A steady blur of green and brown blurs by as we travel down the highway towards Atlanta. After a few hours we don't have much longer left but still plenty of daylight. Looking over at Rick I see only determination as he stares straight on ahead focused on finding his family. We talked a bit on our drive. He told me more about his family, even his friend Shane that they were likely traveling with. I told him about school, and explained more about my home life even. It was nice to socialize again and talk out loud with someone else after a month of seclusion. He picked up his radio again and shares the same message he has every hour since we've ridden together. "Broadcasting on emergency channel, will be approaching Atlanta on HWY 85. Anybody reads please respond. Anybody out there please respond." He waivers looking over at me as I try to share a hopeful look with him but he simply frowns and tries his message again. Every time he tries this he seems to lose a little bit more hope, and oddly enough it hurts me to see him like this. Rick seemed to be too good for this world; helping me along the way and believing Atlanta was going to really be a safe zone. He had some sort of optimism that I couldn't comprehend but it made me want to hope too.
"Maybe it's like the phone signals, maybe the lines are all down so it isn't reaching anyone?" I suggest twiddling my thumbs together out of boredom. Rick shakes his head putting the radio back into the cup holder and placing both hands back on the wheel with his shoulders taut. "The way that the two work are different, your phone requires a lot of satellites and such to bounce your call to another phone. Radio's work on frequency and as long as we are in range and on a good channel anyone should be able to hear us." Feeling shamed from his comment I try to distract myself by pulling out my map and looking at the path we have taken so far. As I ruffle the paper and screen the path to come Rick looks over and questions me out loud. "So, what's with all the different colors and symbols." I snicker and tilt the map towards him so he can see more of it while he drives. "Well the black lines are the different road blocks I have come across since I've been on the road. The red circles however are places that I could potentially go back to should I need a place to hold up for a night or two." Rick looks impressed as he glances down at the map every few seconds. "So, what about the red Xs?" I look at the point he is referring to where my brother's house used to be. "That just means there was a group of demons living in that particular area." Rick looks back at my face seeing my paling complexion.
"Have you had to kill any of the demons Rick?" He looks at me with a quizzical stare before looking back at the road. "Yeah, a few of them. Had to kill a couple when I went to the armory, I put a young girl walker down right before we met." He sighs thinking back to something. "I even had to put my buddy Leon down right before I left home." Silence fills the air as he reflects on his past few days and I think about what Rick just told me. How could he have killed so many of them, and how could he continue on like it was nothing. "What about you?" Rick peeks over at me. "Um, yeah, not as many but here I killed two people." I point to the X over my brother's house. Rick looks down at the map before looking up at me. "People, don't you mean the walkers?" Rick looks at me longer than he should as we go down the road waiting for an answer. "They used to be people, for all I know the people might still be in there. I could have done something else to get out of there without killing if I was smarter, if I was better." I say confessing my sins to Rick.
Rick looks shocked for a moment and is preparing to say something when the car stalls and slows down until it moves no longer. I look over at the dashboard to see that the gas light was on just as Rick looks down and slams his head back on the headrest. "Jesus Christ!" I flinch at his use of the lord's name but try to ignore it as I look around us to see where we have stopped. "Don't suppose you wanna try siphoning gas again?" Rick jokes turning towards me. I roll my eyes and look out at the highway, it has two lanes on either side and a few random cars speckled out every few hundred feet apart. Rick opens his door and steps out appearing very upset about our predicament. "We only have about fifteen miles or so to go. We can find a new car and make it there well before nightfall." I recommend stepping out of the car and trying to determine which car would make the best candidate. Rick shakes his head turning towards me. "Most of these heaps are probably dead too from the looks of where they stopped." He squints off in the distance behind me before pointing over my shoulder. "There's a farmhouse up that way, maybe we get lucky and find a car up there? Otherwise we can walk." Rick says hopefully. I look over where he refers to and can make out a glimpse of a brown farm nearly a half mile in the distance. "Sounds good to me." I open up the back seat pulling out my bags and attempting to put them both on my back. Suddenly the strap is pulled away from me and the weight transfers causing me to look back and see Rick pulling the weapons bag from me. "I'll carry it. You can carry your bow and supply bag." Rick turns from me beginning to walk towards the farm leaving no room for an argument. I could have carried them both but I cannot deny the gesture was indeed appreciated.
The soft crunch of the ground underneath us is all that we hear for the first ten minutes of walking until Rick slows his pace to walk alongside me and opens his mouth. "You know, you have nothing to be ashamed or guilty of. The walkers are dead and the people they used to be are long gone." It takes a moment for it to connect in my mind what he is talking about but when I realize I can't hide the renewed shame I feel. "Whoever takes a human life shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 24:17" I respond looking down as I continue to walk forward my hand drifting to my cross ignoring Rick's stare I feel burning into my side. " 'Human life', I don't think walkers qualify as the living. Maybe the person is trapped in the body but the moment they got infected they were dead. You killing them is only granting them mercy." Rick says clasping my shoulder forcing me to stop and look at him. I upturn my gaze looking Rick in his eyes and really thinking about his words before my vision blurs signifying tears. I quickly turn from him facing the farm house in the distance. "Thank you, Rick." I say softly as I continue to walk ahead. Deep down I think I knew that Rick was right, I just needed someone else to say it out loud to help me believe. "You're welcome." He says trailing behind me again.
Once the farm house is in sight we both pull out our weapons; Rick his stainless-steel magnum Colt Python and me with my bow drawn. Rick gestures me to keep quiet and we make our way to the front door where Rick slowly twist the handle of the door letting it fall open. We hear nothing and before stepping in Rick bangs on the open door and waits to look at me while we both listen intently. After a few more minutes of silence I shake my head and Rick lowers his gun but keeping it drawn. "Seems clear but be careful. There is a building with a lock out back and hopefully a car in there but first we should try finding the key. Rick moves through the living room looking in all of the usual places one would keep a key as I walk into the side room to see what I can find.
As soon as the door opens the smell of rotting flesh overwhelms me shoving me back on my feet. My coughs alert Rick who comes over and peeks in the room himself and dropping his jaw in horror. "Damn." He walks into the room and I look after him from the door to see what appears to be an elderly husband and wife with gunshot wounds to the head laying on the ground with blood splattered all over the walls. Written on the walls in some sort of marker are the words 'Forgive us'. "Looks like they chose to take the easy way out when this all started." Rick says kneeling over the bodies looking sorrowful. From the door way I can feel myself breaking down, the sight before me is too much and in mere moments I have no doubt my walls will break down. "I'm gonna go check out the other building, when you find the keys I'll be over there." I mutter back peddling out of the room. As Rick begins to stand up and say something I am already out of the door and walking away from the house.
The fresh air overtakes me and I inhale it trying to wipe the scent of the dead bodies from my memory. I speed walk around the side of the farmhouse toward the other building and attempt to take deep breathes. However halfway there I can feel the bile rise up in my stomach and I lean over towards the ground projecting vomit onto the side of the farm house. Once I begin I can no longer fight off the tears that pour out as well. So much blood everywhere, and the stench of their death still clings to me and floods my senses with what lay in that room. Suicide, such an unforgiveable act. Sure, things are harder than they had been but to take your own life, how could they be so selfish to waste God's gift. I mourn for their souls but can't help but still feel disgusted at the sensory overload of their sin.
Footsteps creep behind me causing me to snap my face in the direction to find Rick walking around the house looking concerned. "I found some keys in the-"Rick trails off holding up a single key with a white tag connected to it. Well it used to be white for now the tag is covered in what appears to be blood. "Look about what you saw in there, they at least went easily." Rick says walking towards me seeming to console me. Wiping away the remaining vomit from my mouth with my jacket sleeves I stand facing Rick while trying to wear a stoic face. "Well I hope they are happy with their decision." I turn on my heels wiping at the tears on my face now that Rick cannot see me as clearly. We walk the rest of the way to the barn doors and after using the keys Rick pulls the door back to find no Car but a big toffee colored horse closed off in the barn.
At the sight of us the horse begins to whinny and neigh but after Rick pats it's face it seems to calm and Rick looks back to me. "We might not have a car but we can ride to Atlanta on ole girl here." Rick gestures to the big horse and waiting for my opinion. "A horse? Can it even hold all of our weight? "I ask standing firmly at the door and crossing my arms. The thought of riding this horse is giving me a terrible sense of anxiety. Rick squints at me for a moment before smiling with laughter in his eyes. "You've never been on a horse, have you?" his smirk annoys me causing me to roll my eyes at him while he begins to laugh quietly. "Yes, she can hold our weight and she seems docile enough so it should be a smooth ride." He looks around a second before walking over to a railing and returning with a saddle. "Come on, bring your stuff and we can tie it all down. I groan audibly before walking closer to the pair staring intently at the horse while preparing to run should it kick at us. Rick snickers while he fastens the saddle before tying off both bags he carried. I take my bag off and hand it to him so he could tie it on as well but put keep on my archery equipment while stuffing my gun in my holster.
Rick looks at me expectantly after everything is put on the horse before he speaks. "You need help getting up?" I look between him and the horse for a moment debating if I would rather be embarrassed or get hurt, I choose to go with the former. "Please?" He nods his head snickering again before cupping his hands and telling me to step up onto the horse. Almost in one moment he steps up onto the horse and looks over his shoulder at me. "You can ride in the saddle since you've never been on a horse before." He sits just ahead of the saddle allowing me to hop forward into the leather cushion. "You ready?" he asks me to which I nod my head.
We move forward on the horse with a kick of Rick's legs and the though the movement is slow it still causes me to lose my balance falling forward into Rick's back. He laughs again as we walk out of the barn on the horse as I rub my nose where I hit his spine. "It's not my first time ever being on a horse just so you know." I say in a matter of fact voice. "It just happens that the last time I was on a horse was not a great experience." Rick nods his head keeping his eyes straight as we walk through the land making our way back towards the highway. "Oh really? What made it so terrible?" Rick asks and I can hear the smile on his face. I question for a moment if I am willing to share this story with Rick before placing my hands firmly on both sides of the saddle and beginning my story.
"Well when I moved out of my father's house with Emmanuel we didn't move that far away at the start." I reflect back on the time we moved Whiteville Georgia renting out a small cabin near a creek. It wasn't much but it was all I could have hoped for. We had a chance to be normal, I had started attending school, Emmanuel got a job in construction, and we could be normal people for the first time. School was a bit different than I expected at first but it was still something that I enjoyed to the fullest. Kids were mean to me because I was different, not only was I homeschooled for most of my life but being gay in rural Georgia was anything but normal. "I didn't know you were gay. You don't seem like it." Rick says interrupting me. "Yeah well not every gay guy is like the ones you see in movies. I may not be the stereotypical gay but I couldn't be more proud of who I am." I rant for a moment feeling the same judgement I always do when first telling someone about my sexuality. "Just so we are crystal clear, I am not 'into' you either so don't go getting all weird on me now." Rick looks over his shoulder for a moment looking embarrassed. "I didn't think that at all, just not what I expected. Don't change anything really." He looks ahead and for just a second I smile at him. He really was a nice guy, lucky he found me instead of someone else. "Anyway continue?" Rick chirps up reminding me what we were discussing.
"So yeah, school was hard at first but eventually I started getting involved in clubs and sports and made my friends that way." It was nice to feel like I was cared about, it was something I hadn't felt in a while apart from my brother. My mother loved me as of course family should but it didn't feel the same as with friends, they enjoyed your company when they could choose not to be around you. In Archery club is where I shined though, I had a little practice with my dad when mom got sick but once I was with a teacher that took their time with me I blossomed. I quickly became the best in the class. That's how I met Paulie, he was a ranch hand nearby where I lived. My teacher recommended I start trying my hand at bigger distances and the best place to do this was at the ranch Paulie also worked at. After a few weeks of practicing on their land we got really close and one day after my practicing he offered to take me horseback riding. He had some dumb excuse about how it would be just like in the movies with an archer on horseback but I didn't care. At that point I knew I like liked him and this was an excuse to get closer to him.
I pause momentarily to see if Rick shows any signs of discomfort or annoyance with my story. He rides in silence looking back at me when he realizes I have stopped talking. "And?" He asks turning his head back and waiting patiently. I smirk audibly and continue on. "Anyway, we ended up going to the stables to get a horse and he decided it would be best to ride his favorite horse 'Majesty'." Rick laughs at this. "Majesty? Now that is a name." He continues with his amused laughter. I agree with Rick but at the time I was willing to do anything to make Paulie like me and fawning over his horse was just one of a few ways I embarrassed myself that day. As soon as we got close to the horse though he began to whinny and freak out. Paulie claimed that the horse had never acted like this and began to stroke it to calm him down. I was scared but wanted to do something to impress him so I walked closer to the horse and tried to pet it seeing that it was calming down at Paulie's touch. The moment I touched it however it turned towards me and nipped at my fingers. If not for my reflexes I am sure they would have been gone. Paulie reprimanded the horse and it seemed to understand so after a few more minutes when he said I should let him help me on the horse I was actually dumb enough to do it. Secured onto the horses saddle I listened intently to the directions Paulie gave me for a casual stroll around the stable. However, the moment he opened the stable door we were both in for an unwelcome surprise. Majesty bolted out of the stable at a full sprint and darted around the ranch. He ran in zig zags like he was actively trying to buck me off, I mean, I'd seen bulls do that in movies but a horse, that thing just hated me. After what felt like hours Paulie rode up beside us on another horse and tried to help me off. As if he was sensing this the horse moved away from him and while still tied to the saddle I tipped over and continued riding, while dragging alongside the horse. Eventually the bastard seemed to tire himself out and stopped for me to untie myself and Paulie to arrive.
Rick's hand covers his mouth as he lets out a deep laugh into his palm shaking thoroughly. "Yeah, after that day I never got on a horse again and Paulie and I didn't really talk much after that." I say laughing softly as well. After a few minutes of continues laughter Rick turns his head looking at my face. "So, what made you get back up on a horse this time?" Rick jokes. His question makes the smile from my face drop away and I look down at the slow-moving ground underneath the horse's hooves. "Emmanuel, I know he is out there somewhere and I will do anything to find my way back to him. I was always the scared one of us, the one who needed protecting but with life on the line I won't let fear get in the way of me finding my brother." Rick nods his head staring forward. "I feel the same way. Lori and Carl, they need me and I won't let anything stop me from finding them." After that the next few hours are gone in silence. I eventually fall asleep with the soft steps sending me into unconsciousness.
"Elijah." I hear my name repeated over and over causing me to open my eyes seeing the brown cotton of Rick's back filling my vision. "What's going on?" I snap my head up looking around us for any demons that might have gotten too close in my slumber. "We're here." Rick says softly causing me to take in my surroundings more as we pass street signs and abandoned cars all around. The once busy city was completely barren. No sign of recent life anywhere. Rick turns the horse allowing me to see the path we are going on. Signs point toward a check point for the quarantine zone but not a person can be heard at all. I don't have to say anything to know Rick has the same bad feeling I do. "When we were getting close there were thousands of cars gridlocked looking like they were trying to leave the city." Rick advises me sounding broken. I can't console him as I too feel a loss of hope. This was the next clue, without this where did I have to search for Emmanuel.
Studying the path we take I notice different things around us. Cars and buildings have singe marks from some sort of big fire, possibly some sort of really big explosion. "Could a car explosion create a damage radius that big Rick?" Rick simply shakes his head in the negative and continues pressing forward. Looking in the direction he is taking I notice a pile of burned corpses on the ground near what might have been the check in zone judging from the barbed gates and tank at the entrance. "What is this?" I move my legs over to one side and slide off the horse as Rick looks on from his position. Getting closer to the bodies I lose count trying to gauge how many of them there are. "Where is everyone?" I turn asking Rick feeling myself near a breaking point. Could Emmanuel be amongst the burned bodies here, never to be identified, lost without ever knowing I was searching for him.
Staring down at the bodies I reflect on who they all were and what lead them to this horrid death before Rick interjects. "When I woke up from the hospital there were bodies lined up like this, all burned and tossed out back in piles." I look up at Rick thinking about the horrors he has seen and the horrors that we will continue to see living in this world. "Only the military could do something like this, that would explain why no one is here. They must have started rounding people up and exterminating them all when there were too many of them." Rick breathes out beginning to sound angry. His words cause me to think though, how does the military burn this many bodies though. Like a flash I remember my first night in the bunker, wrapped up in my bed hearing the high-pitched rings. "They dropped some sort of napalm bombs on Atlanta." I mutter looking around at the destruction around us." Rick shakes his head agreeing with me and trots the horse off closer to the tank.
"Do you hear that?" I ask as a faint whirring noise gets closer from some direction. Rick looks around searching for the noise and visually thinking. "Yeah, it sounds like it's getting closer." Suddenly the noise overwhelms us as we look up and see high in the sky a helicopter going just above a skyscraper near us. A smile stretches across my face and looking over to Rick as he stares up at the source, I can barely hold back a scream from escaping my throat. Coming from a street behind Rick is a swarm of demons masked by the sound of the helicopter blades. "Rick!" I shout out catching his attention but startling the horse causing it to reel back dropping Rick and our bags off before running straight into the crowd of demons.
I barely have a second to react when hearing the horrifying noise of the horse being ripped apart but just beyond that Rick lay on the ground appearing dazed as some lingering demons move closer to him. I look around for something, anything to distract the demons but as they get closer I know the only distraction I can offer them is myself. "Rick, find your family." I say though it is surely muted over the growls of the demons. I raise my gun into the air and fire off three succeeding shots and scream at the demons. "Come on you creepy creeps! Come and get me!" I fire my gun a fourth and fifth time as the demons begin turning towards me with less going after Rick now. I can catch a glimpse of him as he looks up at me mouthing something before rolling under the tank we saw before. I wish I could do more but as he ducks under the tank I start running, running from the crowd of demons, from the only friend I had in this apocalypse, and from the last hope I had of finding my brother.