Humbled yet again, I fought against my shame and my tears, and looked for my redemption in her gaze. It was there that I was saved. For the remainder of my life, I will remember that moment when we met eyes. It was an instant that held an almost tangible thread between our souls, an understanding that I had never experienced with another human being. The significance of the contact we shared was not lost on me. At that moment, I felt the essence of her deepest feelings pulsing from her fingertips to my distorted face.
"You must excuse me yet again, I have lived too many years and faced a great deal of derision- it is hard to believe myself worthy of anything more than contempt."
"Then, let me show you, Erik." It was spoken more as a question; a request, than a statement. If it were possible, I began to quake even more.
My emotions, along with Christine's persistent compassion had completely overpowered my resolve and guilt. I finally decided that it was best to remain silent and let the darling girl speak. After all, I had already proved myself completely ignorant of her thoughts and intentions! But, I would prod her on with a simple question. "Christine, I still am at a loss. . .after all I have told you, how is it that I am mistaken?"
Abruptly, she stood up, wringing her hands in the folds of her cloak that revealed obvious distress. "Oh, if only I could undo the wrongs of your past-"
"There is never a turning back-" I rose and gripped her shoulders in a brace of comfort. I was too involved in her actions to hesitate and question my inherent need to hold her. In response, I sensed her body relax, the tension in her bones flowing out of her skin to be captured and snuffed out by my palms.
There was no need for both of us to suffer. "To rewrite history and erase all the wrongs done to you!" She inhaled deeply against the pressure of my touch, her hair tickling my fingertips.
"I have disturbed you with my ramblings. . .I should apologize-"
"There is nothing to be sorry for, Erik!" She rounded on me violently, wriggling out of my grasp. Had it not been for her words, I would have thought her very angry with me.
"You say we can not change the past. That is true. But Erik, though I am young, I am very certain of the fact that we cannot continue to live in it! You have made yourself a prisoner of your memories!" The waves of frustrated passion were raging through her once more, and I did not dare try and quell their flow.
"I have lived as a ghost, just as you, since my father's death. I can not do it anymore! It allows for little peace. When you first took me down to your home, when you revealed to me all those wonders of your making, I finally began to see that there was more to life than mourning. You gave me my voice, which gave me a reason to keep going." Drained, Christine sank down to the floor, and placing a hand to her heart, made an effort to slow her frantic heartbeat.
Cautiously, so not to cause her further distress, I knelt to the floor a few feet from where she sat. My eyes shifted to the ring which now, beyond my deepest hopes, now adorned her delicately tapered finger.
After a time in which we both recovered our composure, she added in a whisper, "Erik, that is why the blood on your hands does not frighten me, why your face appears to my eyes as any other man's. . .because you brought me back to life." Like a timid little child, Christine scooted across the stone to move closer to me, extending her bejeweled hand.
Without hesitation, I took her palm in mine, relishing the new sensation of the ring against my flesh. With a gentle squeeze, I offered a silent 'thank you'- my gratitude was too immense to be contained in mere words.
"If you will let me in, Erik, I promise to free you from your past. . ."
Contemplating the enormity of her request and the impact of our evening, I surrendered to her. "Christine, salvation is often sought and found in this very chapel. But in the hands of God. Tonight, I have discovered that he is not the only one with the power to grant it."