sora's chair. "Don't worry," I say. My feet begin to thump, back and forth against the legs. "Tai's gonna be back with some medicine for you real soon."
Recovered from her coughing fit, Kari smiles again. "Thanks, TK."
It is at that moment, for the first time, with her sick and red, that I really think someone is beautiful. I mean, sure, my mom and Mimi and Sora are all pretty, but for some reason, this is different. I grip the edge of my seat as heat rushes to my cheeks.
Patamon's ears raise, suddenly awake and silent.
"I'm going to take care of you, Kari," I say. I'm not even sure why, but I know it's true. And I don't mean until Tai returns. I mean always.
Her eyes glisten with fever and joy.
.~*~~**~~*~.
When TK opened his, it was like they had never left.
He would never forget the drab interior of the mansion inside Machinedramon's city. The museum-like linens, so perfect they looked like they should be viewed from behind a velvet rope. He half expected to find Kari still lying under the covers, sick.
Ken's voice cut through the silence. "Where are we?" Fingers pressed his temple, his face twisted and pale. He looked ill.
"This is Digiworld," Sora said, sounding unsure.
Tai started pacing back and forth along the marble floors. "But this was all destroyed by Machinedramon and his henchmen. It shouldn't exist."
Matt was peering out the same window that TK had kept watch out of all those years ago. "Is that the Eiffel Tower?" He sounded only partially surprised.
Tai joined him at the window. "Yeah, crazy, right?" He pointed to the Roman Colosseum and shouted, "SPARTACUS!"
"What about the others?" Kari asked, eyes flickering to TK.
He pulled his D-3 out of his pocket to avoid looking. "It's just us," he said. "They're gone."
"Damn it," Tai muttered. "We shouldn't have left them." His fist clenched tightly as he continued to stare at the city.
Matt placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find them again, Tai," he said, "and Izzy."
Tai nodded and took a deep breath. A half-hearted grin replaced the frown on his face. "I guess I should come up with a plan."
They waited expectantly before his expression fell again. "It'd help if I knew why we were here. Or where here really is."
"You don't think this is really Digiworld?" Sora asked.
"If this city was destroyed in the digital world then either someone rebuilt it..." Ken's voice trailed off. He'd finally removed his hand from his head, but he still looked in pain.
"Or we're somewhere else," TK finished.
"Izzy's program?" asked Tai.
TK's gaze wandered to Kari. She knew the significance of this place. He remembered asking her if she'd remembered once: if she could tell at nine that he was already in love with her. She stared at him now, her bright eyes begging for forgiveness.
"I remembered this," he admitted, tearing his gaze away. "It felt like someone was…" The wound seemed too fresh, like claws tearing in his mind.
TK took a breath. "I think this is my memory."
Instead of questioning him, everyone fell silent. TK wondered if they thought he was crazy.
Ken spoke first. "I felt it too." His hand was pressed against his head again. "For all our sakes, I'm glad we're in your memory and not mine."
...
.~*~~**~~*~.
I stand on the shore, surrounded by friends and alone.
Joe and Ikkakumon are fading across a colorless lake, on some stupid journey of self-discovery while I stand here, not knowing what to do next. I feel helpless and I hate feeling that way. I give the murky sand an angry kick.
I'm used to getting my way and he told me no.
"Mimi? Are you okay?" Palmon's big green eyes stare up at me. I start to cry.
"Why do boys have to be so stupid?" I sweep the back of my glove under my eyes, trying to stop the tears.
Palmon stares at me and I kind of hate how well she knows me. "Are you talking about Joe?"
"No!" I say, stomping my foot like I'm still four. "Not just him! Boys! Why do they always have to go 'find themselves'? They aren't lost, they're just stupid!"
Palmon's flower quivers in confusion.
"They always have to prove something," I continue, words spilling along my hiccuping cries. I want to curl into a ball and hit something. "They always have to fight."
"Oh, Mimi." Palmon wraps her vine-like hands around me.
"I know that I left everyone so we wouldn't have to fight, but…" Mist has swallowed Joe and Ikkakumon, leaving nothing visible but fog. My voice cowers in my throat. "I don't want to be alone."
Palmon's vines turn inward, resting on her little green hips. I wonder if she learned that from me.
"I'm here!" she says. "And so are all your other friends!" She gestures to the other digimon who are burying the broken eggs in Primary Village.
The devastation takes hold. All those poor babies… I nod and try to pull myself together. "You're right, Palmon. Thank you for staying with me."
I turn from the lake and follow her to the burial ground.
A geckomon comes racing to my side. His slimy hand would have bothered me once, but now I take it in my palm. It feels real, even if it's gross.
"Don't worry, Princess Mimi," he says. "They'll be reborn again."
I nod in silence and feel guilty that the deaths of the digimon aren't the cause of my tears.
.~*~~**~~*~.
The lake was still gray.
Joe stood by her side and it seemed to take him longer than usual to unlace their fingers. He gave Mimi's hand another silent squeeze before letting go.
"Who could have done this?"
Cody's voice was shocked and angry. Mimi turned to see him staring in disbelief at the ruins of Primary Village. Digieggs lied in pieces, smashed in, the monumental building blocks were ragged and overturned, and the school for baby and in-training digimon was in ruins. All was gray.
Joe swallowed heavily. "The Dark Masters," he said. "But they're gone. Right?"
"I don't think we're in the digital world," Mimi said. Silence surrounded them. There were no digimon burying their dead; not even the sound of small animals scurrying in the forest.
"Mimi?" Joe touched her shoulder. "You're crying."
She wiped tears from her cheeks, pulling away fingertips stained with mascara. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"What do you mean we're not in the digital world?" Cody asked. He was clearly distraught at the sight before him. Anyone would be. The bright, cheerful birthplace of digimon was monochrome and filled with death.
"I dreamt about this," Mimi explained. "That light and then so many memories… Is this an illusion? Like Devimon's hotel?"
Joe and Cody glanced at each other for a brief moment as if they were sharing the same thought. Mimi wiped away the remainder of her tears.
"This is awful," Cody finally said.
Joe's gaze had shifted back to Mimi. "It is."
"What happened to everyone else, Cody?" Mimi asked. "Do you think they're here too?"
He looked at his D-3. "I'm not getting anything."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean my screen is blank. There's nothing there."
Joe pushed up his glasses and shifted the weight of the bag on his shoulder. "We're responsible for leaving Yolei and Davis behind," he said. "We need to find them."
Instead of choosing a direction to go, Joe placed his bag on the ground and kneeled, taking a broken digiegg into his arms. Then, without care for his bare hands or pressed dress shirt, he began to dig.
Mimi didn't question him. Even if they weren't really in the digital world, even if this was all an illusion, it was the right thing to do.
She and Cody joined him on the ground and began digging tiny graves.
...
.~*~~**~~*~.
Mist thickens the air. Rainclouds linger in a thick sheet above, waiting to make good on their threat of rain. Umbrellas litter the campus, popping up as students make their way out of the building.
I spot Kari's in a second. It makes me grin every time: hordes of cats tangled in a single string of red yarn. I think it's funny that cats shield her from the rain. Sorta wish the artist had drawn them all half-drowned. Gatomon would be offended.
Kari's searching through the crowd and her eyes catch on a head of blonde hair. It's not TK, but I can tell she wishes it was. It takes her a minute to realize and then the umbrella droops, hiding her face.
I frown. She's been all mopey since he left. Yolei told me they had a fight right before he and his mom took off for an extended visit to France and they haven't talked since. If it were me I woulda fought my parents until they let me stay just so I could make it up to her. I probably woulda gotten my way too. My mom loves love. And me too, I think.
I sorta wanna tell her that, but I think I'll just flick TK in the ear when he gets home and tell him. I've been trying out this self-control thing lately. I think it's going well.
When I reach Kari, I force my hands under the umbrella, flipping it back. She still looks sad.
"Stop that," I say.
She blinks. "What?"
"Pouting."
"You're pouting."
I look at my bottom lip. She's right.
"It's contagious."
Kari gives the umbrella a tug and I let go. My hands feel like they need something to do, so I fiddle with the goggles on my neck, stretching them over my head. Kari gets this faraway look in her eyes, still searching the crowd like TK is going to pop back up a week early.
I lift the goggles over my head and snap them on hers.
"Ouch!" she cries, reaching to take them off.
"Nope." I bat her hand away and try to adjust them above her ears. "Just let them sit there for a minute." She grimaces as the band catches her hair, creating a series of messy bunches. I step back and admire my work. She looks awesome.
"Feel the power," I say.
"I do not need goggles to make me powerful."
"You are wrong." I give them a flick in the lens. "Everyone needs somethin. Seriously. Channel Tai like I do. You kinda look like him now."
"This is weird."
"It'll make you stop missin TK."
Raindrops patter against the umbrella and she pulls it away so I'm exposed.
"Heeeeyy." I move in, bumping her shoulder to fit even though I can tell she's mad. I yank my phone from my pants pocket and take a picture of her. I look at it and shake my head. She's frowning, hair in every direction, goggles askew.
"Terrible," I say. "Just sad."
Kari pulls the umbrella away again. "Walk home by yourself."
Cold drops scatter across my shirt. Feels good because I sorta run hot anyway. "Awww, come on. You look cute even if you're all grumpy and stuff."
I'm under her umbrella again, rubbing arms while I try to get my phone back in my pocket. I feel like if I pushed just a little, she'd probably go flying. It's weird how she makes me feel big when we used to be like the same size a year ago.
She's ignoring me so I give her a nudge. She stumbles and glares at me.
"What happened with you two anyway?" I ask.
"Nothing," she snaps. "Nothing happened."
"Yolei said you're fighting."
"Ugh."
"You don't wanna tell me?"
"Not really."
"Why not?" I'm not sure why I feel bad, but I do. Probably because I'm not really the kind of guy people want to confide in and that kinda sucks. I talk too much, I guess. I feel my forehead crinkle and Kari looks at me, sighing.
"I can listen," I tell her.
"I know," she says. Her shoulder bumps into my arm when we turn a corner. "It's just weird talking about it with you."
I raise a brow. "I'm so over you, please."
Sort of. I mean, I try not to think about it most of the time, but I have this habit of feeling things hard and hoping too much. I laugh a little. Irony.
"Really?" she asks.
I look at her: hair a mess under Tai's goggles and her almond eyes, watching me. "Nope."
"Really?"
"Wait, which one surprises you?"
We wait for a car before we move into the crosswalk.
"Both," she says.
A gust of wind bursts before us and her umbrella flips inside out, blowing back into the busy street. I go to get it, but a car beats me, leaving behind its shattered shell in the road. Two seconds later a bus comes and we cringe at the sound of snapping metal.
"Yikes. I think it's a goner." I bow to the umbrella's remains. It's hit again by a taxi and dragged a little further down the street. "You served us well, faithful cats. May you rest in peace, hopefully in a place where you'll never have to get wet again."
"I really liked that umbrella." Kari lifts a hand to shield rain from her face, her frown tighter than before. "Too bad you never remember yours."
I shrug and whip my backpack around to pull out my jacket. I hand it to her and she pulls it over her head. It's hard not liking her when I notice her blushing.
"He acts like we're just friends still," she says suddenly, pulling the jacket around her like a head scarf. The goggles disappear beneath it. "I thought he liked me."
"Huh. Like you guys don't kiss and stuff?" I ask. Kari's right. This is weird to talk about with her. I feel a little out of place and I sorta think TK might punch me if he knew. I'd punch me.
"A little," she says, blush deepening.
"So, were you like… wanting more?" I'm thankful for the rain because I feel like fire. I wipe some from my face and move away from her to avoid stepping in a puddle. I'm kinda surprised, because I guess I thought Kari'd be more conservative or something. I'm really trying hard not to think about this too much.
"I just thought things would be different," she says. "He seems like he doesn't even want to hold my hand. He's super cautious even though we've known eachother forever. I don't know what he's waiting for."
"Maybe he doesn't want to mess up." I know I wouldn't, but then again, I can't imagine being super cautious either. Self-control again. Not my strong suit.
"Yeah, I guess so," Kari says. "He seemed really upset when I brought it up."
"And then he left?"
"Without kissing me goodbye."
"I would never do that."
The words come out before I can stop them. I told myself I wasn't going to be an ass when they started dating, but I can't help myself. I clear my throat when she looks at her feet, face hidden under my jacket.
I apologize.
"It's fine," she says, even though I can tell she's embarrassed. I stuff my hands in my pockets and pick up the pace. She has to jog to keep up. "Slow down."
I obey.
"I promised myself I wouldn't say stuff like that." I kick a puddle. "But my promises are shit apparently."
"You just say what you feel," she says and I feel everything.
"Yeah."
"It's a good thing, Davis."
I shrug. "It's really not."
"It's better than having to guess what you're thinking," she says and I know she's thinking about TK.
"Yeah, now you know how I feel about you."
Kari stares at me for a minute and I realize that came out meaning more than one thing. I stutter a bit. "I, uh, mean you're like that too. Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on with you. You just look sad and don't talk."
"Sorry." She forces a smile.
"Fake."
She rolls her eyes and suddenly we hear it: the clouds releasing a torrent of rain as if they are unable to hold it any longer. It comes like a sheet behind us. We're less than a block away from home.
"Run!" I say, grabbing her hand.
She cries, "What?" over a clap of thunder, but she's running with me anyway. "We're not going to beat it!"
And sure enough the sheet catches up to us. A downpour drenching whatever dry parts we have left. She's laughing now, an echo to me I think. I can't help it. It makes me feel like we're little again, playing in the puddles before Tai swoops in to glare at me and tell her she has to come inside.
We can't talk anymore because the rain is so heavy, but her hand clings to mine the whole way. I dread letting her go. I could live in a world of downpours if she was with me.
I see the outline of my apartment building and start to slow down, but now she's tugging me. We almost collide under the ledge of the roof and I'm still laughing even though I know it's over now. I don't want her to stop smiling.
She doesn't let go of my hand.
She stares at me, the fog of her breath touching my chin and I start doing this stupid chant of "TK. TK. TK." in my brain as if that might help put out the fire that's exploding around me.
And then she kisses me. I don't expect it. It literally comes out of nowhere and the chant in my head swirls into a million questions that I don't want to ask because I really really don't want her to stop.
I have kissed exactly one other girl in my life. She was my teammate's sister and I was so worried about getting it right that it went really wrong. There was way too much tongue and our teeth touched. I avoided her for the rest of the school year.
This is different. So unexpected that I don't have time to worry. I unwrap into it, like coils of anticipation finally left without a weight. My jacket slides from her head when my hands slip behind her neck, tangling into her hair. My thumbs scrape the corners of her jaw. She touches my chest and I lose all my goals of self-control.
She tastes like rain and strawberry lip gloss and my head is recounting all my daydreams of what our lives would be like together.
Then she stops.
We just sort of stare at each other for a minute, catching our breath. I didn't realize stopping could actually hurt, but it does. I ache all over.
The spell is broken when a man in a suit steps around us to get to the elevators. Reality slowly sinks in.
"I…" She looks completely lost. "I am so, so sorry."
I don't know what to say. I just shake my head like an idiot.
"I love TK," she whispers. "Davis. I love him."
My heart is literally crushed. I let it get so big that my chest can't hold it.
"I love you," I tell her because I do. I didn't realize it until now, until I finally thought maybe there was a chance she felt the same.
Rain glistens in her eyelashes. It pours behind us, deafening.
"I'm sorry," she says again.
She leaves my jacket on the ground and the rain ricochets against my goggles, still nestled in her hair.
.~*~~**~~*~.
Something shattered, ending his dreams. They had been fitful, scores of black scattering across memory.
Davis pulled his head off his sweaty pillow and immediately felt the nausea return. His bed was wet. Goosebumps broke out across his chest and he shivered, actually cold for once. He kicked off damp sheets and found his jeans soaked through.
Did Ken take him home? God, he'd been so drunk. He could still feel the alcohol, heavy in his limbs, subduing everything but his restless stomach.
His mom was probably pissed. Davis heard a loud bang from the kitchen and sunk back into his bed, ready to resign to being cold and wet and smelling like vomit rather than face her.
It was the smell that won out. Dragging fingers down his eyelids, he managed to get himself out of bed. He tossed his soaked pants on the floor and grabbed an old towel from the floor. Wrapping it around his waist, he took a deep breath, ready for a lecture, and stepped into the hall.
A pan fell to the floor. And there was Yolei, in his kitchen, shielding her eyes. "Omigod, Davis, put on some pants!"
He instantly shut himself into the bathroom. "What the hell are you doing in my house?" he shouted through the door.
Yolei's voice came back at him, shrill. "I helped you get inside, remember?"
He glared at the door, angry that he had no idea what she was talking about. "No."
"We lost them." Her voice wavered, but she was still messing around in the kitchen. The fridge opened and closed. "First Mimi, Cody and Joe and then Ken and the others."
It came back. The darkness and memory crowding that place. It still seemed like some sort of bad trip.
Davis turned to the mirror and found bloodshot eyes. Skin was peeling on his lips and one was fat and swollen. He pushed on a tender cheekbone, already turning purple.
"It wasn't a dream?"
"No," said Yolei.
Davis raked his fingers through his hair, flinging water. He didn't even remember the rain. There was a short pop and sizzle and the smell of something frying coming through the door.
He turned on the shower. "If we're back home then why are you still here?"
Yolei's huff was audible over the running water.
"Because, Davis, we're not home. We're somewhere else."
He paused and cracked open the door, peering out at her. "What?"
Yolei looked up from the frying pan. Her glasses were cracked, lines running in webs over one lens. She squinted, accusing him with a spatula.
"There's no one here," she said. "Your family, your neighbors, my family." The spatula went up and down with each item on the list. "Everyone's gone. Even the streets are empty."
No longer worried about modesty, Davis shot out of the bathroom, barely holding onto his towel. He snatched the telephone from the kitchen wall and started to dial his mom's cell when he noticed the line was completely dead.
"Where's my phone?" he asked.
"Tried that," said Yolei, pointing the spatula to where it lied on the kitchen table. She didn't look his way.
It didn't even turn on.
"Did you charge it?"
"I'm a computer tech, Davis. Seriously?" Then she muttered to herself, "Did you turn it off and back on again?"
"Did you?"
She almost tossed the spatula at him.
When Davis stepped outside his apartment door, the only sound in the normally busy Odaiba streets was the pouring rain. Nothing passed by, no cars, no people, nothing alive. He came back into the house and looked at Yolei's knowing face in disbelief.
"Where are we?"
She frowned and took a break from cooking to pour herself a cup of tea. Lines of mascara stained her cheeks in streaks of black. She took a slow sip before answering him.
"I don't know, but we're going to get out of here."
Davis could tell by the sound of her voice that she was trying to convince herself. For a minute, he stared while she absorbed herself with cracking eggs over the stove, and then he shut himself into the bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet and trying to forget about being caught in the rain.