Slow even rapping comes from the window where the man now stands with a hopeful smile on his face. He appears non-threatening, at least as far as standards went before this all began. He was handsome in a rugged way, the uniform he wore fit him well too, so it appears as if it was actually his. Sherriff Grimes, I read from his tag on his shirt just before he knocks again on the window looking a bit worried at my slow response. I roll the window down an inch or two making sure to keep my foot placed just above the gas pedal should I need to make a quick escape. "Can I help you officer?" I ask looking directly at his gun once more. He sees this and raises his hands giving me a comforting look. "No need to fear me kid. It's just…" He trails off looking at me and glancing back down the road where he had come from. "It's nice to see someone living." He sounds defeated as he mumbles out the last part but he puts on the same faint smile he wore before. The look in his eyes agree with the physical expressions he wears and it allows me to let my guard down a little maybe even trust him. You can't trust no one, everyone is out for number one, themselves and their own. Fathers lessons though crude have often meant the difference between life and death lately so though I want to trust this man maybe it's better keeping him at a distance.
"Yeah, it's good to see not everyone has gone crazy with those demons running around." I nod at him flashing him a brief smile. He looks puzzled however before realization shows in his features. "Demons huh? Why do you call them that?" He asks looking me over and focusing around my neck no doubt seeing my mother's cross. I stare at him dead on wondering if he is one of those Christ hating folks. "What else would you call an evil spirit that possess human kind to torment and kill. Sounds pretty devil like if you ask me." I say defensively squinting my eyes in his direction. He steps back from the window raising his hands in surrender again. "I ain't arguing with ya, just curious." He pauses for a second before looking back down the road where I saw him arrive. "That mean you think the people inside of them can still be saved? In this life or the next." He looks guilty not giving me a glance. Doubt he is a cold killer if he would let his guard down like this around me. "I don't know. The bible told of the apocalypse but I never thought it would be anything like this." I take my cross in my hand and shiver at the thought of this being the rapture and what evil I could have done to be left behind.
"Name's Rick, Sherriff Rick Grimes." The man says leaning against my car again and returning his gaze to mine. I contemplate for a moment if I was being foolish before rolling down the window entirely and reaching my hand out to shake. "Elijah Calvert." He looks pleasantly surprised at my response and claps my hand shaking it firmly. "Where you headed?" He nods to the map under the gun in the passenger seat. "I'm looking for someone, my brother. I think he may have gone to find his girlfriend near Atlanta." His face lights up at this and he stands up to his full height of about 6 feet or so. Much taller than my smaller 5-foot 8 inches frame. "Same way I'm going. My wife and son went to the safe zone in Atlanta." He nods thinking for a second, something I am sure I can guess at but rather I ask him a question that makes me question him more over. "Why'd they go without you?" He looks solemn before answering me. "Was in a coma in the hospital, I'm sure they thought I was dead. When I came to a few days ago my house was empty, took photos, clothes, and food. So, I know they are alive, just need to find them." For a moment I am shocked, almost missing the latter half of his story, he was in a coma and just awoke a few days ago? "Were you awake before or after all this began?" He shakes his head before answering. "Nope, when I got shot on the job everything was normal. Wasn't until I woke up with the Walkers banging around in the hospital that I even knew about any of this."
Walkers, I suppose that is what he calls the demons. Odd name, but I suppose the imagery would allow anyone to know what he was talking about, apart from eating all the people did was walk endlessly with only a need to eat and kill propelling them forward. "We should go together, we could look out for each other." He says knocking me out of my thoughts abruptly. I shake my head in the negative before looking away. "Not a good idea, I don't know you and once I find my brother I intend to leave." Rick frowns at my response before pressing on again. "I'm not gonna hurt you kid, just think it would be better to have two sets a eyes keeping watch than just one. When you find your brother and me, my family we can go our separate ways if you like but I think sticking together is in both of our best interest." He looks me deep in my eyes causing me to look away from the pressure I feel from his gaze. Father would never recommend traveling in a group in the apocalypse. People were selfish by nature and would always look out for themselves. Even worse with a group you didn't know, nothing stopping them from stealing from you or worse murdering you in your sleep. However, Rick was right, with a second pair of eyes we both might make it alive and avoid any unnecessary danger along the way. I chew the inside of my cheek for a minute longer thinking in the silence Rick has allowed me.
"Do you have your own car?" He nods his head pointing back from where he came. "Yeah, a Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, I have space in the back if you want to put your bags. Got my own guns too." He gestures to my weapons pack in the back seat. "No, we can ride separately." He stops himself from saying something else and simply nods his head before stepping back from the car. "I'll follow you to the city and should we need to stop for any reason I'll cut my hazards on to get your attention." He nods again and smiles before walking back to his squad car. I may be making a mistake by travelling with Rick but I wasn't going to make it too easy on him just in case.
Moments later his car comes driving next to me and Rick nods his head again before driving past me at a moderate speed signaling for me to follow. While trailing after him in the car I check my Springfield to make sure it is fully loaded and the safety is still on. Should he try anything I would be ready, if it came down to it I would do what was needed. I wonder would Rick want to travel with me knowing that I was willing to take a life. That I had killed some of the demons, regardless if they could be cured or not, would an officer of the law find it forgivable to kill someone simply because they were possessed by evil. Maybe he had a point. Maybe they could be cured, would God forgive me for killing those who were forced into this existence. I wish I knew the answer, all I knew now was that I had to keep moving forward. Somewhere out there I had to find my brother and I would do whatever was needed to get to him. Now that I had killed the demons it should be easier to kill more of them.
For a number of hours, we drive on towards Atlanta passing through some minor cities. All of the towns and cities are filled with demons walking in big groups looking for their next meal. It appears just like with how things were before large amounts of people inhabit the city so why would the demons not feast in them as well. Fortunately, with the speed we are going none of the demons have time to notice us before we are long gone and out of harm's way. As we near Dallas Georgia the city where Emmanuel's girlfriend Lucille lived I notice the gas light for the car has been on. I also recognize that daylight is fading when looking up towards the skyline when I deciding what to do. I turn on my hazard lights as planned and pull off to the side of the road. A few moments later Rick does the same with his car and steps out of the door.
I pull open my car door while simultaneously stuffing my gun into my waistband. I need to remember to put on the holster I had in my pack before I should end up needing it later. Rick walks to me looking up at the sky likely coming to the same conclusion I had. "We are almost to a place my brother might have gone to. His girlfriend lived in Dallas so I am going to search for them here." Rick nods before pointing to the sky. "We should search when the sun comes back up, until then we should find a place to hold down for the night." He says beginning to turn around. "Yeah, I was thinking we could rest in our cars. I'm pretty low on gas and don't wanna risk running out in the dark. In the morning we could find some and get going?" Rick looks at both cars for a moment thinking on his options. "How low are you?" Rick walks closer to me now still looking pensive. I pat the hood of my car feeling embarrassed. "Well the gas light is on, and unfortunately I don't know how long that has been the case either." I can't help but look away from Rick as he takes in my response. My father would have called me every name for stupid he could think of; how could I be so distracted I didn't notice I was driving with no gas.
"Okay, we can pull up onto the exit ramp and sleep there for the night. If more of the walkers show up in the night you will just have to hop in with me and we go from there." Rick says looking serious yet determined. "We can sleep in shifts, if one of us sees anything we slam on the horn to alert the other." I nod my head taking in Rick's orders. It's weird to follow his direction after knowing him for such a short time but oddly enough I trust his decision and it feels good to not have all of the choices rest on my shoulders. "Okay." I turn back to my car as Rick does to his and we pull the few feet remaining to the exit ramp and park both cars. Rick seems so different than I expected most people to be in this world, but that didn't change things. I still had to look out for my brother and I, I couldn't let Rick get in my way, for all I know Rick could be plotting against me.
Leaning out of my window I tell Rick that I would take the first watch and he accepted hastily closing himself back into his car. He seemed excited for sleep, myself on the other hand was dreading it. I hadn't been known to rest easily in times of great stress and now with the idea of murder in my mind I was bound to have very dark dreams. I would likely opt to stay awake the whole night just to avoid having to face myself in my dreams. My father used to call me a baby whenever I would wake from my sleep crying for him and my mother for whatever monster was occupying my head. He never supported me or treated me like most parents would their child. In the beginning at least I had my mother, she was everything my father was not; empathetic, warm, and open. I would spend the nights after the fitful dreams curled up in her arms singing songs of the gospel to chase all of my fears away. I wish she were here now.
Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things for a child to endure, especially so when that parent is the only security you have in life. When my mother first became sick I remember the first thought I had was, who will protect me now? She was my shield from my father, the nurturer to my soul, and my only example of unconditional love. I cried for weeks when she first told us she had stage 3 breast cancer. I did so much research and presented her with every means of a cure that I could find. I went with her to every doctor's appointment and stayed by her side through every off day. Sometimes it seemed like she was getting better, that only made the following days worse when the cancer showed its ugly face. I prayed for her every night, I begged God for anything, anything to keep my mother with me. But it was all for nothing the cancer was just getting worse. I remember asking her one day, what could we do to help her and what she said crushed me beyond understanding. She said she was ready to go, she didn't want to fight anymore, and she wanted me to let her go. I was beyond hurt, what did she mean she wanted me to let her go. After that day all I could feel was anger. How could she just leave me, why didn't she want to keep fighting, why would God take her away from me? I began distancing myself from my mother and I could tell it hurt her but if she didn't want to live why would continue to let her be in my life.
I trained harder with my father, I started finally showing my worth in his eyes and he almost seemed proud of me. Inside though, I felt hollow. Emmanuel could see and tried his best to bring me back to the happy boy I used to be but nothing worked. How could it, in a few months' time he would be eighteen and just like our mother he would leave me. Soon it would just be my father and me. I can't help but shiver at the thought of what might have happened to me had Emmanuel left me with that man. Would I be dead from all his endless training, or somehow worse, would I be just like him?
On the day of my mother's death I planned to stay away, I hid when my father and brother took her to the hospital. I didn't think I could possibly stand by and watch her light flicker out and still hold myself together. It wasn't until hours later when I came across a note from mother in my room that I saw the light. A letter sealed with ruby red lipstick lay on my dresser, it even smelled like she used to before. Once opened tears outpoured from my eyes and my broken heart stitched itself back together again. She wrote about the day I was born and how her heart felt like it grew more space for all the love she had for me. She talked about how she was afraid for me, how everything made her want to protect me and keep me pure. She mentioned all the things she would miss; like when I leave for college, my first love, heartbreak, and when I have my own child. She ended the letter by telling me that she hopes that I would forgive her, that I would understand why she quit fighting. She did it for me, she didn't want to continue on knowing that I was dying inside trying to save her. She would rather die on her own terms than to watch me struggle forever just to have a few more moments with her. She loved me.
I broke many laws that day. Driving without a permit, speeding, failure to maintain, and I might even have hit a sign or two. None of it mattered though, I made it, I made it in time to walk in the hospital room and see my mother look me in the eyes. No tears for either of us but I was able to tell her, one last time. "I love you mom." She smiled at me then, right before she stopped breathing and left this world.
Rick's lights flash ahead of me before I look up and notice he is awake. I guess he plans to take a shift from here on. As soon the thought crosses my mind I yawn while stretching my entire body. I suppose I was a bit more tired than I realized. Maybe I could just rest for a moment, maybe my mind would allow me a night of restful sleep. I raise my hand to hold my mother's cross and pray. "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. If I should live another day I pray the Lord to guide my way." Barely a few seconds pass as I finish the pray and fall into a heavy sleep.
Tap, tap, tap I can hear against the glass knocking me out of my sleep. Once my eyes blink open the first thing I see is Rick's smirking face about two inches from my own startling me back away from the window where my face rested. "Darn it Rick, could give someone a heart attack like that." I say pushing the door open and stepping out of the car. He chuckles lightly looking down at me. "I tried waking you up a few times but you wouldn't budge. Figured I wouldn't open your door out of fear you might shoot me with how tightly you were holding that gun o' yours." Looking back in the car I can see my Springfield sitting in the car seat I just got out of. I must have pulled it out last night without even realizing it. I reach in to pick it up and turn back to Rick. "Safety's on, I couldn't shoot you with it if I was actually trying."
Rick continues to laugh for a few more seconds before he calms down. "You know how to use that thing?" He asks looking out the gun in my hands. Glancing back up at him I could read the concern on his face, scared I might actually accidentally shoot him it seems. "Yeah, was taking lessons before I started elementary school. I'm a pretty good shot with it but I'm even better with my compound." I turn to gesture towards the compound bow in the back seat and Rick looks on appearing impressed. "Lori would have never gone for that with Carl. I taught him all about gun safety but he's never handled one himself. Before this I never hoped he would have had a reason to." Rick says looking somber. I attempt an empathetic smile before walking back to the trunk of the car. "He's a lucky kid, I wouldn't recommend teaching your kids as young as I was." After a few seconds of rummaging through the trunk I close it and walk around the car with a short hose and gas tank to use for siphoning gas. "Although, maybe when you find him, you should teach him a thing or two about guns." Rick nods his head and looks on at the tools I was carrying. "Your dad teach you what to do with those too?" I shake my head putting them in the passenger seat of the car. "No, but I've seen it in a movie or two, doesn't look that hard." Rick looks perplexed for a moment but walks to his car just in time for me to drive past him so he can follow me to another car.
Truth is, my father did try teaching me how to do this once when I was younger but I didn't care to try. What reason would I possibly need to know for unless I planned to take up a life of crime? Once off the highway we come across a cluster of cars blocking a street where two of their gas tanks are facing our direction. Stopping the car I exit swiftly as Rick comes to a stop and watches me from him car with a smirk on his face. He thinks he's so smart, I knew the basics of it, put the hose in the tank, suck in some air through the hose, and pour the gas into the canister. Easy peasy. I open the tank and slip the hose inside making sure to get it deep in as to get as much gas as I could. Once the hose is in place I take a deep breath and suck air into the other side of the hose with the gas can at the ready.
Uncontrollable coughs and gags leave my mouth after the gas shoots right up the straw and into my mouth. After a few seconds of gagging I quickly move the hose down to the can and after a few drops the liquid stops flowing. "What the heck?" I say looking back and forth from the hose to the car. Muffled laughter comes from Rick's car and I refuse to look up at him from pride. I'll just have to try again. I take the hose and place it back to my lips, maybe if I go slower this time it will work. I inhale into the hose and after a few seconds of trying pull back to find nothing happened. More laughter this time from Rick who I look up at with venom in my eyes. "Oh like you could do it?" I shout at him but he just shrugs his shoulders. "I didn't say I could do it either." He laughs out of his window. "Maybe you should try again?" He smiles at me causing me to crack as small smile back at him. Okay, maybe it wasn't so easy but what was worse, trying and failing again or giving up. Once my tongue involuntarily moves across my teeth and another gag overtakes me I stand up grabbing my tools with me.
I walk over to Rick stomping right past him towards his trunk and looking back at him expectantly. He laughs again before clicking a button and opening his trunk for me to put the gas can inside. While walking back to my car to get my remaining things I question again whether this choice is a smart one. As I am grabbing my bow and the map from the front seat Rick walks by me and pulls my weapons and supplies bag out the backseat and walks with me back to his cruiser. "thanks." I say looking away from him. He says nothing as he puts them in the backseat and waits for me to put my bow in as well. "So these guns, they your dads or your brothers?" Rick questions as he sits himself in the driver's seat and turning the car back on. "I think so, he had them stockpiled for both of us but when Emmanuel didn't show up I brought some of them with me." He looks at me as I sit down in the passenger seat. "Some? There is already what, fifteen are so in that bag?" I shrug in response. "Dad was a bit of an apocalypse nut, so he was more than prepared for something like this. Rick simply shakes his head and reaches for the map in my lap. "This the place?" He points to the black circle I drew on the map where Lucille was supposed to live. "Yeah, Emmanuel might be there or maybe a clue as to where he went."
We ride in silence for awhile and I already regret leaving the CD in my car. I look around the cruiser taking note of everything I see. I'd never been in a cop car surprisingly. It wasn't a newer one so there wasn't too much to see but being on this side of the car felt interesting, like I was important or something. "How long have you been a cop?" I ask Rick to fill the silence. He thinks for a second before responding. "Almost twenty years now. Left school and decided to work in law enforcement when I married Lori." I take in the information in silence thinking about what Rick Grimes would have been like before the apocalypse. He must have been a kind man, a good husband and father, nothing like my own dad. "I was in school to become a teacher, wanted to help mold the young minds of tomorrow." Pausing for a moment I look out the window seeing we are close to Lucille's address. "Before all of this at least." I say gesturing to the world outside the car. Rick looks over at me but continues on driving not adding anything more to pessimistic thoughts.
"This should be it right?" Rick says as we come to a stop in a seemingly pristine looking neighborhood. I look over through the driver's window and see the house he is referring to. I look it over taking in the cherry red brick lining the house on all edges with the big windows reflecting light onto what no doubt used to be a lovely lawn. The odd thing about the house however is the front door is open wide with one of the hinges broken off. "This is the address, but it seems like we aren't the first ones here." I push open the door grabbing my gun and in the same motion checking my pocket for my knife. As I round the car Rick steps out with his gun drawn looking suspicious. "You can wait in the car, if Emmanuel is in there he would respond better to me alone." I say walking towards the front door on my own until I hear Rick respond behind me. "And if someone, or something else is, I'll be right here to watch out for you." He brushes past me without acknowledging my annoyed face a glance.
Once at the door Rick holds up a hand signaling me to wait which I begrudgingly follow. After checking both ways he walks in with his gun leading his way and giving me an okay with his fingers. Following him into the kitchen we take note of the state of array the house is in. The Fridge and pantry are open wide with food spilled out on the floor. Rick looks back at me sharing a look before moving on through the house. Going up the stairs he takes each step slowly to avoid making any noise and I attempt to follow his patterns until we reach the top. After he takes a small lead and checks the remaining rooms he puts his gun in his holster and sighs. "Bad news Elijah."
I shake my head at him walking into the closest bedroom that was likely the master bedroom. "Whoever did live here is long gone and..." He pauses watching me search the bedroom for any sort of sign. "If there was anything to find whoever looted the place probably already beat us to it." I turn to look at Rick feeling hurt by his doubt. "You don't know that. I have to keep looking, he was here I just need to find out where he would have gone next." I close my eyes trying to take in everything we have found. Emmanuel likely came here after he spoke with me to find his girlfriend. There is dust on the wall where picture frames would have been before so she left before the looting. The only question is did Emmanuel make it here before or after that. I open my eyes back and look at Rick. "Where would a woman in her mid-twenties go if she heard monsters were out killing people in the street?" I attempt to brainstorm with Rick. He thinks for a second watching me kneel down to her wastebasket. "To see her family, friends, or to find safety? That leaves too many options for you to search them all Elijah." He says uncertainly.
Uncrumpling a piece of paper I sigh in relief before standing up and looking at Rick. "Well this just made it all easier. She went to the safe zone in Atlanta." I turn the paper in my hand and show it to Rick. He takes it from my hand and questions me. "Why'd she write him a note telling him she would be in the safe zone if he had warned you to avoid the city?" Walking out of the room I lead Rick downstairs hearing his footsteps follow after me. "I'm sure if you think about it long enough you could figure that one out Mr. Sherriff." I can't help the smirk on my face as we walk back outside and I see his face once rounding the car. He looks annoyed but still smiles at me. Once he sits down in the cruiser he thinks for a second smoothing out the paper. "Your brother threw it in the trash, didn't he? He didn't warn her about it because he warned you first when the phone lines went down." I nod my head agreeing with his theory. "She didn't know if he was coming so she planned to meet him there instead. Looks like Atlanta may be the source of both our hopes now?" I say leaning back in my seat now.
Rick starts the car and looks at me again his face hiding the worry his voice cannot disguise. "Any idea why your brother didn't want you going to Atlanta?" Staring on ahead as we begin moving again I answer trying to suppress my own darker thoughts. "He probably just didn't want us being around so many people since these demons seem attracted to places where people congregate. Besides, we had a place to go with everything we would have needed. We didn't need Atlanta." Rick nods turning on a side street and picking up speed. "Maybe when we get to Atlanta we will be reunited with everyone and this will all be behind us." I look at Rick for a moment hoping the same but deep down I know both of us are expecting the worse. This new world wasn't built for happy endings it, it was made only for survivors.