Digital Shuffle

by famirad

One night, Takato vanishes, leaving Guilmon behind. With something weird happening at Hypnos, maybe there's more to this than just a missing boy. Jenrya and Ruki must face conspiracies, a Digital World bent on invasion, and new allies with their own agendas. They aren't the first kids to meet Digimon...and these partnerships aren't as magical as they seem. [Tamers AU with 01, WS]

20. Side Story Juri Katou: Lion Heart

Digital Shuffle
By famirad

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon, this is for fun.
Author's Note: Finally got to Juri's Side Story. This will detail what happens to Juri outside of the Zudomon's/The Shield's Tokyo barrier during the main story.

Side note: Juri's stepbrother Masahiko is her blood-brother now.

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Side Story: Juri Katou - Lion Heart
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"I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not."
- Robert G. Ingersoll

(Present day)

Juri Katou ran for her life.

Branches and twigs tore at her legs. Her breaths, when they came, were ragged. A small dip in the dirt suddenly caught the toe of her shoe and she stumbled to her knees. Chest heaving, she glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes darted from tree to tree. Where were they? Those things had to be still out there. But her pursuers were nowhere to be seen. But the humming still remained…

"Juri, what's going on?" the small Digimon pressed up against her chest asked.

She shook her head and forced herself up onto shaking legs. "I-I don't know, Calumon."

She wished she did. She wished she knew what these things were doing here. Why they were chasing her. If her parents were okay. But above all that, she wished she knew if she was going to make it back alive.

Juri wished she hadn't left Tokyo in the first place.

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(Several days ago)

There wasn't as much luggage as she thought there would be.

Jenrya Lee didn't quite agree as he hoisted the last of it into the trunk of her dad's car. He'd offered to help with packing once she told him when she'd be leaving on the family camping trip. Juri had refused at first, saying she'd be fine, but he'd been so earnest that she couldn't say "no" forever. So now the half-Chinese boy was leaning against the car's bumper, puffing slightly for breath.

"That's the last of it?" Jenrya asked, looking up.

Juri nodded. "Yeah. We're waiting for my Dad to get everyone ready."

"Okay."

"Thanks for helping out."

Jenrya nodded. "Sure, no problem. I'm glad your dad decided to leave earlier."

Juri tilted her head at this. She knew she could be naïve at times, but she wasn't stupid. Something was wrong. Something was afoot, even. If it wasn't the will o'wisps she saw in the sky the other night, it was Takato's disappearance and now Jenrya's evasive behavior. But she said nothing and simply pretended she was clueless. As always. It was only expected of her. But expected or not, she couldn't help but wonder why he was so concerned about her staying out of Shinjuku – or Tokyo, for that matter.

Jenrya sat back on the bumper and caught his breath. He made sure they were alone before continuing.

"Is Calumon with you?" he asked. There was a giggle from the small backpack Juri wore. Jenrya flashed a grin. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Well, I didn't know he was coming, but he appeared and said he wanted to," Juri said. "I…um, I don't really know how to take care of Digimon, so…?"

"They're like us," Jenrya said. He continued to watch out for Juri's family. "Just make sure Calumon gets enough food and sleep. He likes to wander around sometimes so if he decides he's going to go off on his own, I'd let him do what he wants."

Calumon pushed his head up through the flaps. "Camping! I wanna go camping! Woo!"

"You will in a bit," Jenrya told him with a grin. "Come to think of it, do you even know what camping is?"

"Nope!" This didn't seem to faze Calumon. "But I heard everyone talking about it and it sounds fun!"

Jenrya smiled, but Juri wasn't fooled. She pretended to laugh at his quiet jokes as they passed the time, pretended like she wasn't getting worried just because he was clearly worried. Calumon didn't seem to notice at all that things were any different; the Rookie bounced inside her backpack with the same energy he approached everything else.

Juri's dad came back and they finished the last preparations. Juri found herself climbing into the cramped car as the rest of her family did the same. At Jenrya's gesture, she rolled down the window. The half-Chinese boy leaned in as her dad and stepmother went over a checklist, occupied.

"Juri…? One more thing..." Jenrya bit his lip.

Juri waited. Jenrya looked so serious then. Tired. But he only broke into another easy-going smile.

"Take it easy out there. I'll see you guys when you get back, so have fun, okay?"

The last Juri saw of Jenrya was him waving from the sidewalk as their car pulled out onto the street. He quickly vanished from view. She faced forward in her car seat. What was he about to say? Her dog puppet lay limp in her lap as Juri stared out the window at the scenery blurring past. Jenrya'd looked so tense then. And he wasn't as good at hiding his emotions as she could be…

"Juri?"

Juri blinked. Her stepmother, Shizue, half-turned in the passenger's seat, was looking at her. "Sorry," Juri said automatically.

"Are you feeling okay? You were staring off into space."

"Just thinking," Juri replied.

"You sure? I mean, if you want, we can switch places and you can sit up here where it's less cramped –"

"That's okay. I'm, um, going to take a nap."

Juri curled up as best she could. Conversation with her stepmother wasn't worth it right now. She missed the glances the two adults exchanged up front. She slept for most of the ride there to the camp grounds. By the time she opened her eyes, the lights of Tokyo were behind them. Realizing this, Juri turned and watched them for as long as she could, Jenrya's words – both spoken and unspoken – echoing. Instead of feeling excited, she felt uneasy.

For some reason, this didn't feel like a vacation. It felt more like they were running away.

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"Damn, how'd we get all this stuff in here in the first place?"

Juri watched as her dad stood with the car trunk open, his hands on his hips as he surveyed the inside. His wife stood nearby with the same dismayed expression. They'd reached the campgrounds by the time the afternoon began to darken as evening approached. It was only a matter of getting everything out; apparently easier said than done. Everything was packed so tightly they couldn't get to what they wanted to get out first. Apparently someone was a little too good at Tetris.

Juri's dad reached out and took hold of a thick duffel bag. "Guess we'll just do it this way: get everything out and then worry about getting organized."

His wife sighed. "Organization is never one of your strong points."

"Hey, I try…!" Juri's dad said in mock protest. He struggled with the bag before it popped out. He stumbled backward a step and offered his wife the duffel bag as a peace offering. "Here. A gift for you."

Shizue only rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Thanks. I think."

"It's from the bottom of my heart."

"Even though it's your bag?"

Juri didn't participate in their bantering. She never did. It was strange seeing her dad do it. Even stranger to see Shizue do it back. Juri couldn't remember if her real mom did the same, but it felt like her "new" mother was trying to fill an empty role left behind. A replacement. But Juri couldn't go out and say things like that. You simply didn't do that, go out and say what you thought you felt. Juri wasn't even sure if it was just common distrust she felt. She only knew that being with her step-mom felt somehow awkward.

Again, not something you'd say out-loud.

Somehow they managed to get everything out of the car in a short period of time, but not after her dad accidentally cut himself on something. It wasn't deep, and he simply pretended like it was some sort of "war wound". Juri watched as he began trying to organize the mess that jumped from their car only to be scattered onto its roof and the ground.

Juri's brother tugged on the hem of her skirt.

"Let's play!" he said.

"Masahiko…" Juri began.

Masahiko pouted. Juri knelt down so she was almost eye-level with her brother and pulled out the dog puppet from her purse. Predictably, the young boy's eyes lit up: he loved the puppet to bits and whenever Juri needed him to pay attention, she could bring it out and his eyes would be glued on her. He reached out to pet it as she put it on her hand and pretended to nibble at his small fingers.

"We'll play later, 'kay?" Juri said in the higher-pitched voice of the puppet. "First thing tomorrow, woof?"

Her brother tugged at the puppet's ears. "Tomorrow?"

"Yep! Woof! First thing tomorrow!"

Juri snuck a glance at her father: he was ignoring them, his arm draped around his wife's shoulder. She quickly looked away. It always felt awkward when they started doing that. Like she shouldn't even be there because she'd only be excluded, getting in the way. When her stepmother tried to approach her later, Juri avoided her with the excuse she wanted to look around.

She didn't stray too far. It was getting dark and she was old enough to know it probably wasn't any safer in the country than it was in the city. She managed to sneak some food away so that she could feed Calumon. Sitting down on a fallen log, Juri slipped her backpack off, holding up her flash light. It shone on the Rookie nestled within the backpack.

"Calumon, we're here. I got you some food," she whispered.

The Digimon blinked sleepily at her. "Food? Good food? Yummy food?"

Juri showed him the food; nothing special, some crackers, a small soda and the left-over cookies Masahiko hadn't been able to finish. It wasn't much to her, but to someone of Calumon's size, it was plenty.

"Thanks!" Calumon reached out with his paws and took the cookies. "Chocolate chip?"

"Yeah." Realizing the soda can was too big for Calumon to handle alone, Juri snapped open the lid and poured some into the small cup she brought along. "How do you feel? Not carsick of anything?"

"Nah! So whatcha doing tomorrow?"

"Dunno. I guess we could look around," Juri gave the little cup to her charge. "What do you want to do?"

Calumon reached into the bag of cookies. "Let's go exploring!" he said around his mouthful.

"Sure," Juri paused and dabbed at the crumbs around Calumon's mouth. "Daddy said there's a lake or something around here, so we could go check it out."

"Juri, lights out!"

Juri looked over her shoulder; her dad was standing in the distance, waiting. "Give me a few minutes?"

"Hurry it up, it's getting late!"

Calumon quickly went through the bag of cookies and the soda. Picking up Calumon and helping him back into the backpack, Juri trotted back down the path toward her dad. He crossed his arms over his chest as she approached him.

"Look, I don't mind you wandering around a bit, but I don't want you doing it when it's dark, okay?"

Juri nodded. Her dad was normally a lot more strict. Overprotective. It was surprising she'd managed to wander off for as long as she had before he came looking for her. But he was in a good mood right now so she was just getting off with a brief scolding. A frown crossing his face, her father took her by the arm and steered her back toward the campsite.

"Get some sleep," he said, herding Juri into the tent she shared with her little brother.

"I will, Dad."

"That's my girl. We're going to have a big day tomorrow together, so don't stay up all night talking with your brother. Or…" here he paused. He still hadn't gotten used to the "extra" member of the family, "...or that dog puppet, alright?"

"I won't."

He helped her crawl into her sleeping bag. Her dad always tucked her in every night, no matter how late he got to work or if he was mad at her for some reason or another. Juri snuggled into her sleeping bag. It wasn't that comfortable, but Dad had worked hard to get them a vacation out of Tokyo and rocks digging into her back weren't really that big of a deal.

Her dad, still half in and out of the tent's entrance, undid her pony-tail for her and combed her hair about her shoulders.

"Juri, I know we don't get to do things as a family that often…"

Juri glanced at her brother – he was curled up in a ball, breathing softly and asleep. She kept her voice low. "Well, I mean, you've got to work, right?"

The silently reproving stare her father gave him told her she was way off the mark.

"That's not what I meant. I want you to try to give Shizue some time."

Juri suddenly wished her hand puppet was closer. Because her father wouldn't be talking about so sensitive a subject if the dog puppet was on her hand; he couldn't stay super-serious when it was close to her.

"I am nice to her."

"No, you're not. You're not being fair to her, Juri."

Juri wanted to squirm under the sleeping bag. She couldn't say what she thought, not when this vacation meant a lot to him. Juri knew that. So she swallowed whatever she had been about to say and nodded meekly.

"I'll try to be more fair."

Her father smiled. "Thanks. That's all I was asking for," he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead after smoothing away her bangs, just like always. "Good night."

"Night, Daddy."

Her dad backed out, leaving Juri to go to sleep. Sleeping out in the open was a new experience when she actually could hear the willowy scrape of the tree branches against one another in the soft breeze, the sounds of beating wings in the distance that were probably owls. There was the fact she could actually see real stars from the little window in the tent instead of the golden glow of the city. And then there was the silence: no cars, no people coming in and out at odd hours. Nothing aside from the nature surrounding them and the hushed voices of her parents.

I was being fair. I didn't say anything mean to Shizue, Juri scrunched up her face at the tent's ceiling. Juri wasn't confrontational either. She knew what some of the kids whispered about her at school, that she was "weird". Let them think what they wanted. She still had her own friends. Being called "weird" or "dorky" by strangers didn't mean anything. Unfortunately, that same approach also made her family situation a tense one.

Juri hadn't been aware she started listening in on the conversation outside the tent until she perked up at the mention of her name.

"- about Juri?"

I shouldn't be listening, Juri told herself. Just more grown-up stuff. None of her business.

"I don't know what to do."

A woman's voice. Shizue's, no doubt.

"It'll take time. It's not anyone's fault."

Daddy's voice.

Shizue sighed, "I wish I could do something. Y'know, to try to break the ice. But it's like she hates me…"

"She doesn't hate you."

"Sometimes it feels like it."

"She doesn't hate you," Juri's dad repeated.

A brief silence. Juri tried to go to sleep, shutting her eyes. She hadn't drifted very far to sleep before her dad spoke up:

"Don't worry. Things'll work out. We all had it rough back then; you weren't there. It's not your job to try to place yourself in that position."

A sniff. "I…can't help it. I don't want her to hate me for anything."

"She doesn't hate you, I – "

" - already said that, yes, I know."

"You're doing your best."

"I know, it's just that – "

"We'll take things slowly. Here's an idea: I can take Masahiko tomorrow hiking. You should go with Juri."

"I don't know," Shizue sighed. "Are you sure?"

"You two need time alone. Sit down and talk," a pause from Juri's father. "Her…my first wife's death hurt her back then. There are a lot of issues with Juri, with all of us. It's going to take time."

"I know…okay. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks for putting up with all this, Shizue. I know this time away from everything will really help."

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The next day was overcast.

Juri woke up to find Masahiko had crawled into her sleeping bag again. He curled up into a little ball at her side, still asleep, and clutching one of the worn hand-me-down stuffed animals that once belonged to his older sister. Juri couldn't help a smile at this. Her little brother always did this whenever he couldn't sleep in his bed.

Juri sat up, brushing her loose hair back over her shoulders. Crawling carefully over her little brother, she peeped quickly outside. No one was out there. Crawling back again on her hands and knees, she went through her duffel bag and pulled out some fresh clothing. Changing into denim shorts and pulling a hoodie over her head, she stepped outside of the tent.

The air was cold against her bare legs. Juri shivered. Even in Shinjuku, early mornings still had a certain measure of warmth to them. True cold, like the stars, had been blotted out by the city for years. Still, goose-bumps or not, it was kinda nice in a weird way. She sat down on the park bench at the edge of the campgrounds, hugging her arms over her chest for warmth.

She hadn't forgotten last night's conversation. She wished she had – after Dad and Shizue went to bed, she'd stayed up late thinking. No matter what she thought about her stepmom, she never liked it when people cried, no matter the reason. It felt weird. Like it was always her fault, like she was the bad guy. Maybe I was this time. Juri knew she'd been intentionally giving her stepmom the cold shoulder. It seemed to make sense at the time. But when she actually heard Shizue crying like that, the reasons suddenly felt flimsy.

Juri couldn't help but feel guilty. Unlike Masahiko, she still remembered her real mom; her little brother was so long then he wouldn't even remember her face by the time he was his sister's age.

Who am I fooling? Juri really needed time alone to think about this some more, like go for a walk. Or something. She used to do that back in Shinjuku – leave early for school, stop off at the Matsuda's bakery, walk back the long way – but it wasn't as easy to do it here. Maybe Juri could take Calumon to the lake for a bit before everyone woke up; there was a map of the campgrounds, so she could at least find that safely.

She glanced at her watch. Wow, only seven? Maybe everyone would sleep late.

Apparently everyone but Shizue. Juri had just gotten up when she heard a voice behind her.

"Morning, Juri."

Juri turned around. Shizue was stepping out of their tent, wearing a green sweater and doing the same little hug for warmth Juri was. "Morning, Shizue," Juri said. It sounded a lot more irritated than she intended, so she tried again. "Um, what're you doing up this early?"

That wasn't much better, but it was a start.

Her step-mom joined her on the bench, sitting across the table. "Couldn't sleep. Have to admit I'm not used to sleeping on the ground like that."

"Oh," Juri suddenly wished she had her dog hand-puppet on her. It usually made it easier to get around awkward situations like this. But it was back in the tent and she couldn't just get up now. "It's…um…pretty hard getting used to something different."

A long pause.

Shizue sighed, looking like she was steeling herself. "Could we talk? Just the two of us?"

"We're alone right now."

"Mind if we go on a walk?" Shizue met Juri's eyes. "Please?"

"Okay."

They got up and left. Peering through the flap of the tent, Juri's dad smiled and went back to sleep.

The talk took a few hours and by the time Shizue walked Juri back, it was already past nine in the morning. The cold and fog started to lift. The whole thing had been draining; Shizue started talking and somehow they got into a fight that ended up dying out as Juri shouted some things she'd wished she hadn't. Shizue had done the same. But they'd continued to talk and while it was painful, they managed to get some things out in the open.

Things she really needed to think about.

Masahiko came toddling to her as the two came back down the dirt path. I guess this's going to have to wait. After all, she'd promised to play with him. Maybe tomorrow, Juri sighed as her father announced that they were going to go hiking; after that, a big group dinner.

In fact, it wasn't until toward the end of the vacation was she able to slip away. There were only a few days before they needed to pack for the long drive back to Tokyo. During that time, they met another family out on vacation: Shizue was out talking with them, while Juri's father had taken it upon himself to cook for both families. Masahiko was completely engrossed in playing with the doggy hand-puppet Juri lent him. Taking Calumon with her, she went down to the lake. Finally. She had to admit that yes, she was having fun, but honestly, she did need to be alone. The talk she'd had with Shizue was still bugging her. Didn't help that every now and then, Shizue would glance at her with that apprehensive look, as if waiting for some answer.

Sitting down at the shore of the lake and watching Calumon play in the clear water, Juri tried to sort things out. She'd told no one about the talk with Shizue the other day. Masahiko was too young to understand. And Dad – well, this just seemed private. Both Juri and Shizue said things that were best kept between them.

"I don't want to be a replacement, Juri!"

Shizue hadn't been lying when she'd said that, tears brimming in her eyes. No matter what Juri wanted to believe, Shizue wasn't going to replace her real mother. She couldn't. And…Juri had been blaming her for nothing. She used to be so proud everyone said she was so fair and nice to everyone when, in fact, she really wasn't.

Calumon came splashing toward her. The little Digimon cocked his head.

"What's wrong, Juri?" Calumon asked. His oversized ears drooped sadly. "You're not having fun…."

"I'm having fun!" Juri protested. "I'm just…I guess I just need to think about stuff."

"What about?" Calumon plunked down next to her. "You can tell me, I can keep secrets!"

"It's not really a secret," Juri frowned. "It's just…this isn't the kind of thing you tell a lot of people."

Calumon blinked. "Why not?"

"Well…um…it's just that..." Juri found herself stumbling. Why shouldn't she talk to someone about her problems? She listened to everyone else's. She gave a nervous half-smile. "It's hard to explain. Do Digimon have parents?"

"Um…I don't think so. We don't have babies, but we have Digi-eggs!"

Juri let Calumon climb into her lap. The Rookie settled in, eyes on her as she tried to explain her problem. She couldn't ever remember talking aloud about it. It never occurred to her before, especially not when she was busy emphasizing with everyone else. Her words came out slow: "Shizue's not my real mom – she's what we call a 'step-mom' –"

"So she's an improved mom? Like a higher step on stairs?"

Juri's cheeks flushed. "No. It doesn't work like that."

Calumon sensed he said something wrong. His ears dropped further.

"I'm sorry," his voice was very small. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"It's okay," Juri said shakily.

It hurt when Calumon had said that. But that was exactly what Juri was afraid of, that Shizue would somehow be better than her real mom. That Juri would forget what her real mom had been like. That all memories would fade away and Juri would be the one at fault.

"My mom died a few years ago, when I was young. She was very sick. I remember she always used to cough a lot even before Masahiko was born," Juri started. She could already feel her throat tighten. Her eyes burned with tears. "It got worse after he was born. She started coughing a lot more after that…"

She hadn't seriously thought back to those days in a long time. It'd been a lot easier to focus on pushing away Shizue. But she could still remember Mom's frame wracked with those terrible coughs. She remembered the first time she'd seen blood on her palm, how her mom simply wiped it away from her hand rather than alarm her daughter.

Juri had been too young to understand what it meant. After all, her mother had been coughing for as long as she could remember. But the red splotches on her palm were new. She asked her daddy why there was blood. The expression on his face turned scary; there was so much open fear it twisted his face into a stranger's. He'd pulled Juri's mother into their room and slammed the door behind them.

After that, Juri's mother didn't leave the house often. She soon lost her job because she started collapsing at work. It became so frequent she couldn't get anything done with her constant blackouts. Her co-workers were sympathetic. They sent flowers and get-well cards and the little magic charms from local shrines. But no matter how many charms and cards piled up on the mantle, none of them seemed to work. Her condition worsened.

Juri watched as her mother withered away.

Her dad himself was suffering. One day, he went to the doctor's and found he developed several ulcers, probably from the stress. He had dark bags under his eyes that made him look like a ghost. He haunted the halls of their house, worrying over his wife each time she had to stagger back from the kitchen to the bedroom to rest. Not much later, he haunted the halls of the hospital with that very same look.

Masahiko was too young to remember any of this.

Unfortunately, Juri wasn't.

Her mom stayed at the hospital for what seemed like forever. Juri's afternoons weren't spent playing with other kids, but instead sitting in the plastic chairs of the waiting room, playing with a little stuffed bear and having make-believe conversations with it to pass the time. She wanted her mother to get well so they could do things together again. Her mom was about to teach her how to sew, but now the needle and thread lay on the counter, buried under the increasing bills.

Young Juri tried to tell herself her mom would get better. It just took lots of naps and maybe some good warm soup. Daddy – when she saw him – said nothing. He worked longer hours now to support Mommy and the rest of the family. But when he was home and he looked at Juri, he would get that strange little expression on his face and turn away, wiping at his eyes. But even then, Juri was convinced that her mother would come back home fine with only that wracking cough.

That was before Juri visited her hospitalized mom for the first time.

Juri could still remember the stark horror she felt, even at that young an age, upon seeing Mommy. She shrank backward into her dad at the sight of the emaciated creature lying amid the sheets. This wasn't Mommy. Her mom wasn't made of bones and sunken skin, a skeletal monster with tubes running across her ribs and scary machinery at her bloodless head.

The only thing stopping her from turning and running was Daddy's hand on her shoulder. He sat her down next to his wife's bed. The creature on the bed turned her head toward them, her black eyes watching them, glittering. Juri was unusually withdrawn that day, even as her mom – in-between coughing fits – talked with Daddy and tried to ask Juri how she'd been doing all this time. Juri just sat there in a miserable ball.

She left the hospital feeling a growing resentment toward this bizarre creature.

Juri knew somehow that this was Mommy. Her father saw the changes, but bravely tried to ignore them. The creature at the hospital had the same eyes and hair, although that hair was limp and starting to fall out. It thinned more and more between each visit to the creature's bed-side. Juri began to grow brave enough to converse with it, to accept the creature knew exactly the same little secrets and stories that her real mom did. Over time, she could've gotten perfectly used to this new mother.

But the underlying resentment and anger still remained.

Her last visit was during the early weeks of spring. But the creature on the bed didn't know what day it was, much less the season. Two doctors came in to visit that day. Juri wondered aloud why they were there, but Daddy told her to hush, so she did. The little girl didn't understand the whispers over her head. But she did understand the creature was in pain. Its eyes, usually aware, were clouded. It groped blindly for her hand with its bony claws. She gave it to the creature, not without a shudder, as Daddy was led by the doctors into the hall.

"I'm…so…sor…" the creature slurred. She tried again. "I'm…sorry."

Juri watched with a kind of morbid fascination as the creature sucked in a trembling breath.

"Wa…nted…to get…be-better…for….y…you…"

Juri tried to ease the creature's suffering by distracting her. She staged little stories with her stuffed bear, her voice rising for the bear's part and falling back into her own childish lilt. It seemed like it worked, for the creature's glassy black eyes fixed on her, a little smile forming on her cracked lips. Noticing this, Juri threw herself completely into the games of make-believe. She had to. This was as much for the creature as it was for herself.

The creature still had that forlorn smile on her face when the doctors came back. Juri looked up. Two doctors stood at the foot of the bed on either side of Daddy. His expression was unreadable, his hands clenched at his side. The creature met his eyes and understood what she saw. Whatever it was, she gave the barest of nods without dropping the smile. Motioning Juri closer, the gaunt creature fought to lean over. She kissed her daughter on the forehead with the same gentleness that Juri's real Mommy used to possess.

Juri couldn't cry. But her bear could and he made crying sounds.

The creature slowly reached over and patted the bear on the head. She whispered another apology, telling the bear to be a good bear. To do what Daddy said. That things would be better, that creature was going to be sorry she couldn't be there. She was sorry she hadn't taught the bear to sew like she promised. She was sorry she hadn't been a better mother. She loved the bear, even now. She was sorry for everything.

The bear hugged the creature, whose clouded black eyes misted further with tears. She managed to stave off the next round of coughing during this, although she looked like it was going to tear her apart. Juri's father indicated their daughter should go back to the waiting room now. Juri somehow couldn't drag herself away from the creature. Mommy or not, it hurt to see her this sad, this lonely. Once Juri left, there would be no one to talk to. Staring into the button eyes of the bear for one last time and stroking its soft fur, Juri made her decision. Avoiding the creature's pitiful eyes, she placed the bear into her arms and ran away from the room.

The creature looked strangely grateful, bowing her head in acceptance. Her husband sat down at her side as one of the doctors closed the door after Juri.

That was the last time Juri saw Mom alive.

The funeral came not long after. Juri didn't remember all of it. Lots of Western black and traditional mourning whites. And a lot of unfamiliar faces saying how sorry they were. She remembered Daddy sitting down with her afterward. He tried to explain why Mommy was gone. Why the creature trapped in that bed was gone too. The young girl asked about the bear she gave to the creature. That, her father explained in a choked-up voice, had been cremated along with the creature. It was gone too.

A year passed.

Juri's father came to the realization he would have to parent for two and he became strict. He smoked and drank more coffee, which probably wasn't good for his ulcers, but he didn't care. Masahiko's birthday came and went with little fanfare, as did Juri's. The hole where their mom had been still gaped open. As did the financial hole from the joint costs of the hospital and the funeral, which Juri's father fought to pay.

Juri found herself almost jealous of her little brother during these times. He didn't know things had been better. That once they had a Mommy who, despite her constant coughing, loved them. She had loved them even when she coughed blood and been somehow replaced by the pathetic creature on the bed with the same voice and cough and eyes. But to Masahiko, none of this happened. He was off in his own little world, crawling around the empty house.

Another year.

It was scarcely a few weeks after the second anniversary of the death when Shizue suddenly appeared in their lives.

"And?"

Juri abruptly cut off from her story.

It suddenly seemed so clear. All of it. What she saw as the real truth made her pale.

"Um, are you okay?"

"I-I'm okay," Juri said. "It's justthese aren't good memories."

It's not that I hate Shizue…

Juri hadn't wanted her memories of her real mother replaced. But there was more to this than just that. That was all a convenient cover.

The secret, shameful anger she'd felt toward her real mom still existed. The whole cycle could start again. Juri wasn't so young that she could bounce back after a few years and hide behind stuffed animals and dog hand-puppets.

I want us to be happy.

No more creatures. No more cremations. No more death.

I don't want to hate my mom again.

The realization of how she acted back then, all those years ago, was a splash of cold reality. The resentment carried through the years up till now, when she directed it toward this new, threatening step-mom. Juri had made an enemy for herself when Shizue hadn't done anything wrong. Juri made an enemy because she needed it. Shizue had been nothing but a scapegoat.

It wasn't Shizue who made it so old hurts couldn't heal. It was Juri.

My fault. Everyone's learned to deal with it but me. Even Daddy's better off.

I forgave Mom.

Juri had blamed her for things she was only now becoming aware of. Deep down at the center of all of it was the selfish thought it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair the creature – no, her mom – died and left Juri alone. It wasn't fair her Dad spent the days afterward stumbling about as if in a waking nightmare with bloodshot eyes. It wasn't fair Masahiko didn't even know his own real mom's name.

It wasn't fair.

But everyone had to know that. And it wasn't fair for Juri to act like she was the only one who was hurt.

All that anger, pent up inside for years and allowed to stew. A part of her actually liked having an excuse to direct it at other people. But that wasn't what Juri really wanted. It wouldn't be easy to face just what kind of person she'd been up till now. But she had to take responsibility. She couldn't be arrogant anymore and let herself think that she had to play martyr -

"Juri!"

Juri blinked. "I'm sorry. I – " She didn't notice the insistence in Calumon's voice until he cut her off with a scared whisper.

"Eyes!" he cringed and pointed across the lake. "Watching us!"

Juri snapped to attention. Eyes? Where? She scanned the area. At first she didn't see them, not until the brush suddenly rippled with movement. Juri got to her feet slowly. Other hikers? And what was that strange humming? She squinted. A taunting flash of gray and a tail. Claws. Definitely not hikers. One of them floated into full view as she and Calumon stood as still as they could.

Digimon.

Calumon whimpered. "Let's get out of here."

Juri had the same idea as he did. She turned slowly to head back down the path.

Another of the Digimon blocked her path. Long tufted ears trailed from its lightly furred skull, fangs on either side of its jaws. A small lion's tail lashed out behind it as it fixed its blank silver eyes on her. One of its legs was only a gnarled stump, bent inward but still somehow supporting its weight. Overly long arms trailed on the ground. It looked almost like some kind of deranged wild rabbit. But most disconcerting of all was that weird humming sound it made; it almost sounded like mangled words. She realized it was a Gazimon, remembering her Digimon cards. A Gazimon mutated and warped and twisted in on itself.

Digimon or not, it didn't look like it wanted to be friends.

Juri broke for it and ran.

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(The present)

Juri Katou ran for her life.

Branches continued to stretch out and scratch at her. It seemed like she had been running forever, but she was starting to get tired, no matter how much adrenaline ran through her body. Behind her she could hear the ever-present hum of her pursuers. She didn't know why they were chasing her. All she knew was she didn't want to be caught. Calumon clung to Juri as she continued to race at break-neck speed through the undergrowth. A lunge over a fallen tree trunk. Her foot came down hard in a small ditch and she almost fell. Staggering, she threw a glance behind her.

One of the humming Digimon was already in view several yards back. It ghosted right through the trees.

Up ahead, there was a burst of gray light through the thinning trunks. Juri sprinted toward them.

"Juri!"

The path abruptly ended a few feet away. She came to a stop, teetering for a terrified second before pulling back.

The ground dropped into a steep cliff. Hundreds of feet below were a mound of rocks and roots, the result of a recent land-slide. The ground itself felt unstable and she turned to find another way.

The two ghostly Digimon blocked her way.

Juri could hear only the frantic beating of her heart. It even drowned out the high-pitched humming from the creatures floating there with their blank eyes fixed on her and Calumon. She could only hear the thunder of her heartbeat as one of the Digimon lunged at her. Rolling, heavy thuds in her ears as she instinctively backed away -

And went backward over the cliff.

Juri wasn't sure if she was screaming. She probably was. A faint voice told her to let Calumon go – he could fly – and she felt her fingers relaxing from around the Rookie's little stomach.

I'm going die.

Heartbeats all around her as she plummeted toward the boulders below.

Yet for some reason, all Juri could think of was her realization. She was going to die without ever trying to make amends. Without taking responsibility for what she did.

The real truth…

Juri had to let go of that selfish little part of her.

My family!

Another chance! Please!

Without warning, there was a violent flurry of green leaves behind her. Through her tears, Juri see the blur of green winding around her falling body in a spiral. The wind whipped the other direction. Suddenly she wasn't falling anymore as she settled into something both soft and hard. In fact, she was now rapidly moving upward with the whirlwind.

Dazed, Juri looked up. She was nestled in the crook of someone's arm. Someone's big arm. Her eyes widened as she took in her rescuer.

He was no human. A Digimon himself, he looked nothing like the ones that sent her plunging off the cliff. A thick mane ran from his proud brow to the nape of his neck. She could feel his powerful muscles flexing as he ascended into the air through the hurricane. Scattered scars covered a dull orange hide. His lion's face was stern and, she noticed with relief, didn't hold that scary blankness the Digimon from before had. Her rescuer's fierce blue eyes flicked to her for a second and then away.

"Juri!" Calumon was hovering outside of the leaves, his winged ears extended. "You're okay!"

She didn't have time to reply, however. The Digimon shifted her easily to his other elbow as he landed easily on the cliff. The enemy Digimon didn't even have time to attack or even flee. In a motion so quick she wasn't even sure she saw it, her rescuer whipped his blade from out of the sheath at his back. It plunged into the head of the first Digimon. It carved a graceful arc through the second one's neck.

The two Digimon vanished like they never existed as her rescuer sheathed his sword with a fluid motion.

Silence.

Juri was aware of the lion-Digimon watching her now and she blushed. "T-thank you," she stammered.

He nodded. Any doubts she had about him being able to speak were laid to rest as he opened his mouth and a low, rumbling voice came out.

"You're welcome."

Calumon dived into Juri's arms, chattering so fast she could barely understand him. Her rescuer watched the little Rookie with an almost amused expression on his snout. He waited until the two calmed down before speaking up again.

"What's your name, young one?"

Juri glanced at Calumon. Young one? Oh. He meant her. "Um," she found she had a hard time remembering; she was so awestruck that she stumbled over her words. "Juri Katou. And Calumon."

"Leomon," her rescuer gestured at himself.

Juri nodded wordlessly. Somehow she couldn't stop staring at Leomon. He was like some hero out of those old stories Mom used to read.

Mom…

Juri found tears burning. Her mom; frail, dying, but strong in other countless ways until the end. Juri had hated her for selfish reasons. She had been too blind to understand how it must have felt when your own daughter pretended not to shun you.

What kind of person am I?

And here…here was this pillar of strength before her. Like some kind of last wish from the dying creature in the hospital bed.

Juri couldn't see anymore as the first sob shook her small frame. Why hadn't she tried to be there for her mom more when she'd been visiting? Why had she done that?

Why did I hate her?

I loved her.

So why did I do such a horrible thing to her?

Juri felt a large paw on her shoulder. She looked up through her tears. Leomon knelt down next to her, Calumon looking close to crying himself at her distress from his perch on the larger Digimon's shoulder.

Juri didn't want to lose Shizue like she lost her real mother.

Juri felt her tears trickling warm trails down her cheek as she wrapped her arms around Leomon's waist and cried. Leomon exchanged worried looks with Calumon and awkwardly rested one large paw on her head, patting her on the back as she sobbed into his soft fur. Even when sobs died down to sniffles, she remained where she was, drained.

Her mom was dead. No matter how much Juri cried for her now, she wasn't coming back. She couldn't apologize for what happened years ago. It wouldn't help if she could – the damage had already been done.

But…now Juri had a second chance.

Leomon tried his best to comfort this strange little human. He didn't know exactly why she was crying, but he felt he had to do something. The Champion found himself awkwardly murmuring to Juri, saying she was going to be alright now, that the Golems were gone, that she wasn't alone. That there was no need to cry. Don't cry, he said. He was careful to be gentle when he patted her on the back; humans were frail and he didn't want to kill the girl he'd just saved.

"You can be strong," Leomon said as Juri sniffed.

I have to be. Everyone else is strong…

"I know," Juri said, voice muffled by Leomon's fur.

"The world - Digital or Real - isn't going to end right now," Leomon told her. He offered a smile.

Juri sat back slowly. She wiped at one eye with the back of her hand.

"You're still here. That should be enough."

Juri wiped away the last of her tears. She smiled through them.

"Thank you, Leomon."

He stood up as Juri did the same. She could see that he wanted to ask her questions, but thankfully, he kept them to himself for the time being. He explained a bit how he got here, that he was sent by a Knight to help the new Chosen Children, but that he heard a desperate voice calling for him. Juri listened to his explanation; he was a good story-teller, and made what would have probably gone over her head understandable. Juri could've stayed with him all day – an hour had passed into another before she realized that she would have to return to her family. Her father and Shizue were waiting, as was Masahiko. She'd been gone so long that they were going to start looking for her if she didn't return soon.

Leomon understood this. He promised to remain in the area since he still had much he wanted to ask her. Not only that, but he was concerned the Golems – the creatures she and Calumon ran into – would come back. The warrior waved with one large paw as Juri disappeared back into the forest.

She got back without any more ambushes. Returning to the clearing, Juri stopped at the sight of her family in the afternoon's orange glow. Masahiko was playing with the other campers' twins, waving the dog-puppet at them. Daddy was setting the park table with paper cups and plates, laughing as the father of the other family, a round, mustached man in his fifties, told some kind of joke with a dramatic sweep of his hand. Shizue had been standing to the side by Juri's tent, looking pensive.

Looking at them all like this, it felt like something changed. She felt lighter.

"Juri!"

Shizue spotted her and came rushing over. At the last moment she remembered to keep her distance. She gave Juri a nervous look, biting her lip.

Juri flashed her a true smile.

I don't hate you.

Her stepmother tentatively returned the smile. Her face lit up.

I don't hate my first mom either.

Juri let Shizue fuss over the scratches and forming bruises on her legs. Shizue immediately began talking, wondering where she got them, asking if they hurt, apologizing because they hadn't brought any band-aids and saying that she could ask the other family if they had any. She would try to wash Juri's cuts, if that was okay with her.

Shizue ran off to get a water bottle and a towel, leaving Juri sitting on the cooler in the afternoon light. Juri watched her stepmom go. Shizue would never be like her Mom. It was impossible. But Juri could grow used to Shizue and that was what really mattered, wasn't it? Letting her gaze wander, Juri thought she saw a glimpse of orange fur, a lion's tail through the trees.

Still here…

Still another chance.

Fin
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